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Messages - str8isabuse

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / another bad thing
« on: June 19, 2003, 09:16:00 PM »
in va in the early 80s we had to sit indian style for 2-3 hours in the carpet room for executive raps and also for girls' rap.  i remember usually being so crowded in together that my knees would be touching the knees of the people sitting at my sides, the rear end of the person in front of me was touching my shins, and my rear end was touching the shins of the person behind me.  talk about claustrophobia!  my hips hurt so badly from having to sit in indian style without moving for several hours.

does anyone remember lining up in st. pete to go home at night?  we would line up silently with our toes touching the heels of the person in front, and feeling the toes of the person behind us on our heels.  

how fucking therapeutic it was NOT.

don, i had the same problem with my legs on 5th phase from standing still all day and a good part of the night.  i had to flex my leg muscles a lot to relieve the discomfort.  the problem is that blood pools in your lower leg veins, and only muscular contraction could help return the blood to the heart, since gravity obviously wasn't on our side.  walking is fine, but standing for a long time is not.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Any one from the tri state area? NY NJ or CT?
« on: June 08, 2003, 03:47:00 PM »
hey... i'm in ct and was on gandy dr and later in 5515 backlick rd.  i was on the girls' side.  what about you?

3
The Troubled Teen Industry / Are there any good schools that don't cost and arm & leg
« on: April 17, 2003, 06:20:00 PM »
your daughter may have thrown the zoloft away because of side effects of that medication.  zoloft is marketed as one of the new ssri anti-depressants with relatively few side effects, but each patient reacts differently and some people do in fact have unpleasant side effects.  you should talk to her and her psychiatrist about this and consider trying a second or third medication instead.  it takes time to find the right one.  she is too young to understand this.

sending your daughter away may temporarily ease the stress in your life, but it will hurt her terribly in the long run unless you send her to a fantastic place that she falls in love with, thrives at, and allows her to maintain close communication (unmonitored) with you at all times.  typically you get what you pay for, so i doubt most of us could ever afford the perfect place.  in any event, if you send her away, she will know that you abandoned her, and this will scar her for life.  like it or not, she is your daughter and you owe her support and yes, even love at this point in her life.  you really only have a few years left in which you can play a significant role in her life.  

a consultation with the obgyn about pms and hormonal imbalance is a good idea as her hormones fluctuate quite a bit during the month, affecting her mood significantly.  taking a fun, relaxing trip to a place you both would enjoy for some bonding is a wonderful idea.  try to remember her good points, talk about her recent difficulties and tell her you are worried and want to help.  she may be concerned also if she is in as much trouble as you have indicated.

good luck to you.



[ This Message was edited by: str8isabuse on 2003-04-17 15:21 ]

4
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / "Everyone who is not dead is fine (whatever)"
« on: January 29, 2003, 05:53:00 PM »
i learned at straight to be self-denigrating, even when i don't really think it's appropriate, just in case the other person is thinking critical things about me. i call myself an idiot, dense, stupid, a moron, and things like that just as conversational filler.  often it makes the person i'm talking with feel compelled to contradict me, and then i feel awkward because i realize it looks like i was fishing for a compliment, which i don't think i'm doing.  i think i'm just very insecure about my own worth because of all the confrontation i was subjected to.  anybody else like this?

i also can fight pretty hard verbally with my spouse, but i avoid conflict like the plague with anybody else.  i can't stand conflict, but i feel safe to vent with my spouse.  i end up being a doormat to other people because i'm too timid to say no.

5
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / United Nations Formal Complaint Filed by Survivors
« on: January 14, 2003, 01:14:00 PM »
it doesn't matter how old these crimes are.  THEY WERE SERIOUS CRIMES!  and we are suffering, some of us for 20 years or so, from the abuse we sustained.  i am tortured by the visions of human suffering i saw with my own eyes, and i can't believe it happened in this country that i love so much.  the public needs to know the truth, so we can protect our children.  do you realize that if you died and your children somehow ended up in foster care, they could end up in a program like this?  we HAVE to help these adolescents!!!

don't be selfish!  where is your outrage?  your sense of justice?

some of the atrocities that have come to light regarding world war 2 have brought justice decades later.  it can happen, and it should.  the law should reflect the exceptional nature of straight and its legacy programs.

6
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Pysical Abuse
« on: January 12, 2003, 11:09:00 AM »
i remember Peggy Hurl*y was put on a peanut butter diet for over a month.  one day, she snuck a piece of food off somebody else's paper plate as it was being passed down the row after supper, and people sitting around her reported her to a fifth phaser.  she was stood up and confronted mercilessly.  she was thin to begin with and had already lost weight, and looked so pale and miserable.  

i remember down in st. pete in 82, there was a guy who had a sister who was brought into the program as a sibling.  her name was kim, and they both came to va.  most days, there were at least 1 to 3 people getting sat on in the back of group, at all times.  i remember during the meals we would have to file past them.  i tried to avert my eyes because it was so sickening to see the faces of these poor kids/young adult.  i remember this guy's face so clearly... it was pale, mottled blue/gray, beaded with sweat, and there was a SOCK shoved into his mouth!!!!!  five or six guys were sitting on him.  i thought i was going to faint as i walked by, very conscious of the hand of the oldcomer inside the back of my pants.  i knew i could be on the concrete with five big girls on top of me in two seconds if i resisted in any way.  

after i was started over, i was screamed at mercilessly in group and sent home with oldcomers who were instructed by staff, and clearly were happy to comply, to "ride my ass".  they did.  i was given "consequences" of not being permitted to look at my own reflection in a mirror, a windowpane, a toaster, a spoon, you name it, i got confronted over it.  this was because i was "so vain".  they wouldn't let me shave my legs.  i couldn't have cared less, but it crushed my self-esteem (and i still remember it)to be confronted and told how ugly i was.  i had guys and girls screaming that i was ugly and even my own parents didn't want me.

let's have a song.

7
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Pysical Abuse
« on: December 06, 2002, 12:38:00 PM »
Speaking of Kevin Gr*mes, didn't he get his jaw busted in the bathroom when a bunch of bigger guys were incited to beat him up in there?  I remember him with a "dunce cap" on his head sitting on top of a ladder staff had brought into group.  Must have been late 82 or 83.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Child Abuse
« on: September 24, 2002, 05:23:00 PM »
absolutely wrong!

9
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / weird daydream
« on: September 24, 2002, 05:19:00 PM »
do any of you remember the "hash" they fed us in st. pete?  it was a mixture of tiny cubes of potatoes, eggs, and "meat" that resembled cat food.  they also gave us a pile of mashed potatoes with a few "meatballs" and gravy on it.  another healthful dish was beans and franks.  remember the fake butter pats on paper?  to this day, i don't like eating with plastic utensils.

hedwigfan, i remember doing the same thing with pb&j!  i'd forgotten about that strange way we ate those sandwiches.  which straight and what years were you in?

btw, what kind of doc are you? i'm a doc, too, but now stay home with my kids.

10
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / who is still sober #2 - the real question is not.......
« on: September 23, 2002, 06:02:00 PM »
the ends never justify the means when the means are abuse and wrongful imprisonment.

  those who look back with gratitude at straight need to think again about what we were subjected to.  violence is never acceptable. if straight's methods were ok to some, why do so many of us recall the blood, spit, tears, foaming mouths, gasping breath, bruises, broken and dislocated bones, suicide attempts/body carving, etc.  what about the sexual assaults and rapes at host homes that went unreported?  what about the guy who had to clean toilets with a toothbrush while he was leashed like a dog, crawling around on his hands and knees?  how is this helpful?  how is this treatment?  for those with children, would you want your child treated someday like this?  

what about innocent until proven guilty?  we were held in straight (most of us) without evidence or a trial.

11
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / who is still sober
« on: September 23, 2002, 05:53:00 PM »
i'm not "sober" in the sense you mean.  i'm not drunk, but i don't use the word "sober" to describe myself because I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC!  Thanks a lot, Straight, for trying to brainwash me on this one!  

i have been enjoying occasional drinks in romantic or social settings for the past 19 years, and am perfectly fine with this.  i also drink a cup of coffee every morning, tea sometimes in the afternoon, and i do like dark chocolate!  that's it for me!

12
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Lulu's Case
« on: September 23, 2002, 05:28:00 PM »
hey all,

just wanted to say that i'm happy to see newton having to defend himself yet again, and i really hope she wins.  what a sadistic man he was.  i was in straight in the early 80s.  

which courthouse will the case be tried in?

13
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Straight - St. Pete - Springfield '81-'83
« on: September 19, 2002, 11:47:00 PM »
hey dogs, i disagree with you that those who graduated look back with fondness for straight, while those who left are still bitter.  



i don't know a single former straight client who DID NOT HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM (and there were lots of us) who feels ANY gratitude at all for straight, whether he or she graduated or not.  think about it, if you were doing fine, straight did nothing but give you a real-life nightmare.  if you consider the risk/benefit ratio, you come to the logical conclusion that non-drug addicts did not benefit at all, while being subjected to significant risk.  mike may feel fine about straight, but he admits he was a mess before straight.  his sister was fine, and straight screwed her up royally! straight was such a great tool for stupid or abusive parents.





[ This Message was edited by: str8isabuse on 2002-09-19 20:51 ]

14
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / 1982-85 St. Pete and Virginia programs
« on: September 19, 2002, 11:24:00 PM »
hi jeff.  i remember your name, although of course i never looked over at the guys' side except to PAY ATTENTION to whomever was speaking.  i think i remember the time you got sat on... i still get sick from having seen all that torture.  

i get awful flashbacks from those songs, too.  it sucks because my kids like some of those songs.  they're the typical camp songs, so you can't always avoid them.  



i was with the group that left for virginia.  i remember lining up, toes touching the heels of the girl in front of me, and feeling someone's toes on my heels.  so claustrophobic!  anyway, i was so relieved to be getting away from the BIG FIG!  (Newton)  he had such a rage problem.  too bad they didn't have prozac back then; he could have used it.  i also remember feeling sorry for all the florida people who were stuck in group with newton running things.  virginia was awful, too, but it was still good to know i wouldn't be seeing him much anymore.



hi kathy.  :smile:  hope you had a good summer.  







[ This Message was edited by: str8isabuse on 2002-09-19 20:26 ]

15
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Please forgive me
« on: July 25, 2002, 07:52:00 PM »
I think you have done the best thing you could possibly do under the circumstances.  You did make a mistake in initially placing your son there, but they were deceitful and professional in their tactics to scare you into turning him over to them.  I don't blame you for making a mistake, and it's really commendable that you have taken responsibility for it and have apologized to your son.  Parenting is difficult, and Straight and legacy programs use very sneaky tactics to lure new clients.

You are ahead of most parents I think.  My own parents, who put me in Straight 20 years ago despite the fact that I did not have any sort of drug problem at all, maintain that it was not a mistake.  Needless to say, I can't even speak to them, given all the pain I suffered at Straight because of their decision.  Please try to forgive yourself, and remember how blessed you and your son are that you can view Straight honestly as a horrific place.  They are truly the evil ones, not the parents like you who didn't know what they were getting their children into.  Other parents may have used Straight to abuse their children, but you don't sound like you fit this category, especially since you took him out.

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