Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Last week I spoke to NWA and spent an hour on the phone with them.  Only after many questions did it become apparent that he wouldn't be able to leave w/o supervision or rarely be visited.  They even said he could graduate from high school in less time than a year but HE would want to stay longer to finish the emot. growth program because by that point they don't want to leave because they are so attached to everybody and they love it so much and they see how much it has helped.  I was so shocked by the whole thing because there is no mention of any of that on the web site or the info they mail out.  It was presented as a program that filled a special niche for 17 and 18 year olds that have been side-tracked and now want to do an intensive year to finish high school while getting therapeutic support for emotional issues while living in a gorgeous part of the country.  Sounded great til I dug further in my questions.  It wasn't volunteered up front at all and they said, "It's not a prison, they like it".  I met w/ his home therapist who is a licenced Ph.D. Psychologist.  I described my conversation.  He said even ignoring my emotional recitation, he could tell it was the opposite of what my son needed.  He felt comfortable with Nature/the Wilderness being the dealer of consequences but he got the "willies" from people having that kind of control and opportunity for indoctrination behind closed doors for that long.

I have read so much on so many different forums and spoken to so many parents, therapists and my ed.con. that it's becoming a blur i.e. "confused".    But Summit Prep. was rec. by a parent who says they have liberal visiting policy and they "can" take their son away for weekends when they like and they have and he says it is fine.  I'm still not necessarily "buying it" but I'm listening.  I really do not understand how a CEDU school like NWA could be personally visited by a reputable ed. con.,  who is pd by me not them, and deemed "good" if it is so widely recognized to be so horrible...If it is their job to assess a place don't they have some idea what is going on?  I'm listening to him too but I'm not nec. doing what he tells me.
As for relatives, there are no nice grannies living in Mayberry to take him in.  One is in a nursing home, the others are dead.  No divorce here so no stepfamilies either.  He truly has burned his bridges w/local schools and most trad. boarding schools (and they are not all on East Coast w/ivy-covered walls).  The local public school is bad news.  We're working on it and we are not going any further w/o his agreement and input.   Stop jumping all over me, I am not sending him to a CEDU school or a 12 mo. Emot. Gro. school that he can't ever leave w/o supervision.  But, I am very curious about this whole business as I never even knew it existed til we got into this recently.  Hence, my presence here.  To learn.  BUT, I have to say you are shooting yourselves in the foot to be so immature in how you "present" your arguments.  Of course, you are "impassioned" and obviously totally freaked out by the abuse, etc.  But, when you resort to yelling and cursing, mockery, sarcasm, etc are you really accomplishing anything?  You sound like idiots.  Who wants to take you seriously when you talk and act like that?  I'm listening but it is really hard to get  past all that.  By the way,  I am no right wing Christian fundamentalist.  Ok?  talk, don't yell...I can hear you better.

I'm a mother with a 17 yr son (18 in August).  He will be "graduating" from Wilderness in Utah in 2 weeks.  We still don't have a school for him to go to!  His therapist says he has improved so much and he thinks to continue  improving that he needs to be in 12mo. emot.growth school.  I have a school consultant.  We were steered to NWA because it fit his niche agewise and needing to graduate in 2005, etc.  Only after talking to them for half hour did we finally get it that he wasn't leaving their sides until he was done.  We can only visit on campus, every 3mos or so and if he's good eventually he could leave campus with us.  She said  kids don't want to leave even when 18 because they are so happy there.  Really worries me a lot.  Then we were told about Summit Preparatory School in Montana.  Apparently family can visit more often and more flexible.  Does anybody have any experience with this school?