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Messages - Father Cassian Newton

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1
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Coddling Noelle Bush?
« on: April 15, 2004, 06:14:00 AM »
You know, I'm pretty hurt that Sembler didn't make Jeb send that little druggie slut Noelle to the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0.  Well, that's a kike for you. No gratitude.  Fucking Christkillers.

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Straight v2.0
« on: April 15, 2004, 06:09:00 AM »
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On 2004-04-14 08:32:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Father Newton, where can I get a copy of this faith based straight v2.0.Is there a free download.I'm sick of my druggie ways and would consider mindfucking,assfucking,and any other dumbfucking ideas you have for me."


FREE?  Don't make me laugh, Druggie!  Getting Straight costs money!  You don't get top shelf drug treatment for nothing!  Still, it's a hell of a lot cheaper than those mollycoddling, feel-good programs that simply DON'T WORK.  We offer up Tough Love at a bargain price, but it certainly isn't free.  Being willing to pay for treatment of the caliber you will receive at the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0 indicates a commitment on your part to getting Straight!  You see, anything less than a complete commitment to Straight, Inc. and its sacred Tools of Personal Change, the Steps, is like sliding down a greased firepole to the hell of drugs, insanity, and death, and a willingness to support your treatment financially is a good early indicator of your potential success.  The fact that you want to "get Straight" for free indicates that you do not yet take your drug problem seriously. Like the druggie you are, you want the benefits of being Straight while doing nothing to earn them.

  The "download" we offer is available only at our treatment facility, where our trained Staff will gladly mindfuck, assfuck, and dumbfuck you right out of your screwed up, chemically corroded, drug-dependent mind. PM me with your credit card number, expiration date, and personal info and I'll arrange for the Straight Staff to come over in the Straightmobile and bring you to the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0!  Get ready to get Straight, Druggie!  See ya on front row! Love ya!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / the 15 year itch
« on: April 12, 2004, 09:25:00 PM »
Quote
On 2004-04-12 16:44:00, RTP2003 wrote:

"
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On 2004-04-12 15:31:00, cayohueso wrote:


"That seems to happen to quite a few of us.  I found out about this by accident, but not from searching.  I saw a billboard about 4 years ago about Straight Survivors.  My heart lept!!!!  Finally, people who really knew[/b] what I went through.  Then I ran into someone in downtown St. Pete that I was in there with.  She just happened to be attending the conference.  I went up to the reception and saw a couple of people I hadn't seen in 20 years......blew my mind!!!





Glad you found us. :wave:

Where powers are assumed which have not been delegated, a nullification of the act is the rightful remedy.
http://laissezfairebooks.com/product.cfm?op=view&pid=FF7485&aid=10247' target='_new'>Thomas Jefferson: Kentucky Resolutions, 1798

"






It's part of the subliminal mind control techniques they used on us at Straight.  We were conditioned to be "sleeper agents" and only now are we awakening to that fact.  This was due to the "x-factor" of a few of us being exposed to certain strains of TBPITW which render us immune to their programming and post-hypnotic suggestions.  While you would have been seeking out Straightlings and receiving further cultlike initiation and programming from them right now if everything had gone according to their plan, you have instead been contacted by the Resistance through dreams, intuitions, unexplained urges, etc.  We are here to free you from Straightism and its horrible effects.  Smoke a lot of TBPITW for further assistance."


What druggie bullshit.  What brought them here was the desire to finally get Straight!  A desire that they can fulfill at the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0!  Love ya! Have a seat....

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Happy Easter Druggies
« on: April 12, 2004, 12:35:00 AM »
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On 2004-04-11 21:17:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Stop your Straight like lingo.

You'd like that, wouldn't you, Druggie? Maybe you'd like me to use druggie slang, is that it?

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Take your meds.

There you go again with your druggie attitude--"Drugs are the answer".  Just how much do you receive in kickbacks from pharmaceutical companies, you old croaker?  Seems like you want to enable all the druggies to get high instead of facing their drug problems. And you call yourself a doctor.  Physician, heal thyself!


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I am really fucked in the head, and Straight had nothing to do with it."


Finally you are making some sense!  I get so sick of you druggie ingrates blaming your problems on Straight!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Happy Easter Druggies
« on: April 12, 2004, 12:14:00 AM »
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On 2004-04-11 21:03:00, Anonymous wrote:

"What is going on in your life that you have time for this load of shit?

I've dedicated my life to getting druggie cretins Straight, unlike you, you medication dispensing, government-sanctioned drug dealer.




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The dolphin post that (by the way so dull I couldn't get past the first paragraph) must have taken a good few to type.  This is where your OCD is messing up the quality time in your life.

I'm sharing with the druggies quality ways in which they can spend their leisure time, and letting them get to know a little bit about me, again unlike you, who hides behind his anonymity (still twisting your program, eh, Druggie?)  



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You can't see the forest for the trees my friend."


Until you Seven Step from the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0, you are no friend of mine.  Love ya!  Have a seat.

6
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: April 12, 2004, 12:04:00 AM »
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Thirty-two pages of this thread celebrating the use of psychoactive drugs! This just illustrates the severity of your chemical dependency. This childish, druggie drivel has gone on far too long. It is neither amusing nor interesting, intelligent nor insightful. It is just some drooling, druggie moron babbling on endlessly about his depraved, impassioned cravings for psychoactive drugs. This is not entertaining, this is disgusting. Obviously a case for the front row of the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0. Until this hopheaded little cretin applies the Tools of Personal Change that we will so generously make available to them, they are destined to a miserable, deluded insanity of uncontrollable urges toward
chemically-induced stupors which they mistakenly regard as pleasureable. The only pleasure they really get is the numbness they get from avoiding their feelings. Feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness for becoming the druggie piece of shit that they know themselves to be. These feelings must be faced in an atmosphere of rigid discipline and tough love-- the new, improved, all-ages Straight, Inc. v2.0 ! See you on front row, pothead. Love ya!




That was me, Druggie, in case you didn't figure it out, you pill-pushing quack!

_________________
I am a priest of GOD[ This Message was edited by: Father Cassian Newton on 2004-04-11 21:06 ]

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Happy Easter Druggies
« on: April 11, 2004, 11:58:00 PM »
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On 2004-04-11 20:49:00, Anonymous wrote:


My suggestion is intense psychtherapy along with a good SSRI, such as prozac.



Good luck my sick friend.    :wave: "


Typical druggie banter--"Drugs are the answer!"  I'll have you know that the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0 is a DRUG FREE Program.  Don't try to push pills on MY Group, Druggie!  Love ya!

8
Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Why I Live On The Water
« on: April 11, 2004, 11:53:00 PM »
Heyo!

Firstly, introductions all round. My name is Fr. Cassian Newton, priest, drug treatment mastermind and Delphinic Zoophile. People are often wondering just what the hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best described as a love of animals so intimate that the person (and the animal) involved have no objections to expressing their affection for each other in the sexual fashion. This is not to be confused with bestiality, where a person forcefully mates an animal, without their consent, and with no mutual feelings whatsoever. This is something that I would never do to a dolphin, since I love them dearly, and treat them with the same respect that an honest husband would have for his wife and children.

Dolphins are very intelligent, highly emotional and expressive creatures. They enjoy the company of humans, and if a relationship develops between a human and a dolphin, as has happened with me, they will, on occasion, wish to express their trust and affection for you in the most direct way; through mating, or sex-play. You see, dolphins do not use sex purely for procreative reasons. They use it as a way of strengthening the bonds between pod mates (mothers and calves included), and also for fun. Dolphins and humans share this common trait with very few other animals, so sometimes it makes me wonder when people continue to ask me "How DO you mate with a dolphin?". Easy. Let the dolphin tell you!

Well, here is a selection of questions people have asked me, so I hope this sheds some light on the subject...

Q1) How do I tell a male dolphin from a female one?

A1) Probably the most common question I get asked. There are 2 ways of determining the sex of a dolphin. The most obvious way is to take a peek under the peduncle (the long part of the body connected to the tail flukes). On the dolphin's belly, directly opposite the dorsal fin, will be the umbilicus, or the navel of the dolphin. Looking further down towards the tail, you start to see the differences.

Male dolphins have two separate slits for the penis (the urogenital opening) and the anus. These are separated by a bridge of skin. The male's urogenital opening is generally located further up the belly, towards the navel.

Females, on the other fin, have one continuous larger slit, the anus located at the end of it. On either side of the genital slit, you will find two smaller slits; these are the mammary slits, where the nipples of the dolphin are kept for feeding the calves. The slit is also located closer to the tail stock of the dolphin.

The other way to determine the sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach their belly, is to look at their mellon, or head. The males tend to have a fatter, rounder mellon, while the females are more sleek and streamlined.


Q2) How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex?

A2) There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex.

Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.

Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.

Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active.


Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?

A3) Accept, if possible! I will go through the steps involved with males and females...

The Male:

When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.)

WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward....

A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in a accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.

The Female:

Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.

Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalization.

Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, they have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.

One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one-night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.


Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any?

A4) I have had no experiences with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD's) with dolphins, so I couldn't rightfully say. I do know, however, that you can pass the Flu between you, along with other respiratory problems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezed on me once. It cleared up after a week or so.) You can also pass some skin irritations on to them, if you handle them with chaffed or broken skin. Just like with a human, it is best to BE CLEAN when you handle a dolphin. If you have cuts on your hands, avoid touching them unless you wash with a Betadine surgical scrub prior to handling. This is available from most Veterinary and Surgical suppliers. If you have some disease of some sort, avoid mating, for the dolphins sake. This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law's the law....)


Q5) Is their any way I can invite a dolphin to be masturbated?

A5) Well, yes. If they are hanging around, but not looking particularly excited, but you are, you can invite them with this way...

Male and Female dolphins can be invited by rolling them on their sides, again, but instead of going straight to the genital slit, rub along their bellies, between their pectoral fins, along the navel, and every once in a while, over the genital slit. If they are responsive, they will show the signs of excitement as described earlier, and you can proceed as usual. If, however, they are not responsive, they will swim away, or turn back upright. DO NOT force the issue with a dolphin! Trying to restrain them will only break their trust in you, and could cause you serious injury. Pat them, stroke them and talk to them lovingly, but do not try anything else. It is best, anyway, to let the dolphin tell you when they are ready. It is far more pleasant, and more fulfilling anyway. And more special.


Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?

A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc... some may have external enclosures, which may be accessible, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

Well, I hope this is of use to whoever is interested. One final note. You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it.


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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: April 11, 2004, 11:32:00 PM »
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On 2004-04-11 20:10:00, Anonymous wrote:

"This shit was funny the first 100 times, gets really old after a while. If you are looking for laughs try knock knock jokes.  The whole Father Cassian, Dr. Miller Newton crap is more worn out than Morli is."


Right you are, Straightling! These stupid druggies need to get a life instead of getting cheap thrills for vacuous minds by masquerading as me.  I can tell by the stunning display of Awareness that you have shown us that you are ready for Second Phase!  Coming Home!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Newt's kids??
« on: April 11, 2004, 02:43:00 PM »
My kids have been doing great ever since Seven Stepping Straight, Inc., unlike you druggies who choose not to work your programs!  It's not too late for you, though--there's plenty of blue chairs at the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Opiod_Morphina a question
« on: April 11, 2004, 02:40:00 PM »
Opiod Morphina just needs a little time in the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight,Inc. v2.0!  Then we'll see how his druggie ass feels about his methadone crutch!  No drugs for you in my Program, hophead!  We'll get you Straight and you will like it.  Pretty soon you'll be posting Steps and MIs instead of those trite lyrics from those druggie bands that you are so fond of.  You'll be singing Straight songs with gusto and glee.  Love ya!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Pay attention
« on: April 11, 2004, 02:35:00 PM »
The only thing you druggies need to spend any of your drug-addled attention span on is the Steps that will be posted on the wall of the Group Room of the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0!  Now that I'm a priest, I've been ordained by God Himself to round up you druggies and get you Straight! Love ya!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / I just
« on: April 11, 2004, 02:32:00 PM »
I see you chemically dependent druggies can't abstain from your wretched little vices, even for Easter.  This just proves how much you needed Straight, Inc. back in the 80s and how badly you need the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0!  See you on front row in time for Basics Rap, Druggies!

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Straight, Inc. and Derivatives / Happy Easter Druggies
« on: April 11, 2004, 02:27:00 PM »
I wanted to take some time to help you godless druggies reflect on the true meaning of Easter--getting Straight.  As Our Lord said in Phillipians 9:17, "Only the STRAIGHT and upright shall recieve My blessing", and again in Galatians 3:22 He reminds us, "He that groups together and follows My steps is called wise by the angels".  This is evidence from the WORD OF GOD that I was ordained by Him to shepherd you through the valley of druggie temptation by directing Straight, Inc.  Only by working the Steps in the new, improved, all-ages, faith-based Straight, Inc. v2.0 will you be following the will of God.  He has revealed to me His plans for you, and those plans include graduating from Straight, Inc. v2.0!  It's Straight to Heaven or straight to Hell, Druggie!  What's it going to be?

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