Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on May 15, 2005, 01:55:00 PM
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Am I the only one, or do you guys think all of us who were in Straight or KIDS or some similar confrontational program have to invest a lot of energy consciously supressing/repressing memories of things you saw and heard there that make you get upset?
Funny that my parents wouldn't let me watch a PG movie back then, but then they exposed me to far worse violence at Straight.
Anyway, I find it a constant battle. I have a pretty good life and a family now who really loves me, but I'm always haunted. The kids see me cry sometimes when I'm alone, and when they ask, I have to make up something silly so that they don't have to know the truth.
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I didn't think about the Straight shit AT ALL when I was doing the junk....you know, the skag, the bad momma, the boy, Heaven, Hell, bodybag....that's the way to forget about it.....
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[ This Message was edited by: Ex5k on 2005-06-14 14:12 ]
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you are not crazy, girl. ::heart::
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MOVE ON. You are letting them have free rent in your mind.
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"move on", in capital letters. now that there is some premium healing for you.
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bump :em:
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bumpidy bump bump :wave:
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bump bump bump :wave:
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The truth HURTS.
:skull:
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It helped me to write about it. Things are seen in a fresh new light and have a tendency to stay on the page instead of crawling to the back of your mind waiting to ambush you when you are most vulnerable.
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I never even think about straight. It sucked but was no where near the low point of my life..
It was fucked up but ...I dunno just doesnt seem like that big a deal anymore..
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On 2005-06-16 18:45:00, linchpin wrote:
"I never even think about straight. It sucked but was no where near the low point of my life..
It was fucked up but ...I dunno just doesnt seem like that big a deal anymore..
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I am with you on this one linchpin. For many years directly after the seed I was angry about it. Then about 7 years ago when we started this stuff on the internet I thought about it often and went thu some emotional ups and downs as I dealt with the memories and the realities of what happened.
Nowadays it just seems like ancient history, something negative that happened to me a long time ago..a string of unfortunate events that, mixed with the good stuff..equal out to a pretty damn good life.
The modern day programs are another matter. Some of them really piss me off..like this christian Straight for gays as an example...
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when God sent you to us
we loved you from the start
you were just a bit of sunshine
from heaven to our hearts
not just another baby
cause since the world began
God had something special
For you in His plan
That's why you're someone special
You're the only one your kind
God gave you a body
and a bright healthy mind
He had a special purpose
that he wanted you to find
so he made you someone special
you'er the only one your kind...
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On 2005-06-16 18:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
" when God sent you to us
we loved you from the start
you were just a bit of sunshine
from heaven to our hearts
not just another baby
cause since the world began
God had something special
For you in His plan
That's why you're someone special
You're the only one your kind
God gave you a body
and a bright healthy mind
He had a special purpose
that he wanted you to find
so he made you someone special
you'er the only one your kind..."
Oh fuck you...
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On 2005-06-16 18:48:00, GregFL wrote:
"
On 2005-06-16 18:45:00, linchpin wrote:
"I never even think about straight. It sucked but was no where near the low point of my life..
It was fucked up but ...I dunno just doesnt seem like that big a deal anymore..
"
I am with you on this one linchpin. For many years directly after the seed I was angry about it. Then about 7 years ago when we started this stuff on the internet I thought about it often and went thu some emotional ups and downs as I dealt with the memories and the realities of what happened.
Nowadays it just seems like ancient history, something negative that happened to me a long time ago..a string of unfortunate events that, mixed with the good stuff..equal out to a pretty damn good life.
The modern day programs are another matter. Some of them really piss me off..like this christian Straight for gays as an example...
"
I agree.
But fighting off heroin relapse takes all my energy these days..
Since coming off methadone I dont feel like a human ...and Im way past acute withdrawals.
I can go years without doing opiates and still it takes over my mind..
I find myself driving towards the barrio and fucking have to like fight myself ...
I did shoot some dillauted a few weeks back and blammo I felt sane again..
Same with Hydrocodone..eat 5 or 9 and blammo Im happy and sane.
Straight is but a distant memory..Hell prison wasnt too bad either.
Guess Im gonna feel like shit all my life.
But Im full time employed for first time in years
and getting new place with Groovy here..
Just not willing to throw it all in the shitter, ya know?
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Good luck my man.
I can't profess to know how you feel because I haven't walked in your shoes, but I do wish you happiness and sucess..whatever that means to you.
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Damnd straight, VR! I could go on and on about what I've read and heard about opiates, how they work, how to get off of them and all the rest. But I'll never walk a mile in your shoes. No one can. Not even the opiate addict next to you (figuratively, of course... I don't mean groovy) Nobody can decide for you how best to handle yourself. We each have to do that ourselves.
A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special
--Nelson Mandela