Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: LibertyBelle on February 18, 2005, 01:53:00 AM
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Baby powder makes me cringe to this day. Why, you ask? Because it was at the crux of my first fall from grace (that would be 3rd phase). It seems that I failed (whilst managing the morning routine of 3 newcomers by myself before school)to rub the baby powder into my body to the satisfaction of one of said newcomers. For this it seems I was "glamourizing my druggie past."
I, of course, had no idea what would transpire while I was at school. School, by the way, was really great because I went to my first year of high school with all of my "druggie buddies." It was a really small school so there was nowhere to hide. Everybody thought I was completely crazy because I was pulled out of school only to return a mute with a terrible haircut who wore no make-up but did wear the most horrific glasses ever made. And the clothes! Oh God. The point, my friends, is that some poorly rubbed in baby powder wouldn't have even begun to solve my most minor of problems.
But, boy I sure knew that something had gone down when I got back to "the building". (Isn't that what we called it?) I could feel it from every person who looked at me. The "man, are you fucked" energy just radiated off of them all. I spent hours trying to figure out what I'd done. That snake of impending doom coiling from the pit of my stomach up through my throat. I really had no idea. There was no place for the truth...but man they sure talked a hell of a lot about honesty. I discovered from a rather red-faced 5th phase guy whose spittle I found distracting that I'd been "glamourizing my druggie past." The Verdict: Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect a damn thing. Go directly back to 1st phase.
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Did you ever figure out what was supposed to be so glamourous about having baby powder showing?
sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
--H. L. Mencken, American publisher
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No. But isn't that how it was? No logic whatsoever. You couldn't possibly forsee what would bring you down. Funny that this was the first memory I've explored. I don't think I can handle any of the really bad stuff. My 4th phase fall was even better. My host sister accused me of trying to get high on birth control pills. How ridiculous! No fact checking process in Straight though. The wilder the accusations the better. Go directly to 1st phase.
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No fact checking process in Straight though. The wilder the accusations the better. Go directly to 1st phase. "
This is so true. After about a year and a half I finally made it to 3rd phase and back to my druggie high school (what a treat "I can't talk to you!") After just a week of getting there late everyday, not being able to do any homework b/c I was up all night checking MIs, having the teachers asking if everything was ok at home, this asshole stands me up after school in group and says he found pot in my dad's car. They put me on a set back for 7 days after which time they realized it was just a bunch of lawn grass. So then they were like, "ok, back to school for you". My teachers were like, where the fuck have you been for a week, where's your homework, etc. Trying to function at all on the outside while being at straight was a fucking joke.
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On 2005-02-18 04:25:00, shady grove wrote:
Trying to function at all on the outside while being at straight was a fucking joke."
Trying to function on the outside while being a teenage druggie was even more of a joke! Where's your appreciation for the gift of awareness that we gave you? You'd be dead of a drug overdose, drooling your life away in some mental ward, rotting in jail, or trading sexual favors to complete strangers for a few tokes of cheap, Mexican weed if we hadn't intervened! You certainly did not care about attending school before you came in to Straight, yet somehow you look back on your past as if you were some kind of model teenager---that's the real joke. We were just giving you the Tough Love that you needed, and apparently, you could still use a dose of it!
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We should make up a game of Straight modeled after monopoly and Life.
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Sadly there were many vindictive newcomers that more than willingly made up lies about their oldcomers in the hopes of making 2nd phase faster.
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Regarding the baby powder ordeal, that reminds me of what I got harrassed and screamed at for over the first 2-3 months I was in there. My mother told them that I had a bottle of liquid paper (that my dad gave me because he always had an abundant supply of office supplies from his work) and that I had scratched the warning label out. This was all the proof they needed that I was addicted to inhaling liquid paper. I got stood up day after day after day over this one thing...needless to say I had never inhaled liquid paper and scratching out the warning label was just a mindless thing I did while talking on the phone one night. I still remember doing that too. I started to kind of crack up over this, eventually. I decided to just admit that I did it, and I stood up and it came out all wrong, sarcastically. I was mortified with myself but still I like the fact that I didn't give in. UGGG these are horrible memories.
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//But isn't that how it was? No logic whatsoever. You couldn't possibly forsee what would bring you down.//
This is intentional. It helps create the stress needed to snap your mind so they can successfully indoctrinate you.
If there was any rationality to it, you would be able to escape the stress by learning if I avoid doing "this", then I can avoid "that".
If there is no way to know what will provoke the consequence, you can't predict or avoid it. This all by itself is stressful; even if you seldom suffer the feared consequence.
Druggie past. . .
I myself don't glamorize it; but I can be very nostalgic about it. The 70's - they were the good ole days.
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"i have a doubt about it"
now i get it, thanks to everyone's posts. it means "i have no idea if i will get stood up and taken down for this." it made me delusional. i thought the fumes from rubbing alcohol could get to me, which makes no sense, but Straight made no sense.
there is an informative paper from the CIA to the FBI called A Report on Communist Brainwashing. it mentions what the Anonymous poster is saying about the irrationality being intentional. other things in that paper explained things about Straight as well. i think there is a link on the isaccorp.org site or else thestraights.com.
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[ This Message was edited by: fka on 2005-06-01 20:50 ]
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"I have a doubt about...."
Ohmigod! I'd completely forgotten that phrase. What other little "pat" straight sayings could I be forgetting?
I'd really love to remember more about that Girls Side/Guys Side Song that always rand in OMR if anyone remembers the words.
NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA
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On 2005-02-18 06:25:00, Dr. Fucktard wrote:
"
On 2005-02-18 04:25:00, shady grove wrote:
Trying to function at all on the outside while being at straight was a fucking joke."
Trying to function on the outside while being a teenage druggie was even more of a joke! Where's your appreciation for the gift of awareness that we gave you? You'd be dead of a drug overdose, drooling your life away in some mental ward, rotting in jail, or trading sexual favors to complete strangers for a few tokes of cheap, Mexican weed if we hadn't intervened! You certainly did not care about attending school before you came in to Straight, yet somehow you look back on your past as if you were some kind of model teenager---that's the real joke. We were just giving you the Tough Love that you needed, and apparently, you could still use a dose of it! "
LMAO
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Are you talking about, " We are the girls side, the mighty mighty girls side..."
My favorite thing (sarcasm) was when a misbehavior would start "working" and then put in a slew of concerns. For example:
Ok.. I was "overage" and as reasonable and sensible as you could be in there... I had to escort a "misbehavior" across the street to a doctors appointment. The entire trip she kept saying, "Let leave, you wanna leave". I ignored her.. I thought she was doing what was expected of her..."misbehaving". I was overage and could leave whenever the hell I wanted, why would I go anywhere with this child? Anyway, at least a month later I was stood up in a girls rap in the "carpet room". I was asked why I didn't report her for saying that stuff..that it was a rule to report all concerns. OMG. I don't remember the "consequences" for me but I remember being totally overwhelmed with that "trapped" feeling people spoke of. Overwhelmed with, "What the fuck are you talking about this little girl wanted to leave all day everyday, why would this be a big deal and I'm not going anywhere which is why you fucking asked me to escort her across the street which shouldn't have been my job in the first fucking place you fucking idots." SIGH..wow..I am still pissed about this..my gut is all tight.... jeesh.
Ok.. done.
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On 2005-02-18 04:25:00, shady grove wrote:
Trying to function at all on the outside while being at straight was a fucking joke."
I remember one time I was taking my misbehaving newcomer to the building when I had a flat tire on the Interstate. All I could think of is I had to call the building and report that we were going to be late. On the way to the payphone I let go of his belt loop and asked that he not run. I just couldn't stomach the humility of walking up an offramp with my hand on another guys ass ( LOL ).
Needless to say I got my shit blown away because someone saw us and reported us as cop outs.
" Love ya "Nothing is denied to well-directed labor, and nothing is ever to be
attained without it.
--Joshua Reynolds (1723-1792)
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I remember getting stood up and grilled endlessly because my clothes smelled like smoke.
I never smoked, and had been in the program for three months when this happened. LOGIC???? They didn't want to hear logic. When I was allowed to speak, and told them my mother was a 2-pack-a-day smoker, I was told I was a liar.
Go figure.
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Yes, That's it! "...the mighty, mighty Girl's Side." *scoff*
I was just reliving my "setbacks".
On 3rd I accessorized with baby powder. On 4th I tried to get high on a host mom's birth control pills. (I mean, really! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?)
I can't for the life of me remember the purported reason for my 5th phase setback.
Long after I commenced though my mom told me that my 5th phase set back was her fault. My insurance had run out.
She went through all of our savings and lost her husband in order to pay Straight. Even though they were taking a weekly collection at Church, she still couldn't make the payment on time.
They told her that she was going to "ruin my recovery" if she didn't come up with the money. I sat on 1st phase until my mom made that payment.
Classy folks, those Straight Execs.
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::noway:: ::puke::
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On 2005-02-19 19:31:00, LibertyBelle wrote:
"Yes, That's it! "...the mighty, mighty Girl's Side." *scoff*
I was just reliving my "setbacks".
On 3rd I accessorized with baby powder. On 4th I tried to get high on a host mom's birth control pills. (I mean, really! Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?)
I can't for the life of me remember the purported reason for my 5th phase setback.
Long after I commenced though my mom told me that my 5th phase set back was her fault. My insurance had run out.
She went through all of our savings and lost her husband in order to pay Straight. Even though they were taking a weekly collection at Church, she still couldn't make the payment on time.
They told her that she was going to "ruin my recovery" if she didn't come up with the money. I sat on 1st phase until my mom made that payment.
Classy folks, those Straight Execs.
"
Definitely some classy folks. YOU should have been ashamed! Body powder? Oh the horror! Definitely a druggie-tie! :rofl:
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didn't you want to be free? You denied your misbehaver freedom. Overage/staff are vermin.
E&E=escape and evasion (other stuff too)Jason
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I was free. I could theoretically leave when I wanted to. So could she. There was nothing I could have done to stop her short of walking back to the building and telling someone she took off. She didn't want to leave either or she would have. I believe she was from Delaware..so maybe she needed a place to stay ..who knows.
I put in a withdrawal once... an executive talked me out of it. I can't remember his name... blonde.. used to be a phaser I think... Rob something...no, I can't remember..anyway, when I put in my withdrawal I wanted to get high.. I was trying to remember dealers phone numbers etc... I am not exactly sure why I didn't just walk out instead of the formality of a withdrawal... part assimilation part actual fear of dying. I was using hard and heavy when I signed myself in and really wanted my life to change. Although I am not grateful for the atrocities that happened in straight, I am grateful for my time away from my lifestyle and access to drugs. I don't know if I would have stopped using had I not signed myself in there.
Oh well.. all of our experiences where not the same misbehavior. And for the record.. I would never tell you what you "SHOULD" do or "SHOULD" have done..that just doesn't make any sense.
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On 2005-02-18 15:45:00, LibertyBelle wrote:
""I have a doubt about...."
Ohmigod! I'd completely forgotten that phrase. What other little "pat" straight sayings could I be forgetting?
I'd really love to remember more about that Girls Side/Guys Side Song that always rand in OMR if anyone remembers the words.
NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA"
This is what I remember about the song:
Na na na na na (na na na na na), na na na na na na(etc for a long time, alternating back and forth from the girls and guys side)
Girls and guys side, (girls and guys side) we're showing lots of pride (we're showing lots of pride), girls and guys side, we're showing lots of pride.
Sun up to sun down (sun up to sun down), Straight ___??___
Sun up to sun down, Straight __??___
Na na na na na , na na na na na na etc etc ...
There may have been more but I can't remember the rest. I remember singing this always right before I knew I was most likely going to get reamed for something.
[ This Message was edited by: JMA on 2005-02-21 10:53 ]
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Straight is it! The freeist place we ever found!
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Straight is it! The one that never lets us down!
Straight is it! The most successful place around!
Straight is it! Straight is it! Repeat ad naseum.
Complete with a straightening arm jesture everytime you sing the word "straight".
But then, of course, my brain needed a little washing. :grin:
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We used to shout "Straight Is It!!!" a few dozen times after OMR. Well, some of us did. Some of us shouted "Straight Is SHIT!" LOL Even on 5th phase.
Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth.
--Mohandas K. Gandhi
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Fight for your freedom or die(or take a blue chair)
This is why I gotta go back to sunnishitville. Come on, no MBer babes wanna feel the rush? I'm a real softie (medic). 30 days left (i fly free) to you. Hope ya don't mind a few scars...Jason
[ This Message was edited by: misbehaver on 2005-02-22 00:39 ]
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my first day in straight:
two guys had me butt naked in a shower stall telling me to spread my ass cheeks so they could look for weapons of mass destruction
next they took me in another room and asked me if I ever fucked my cat
next the stuck there hands down my pants and lead me quietly into a not so quiet room
next I saw a sea of writhing crazed scared little teenage body's flailing there limbs to get there captures attion/approval
and the fourth phase guys flicking there hands at me and directing me to pay attention and looking like they would rather see me die than be not afraid, then I went to the Venegoni host home where the oldcomers (I'm sure we all know who they are) yelled at me and told me to get out of my fucking pity..I found out that night that this particular host home was reffered to as "aushwitz"
the next day I experienced a pysiological response to all of this trauma..I found that my facial muscles were frozen and that I could not smile or move my mouth...it went away after a few days
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On 2005-02-20 07:14:00, Sophie wrote:
Oh well.. all of our experiences where not the same misbehavior. And for the record.. I would never tell you what you "SHOULD" do or "SHOULD" have done..that just doesn't make any sense.
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You were not free. Power triping. Have you ever given an order knowing your life depends upon it?
All you did was talk shit to scared adults. Jason
edit: sorry if I offended you. BTW, ya need 14.7 psi for a tsunami. Overage phasers should rest in peace; quickly. Jason
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[ This Message was edited by: shady grove on 2005-02-22 07:12 ]
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My apologies to anyone who read my moment of temporary reactionary simple-mindedness. Doing so puts me on level with those I am reacting to. I think it's time to take a break from the fornits. [ This Message was edited by: shady grove on 2005-02-22 07:14 ]
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Post some pics!
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On 2005-02-22 06:32:00, shady grove wrote:
"My apologies to anyone who read my moment of temporary reactionary simple-mindedness. Doing so puts me on level with those I am reacting to. I think it's time to take a break from the fornits. [ This Message was edited by: shady grove on 2005-02-22 07:14 ]"
I think that is the primary curse to overcome as a "Straight Survivor" ya know? I wouldn't worry too much about it. We all have tender buttons at times.
Just be happy that you know the difference. :smile:
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thanks :smile: