I tried to post under a member name but the forum does not seem to accept my username, not sure why, so please don't think I am intentionally remaining anonymous, if you would like to email me, please request my email address and I will be happy to give it to you.
When I was 19 my parents opted to place me in AARC. They changed their minds at the last minute, and I am so glad they did. It is struggle enough deprogramming myself from Alcoholics Anonymous, I don't know what would have happened had I had to deprogram from a behavior modification program as well.
My mom felt very uneasy the last couple of days before I was supposed to go. I remember shopping in Winners with her and my dad for generic, non-descript clothing (a necessity for entrance), and she flipped. She told me she loved who I was, just not what I was doing at the time. She called the center when we got home and told them I would not be attending. They told her that she needed to understand the ?severity? of my disease, and that it could be fatal. We were disgusted, and grateful that she had made the decision. I love her for it. We have a strong and loving relationship now, and her and I have made that happen.
I am now 27 years old, and I struggle still. I have come to realize however, that so much of my struggles have been a direct result of my involvement with 12 step programs. I have watched most of my hard partying friends simply grow up into fairly well adjusted, productive adults. They did this without the help of AA. I often wonder if I had never been involved with the 12-step racket, would I have just grown up. Instead I spent 7 years of my life feeling even more different than the people around me. I felt like I didn't fit in out here, or in the rooms. I am only now beginning to realize that my problem was never with alcohol, my problem was with me, my self esteem...and I am working on overcoming this so I don't turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to act out. That is what I do, I use to get attention. It is nothing more, and nothing less than this.
I certainly believe that people do have physical addictions to substances, I also believe they can overcome these addictions themselves. I am not negating that AA, or perhaps even AARC has saved lives...I just question what new life these people gain? I am proud to be a strong woman, with strong ideals, and strong opinions I am not afraid to voice. I feel like AA, and programs like AARC stifles the spirit, and the mind. The kids from AARC I saw in the AA rooms seemed entranced. They seemed to be reciting mantras in the room. Witnessing this is actually what helped me decide to distance myself from AA altogether. I remember having lunch with a graduate of AARC, who was a counselor there. I was appalled when she told me my tattoos (I am heavily tattooed), and my "slang" wasn?t really me. Of course they are me. My tattoos tell stories of where I have been, and my "slang" is who I am. Slang, body art, professions, hobbies can all be testament to a persons individuality. I feel so sad when I think of children going through programs like AARC and being stripped of their individuality. I can't help but think there is a lot of talent and beauty being removed from the world because of AARC.
I applaud those who have left AARC and are struggling to reclaim their identity. I am doing the same thing, and find great comfort in knowing I am not alone (as they say in AA) in breaking free of brainwashing. Sure I struggle, I have good days and bad days. I am me though, for the first time in a long time.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid
of the dark. The real tragedy of life is
when men are afraid of the light.
--Plato
On 2004-12-01 19:35:00, Anonymous wrote:I am now 27 years old, and I struggle still. I have come to realize however, that so much of my struggles have been a direct result of my involvement with 12 step programs. I have watched most of my hard partying friends simply grow up into fairly well adjusted, productive adults. They did this without the help of AA. I often wonder if I had never been involved with the 12-step racket, would I have just grown up. Instead I spent 7 years of my life feeling even more different than the people around me. I felt like I didn't fit in out here, or in the rooms. I am only now beginning to realize that my problem was never with alcohol, my problem was with me, my self esteem...and I am working on overcoming this so I don't turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to act out. That is what I do, I use to get attention. It is nothing more, and nothing less than this.
I certainly believe that people do have physical addictions to substances, I also believe they can overcome these addictions themselves. I am not negating that AA, or perhaps even AARC has saved lives...I just question what new life these people gain? I am proud to be a strong woman, with strong ideals, and strong opinions I am not afraid to voice. I feel like AA, and programs like AARC stifles the spirit, and the mind. The kids from AARC I saw in the AA rooms seemed entranced. They seemed to be reciting mantras in the room. Witnessing this is actually what helped me decide to distance myself from AA altogether. I remember having lunch with a graduate of AARC, who was a counselor there. I was appalled when she told me my tattoos (I am heavily tattooed), and my "slang" wasn?t really me. Of course they are me. My tattoos tell stories of where I have been, and my "slang" is who I am. Slang, body art, professions, hobbies can all be testament to a persons individuality. I feel so sad when I think of children going through programs like AARC and being stripped of their individuality. I can't help but think there is a lot of talent and beauty being removed from the world because of AARC.
I applaud those who have left AARC and are struggling to reclaim their identity. I am doing the same thing, and find great comfort in knowing I am not alone (as they say in AA) in breaking free of brainwashing. Sure I struggle, I have good days and bad days. I am me though, for the first time in a long time.
"
On 2004-12-02 18:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I was just making a joke with the hiding out comment....it would have been nice to see someone else that loves tattoos!!
As for seeing me at a meeting. I am not sure why you would write that. Was my post not clear? Were you joking? Were you being smug? Not really clear on that."
On 2004-12-02 22:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"One anonymous said
Seriously, though, any institution that uses the methodology of AARC in violation of every civil rights law in the book should not be tolerated in a free and democratic society, but then, what do I know? "
On 2004-12-02 22:03:00, Anonymous wrote:
"the only reason I would have to go for coffee is to see all these tattoos you have talked about..."
On 2004-12-03 05:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-02 22:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"One anonymous said
Seriously, though, any institution that uses the methodology of AARC in violation of every civil rights law in the book should not be tolerated in a free and democratic society, but then, what do I know? "
You are correct - What do you know? If AARC is violating civil rights laws call the police, or file a suit. If there is one thing I find difficult to stomach, it is baseless accusations being thrown around. If you are so indignant, then do something! Prove that AARC is such a terrible place in court. So far no one has had the guts to try that."
On 2004-12-03 15:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-03 05:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-02 22:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"One anonymous said
Seriously, though, any institution that uses the methodology of AARC in violation of every civil rights law in the book should not be tolerated in a free and democratic society, but then, what do I know? "
You are correct - What do you know? If AARC is violating civil rights laws call the police, or file a suit. If there is one thing I find difficult to stomach, it is baseless accusations being thrown around. If you are so indignant, then do something! Prove that AARC is such a terrible place in court. So far no one has had the guts to try that."
Well:
Try this on
Physical restraints
Lock-up without any court order
Duress -- having consents signed under threat.
And besides, the most frequent violators of young people's charter rights are police. Why would a young person, made to feel fearful, go to the very people they see as supporting their custodians for help only to see it thrown back at them ---SHEESH
"
On 2004-12-03 16:43:00, Anonymous wrote:
OF COURSE! (he slaps his head) The far reaching, all encomassing conspiracy! The Cops! The Provincial Government! A treatment centre where a provincial crown prosecuter had not one, but two of his kids in treatment! Where a long time RCMP officer had his kid! Where two prominent psychologists had their kid (me)!
And speaking of me - No physical restraints, no duress to keep me there, and I was free to leave any time.
I reiterate - more baseless accusations being thrown around"
On 2004-12-03 16:43:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-03 15:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-03 05:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-02 22:31:00, Anonymous wrote:
"One anonymous said
Seriously, though, any institution that uses the methodology of AARC in violation of every civil rights law in the book should not be tolerated in a free and democratic society, but then, what do I know? "
You are correct - What do you know? If AARC is violating civil rights laws call the police, or file a suit. If there is one thing I find difficult to stomach, it is baseless accusations being thrown around. If you are so indignant, then do something! Prove that AARC is such a terrible place in court. So far no one has had the guts to try that."
Well:
Try this on
Physical restraints
Lock-up without any court order
Duress -- having consents signed under threat.
And besides, the most frequent violators of young people's charter rights are police. Why would a young person, made to feel fearful, go to the very people they see as supporting their custodians for help only to see it thrown back at them ---SHEESH
"
OF COURSE! (he slaps his head) The far reaching, all encomassing conspiracy! The Cops! The Provincial Government! A treatment centre where a provincial crown prosecuter had not one, but two of his kids in treatment! Where a long time RCMP officer had his kid! Where two prominent psychologists had their kid (me)!
And speaking of me - No physical restraints, no duress to keep me there, and I was free to leave any time.
I reiterate - more baseless accusations being thrown around"
On 2004-12-03 19:35:00, velvet2000 wrote:
"I was denied access to a lawyer or any other outside help. I was not court ordered or given any form of trial. I was denied access to mail, email, or telephone and had no way of accessing any outside help. I was not allowed to physically leave the building, and those who tried to walk out of the building or host homes were physically restrained (usually by having everyone present sit on the person). I was subjected to cruel and unusual punishment. Such acts of this punishment would be:
Being kept isolated from society and loved ones.
Denial of ability to continue education or work.
Denial of efficient sunlight and exercise.
Denial of proper movement (being forced to sit in only one position with feet flat on the floor and hands straight down aside, unable to move at all)
Being denied water.
Being denied to speak of my religious beliefs, attend religious functions, or read material about my own religion.
Being forced to stand in one place for an extended time period.
Being denied access to doctors while suffering serious illnesses.
Suffering verbal degradation and hostility.
Being denied proper clothing to keep warm outdoors and inside unheated area's of the building.
Denial of time alone, even under supervision.
Being forced to partake in regressional therapy for extended periods of time.
Forcibly being subjected to graphic discussion of sexual abuse, rape, prostitution etc, and being forced to partake in this discussion (as a child).
I list these things because they disobey basic human rights, however they are certainly not the worst things that I witnessed or experienced in AARC.
"
On 2004-12-11 06:33:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
Being kept isolated from society and loved ones.| Did you not see your family Tuesdays and Fridays?--then Every night go home after step 3?
Denial of ability to continue education or work.| On level three you are allowed to?
Denial of proper movement (being forced to sit in only one position with feet flat on the floor and hands straight down aside, unable to move at all)| Uh huh, simliar to public school... sitting, usually with your feet on the floor, hands on the desk... you poor thing!
Being denied water.| Im sure after the 20th time inside of 5 minutes that you complained for it...someone eventually said "enough is enough"
On 2004-12-11 07:24:00, Anonymous wrote:LOL I read maybe three of your arguements...and saw enough...
"Quote
On 2004-12-11 06:33:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
Being kept isolated from society and loved ones.| Did you not see your family Tuesdays and Fridays?--then Every night go home after step 3?
Seeing your family from across the room 2 nites a week does not constitute a visit, especially when monitored by an oldcomer so the child can't express him or herself. And even after they go home, if they talk about any negative effects the program may be having on them the parents tell staff, staff stands them up and confronts them and then they're usually set back for daring to question the program at all.
QuoteDenial of ability to continue education or work.| On level three you are allowed to?
Yeah, AFTER your academics have been screwed because of being out of school for that amount of time.QuoteDenial of proper movement (being forced to sit in only one position with feet flat on the floor and hands straight down aside, unable to move at all)| Uh huh, simliar to public school... sitting, usually with your feet on the floor, hands on the desk... you poor thing!
No, in school you don't have to keep your feel FLAT on the floor, you can move or stretch if needed and use the bathroom at sane intervals.QuoteBeing denied water.| Im sure after the 20th time inside of 5 minutes that you complained for it...someone eventually said "enough is enough"
:rofl: :rofl:
"
On 2004-12-11 06:33:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
in treatment
6.)Wouldnt allow me to stay in contact with the people I did drugs with/drank with/kept me sick
7.)Made me have a conscience about the things I did that were hurtful/unethical.
...Granted that I am likely not the model graduate...
On 2004-12-12 00:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-11 06:33:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
in treatment
6.)Wouldnt allow me to stay in contact with the people I did drugs with/drank with/kept me sick
7.)Made me have a conscience about the things I did that were hurtful/unethical.
...Granted that I am likely not the model graduate...
On 2004-12-12 06:27:00, Anonymous wrote:and I invite you to throw whatever dirt you "think" you have at me... I have nothing to hide. :rofl: But obviously you do...signing on here anonymously and all :roll:
"Quote
On 2004-12-12 00:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Quote
On 2004-12-11 06:33:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
in treatment
6.)Wouldnt allow me to stay in contact with the people I did drugs with/drank with/kept me sick
7.)Made me have a conscience about the things I did that were hurtful/unethical.
...Granted that I am likely not the model graduate...
Healthy associates? Ethical behaviour? Now we both know that you have secrets surrounding those areas. Quit kidding yourself, anyone who knew the TRUTH about you would tell you that you're a relapsed AARC-ite, hanging onto a false mask of sobreity and upstanding citizenship. Get honest. :rofl: :rofl: Oh thats gold... an angry anti-aarcist grasping at straws...yet again... I am hardly surprised by that :rofl: :rofl: "
On 2004-12-12 07:48:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:Josh, come on you cant forget those mob ties you have :rofl: don't even pay attention to this clown, when is your 9 years? May? :idea:
"Come on...lets hear it...surely you have SOMEthing... hell, make it up![ This Message was edited by: BigJoshuaP on 2004-12-12 07:48 ][ This Message was edited by: BigJoshuaP on 2004-12-12 07:50 ]"
On 2004-12-12 07:48:00, BigJoshuaP wrote:
"Come on...lets hear it...surely you have SOMEthing... hell, make it up![ This Message was edited by: BigJoshuaP on 2004-12-12 07:48 ][ This Message was edited by: BigJoshuaP on 2004-12-12 07:50 ]"