Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: confuzdmom on April 27, 2005, 12:52:00 AM
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Mk, Im at my wits end&need help. 17yr old daughter-expelled from school,have tried "joke"drug treatment centers here locally.She using pot,coke,meth&possibly heroin.Her doc wants to send her to khk in milford.(before the judge sends her there,2nd arrest)Found this site..hmm.I dont believe in coincidences.Im freakin, as my child is drowning&she wont take the lifejackets we've been throwing to her.We have to go to khk(hubby&me)2morro.Im scared.Ive printed out the isac stuff& want khk to address these issues.Hubby says everyone is just disgruntled. What should I do?
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Most other responses in the other thread. But one other thing, if you don't mind. Who is this doctor? I'd like to find out 1) if he/she has a habit of sending kids to KHK and 2) how in the world they justify it!
There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is
proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in
everlasting ignorance- that principle is contempt prior to investigation.
--Herbert Spencer
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"She" is a social worker that we(daughter & occasionally her dad & I) see on a weekly basis(under a psychiatrist that we see once a month for a half hr))here in cincy.They feel like its a last resort for her.Dont know if they refer ppl there often, but Ill find out. No other in/outptient programs around.Tomorrow will be interesting.Must sleep. Havent had much of that lately.
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On 2005-04-26 22:17:00, confuzdmom wrote:
""She" is a social worker that we(daughter & occasionally her dad & I) see on a weekly basis(under a psychiatrist that we see once a month for a half hr))here in cincy.They feel like its a last resort for her.Dont know if they refer ppl there often, but Ill find out. No other in/outptient programs around.Tomorrow will be interesting.Must sleep. Havent had much of that lately. "
If you send your kid to KIDS, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
They've been run out of other states and recently failed 38 items on Ohio's "checklist." This is an ABUSIVE modality and will hurt your child. DO NOT BE BULLIED.
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Ok, how about a name? I know there's at least one shrink in the Cinci area who used to refer ppl to both KHK and SAFE, Orlando. If we can get some factual information to the people who are doing that then either they will quit doing that or we can put the word out on them.
No laws, however stringent, can make the idle industrious, the thriftless provident, or the drunken sober
--Samuel Stiles
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I dont feel comfortable naming names yet.I wont be bullied by them.Knowledge is power & Im gaining more of both from forums like this.Been on phone all morning.Very interesting conversation with county court system re khk. I dont this is not an option for my family.But Im going w hubby to appt & bringing up these issues.Im curious to see their response.
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I meant an option.I dont think this is an option for my family.
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On 2005-04-27 08:02:00, confuzdmom wrote:
"Very interesting conversation with county court system re khk."
Please tell us about this! When Straight, Inc., was open under the name of Straight, many judges and cops, as well as the DHS in Florida were pro-Straight. I would very much like to know what the climate is like in Ohio right now.
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I was right where you are at about a year ago - different substances though - mainly alcohol and RX drugs. It seems like you really care about your daughter and it seems like she really needs help if she is using all of those drugs. First and foremost she needs to be detoxed - which is like going through hell. These teen residential facilities do not do a good job of this. She needs to be in a reputable drug rehab center for about one month. This needs to be a place where you can visit daily if you choose, make private phone calls in and out.
You will all go through Hell until she fully detoxes and withdraws from the drugs. You can't cure her. Only she can do this and she must want to. She needs expert counseling. I'd suggest a mental health hospital. In my area of California there's Del Amo and Vista Del Mar and UCLA - they all take youth and have the medical expertise to deal with all aspects of rehab.
Best Wishes to you - I know this is not eacy. Be very carefull and don't send your daughter to a place that is just out to make money off of you. Do not send your daughter to a place where they limit parent/child contact. I know you don't have a lot of time - but don't rush in. If you live in a large metropolis you shouldn't have too difficult of a time finding a local mental health/drug rehab facility. If it is not open to daily visits and communication - then let the facility know that you will not send her there unless you can see her and talk to her at least daily. More people need to let these youth program know what their requirements are. Say no to any program that deprives you of contact - this is a good rule of thumb to follow.
Take CareNext the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception."
Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, 1916, Ch.9
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Forget KHKs.
But heres some links that might help get your girl off the crank:
http://www.escapemeth.com/tweaked.htm (http://www.escapemeth.com/tweaked.htm)
http://www.mappsd.org/Meth%20Mouth.htm (http://www.mappsd.org/Meth%20Mouth.htm)
http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/drug_us ... _clues.htm (http://www.dentalgentlecare.com/drug_use_&_oral_clues.htm)
http://www.showmenews.com/2005/Feb/20050206News015.asp (http://www.showmenews.com/2005/Feb/20050206News015.asp)
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" HELP Doc wants 2 send kid to KHK"
If you are too fucking lazy to even spell words out..in a thread directed at helping your kid..that may point to the base of the problem.
You sound like a fourteen year old in a chat room..
Congratulations you failed as a parent. No wonder your fucking kids on dope.
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On 2005-04-27 10:41:00, cherish wisdom wrote:
"I was right where you are at about a year ago - different substances though - mainly alcohol and RX drugs. It seems like you really care about your daughter and it seems like she really needs help if she is using all of those drugs. First and foremost she needs to be detoxed - which is like going through hell. These teen residential facilities do not do a good job of this. She needs to be in a reputable drug rehab center for about one month. This needs to be a place where you can visit daily if you choose, make private phone calls in and out.
You will all go through Hell until she fully detoxes and withdraws from the drugs. You can't cure her. Only she can do this and she must want to. She needs expert counseling. I'd suggest a mental health hospital. In my area of California there's Del Amo and Vista Del Mar and UCLA - they all take youth and have the medical expertise to deal with all aspects of rehab.
Best Wishes to you - I know this is not eacy. Be very carefull and don't send your daughter to a place that is just out to make money off of you. Do not send your daughter to a place where they limit parent/child contact. I know you don't have a lot of time - but don't rush in. If you live in a large metropolis you shouldn't have too difficult of a time finding a local mental health/drug rehab facility. If it is not open to daily visits and communication - then let the facility know that you will not send her there unless you can see her and talk to her at least daily. More people need to let these youth program know what their requirements are. Say no to any program that deprives you of contact - this is a good rule of thumb to follow.
Take CareNext the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception."
Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, 1916, Ch.9
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Detox? Oh fucking pleaese ...I seriously doubt your 14 year old is using to the point of needing a "detox that will be like hell"
As someone who has detoxed from methadone and heroin serveral times I take offense to this..
Popping a few pills and drinking mommys vodka hardly constitutes "addiction" ( I got 100 bucks that says she got the pills and booze from YOU)
Do you not recognize puberty when you see it?
Too bad your kid didnt come with instructions because you obviously are clueless.
Jesus christ whats wrong with you fucking people?
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"No wonder your fucking kids on dope."
Let me spell this out for you...FUCK YOU.And it should be spelled kid's, not kids.
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Thank you for your reply. I went to the khk facility this afternoon with my husband.It was interesting to say the least.The "intake" coordinator was just as cute as can be. I asked her age(25,has worked there 1 year)and if she was a "graduate" (no).I did not bring the straight subject at all in the beginning.We were allowed to have a "one on one" 20 minute "private"(?) meeting with a second phaser.Also, as cute as a button. I reviewed my list of questions for the "phaser", and her answers were pretty predictable.I found myself correcting her when she was referring to herself as a loser, etc. I asked her if she hed felt humiliated at all, or if she had to admit to things she would have rather kept private. She said no. And when asked if she had ever witnessed/heard of kids cutting on themselves,answer again, no.Religion crammed down their throats, no, etc etc etc.When she was leaving the room,when the intake girl came back, she kinda gave a little air punch&said "I LOVE IT HERE!! That was overkill for me. Then came the "tour".Joke of a tour..I dont give a shit where Suzie does insurance billing.I wanted to see whe meeting rooms, although we did see the bathroom. Then we were led back to the intake room to see if we had any final questions. I pulled out my papers & fired away. Straight?"Oh no, we're not affiliated with them, but yes, we did buy the building, yes, we follow the same 7 rules, parent rules, phase rules,no contact rules,isolation rules, but we're not affiliated with Straight".Ok, then how do you differ from them..."They were a little rougher" What is the required reading for "phasers"&parents.."The Big Book". Well, who wrote "The Big Book"? "Not sure, I'll check on that".What happens if a phaser becomes ill or violent, or misbehaves?"We intervene & use a time out room" How do you get them to the time out room"Im not sure" We were told if we werent sure this was the right program for our daughter, we could try it out for a 7 day assessment period.What percentage of 7 day assessment kids are recommended for the program in its entirety?"95%" Of course.Maybe it works for a few kids, but its not an option for our family.Thanks again for the info. BTW..we're also going to switch therapists.
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Courts were not fond of KHK. Advised against it.
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On 2005-04-27 14:18:00, confuzdmom wrote:
"Thank you for your reply. I went to the khk facility this afternoon with my husband.It was interesting to say the least.The "intake" coordinator was just as cute as can be. I asked her age(25,has worked there 1 year)and if she was a "graduate" (no).I did not bring the straight subject at all in the beginning.We were allowed to have a "one on one" 20 minute "private"(?) meeting with a second phaser.Also, as cute as a button. I reviewed my list of questions for the "phaser", and her answers were pretty predictable.I found myself correcting her when she was referring to herself as a loser, etc. I asked her if she hed felt humiliated at all, or if she had to admit to things she would have rather kept private. She said no. And when asked if she had ever witnessed/heard of kids cutting on themselves,answer again, no.Religion crammed down their throats, no, etc etc etc.When she was leaving the room,when the intake girl came back, she kinda gave a little air punch&said "I LOVE IT HERE!! That was overkill for me. Then came the "tour".Joke of a tour..I dont give a shit where Suzie does insurance billing.I wanted to see whe meeting rooms, although we did see the bathroom. Then we were led back to the intake room to see if we had any final questions. I pulled out my papers & fired away. Straight?"Oh no, we're not affiliated with them, but yes, we did buy the building, yes, we follow the same 7 rules, parent rules, phase rules,no contact rules,isolation rules, but we're not affiliated with Straight".Ok, then how do you differ from them..."They were a little rougher" What is the required reading for "phasers"&parents.."The Big Book". Well, who wrote "The Big Book"? "Not sure, I'll check on that".What happens if a phaser becomes ill or violent, or misbehaves?"We intervene & use a time out room" How do you get them to the time out room"Im not sure" We were told if we werent sure this was the right program for our daughter, we could try it out for a 7 day assessment period.What percentage of 7 day assessment kids are recommended for the program in its entirety?"95%" Of course.Maybe it works for a few kids, but its not an option for our family.Thanks again for the info. BTW..we're also going to switch therapists."
....and there are those that say this site doesn't do any good. :nworthy: :nworthy: This has made my day! I LOVE to see a free thinking parent. I wish you the best with your child. Please let us know how you guys are doing.
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Dear Confused: WAY TO GO! It's great to see parents ask the pointed questions and then say no to their phases and crap. If more people did this then things would change. Remember - the rule of thumb - if they do not allow parent/child contact and freedom of communication by phone and mail -then chances are the program is abusive. Also - always ask to see the "time out rooms." Is it a humane looking place - for instance it should have a comfortable place to lay down and sit. It should be close to the staff station. It should have a bathroom nearby. Ask to see it - walk in it, smell it. If it looks like a "punishment cell" rather than a "time out cell" - it probably is. Isolation is a form of torture and should only be used in extreme situations and for as short of a time as possible. Ask them also the longest a child has been left in the "time out" room. Do not take a vague reply as an answere.
Also -- if you decide to use a facility that you find acceptable to YOUR STANDARDS - remember to cross out anything and everything you do not agree with on the contract.
For instance if there is a restraint agreement - for physical and chemical restaints - be sure to write the following on this form: This facility DOES NOT HAVE OUR CONSENT TO USE PHYSICAL or CHEMICAL RESTRAINTS UNDER ANY SITUATION. IF THIS IS MEDICALLY NECESSARY - PARENTS MUST BE CALLED and MUST AGREE TO any intervention that involves any type of restaint.
Chemical restraints are very dangerous for recovering drug and alcohol abusers - it throws them off the wagon - so to speak. Do not allow this.
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Something to remember is that not all parents who consider sending their children to these facilities are pure evil, and I'd be surprised if the majority of them were. Just woefully misguided and twisted into believing a line of rubbish without thinking of the unintended consequences and how extreme things can get. (It's not to say that it doesn't happen though)
Someone who uses abbreviations and acronyms isn't necessarily proof that they're a terrible parent, and even calling people on that who are is just going to insult them. While it may feel gratifying it's not the best way to convey your message and it's not going to do any good.
Anyway, Confused, I'm glad to see that you've taken the time to study both sides of this issue. You seem like someone who really cares about the safety of your daughter and I wish the both of you the best of luck.
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On 2005-04-27 14:18:00, confuzdmom wrote:
"Thank you for your reply. I went to the khk facility this afternoon with my husband.It was interesting to say the least.The "intake" coordinator was just as cute as can be. I asked her age(25,has worked there 1 year)and if she was a "graduate" (no).I did not bring the straight subject at all in the beginning.We were allowed to have a "one on one" 20 minute "private"(?) meeting with a second phaser.Also, as cute as a button. I reviewed my list of questions for the "phaser", and her answers were pretty predictable.I found myself correcting her when she was referring to herself as a loser, etc. I asked her if she hed felt humiliated at all, or if she had to admit to things she would have rather kept private. She said no. And when asked if she had ever witnessed/heard of kids cutting on themselves,answer again, no.Religion crammed down their throats, no, etc etc etc.When she was leaving the room,when the intake girl came back, she kinda gave a little air punch&said "I LOVE IT HERE!! That was overkill for me. Then came the "tour".Joke of a tour..I dont give a shit where Suzie does insurance billing.I wanted to see whe meeting rooms, although we did see the bathroom. Then we were led back to the intake room to see if we had any final questions. I pulled out my papers & fired away. Straight?"Oh no, we're not affiliated with them, but yes, we did buy the building, yes, we follow the same 7 rules, parent rules, phase rules,no contact rules,isolation rules, but we're not affiliated with Straight".Ok, then how do you differ from them..."They were a little rougher" What is the required reading for "phasers"&parents.."The Big Book". Well, who wrote "The Big Book"? "Not sure, I'll check on that".What happens if a phaser becomes ill or violent, or misbehaves?"We intervene & use a time out room" How do you get them to the time out room"Im not sure" We were told if we werent sure this was the right program for our daughter, we could try it out for a 7 day assessment period.What percentage of 7 day assessment kids are recommended for the program in its entirety?"95%" Of course.Maybe it works for a few kids, but its not an option for our family.Thanks again for the info. BTW..we're also going to switch therapists."
Way to go. :nworthy: :wave: :grin: Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy
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I am so proud of you. What you made an educated decision and I can't thank you enough. You are the reason Ginger works so hard at this website, and why so many of us, years later, are still involved in the cause. Good luck in all you do , and best of luck and kindness extended to your daughter, as well.
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To fka- The juvenile resources in Hamilton County (cincinnati)do not refer people to KHK. I dont know if they did in the past.Also, our insurance company(anthem/magellan behavior) does not recognise khk as an "accredited" facility. Its a sad state of affairs when it's so difficult to get your child help, esp when there are underlying issues(depression,etc).But it's even sadder when trusted medical professionals recommend something that could be damaging to a childs soul.Maybe khk isnt "as rough" as its predecessor, but Im not willing to take that chance.Thanks again for everyones insight.
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Will you tell your therapist what you discovered about KHK? I think that could help with this situation, to at least bring something positive to a potentially bad situation. Maybe this person is truly unaware...at the very least they will learn that some people do not like this approach, something a lot of program people tend to forget.
It's still an inspiring story what you said during your interview at KHK.
:tup: :tup: :tup:
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I sent her an email explaining what happened at our visit & how we feel about it& included a link to this site, isaccorp,and a few others.
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confuzdmom - CONGRATS! :grin:
People like you help undermine these atrocious facilities! Keep up the good work. The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women's emancipation.
--Elizabeth Cady-Stanton