Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: anto_gm@msn.com on February 16, 2005, 11:45:00 AM
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I have to make the difficult decision to send my 14 old daughter to either one of these residential school. Does anyone have any info about them? The Cooper Canyon Academy is in central AZ and it's part of the Aspern Education Group; the Academy at Sisters is in Bend, OR.
Thank you very much for any information you can have.
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well, a search on here and the internet does not reveal anything negative. Just be sure to following the warning signs listed below when choosing ANY school:
Warning Signs of Potentially Abusive Facilities:
The facility is not licensed.
Verbal and/or written communication between the child and his parents, siblings, grandparents, etc. is prohibited, restricted, or monitored on any level.
The facility requires that the parents and/or child sign a form releasing the program of liability in the event of injury to the child.
The program requests/demands/recommends that they have legal custody of children.
The program requires that children live in foster or "host" homes instead of allowing them to reside with their parents.
The child or parent or forbidden from discussing the daily happenings at the facility. Often this policy is called "confidentiality."
The child is denied access to a telephone.
Phone calls between children and parents are monitored.
The program uses confrontational therapy.
Parents must fulfill requirements of the facility before being permitted to visit their own children.
The facility is located outside the jurisdiction of the United States.
Children are restrained or otherwise physically prevented from leaving the facility.
The staff includes former students/clients of the facility.
Staff members claim that self-injury or cutting/carving on ones body is normal behavior for a child in treatment.
Parents are not allowed to remain with their child during the entire intake/entry process.
The program inflicts physical punishments on children such as exercising for extended periods of time, bizarre cleaning rituals (ie scrubbing floors with a toothbrush) or food restrictions.
The program uses humiliation to "break them down."
The program forces children to remain in solitary confinement/isolation/time-out for an unspecified amount of time.
Reading materials are prohibited or severely limited.
The facility does not have a clearly visible sign outside the building or descriptions of their location are vague.
The facility claims to modify behavior, yet has no licensed therapists on staff.
A licensed doctor or registered nurse is not present at any time during normal operating hours.
Current clients/students participate in the intake/entry process.
Staff members offer to help parents obtain a court order forcing the child into, or keeping the child in, the facility.
Children are observed while bathing, dressing, or using the toilet on any level of the program.
The facility claims to treat drug abuse, but does not conduct a drug screen prior to entry.
The facility does not allow children to follow their religion of choice.
Staff members must "approve" family members, siblings, friends, or employment.
Children are not afforded an education in accordance with state requirements.
Medication is recommended, prescribed, approved, or dispensed by anyone other than a medical doctor (MD).
Children are denied medications that have been prescribed by an MD.
Staff members, admissions personnel, referrers, etc. make statements indicating that "your child will die without" the program.
Children escort/supervise other children.
Children have to "earn" the "right" to speak during group/therapy sessions.
Children are denied outside activities on any level/phase.
Staff members must approve the withdrawal of children from the facility.
The facility expects total and unquestioned support of parents.
Children on any level/phase are forbidden to speak to other children in the facility.
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Both of these programs are on the watchlist of HEAL (http://www.heal-online.org/childtortureusa.htm (http://www.heal-online.org/childtortureusa.htm)).
Copied from the above URL:
"Copper Canyon Academy: located in Lake Montezuma, AZ is confirmedly an abusive behavior modification program. They use a level-based system similar to Provo Canyon School and the WWASPS programs. They limit contact between parent and child to censored/shared w/ staff written correspondence while on the initial orientation level. This contact is increased to one monthly phone call with staff supervision watching and monitoring all the child says while on the phone. These conditions make it virtually impossible for a child to report any abuse without suffering greater risk of unnecessary and cruel punishment. Please do not send your child to any program that limits your contact with them. If you were abused at Copper Canyon Academy or had your rights violated in anyway (it is against federal law for them to read your incoming or outgoing written correspondence and lawsuits have shown time and again that these institutions are guilty of breaking federal laws by doing this) please contact us and we will post your online testimonial here as a warning to others. To read an online testimonial regarding abuse and violations at this facility as reported by a former employee of Copper Canyon, please click here."
"The Academy at Sisters in Bend, OR is suspected of being an abusive behavior modification facility. According to their website they use ?cognitive restructuring? and ?behavior modification? techniques on their captives. Both of these terms are defined as types of brainwashing. Based on this information and the lack of detail regarding the structure of their program in general makes Academy at Sisters highly suspect. We recommend you do not send your child to this program. If you were abused or had your rights violated by Academy at Sisters, please contact us with your experience so we may post it here as a warning to others."
Read the warning signs, ask the tough questions (such as, "do you censor, monitor, or limit communication between parents and children in any way?", "do you encourage a confrontational approach as part of the therapeutic process?", "are children in the upper levels or more advanced stages of the program made to supervise or instruct other children?", etc), and RESEARCH as much as you can. Good luck.
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thanks anon! i was not aware of that website and it did not come up when i did a search for the two school names.
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Thank you so much for your feedback.
Those schools were supposed to be the best in the nation.
Is there anything good out there???
My daughter really needs serious help...
Thanks.
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That is a really hard question to answer. I guess the main thing to always be aware of, are the things listed on the "watch list" from up above.
I sent my son to a school and after a week, my mother's intuition was telling me something wasn't right so I went to pick him up. My intution turned out to be correct and he had been harmed in the one week he was there. HOwever, had I followed the advice on the watch list above, I would have NEVER sent him there because each thing on the list applied to this school, as does many of them.
I too am in the struggle over finding a "good" school, but have yet to find one I am comfortable with, especially after my son's ordeal.
Just use the watch list above! It is the most important think in your search for a school!
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Needs help?
WHATS THE PROBLEM?
Being vague and general is the WRONG thing to do. These camps claim to fix vague, generic problems, or basically they just say they want any kid that has gullable enough parents to send there.
Also, more than likely your kid wouldnt do well in a program, nor need one! Without specifics nobody can recommend anything.You know, too many weirdos out there. At least with you people I know WHY you are weird!!!
Kady
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Asking help for my daughter:a 14yr old, now in a wildnerness program with drug abuse, defiant behavior, run-away, depressed, with anger problem who blames others for her mistakes.
Placement in TBS has been recommended and can't find a good one...
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They recommend because they want MONEY. It's been said over and over again. They get money for referrals!
Also, depression and anger probs will NOT be treated with a TBS. Wilderness programs dont necessarily have any real therapy anyway. MOST operate by making them basically brownnose and suck up and do as told for a few months go get out so they dont want to go back.
While in the short term it might scare them into obedience it wont treat the ACTUAL PROBLEM.
Get a psychologist to see your kid and make recommendations, and look for programs in town that arent 24/7 and cut you off from your kid.
PUNISHMENT isnt going to fix any problems! If they're using drugs more than likely its a SYMPTOM of another problem. Defiance? Being a teenager. Depression? Symptom of another problem. Anger problem? That also needs actual psychotherapy.
"Blaming others for her mistakes"? Thats just typical program bullshit... our government does it all the time. Its not something you go to a program for.
Get a real therapist and be with your kid instead of shipping her off and thinkling she'll be magically fixed with methods you know nothing about. Ever wonder why you dont?
There arent any.The question before the human race is, whether the God of nature shall govern the world by his own laws, or whether priests and kings shall rule it by fictitious miracles.
--John Adams, U.S. President
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I suggest that you take your daughter to a real, licensed psychologist, so she could be properly evaluated. There could be many, many reasons for these behaviors, and the first step should be defining exactly what the problem is, and where is all that anger coming from, and why.
A real psychologist, not some program quack, could also refer you to treatment options which would be more helpful than those RTC's and TBS's.
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I was not a student at Copper Canyon, but I do know the director of counseling Linda Cathcart and therapist Sequoia Smith. They were both former therapists at Spring Ridge Academy when I was there in 97' and 98'. The programs are almost exactly the same. I was never a patient of either of them, thankfully. The majority of the girls who had Sequoia did not like him. He didn't seem to know what he was doing. I had a big problem with the staff turn over, I had three different therapists while at SRA. I think its hard to start over with a new therapist every few months while you are trying to move up to higher phases. The rules about letters, phone calls, and visits are very strict and I do not recommend a place where they are restricted at all.
I do not believe the "seminars" as they are called are helpful in any way and would never want anyone to have to go through them.
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Thank you everybody for your feedback.
My daughter has actually been in therapy for 2 years...The therapist herself recommended a more drastic intervention. Her use in drugs and alcohol has been escalating in the last months.Unfortunately TBS are considered the only options we have for her safety. Even the wildnerness program, and this is a very good one, apparently is not enough.
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A good article that should be read by any parent who's looking into the TBS option is "Safe Choices for Troubled Teens" (http://www.nospank.net/choices.htm (http://www.nospank.net/choices.htm)).
I don't know the specifics of your daughters condition, of course, but have you and your daughter looked into options such as moving in with a relative, or transferring to a (traditional) boarding school? sometimes, just taking some time and distance away from the situation can really help.
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auto_gm,
Do you have any idea why your daughter is unhappy? People don't seek to alter their consciousness in a reckless way unless they are sad, hopeless, confused, scared, been or being abused or molested, and/or suffering low self image.
What would you guess the underlying issue to be?
How can you help?
You, as her mother, have a better opportunity to help your daughter find peace with herself and the world. Strangers do not have a vested interest, you do.
Even though she may not show it, teens really like to know that their parents are on their side, appreciate when their parents really listen, and when their parents model how to address problems. It provides what most are missing. Hope.
In this case, you could proceed as if she were your best friend. What concerns would you have for a friend in a similar situation? How would you 'help' that friend?
Would you assume that she just woke up one day and decided to abuse? Or might you wonder what caused the change?
Be your daughter's ally. It's your best hope.
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I was put in therapy when I was 9. A good therapist that your daughter will connect with can be a long process and you have to keep trying. The first person I found who I could talk to was a psychiatrist in the first psych hospital I went to when I was 15. I still do not trust my parents because they sent me away.
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why would you not trust your parents? they were only trying to do what they thought was best for you. granted, yes, we have learned over time what the schools are about, but they feed on parent's desperation. they did that to me, they fed on my desperation and i sent my son away. thankfully i realized what the school was REALLY like and pulled him out. he and i are much closer now because of it. he had been placed into a hospital then into residential treatment and swore he would never trust me again...but he was able to recognize that everything i did was only to try to "help" him and not "hurt" him.
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I've tried everything I could to help my daughter. I even quit my job... Nothing worked. Not the love, nor the punishments. Her therapist has been a great help and my daughter opened up with her. That was what helped us to really understand what was going on. What my daughter has been doing lately was very very dangerous. Mixing all kinds of drugs, pills and alcohol and going around at night with friends driving under the influence. I'd ratherlose her trust than lose her forever. Hopefully one day she'll understand. Until then it's my duty as parent to keep her safe.
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if the therapist was such a great help..why not keep goign with that? She didn't get this waw overnight...and the problem wont be solved over night. it takes time.
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Why don't you wait till she is back from the wilderness therapy before making a decision? It may have been enough to push her in the right direction and all you need to do is continue with her current therapist. I have heard of cases where kids have benefited from wilderness therapy only to have had all the good work thrown away by being placed in the TBS that their parents were sold.
The longer term programs are where the money is. They don't want to let the kids home too soon.
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If you have never been sent to one yourself you have no idea what it is like. I will agree that some people have good experiences. The feeling of rejection by your parents is horrible. I had a feeling before I went there that I wasn't going to be able to get out. My mom claims that I never asked which is a crock of crap. The first letter I wrote, she wrote back saying that my therapist said I was doing better this therapist saw me maybe once and left a week later.
One of the hardest parts about these programs is trying to be perfect. You have to make your bed perfectly, clean spotlessly, get all A's and B's in school, and be happy. The first work hour I got was for not taking a shower everyday, which how I was suppose to know that rule was beyond me when it wasn't in the rule book and no one ever told me. This is in no way like the real world. It is total shock to go from being with the same people everyday who talk, act, and dress the same to the outside world where people don't understand what you have been through.
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I don't know how to thank you all... You really gave me a lot of things to think about. I really had no idea.
I'm reconsidering the whole thing and exploring other options, maybe just tradinational boarding schools, with open doors and open minds. My daughter is not ready to come back home yet. She would go back to her old destructive habits.
Thank you everybody again. Your suggestions and thoughts have been invaluable.
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One other thing I would like to add is never bring up money. My parent's did with me. I thought what the hell you are the ones who sent me away and didn't want me at home. Don't blame me for using all of your money. I figured my parents spent over $160,000 in 2 and 1/2 years. Which in my opinion was a waste of 95 - 100% of it.
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Dear auto_gm,
I am a parent of a 16 yr. old girl. She has had some of the issues you spoke of. She has had severe anger issues, defiance, depression, accepted no responsibility for any mistakes, some drug and alcohol use, promiscuious sex, ran away, etc. I beg you, please do not put your daughter in a beh. mod. program!!! I put my daughter in one of the WWASPS programs this past fall. She was there a little over 3 months. It was a nightmare! Do not believe what you are told, as far as how great they are. They only make things much worse. Read some more of these threads on this site, you will find tons of teens, and young adults, who have suffered at these facilities. There have been several deaths. You need help, I understand, but this is not an answer. She will not come out and be "fixed" and turn to you and tell you how much she loves you and thank you for helping her see the light. More than likely, it will be a chasm in your relationship she may never forgive. I don't know anyone who has been to Copper Canyon, but we checked into that facility at one time. It is run on the same premise as the WWASPS programs. If you need people to talk to, I'm sure everyone here will do their best to help you any way they can. Get your daughter a good psychologist, try in-patient therapy, try day therapy at the local adolescent center, try traditional boarding school, military school, etc. My daughter now attends traditional boarding school, and is doing very well. She is happy, making all A's, involved with sports, does community services, and attends church services. Will it work for your daughter? i don't know, but it is worth a try. The school my daughter is in is nicer than any college campus I have been to, but costs less than half of what the beh. mod. programs cost! Hope this has been helpful.
P.S. I am sorry if this sounds critical, but you said your daughter was out running around with kids and driving with them when they were drinking. At 14? I have to honestly say that I feel that is a big mistake. She is much too young to be riding with other teens, and especially at night. 14 is too young for a social life, they are just too immmature to make appropriate decisions. Please rethink this.
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i was a student at copper canyon in 1999-2000 and i have to admit they were the worst years of my life. i encourage you to seek other schools. i know there has been a lot of expansion since i went there but in my experience, it was a bad place. counselors often come and go, students often come and go, and the staff is always changing. it's hard to maintain stability there because of always having to be transition of new staff members and students. friendships are hard to make because you can only talk to people on your own "level", about 10 people. staff members treat students like dirt, and when i was there, a counselor was even fired for smoking pot with a student. this school is a joke.[ This Message was edited by: micalah on 2005-02-25 12:24 ]
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Hey Micalah,
It's Liz Gibson. Nice to know you're still around and kicking.
~Liz
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Hi,
I hope you and your daughter are doing well. It's been several months since you originally posted and I know from experience that every day with an out of control teenager is a heart wrenching roller coaster ride.
My daugher is at CCA and given the alternative of her self-destructive behavior at home, I consider it a blessing. Of course, no parent aspires to send their daughter to a therapeutic boarding school. We would not under normal circumstance wish such a thing on our worst enemy much less our beloved child.
My daughter's immediate problem is drug addiction. I looked into other alternatives such as a second go at inpatient drug treatment but she can and will walk out of most of these facilities.
My expectations for CCA at this point are modest. I would like to keep my daughter away from drugs for a while so she has a chance to grow up a bit without the damaging effects on her teenage brain of methamphetamines, cocaine, alcohol, and the miriad of other drugs that she abuses. CCA provides this opportunity.
I find my daughter's therapist at CCA is well-trained and compassionate. She has been with the program for 2 1/2 years. If she can help my daughter work through some of the underlying pain that is contributing to her chemical dependency that will be a bonus. However, I am not expecting miracles. I expect my daughter will still need lots of help for her chemical dependency after she turns 18 and leaves CCA.
The girls at CCA work hard and have a lot of restrictions on their freedom. It's not fun. Most really hate being there. But at some level many also appreciate the structure because once they are removed from the craziness of their world at home they realize that they were spinning out of control and really hurting themselves.
They do learn some life skills, and most are able to make a lot of progress in high school and get their diploma if they stay long enough. They also make some of the best friends of their lives. Teenagers involved with drugs tend to use and abuse each other. At CCA, the friendships are real and deep and based on real concern for each other.
Keep in mind though, this is a school full of teenage girls, and troubled ones at that. ALOT of drama will go on. God bless the girls and also the staff that have the patience and desire to work with them. Based on my experience with CCA I'm confident that the girls are treated well and the staff cares about them.
I think the bottom line is don't send your daughter to CCA or any other therapeutic boarding school if you can realistically work through the problems another way. But if your daughter's safety is truly at stake, depending on the her issues, CCA can be a literal life saver. I say depending on her issues because I think some girls that have psychiatric conditions may be too mentally fragile for such an environment.
I am a Mom that is sad that I'm not raising my own daugher but thankful that she is safe and getting some treatment.
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As a mom of a child that went to a therapeutic boarding school, I understand.
It is truly the last thing that a parent wants to do, which is to give their child over to strangers. My son is home and doing well now. I am the one who is beating myself up wondering why and how...we sent him away. I am not the narcissistic selfish parent that you all expect.
It was what we thought we needed to do at the time. My guilt is my own, and I will have to live with it.
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This post you just made reads like a damn advertisement or press release.
So, youre either a programmed parent whose trapped in the treatment lingo, or someone trying to sell CCA.
:wstupid: Keep close to Nature's heart... and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.
-- John Muir
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I am not an advertisement or press release agent. I am simply a parent. Perhaps you are speaking to the anon prior to my post - if so, I can tell you that she is not a programmed parent or program spokesperson.
So just hear me - I am a parent with no program agenda. Okay? Just relax.
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On 2005-07-12 17:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hi,
I hope you and your daughter are doing well. It's been several months since you originally posted and I know from experience that every day with an out of control teenager is a heart wrenching roller coaster ride.
My daugher is at CCA and given the alternative of her self-destructive behavior at home, I consider it a blessing. Of course, no parent aspires to send their daughter to a therapeutic boarding school. We would not under normal circumstance wish such a thing on our worst enemy much less our beloved child.
My daughter's immediate problem is drug addiction. I looked into other alternatives such as a second go at inpatient drug treatment but she can and will walk out of most of these facilities.
My expectations for CCA at this point are modest. I would like to keep my daughter away from drugs for a while so she has a chance to grow up a bit without the damaging effects on her teenage brain of methamphetamines, cocaine, alcohol, and the miriad of other drugs that she abuses. CCA provides this opportunity.
I find my daughter's therapist at CCA is well-trained and compassionate. She has been with the program for 2 1/2 years. If she can help my daughter work through some of the underlying pain that is contributing to her chemical dependency that will be a bonus. However, I am not expecting miracles. I expect my daughter will still need lots of help for her chemical dependency after she turns 18 and leaves CCA.
The girls at CCA work hard and have a lot of restrictions on their freedom. It's not fun. Most really hate being there. But at some level many also appreciate the structure because once they are removed from the craziness of their world at home they realize that they were spinning out of control and really hurting themselves.
They do learn some life skills, and most are able to make a lot of progress in high school and get their diploma if they stay long enough. They also make some of the best friends of their lives. Teenagers involved with drugs tend to use and abuse each other. At CCA, the friendships are real and deep and based on real concern for each other.
Keep in mind though, this is a school full of teenage girls, and troubled ones at that. ALOT of drama will go on. God bless the girls and also the staff that have the patience and desire to work with them. Based on my experience with CCA I'm confident that the girls are treated well and the staff cares about them.
I think the bottom line is don't send your daughter to CCA or any other therapeutic boarding school if you can realistically work through the problems another way. But if your daughter's safety is truly at stake, depending on the her issues, CCA can be a literal life saver. I say depending on her issues because I think some girls that have psychiatric conditions may be too mentally fragile for such an environment.
I am a Mom that is sad that I'm not raising my own daugher but thankful that she is safe and getting some treatment.
"
The bottom line is, Don't line is, don't send your children to CCA or anything or "therapeutic boarding school", and that's it.
You say your daughter being at CCA is better than her going through her "self-destructive behaviors". So you prefer that instead of going through some trouble, some tough times, and learn from her experience-- your daughter will be destroyed, abused, hurt so many times and in so many ways, it will likely haunt her for the rest of her life?
What kind of parent are you?
(I'm not even sure you are a parent, though. You sound like you're working for the CCA marketing department, coming over to do some damage control).
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I think the parent doesn't realize that the trauma of being at someplace like CCA does brain damage in and of itself.
It's not as if the child is avoiding brain damage by being there and not taking some illicit drugs while she's there.
She's still taking brain damage, and brain damage of a type that's much harder to overcome than the long-term brain damage from street drugs. Well, except for things like huffing, absinthe, and a few others.
Most street drugs do less brain damage, and in less functionally harmful areas of the brain, than the brain damage from post-traumatic stress disorder.
Many parents just don't know enough about psychiatry to understand that being there and "hating it" is an indication that the experience is doing serious, permanent brain damage to their child.
Even the survivors here who have done the best job of working their recovery from the PTSD still have significant brain damage, they've just learned coping skills to work around some of it. For the portions of the damage that limit their ability to function in life as well as someone without that damage, the more functional survivors have just learned to accept the fact of the damage as something that can't be undone and has to be lived with.
It's tragic that the parents don't understand that they're not preventing brain damage when they send their child to a "hate it" program, they're trading damage to one area of the brain for damage to another. And in many cases the trade is a very bad bargain, as the damage from the program is more crippling than the damage from the drugs would have been.
Timoclea
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Disclaimer: My statements about relative damage are my personal opinion as a person with a bachelors degree in psychology from a really good school who has done a lot of reading to keep up with the neurobiology of psychiatric problems. And as a person who has not only had that knowledge, but has seen a lot of cases of people who have various psychiatric problems and other brain damage problems to have some basis for comparison.
I'm a layman, but I'm an unusually well-educated layman.
Timoclea
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It's Darren Prince, I'd bet. The mormon filth that's in charge of "admissions". All you have to do is show him a fat bank account, and regardless of what kind of help your child needs or doesn't need, he'll gladly let your child in and claim CCA is the solution to all your problems.
I've never known a more money grubbing family in my entire life. If it's last name is Prince, you'd better believe that they are either there to convert you or cheat you.
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You wrote, "what kind of parent are you, anyway". I reply, I am a mother who loves my daughter dearly and would like to see her live to eighteenth birthday.
Unless parents have money to burn, they do not send their children to expensive therapeutic boarding schools if they don't care about them.
If they dont' care about them, they look the other direction while their children are harming themselves, hoping their child will just eventually learn through the school of hard knocks.
I really am not advocating for CCA or TBSs in general. I do not work for them and have many criticisms but I do appreciate the role they play when all other measures fail. I am about as skeptical and analytical a person as they come. I do not consider any TBS a panacea. It is a last resort.
That is why I said "DON'T send your daughter to CCA or any other therapeutic boarding school if you can realistically work through the problems ANOTHER WAY."
I don't know if you have knowledge or experience with chemical dependency. It is not uncommon for kids to die, end up in jail, or experience long term or permanent brain damage, while learning through experience.
Depending on how dangerous your child's behavior is, learning through experience may not be a reasonable option and removing a child from their environment may be necessary. This is a judgement call.
Being a parent is a not easy. I suggest we try to support each other and share our experience rather than criticizing each other.
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A big part of what I'm saying is that CCA seems to have a particularly bad reputation. There appear to be an unusual amount of former attendees who have unusually low opinions of that facility.
Even if my daughter *was* in lethal danger from drug abuse, I don't think that particular facility is one I would trust with my daughter.
Timoclea
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On 2005-07-14 10:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
"You wrote, "what kind of parent are you, anyway". I reply, I am a mother who loves my daughter dearly and would like to see her live to eighteenth birthday.
Unless parents have money to burn, they do not send their children to expensive therapeutic boarding schools if they don't care about them.
If they dont' care about them, they look the other direction while their children are harming themselves, hoping their child will just eventually learn through the school of hard knocks.
I really am not advocating for CCA or TBSs in general. I do not work for them and have many criticisms but I do appreciate the role they play when all other measures fail. I am about as skeptical and analytical a person as they come. I do not consider any TBS a panacea. It is a last resort.
That is why I said "DON'T send your daughter to CCA or any other therapeutic boarding school if you can realistically work through the problems ANOTHER WAY."
I don't know if you have knowledge or experience with chemical dependency. It is not uncommon for kids to die, end up in jail, or experience long term or permanent brain damage, while learning through experience.
Depending on how dangerous your child's behavior is, learning through experience may not be a reasonable option and removing a child from their environment may be necessary. This is a judgement call.
Being a parent is a not easy. I suggest we try to support each other and share our experience rather than criticizing each other.
"
You use all the regular excuses. "She's be dead without the program". "Only good parents send their kids to TBS's". etc, etc.
The truth is, you're too lazy/desperate to work things out on your own. So you paid someone else to do your work for you, while you comfortably ignore the extremely high chance that your daughter will be abused at CCA. Way to go, mom.
Parents who send their kids to TBS's, despite all the evidence and testimonies about the abuse endured by the children incarcerated in these places, are not caring/loving parents. They are simply lazy, careless people who are doing anything in their power to throw the problem at someone else.
You are putting your daughter at risk. A far greater risk than her behaviors put her in. Judging by what former students have to say, it is highly likely that your daughter will be physically and emotionally abused at CCA. But you don't give a damn, of course. As long as you can pay someone else to get that brat out of your hair.
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I have a daughter at CCA, and was starting to feel unsure because I miss her so much.(My daughter has been involved in drugs, promiscuous sex, alcohol, fraud,and has beat me up. The licensed psycho-therapist shes seen while at home believes she has borderline sociopathic tendancies). I know you can talk to the girls there about how they like it and some of the parents are available. But in my mind, if there was any type of abuse they certainly weren't going to point me in the direction of those cases. I decided to try to get in touch with some of the girls who had already graduated through an unbiased source- so I did a school check on myspace ( by the way you have to search it CCA on myspace and then sort through as other schools use those initials also)
Anyway- I wrote a letter to many of the girls, basically asking how there expereince was and if they felt like it made things worse or better.
Overwhelmingly these girls, who have been out of CCA for minimum of 1 year, said they are glad they graduated from CCA. 1 said she now as 2 children and would send her kids with no problems. 2 girls said they didn't think it made a difference on way or the other, and of those 2 one was pulled early.
2 more girls told me that they were pulled, both also said they wished they'd finished the program, and one said she actually begged her parent to let her stay until she graduated. Before I wrote to hem I looked at the myspace groups for CCA and noticed that the only negative remarks are from girls who DID NOT finish the program.
For me this was more important testimonial than any parents, because the parents are only involved from the outside.
I would suggest doing a school alumni search and ask the graduates yourself, with out any interferance from CCA. if you use myspce you'll have to create an account I think.
Good luck to you and your family, my prayers will be with you.
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If you are sending a sociopath to a place like CCA all you will succeed in doing is turning them into a better sociopath.
They will learn how to effectively project false emotions and beliefs, how to lie effectively and how to avoid consequences.
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Anon- you stated:
"I did a school check on my space..."
Then you state:
"If you use my space, you'll have to create an account, I THINK."
This are contradictory statements!
SO, did you, or are did you not actually conduct this little search on MY SPACE?
I doubt it.
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How do you know those emails were really from "girls" who went there? As for "being glad they graduated" sounds like they were happy to get the hell out! I would be careful of testimonials online because they are usually from people who have a vested interest in continuing the programs (like $$$ in their pockets) and you are wrong about all parents; some really do just want to send the "problem" away to get fixed and not be bothered. Also I totally agree that the Post Traumatic Stress is much much worse than drugs. Many kids do more drugs after being inone of those places and some start their "relationship with drugs" after getting out.
As for dying because of drugs: the three main caused cited for teen deaths are: accidents, homicide and suicide; not drug use. And suicide is often a response to the kind of treatment kids receive in these programs.