Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

psy,
I'm not real familiar with internet terms, so I don't know what a "troll" is either.
There are actually 2 main issues challenging our daughter.  The first is the underlying mood disorder and parasomnia.  Layered over that is the sexual abuse.  It is very difficult to counsel a patient about traumatic events in their lives if they have an untreated psychiatric issue to boot.  In our daughter's case, both issues were addressed, and continue to be addressed.  I agree that medicating a victim of abuse and ignoring the abuse itself would be negligent.
She has never reported feeling "numb" on Lithium, only more clear-headed, focused and content.  Perhaps this is because her dosage is low.
Our daughter received outpatient  psychiatric and psychological counseling for years before residential treatment and for years before her molestation.  Several different anti-depressants were tried without success.  According to our daughter, Lithium was the only med that worked.  She is living away at college now, and takes it on her own regularly.  No one puts a gun to her head and forces her.  She came to this conclusion on her own after trial and error.
As to her program, we did our own research.  We found this site, and the ST site, and isaccorp and heal-online.  We networked with local and regional psychiatrists and visited 4 different facilities.  No, the facility we chose was not a WWASPS or CEDU or "faith-based" facility.  It is a very small clinically-based facility in Wisconsin that specifically treats girls who are victims of sexual abuse.  There are 2 separate homes with 7 girls in each.  And no psy...no witchcraft was used to get her to talk.  She had been talking openly about the abuse incidents with us and her therapists before she went into residential.
As far as "confessions" in the program...there were really no surprises.  Her molestation at age 12 was corroborated by one of her cousins who was with her on the trip. Our daughter  had been talking to us about it anyway.  Her rape case 2 years later hit the local newspapers.  The man she was going to run with was found dead in his home 2 weeks after she left for residential - heroin overdose.  No surprise there. Two of the men who raped her are currently serving time.  One got a suspended sentence. Two more have disappeared.  The nasty details of our daughter's time with these animals came out in court.  We didn't hear about the Tennessee plan until she was in residential because, as I indicated above, the jerk died before he went to trial.
Other options...we tried all the ones you listed.  She was short-term inpatient at our local facility on 5 different occasions, and a resident at another in a nearby city for 2 weeks.  The long-term inpatient psych facility in our state had a very long waitng list (and a scary reputation).  Out of state psych ward?  We think our daughter got better and more specialized care in Wisconsin.  Rape counseling, check.  Support group, check.  The advice of her friends went in one ear and out the other.

Bottom line, I agree that residential treatment should be the absolute last choice, and should only be made if the kid is a danger to himself or others.  It should be considered ONLY after all LOCAL mental health care resources have been completely exhausted.

guest,
I didn't say there was an 8 month waiting list for psych treatment.  I said there was an 8 month waiting list for INPATIENT LONG-TERM psych treatment.   Learn to read, asshole.

psy,
I know that the "dead r' in jail" mantra is often quoted by those who advocate the use of programs and also by those who ridicule the decisions made by some grieving parents.
In our daughter's case, she was a danger to herself.  I don't want to turn my post into a novel, so I will distill it down to the essentials.

Our child (one of 3) started exhibiting signs of mental illness around preschool age.  We found a child psychiatrist and therapists at a local university medical center.  She remained in therapy for about 4 years.  A complete neuro-psych evaluation determined depression and parasomnia (sleep disorder).  My husband and I were peaceful
attentive, and loving parents.  Loving and involved extended family.  No history of familial mental illness.  No evidence of abuse or molestation of our daughter.
Fast-forward to age 12.  On an overseas trip with grandparents and cousins, she is molested by an older teenage boy.  The hell begins.  Despite the entire family rallying around her with love and support, and despite finding the best local therapist who specializes in sexual abuse and trauma recovery, our daughter spins out of control.
She starts fondling and giving blow jobs to boys in 7th grade.  She leaves the house in the middle of the night and hitchhikes with strangers.  (Yes, we installed a security system).  Gets beaten up, raped and prostituted out when she walks off with strangers at age 14.  From 12 to 14 she is in outpatient therapy and is admitted to a
local adolescent mental health care facility off and on, sometimes for one week, sometimes for 3 weeks at a time.
One summer she disappeared for 9 days.  We live in the rural Midwest where the corn grows very high by August.  Almost every year when the corn is harvested a partially decomposed body is found.  We were absolutely certain that our daughter's body would be found under those circumstances given her tendancy to walk off
with men who were strangers to her.   When we found her, she had lost 10 pounds, was covered in bruises, and spent 5 days in the hospital with an IV.  Didn't seem to faze her.  As soon as she got home she started contacting the men who had abused her.  She admitted to her therapist at a TBS that the plan was for her to rejoin
one of them, drive to Tennessee, and prostitute to feed his heroin addiction.
I've said enough.  I think you get the picture.  We tried to keep her safe, but our state's ONLY long-term inpatient mental health facility had a waiting list of 8 months.  Yeah, we took drastic action or we were going to lose her forever.
Right now she is 19 years old, a sophomore in college, and on the Dean's list.  It was in her RTC where she was finally diagnosed with bi-polar ll.   Wonder of wonders, she was prescribed lithium with an anti-depressant and started to feel like a human being again.
Our daughter still struggles with several issues surrounding her mental illness and sexual abuse.  She probably always will.  But she is alive and moving forward.
Our daughter, my husband and myself have had many long conversations about the merits and drawbacks of residential placement.   We have all come to the conclusion that, for her, placement kept her physically safe while she continued her education and her brain matured.   No more, no less.  She didn't receive any magical, life-changing advice from any of the staff, and she didn't buy into the "program."  She was just kept safe from herself.

:tup:
Hey, its a start.

I noticed.  I was looking for it.  Probably worried about liability issues.

Guys, I have the email address of the girl's mother.  By the way, I was mistaken about something.  The daughter with RAD is 15, not 12.  Anyway, if I post her email here, does everybody promise to try to get through to her and her husband with compassion and diplomacy?  Her name is Terri.