Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Elan School => Topic started by: Anonymous on July 23, 2002, 09:53:00 AM
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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
Niggers.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.
Why do niggers cry during sex?
The Mace.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too.
What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
Someone too lazy to steal.
Why don't niggers take aspirin?
They refuse to pick the cotton out.
What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
Your bike.
What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
Why do spics drive low-riders?
So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
A chain of empty retail stores.
Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
Cats keep covering them up.
What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
A COON-dominium.
Why are there no nigger astronauts?
Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
How do you babysit a niglet?
Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
How do you get him down?
Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
How else do you babysit a niglet?
Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
How do you get him down?
Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
Why do jews have big noses?
Air is free.
What is a nigger on a bike?
Thief.
What's long and black and smells like shit?
The welfare line.
What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.
What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
First grade.
How was break dancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?
To teach their kids how to walk.
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?
The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?
"I set WHO free?"
Why are chimps always frowning?
They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.
Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?
The harder you hit it the more English you get.
How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?
All of them if you put them in the ashtray.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
Who cares.
A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?
The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.
Why don't spics have barbeques?
The beans keep falling through the grill.
You hear about the new car made in Israel?
Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?
A quarter-pounder.
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
All of them.
How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down the street.
How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?
One if you spread him real thin.
How do you blindfold a chink?
Dental floss.
How do chinks name their kids?
They throw silverware down the stairs.
What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?
The bag.
What's the most confusing day in Harlem?
Father's Day.
When does a Black man turn into a nigger?
As soon as he leaves the room.
What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?
Nigger.
What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?
The defendant.
There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?
The cop.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?
He doesn't know he's black.
How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?
9 months.
Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?
To keep the flies off the chicken.
Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?
California got first pick.
Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?
So they can drive handcuffed.
Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.
What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
Niger nigger nigger.
How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
Why do police dogs lick their ass?
To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.
What can a pizza do that a nigger can't?
Feed a family of four.
Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?
I.D.
What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A nigger dressed for church.
Why do niggers have flat noses?
That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.
Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.
What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"
Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.
What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
It comes in a spray can.
What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
It's still legal to own a pit-bull.
What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."
Why do niggers walk the way they do?
Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.
What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.
Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.
How do you stop a nigger from going out?
Pour more gas on him.
Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.
What do you do if you run over a nigger?
Reverse.
Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.
Who were the three most famous women in black history?
Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!
Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?
You put it on the front of your car.
What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
They're both niggers.
How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both niggers.
Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
A Doberman Pinscher.
What's the fastest animal in the world?
The Ethiopian chicken.
Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Why was golf invented?
So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
Stop laughing and reload.
Why did god create orgasms?
So niggers know when to stop.
Why did god give niggers rhythm?
Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.
Why can't nigger women become nuns?
Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
You don't.
Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
Christmas will be here this year.
Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.
Why do seagulls have wings?
To beat the niggers to the dump.
What's a crying shame?
When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
A dart.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
Because one of them lost a quarter.
What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
Deep down they're good people.
What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
The length of the chain.
What's black, orange, and very pretty?
A nigger on fire.
What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
Not enough cement.
How was copper wire invented?
Two jews fighting over a penny.
How do you starve a nigger?
Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
Throw in a welfare check.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application.
Why are there trees in Harlem?
Public transportation.
How does a black woman fight crime?
She has an abortion.
What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
"Drop it nigger."
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As tasteless and hateful as this post is, please do not delete it, I will be sending the link to the local DA's office.
This person needs to be taken off the internet AND the streets, either legally, or with a body bag.
Sometimes I forget that theres actually people still out there that are this insecure, ignorant and unworthy of their place on this planet.
I am a 35 year old white american male, and I think I am offended more by this post than anyone it makes reference to. Too bad the author thinks he is part of a group that supports his ideas because he is not even part of the HUMAN race that he has found some need to seperate into classes based on a simple aspect of skin color.
Theres a seat in hell for you.
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"As tasteless and hateful as this post is, please do not delete it, I will be sending the link to the local DA's office"
Well now I think it is safe to say that you are gonna be a very very very busy boy.This is one in a billion joke links out there on the internet.Personally if you did send this to a D.A he would laugh his or her ass off not only at the jokes but at your attempt to rain on someone's parade.
My only advice to you is throw out your computer, you do not belong on the internet.There is a billion more webpages out there that exist that would be considered offensive to you.
You are not obligated to read them, no one is holding a gun to your head and making you read them.So if you find it offensive then dont fuckin read it.
Let's just face it, you are 35 years old, and in all your 35 years of existance no one has ever taught or told you if you dont like something then dont read it?
Enough said.
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Quite the rationalization for a sick and shallow compilation of insecurities.
If someone else thinks its funny, it must be funny huh?
Your genuinly ignorant, and need a good dose of sodomy in a state penetentiary.
I happen to have spoke to the DA in COOS county Oregon today, and they took a GREAT interest in this post...I imagine Ginger will be Validating this by telling your dumb ass that there was an inquiry made to the webmasters.
Good luck, and be careful, there might be an african american cooking your dinner tonight, a Jewish person teaching your children in school, or an asian person giving your wife a vaginal exam trying to figure out what all those lesions are in her cavity of love.
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Your genuinly ignorant, and need a good dose of sodomy in a state penetentiary.
You most know alot about being sodomized.Then again you must live in Oregon and that must be what they specialize in your state.You type of experience don't you?
The bottom line is you are full of more shit then a Jonny on the spot.
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Gee I wish I had an IQ of a redneck asswad like you...I would probobly find these Jokes funny, and agree, "other people do it, so it must be funny"
So if I can find a whole slew of this crap on the internet what would you suggest a person who finds it offensive, rude, and hateful do? just give up? or irradicate one fuckstick like you at a time?
Or would it be more socially acceptable to the likes of you if a person just gave up and joined your blind sorry ass game that hurts other people?
You hurt people with your hate, you are not alone, theres many of you sick sorry fucks out there, and one by one, you will eventually pay dearly for your intollerable attitude towards another human being. I doubt you have a conscience, but kharma will get you if your conscience is never developed beyond a trite cavemans mentality.
I wonder, obviously you feel superior to other races, what exactly seperates you from them? Your a human , they are human.....there IS no difference.
Have you ever pondered the theory of evolution? I doubt your pea-brain is capable of absorbing a very powerful theory...maybe you have a better one? Like someone came along and made YOu, and then made everyone else either as worthy of life, or less so?
Your such an idiot its unreal, and as far as I am concerned, you and the people who think like you are the true definition of a "nigger"...and that has NOTHING to do with a race or creed you stupid fucking nigger.
Oregon is the sodomy state huh? what a creative rebuttal to a REAL issue. You should have sat closer to the front of the classroom during your 3 years of schooling.
You can sit there in front of your computer and defend racism and hate all day and all night...theres not a creative (or attempted insult) that is going to change the fact that your an ignorant, shallow, self centered loser.
did you catch that loser? your a small part of a big problem in the world...I hope theres something you can do to avoid the misery you will feel when you realize this.
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There are no words hes not worth it!
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Those were some real funny jokes.I got one for you.
Have you heard of the new black Barbie?
It comes with 7 kids,food stamps,and government cheese.
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You my friend are a contaversial man. What ever your point is for posting these very hatefull --- so called jokes -- has been missed by me, but I find things like Hee Haw, Nascar, Monster Truck Shows and the good-old-boy past time of beating your wife and sodomysin the youngins(not the physical acts, but the man behind the abuse) to be slightly amuseing.
I agrre with the previous anon posters, but specificly your need to be man raped (again) in an adult prison.
What will you post next? I'mon the edge of my seat to see what you can do to follow-up on this provacative topic? I know you could be creative and make up your OWN mean and hatefull jokes. Hows that sound? When your at work today, just take some toilet paper from stall #3, ask someone for a pen or pencil, and commense to creatin your own sick disturbing hatfull jokes. Think you could do that Jethro. I know your day must be hectic, but you should be able to fit this in between buying new tires for your truck and applying to those high paying jobs at McDonalds that all the Blacks,Browns and Reds are stealing from the white man.
Heres a topic --- September 11th! How's that sound? Your hatefull, clever, semi-literate ass should be able to come up with some good dead-fireman and police jokes.
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Ya'll, don't get bent out of shape. This is an obvious troll. The guy's just trying to start a fight, derail any meaningful discussion, maybe see if I'll try and ban him or shut down the site. Sort of proves Dan's point, huh?
Try again. This shit is mild compared to what some of my dad's Klansman/cop buddies used to toss around while we were out taking target practice at the rock pits. Some of those who are enforcers really and truely are those who burn crosses. No lie. The only up side is that most of them are not very good shots and none too bright.
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How come when a Nigger dies they bury him real deep?
Because deep down they are good people.
Whats the difference between a Nigger and shit?
Shit dries up and looses its smell and a Nigger doesn't.
Do you know why Helen Keller had a yellow leg?
Because her dog was also blind.
How do you know when a Jew moves into your neighborhood?
The Mexicans get car insurance.
Know how the Grand Canyon was formed?
A Jew dropped a penny down a Gopher hole.
How do Chinese pepole name their kids?
They throw a handful of silverware down the stairs."Wing,Chang,Chung"
What do you call 20,000 Niggers jumping from an airplane?
Night.
or better yet, a good start.
Why does Ray Charles always smile while he sings?
Because he doesn't know that he is black.
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I cannot believe that you even have the nerve to compare these post to the ones that upset oh Danny boy. Those post were about Elan what is the matter with you people Dont you know SICK when you see it! And maybe you will ban him? HELL you banned harbor for less then that and he was debating not being a racist basturd! You people are nuts why do you alloy this and act so nonaffected! Makes me wonder if your enjoying this?
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Oh you know everyone is enjoying this.I'm sure they had a huge laugh over my jokes and are passing them unto their friends.
What I find interesting is how you are hell bent against racism.Being against it is o.k. hey its your life, do what you want with it.All I ask is just one tiny little favor.
"LEARN TO FUCKIN SPELL YOU MORON"
racist basturd! You people are nuts why do you alloy "From the way this was typed you must have some nigger in you"
Yuo stupid fuckin loser, you cant even spell!!!!
You must feel real stupid by now dont you?
Maybe all that cum you got shot up yer ass from being sodomized went to your brain.
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Funny Jethro, but theres far more wrong with your post than a few mis-spelled words.
"Yuo"? never learned this one, can you define that for us?
As I look at your post, I see that you somehow find it more "stupid" to spell a word incorrectly, than say... not putting a space between your sentances?
Heres another example:
racist basturd! You people are nuts why do you alloy "From the way this was typed you must have some nigger in you"
Um, Jethro? shouldnt the asterisks be around the quote, and not your own comment?
Who's stupid?
"hell bent" Should be hyphenated
"unto" makes no literary sense at all. It should have been two words: ON TO
Spelling, punctuation and grammar are certainly problems that weigh in along side racism and prejudice. You have a point there Jethro...
Seems like you have TWO reasons to be hung by your nutts from that big old oak tree in your East Buttfuck Mississippi front yard.
You know how we can tell the toothbrush was invented in your town Jethro?
Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a TEETHBRUSH.
Please keep sending your pissy hostile posts.
Maybe someday you will look back on them and ask yourself "was I really that much of an asshole?" or maybe your children will ask you why you ARE such an asshole.
Its too bad people like you have to spread your hate to feel better about yourselves, I couldnt imagine the complete LOSER you would be if YOU had to live with the things you perpetrate "unto" others. You would have killed yourslef before you were 13 years old.
Nice life you live there Jethro. Tell me, do you have any ideas when it comes to religion?
Is there a god out there?
Do you believe in J.C.?
Did you know he was a Jew?
Ever make it to history class?
Seems some of the oldest civilized societies to be found do not contain any "white" people like you or I. DO you even HAVE any idea where your white skin comes from?
Who are you? where did you come from? are you a native american? A person of asian decent? Italian? Norweigan? Id like to know what you think "white" means.
Can you tell me HOW you are white, and someone else isnt?
Can you tell all of us what exactly makes a white person different (physiologicly) than a black person?
Can you enlighten the world as to what is funny about your jokes that wouldnt be funny if they were directed at your own features?
Seems to me that black people were bought and sold in this country, and although they were segregated, abused, raped murdered and tortured, they decided to stay here.
On the other hand, white man had to kill and steal and rape and torture to be able to call this country their own, and you think theres something funny about your jokes?
Your one sorry ass human Jethro
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" not putting a space between your sentances? "
Perhaps you should stick to picking cotton,you certainly can't fuckin spell you retard.
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I am so sorry I was trying to spell so you would understand , hell its hard to think on your redneck level! So eat me oh iam sorry ya might enjoy that too!!!!!!!!! And I can assure you that you would as I am a white women with class something you never had! EAT SHIT AND DIE YOUR WORTHLESS. P.S. come on down to the ghetto sometime I and all of my black friends would love to have ya... get it or is that over your pea brain too
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You know, due to the commonality of treatment and abuse between Elan and the Seed and other TC communities,I have taken an interest in what happened in Elan and had hoped this board would shed some intelligent conversation/debate. Instead, we got people arguing like 12 year olds,making empty accusations, threatening to call the authorities,and telling racist jokes that not only are not funny, but they are old.
Thru it all, almost none of you have the stones to post your names.
What a bunch of losers. You all are evidence that Elan's treatment modality absolutely doesn't work.
Grow up.
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Who cares what you want? You weren't in Elan anyway. Are we here for your entertainment?
Worry about you. You aren't one of us. none of this is your business. Have a nice day!
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Its pretty bold and presumptuous to assume anyone to post in this thread even attended Elan to begin with.
But you're right, it is a pathetic waste of time.
Has nothing at all to do with Elan really, becuase Elan didnt put up with petty-ass shit like this.
I dont think it needs to be pointed out whos the insecure retarded asswad here, and who might have a little less patience than they should when it comes to racist pig fuckers like the ones who post these jokes.
Most people who have issues with other races find themselves attracted to those of another race, especially men who refuse to accept they are gay like Jethro, and want so badly to suck a long black cock, but doesnt feel adequate around black men enough to approach one and ask if he could. So he keeps his "afroshaft" mags under his mattress, and when he is done stabbing his rabbit, he comes in here and lets go of his guilt.
See, in Psych class, we were taught to understand why people like Jethro feel the way they do. Jethro wants a big black cock in his ass, but doesnt know how to tell anyone of his deep dark desire (no pun intended) So rather than confront his insecurities, he makes jokes about the men he is attracted to, with the hopes that someone will come along and offer to fulfill his anal desires.
Poor kid, maybe when he grows into adulthood, he will have learned that its ok to be gay, and its ok for people like him to accept a black man into his bowels if thats what he so desires.
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You people are so stupid fighting over a bunch of jokes.First of all I am a black male and think that these jokes are quite amusing.
I got a good laugh out them.Black jokes, polish jokes,jewish jokes,ethiopian jokes,african jokes, and chinese jokes, I've heard them all.
The person that post these jokes is not just focusing on one race of people but different races of pepole.
The way I see it is if you are not mature enough to handle it then dont bother reading it.
P.s To the annoy who posted the chinese joke about how they name their children, that is a real good one.
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Your full of shit go away, My black freinds have told me that there isnt a black person out there that tollerates the word "nigger" in any form, especially coming from a white person or used in a racially motivated joke.
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Well your friends are full of shit.Nigger is used amongst conversations alot,but we like to use the term Nigga.
I dont let jokes like that get to me.It is ignorant people like you that start trouble and get other people all fired up.
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A Truck Driver has to deliver 330 black Brunswick bowling balls to Arkansas. Along the way he sees a black guy hitchhiking, so he pulls over and says "I'll give ya a ride but there's no room up here in the cab get in the back with the balls." So he does. A little further down the road he sees another black guy with a flat tire on his bike, and he too is lookin' for a ride, so the driver tells him that he'll be glad to give him a ride but he has to ride in back with the balls. He agrees. So just as there getting into Arkansas they get pulled over by a detective and a rookie. The detective tells the rookie to get the drivers credentials and he'll check the cargo. As the rookie is getting the paperwork the detective runs to the front of the truck and tells the driver to get the hell out of Arkansas, so he goes on his way. As the two cops are walking back to the car the rookie asks why he let the driver go and he replied, "son, he had a truck full of Negro eggs, two hatched and one already stole a bike. -
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A little, short man about 5 foot 5 inches walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. The bar tender looks and him and says, "Hey man, you better get out of here with that shirt on." The man replies "Why?" The bar tender says well first off it says "I HATE NIGGERS". And secondly it's about 10 minutes from now a lot of them come in here from work. The man insists he will be fine. He proceeds to finish his beer, and orders another one. Well right as he is doing so, three blacks walk in and sit down next to him. They order some drinks, and then notice the man's shirt. The first black guy turns to the white man and says what does your shirt say?" The white man turns to the bar tender and says, "The first thing I hate about black guys is they can't read." The second black guy turns to him and says, "What did you say"? The white man again turns to the bar tender and says, "the second thing I hate about black guys is that they can't hear." The third black guy (a huge black guy, 6ft 9in, arms the size of dumbbells, really mean looking) turns to the white man and says, "Would you like to take this outside?" The white man agrees to take it outside. 10 minutes later he returns and sits back down, orders another beer, and says to the bar tender " The third thing I hate about black guys is that they always bring a knife to a gun fight".
A Black, a Native American and a cowboy were sitting at a bar. The Native American says, "In this country once we were many and now we are few." The Black adds, "In this country once we were few but now we are many." Then the cowboy says, "We just haven't played cowboys and blacks yet"
What's the difference between a black guy and Batman?
Batman can go to the store without robbin'
What is the most confusing holiday in the African American community?
Father's Day
What do you call a bunch of blacks running down a hill?
Mudslide
What do you give a black lady after she had an abortion?
$50 crime stoppers award
I had a black friend once.... but I sold him!
What do you call 1000 niggers in the ocean?
An oil spill
How do you get a black man nervous?
Take him to an auction
A lady has always wanted to have sex with a black man. So she goes to a bar and has some drinks. She starts talking to a black man and pretty soon they go to her apartment. She takes off her clothes and jumps on the bed. She says do what you do best? So he grabs the TV and runs
Why are black people good at basketball?
Cuz they can shoot, run, and steal
Why do black people have big lips?
So they can suck the coins out of parking meters
What do you call 9 black guys buried up to their necks in sand?
Afro-turf -
What do you call a Queer Eskimo?
A snow blower
What you get when you cross a queer Eskimo with a black guy?
A snow blower that doesn't work
What do people and jellybeans have in common?
Everybody hates the black ones.
Why do white people in black neighborhoods use clear plastic trash bags?
So black people can do window-shopping
A black man was walking and he came by a lake. At the lake he saw a Chinese man skipping rocks across it. The rocks were making sounds as they went across. CHING CHANG CHONG. The black man asked what he was doing. He said he was communicating with his ancestors. The black man said, "let me try that". He picked up a rock and skipped it across the lake. They went CHIM-PAN-ZEE. He got mad, picked up a big log and threw it down, it went BABOON!
Ok, there is two black guys walking down the street, and they see a building that says "Talent Show". They decide to go in. The talent is to turn black people into white people. The talent show costs 99 cents. One black guy has $1 and the other has 98 cents. The one with 98 cents tells the one with the dollar to go in first and then give him the penny so he can turn white. So the one with the dollar goes in. He comes out white. "WOW!" Says the other, "can I have the penny now?" The other says "Fuck you, black guy, get a job!"
There's a bartender who is always getting his bar messed up by big guys. So he goes to pet shop to get an animal to protect him. He gets a gorilla and puts it in his bar with a string of bananas in front of him. If you move the bananas from the gorilla he will go crazy and beat people. Well the next day a 6 foot 6 275 pound guy goes into the bar and starts tearing the place apart. The bartender pulls the string and the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day a 7 foot 4, 450 pounder goes into the bar and tears it up so the gorilla kicks the guy's ass. The next day, a Pollack whose 5 foot and 95 pounds goes in there and starts causing trouble so the bartender releases the gorilla and the Pollack kicks the gorilla's ass. As the Pollack is dusting himself off he says, "give a nigger a fur coat and he thinks he owns the world."
What's the difference between a working black man and big foot?
People have seen big foot
Did you hear about that black guy they found on the bottom of that river in Arkansas with 300lbs of chains wrapped around him...the local sheriff said, "just like a goddamn black guy, stole more chains than he could
swim with
Two black guys walk into a bar and they see a white guy in a Klan hat and he says, "no blacks allowed." The black guys say, "didn't you ever hear of the Emancipation Proclamation?" The guy in the klan hat says, "no, I don't listen to hip hop."
A black kid is so depressed at his color that he whitewashes himself to see what it's like. He walks in to show his mom and gets a smack round the ear for his trouble. Hurt but determined he goes to see his dad and show him, and gets the beating of his life. After fleeing the house he sits on a park bench, crying. An old lady comes over and asks, "What's the matter sonny?" The kid replies, "I've only been white for half an hour and I hate those black bastards already!"
What do you get when you throw a basketball into a slave ship sailing across the world? Harlem Globetrotters
What do you call a black abortion center?
Crime-stoppers of America
Why do blacks wear white gloves when eating candy?
So they do not bite their finger off when eating a Tootsie Roll.
Why did God give black men big cocks?
As a way of saying I am sorry for putting pubic hair on their heads.
What do you call 2 black guys on a bike?
Organized Crime
What do you call the black Toys R Us?
We Be Toys
Why did so many Blacks die in the war?
Cause when the colonel yelled "Get down!" they all got up and started dancing.
How do you keep a black from stealing anything in your store?
Put a 'Helped Wanted' sign in the window
What is it called when a white cop shoots a black man?
He had a gun.
What is it called when a white guy pushes a black guy down the stairs?
He fell.
There are three guys sitting at a bar: a German, an Italian, and a black guy. Jesus Christ himself walks into the bar and over to them. He touches the German guy and says, "broken leg, you're healed." Then Christ walks to the Italian touches him and says, "sprained ankle, you're healed." Both men are now healed and then Christ walks over to the black guy and goes to touch him, and he pulls away quickly and shouts, "don't touch me I am on disability!"
What did a black say when crossing the Zebra Crossing?
Now you see me, now you don't...
What time is it to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house?
When the big hand is on the little hand.
What do JC Penny and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both have boys' pants half off.
What do Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and an educated black person have in common?
They don't exist
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So little black kids can get messy two.
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Fag Jokes
Q: Why did the two fags hold hands and cross the road?
A: Because they were retarded.
Q: Why did God invent AIDS?
A: To decrease the number of homosexuals.
Q: Why are there Pride marches?
A: Because there are lots of idiots in the world.
Q: How many homosexuals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Between ten and seventy.
Q: Why are gay people usually fired from their jobs?
A: Because they make lousy employees.
Q: What's the difference between a homosexual and a toilet?
A: You could kiss a toilet if you had to.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with no arms and legs?
A: Tanya.
Q: What do you say to a gay men right after his lover has died?
A: "You're next."
Q: Why do gay men like to drink?
A: Because they're confused and weak.
Q: Why are homosexuals like a six-pack?
A: Because you always feel better after they're gone.
Q: Is a lesbian a room deodorizer?
A: Yes.
Q: What do you get when you cross a faggot with a hungry alligator?
A: Something worth videotaping.
Q: Why don't homosexuals wipe their asses?
A: Because they like the smell of shit.
Q: What do people usually do when they see faggots get killed in automobile accidents?
A: Watch and laugh.
Q: Who benefits from gay rights?
A: Assholes.
Q: Why did the lesbian go to the therapist?
A: Because no one else would listen to her.
Q: How do you make a faggot shut up?
A: You can't.
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What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.
Why do niggers always have sex on their mind?
Because they've got pubic hair on their head!
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop.
Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
Because they come with birth certificates.
Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, or swim have already left the country.
Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
What do niggers use to wash their white clothes?
BLEEATCH!
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Beause they're half balck and half white, and smell like shit.
Whats the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
Whats the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A nigger in a microwave.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarhea.
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
Its probably your bike.
What do you call 50 niggers burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do niggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they dont bite their fingers.
What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs.
How many nigger college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.
-
Corky?
You have to stop posting these funny jokes -- your getting me hot. Maybe you and I can get together and I could slide my Big Black 10" Man Junk in your worn out balloon knot?
Sound like fun? Then maybe -- we could study for your G.E.D together -- or go over the discovery material in your upcoming child sodomy trial?
You so Crazy!
xoxox
-
What happened when the nigger looked up his family tree?
A gorilla shit on his face.
Why don't niggers like blowjobs?
They don't like any jobs.
What do you call a nigger priest?
Holy shit.
Why do niggers always have sex on their mind?
Because they've got pubic hair on their head!
Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So mexicans can window shop.
Why do mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?
Because they come with birth certificates.
Why don't mexicans have any Olympic teams?
Because all the mexicans who can run, jump, or swim have already left the country.
Why don't mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Why do mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a mexican doing anything right the first time?
How can you tell a mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.
What do you get when you cross a mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.
What are three things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip and an education.
What do niggers use to wash their white clothes?
BLEEATCH!
Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.
What did the nigger say when he slid down the zebra?
Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't.
What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
Neighbor.
What do you call two Ethiopians in a gold sleeping bag?
Twix.
Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Beause they're half balck and half white, and smell like shit.
What's the difference between a nigger and a letter?
You can send a letter back to where it came from.
What's the difference between the holy grail and a nigger's daddy?
You may find the grail.
What is black, runny, and scratches on glass?
A nigger in a microwave.
What do you call 9 mexicans in front of your house?
A spicket fence.
How does the navy use niggers?
They debone them and use them as wetsuits.
What does Pontiac stand for?
Poor Old Niggers Think Its A Cadillac.
Do you remember the nigger family on the Jetsons? No?
The future looks pretty good!
Did you hear about the nigger that thought he was bleeding to death?
Turns out he just had diarrhea.
Why don't jews like oral sex?
It's too close to the gas chamber.
Why don't you run over a nigger on a bike?
Its probably your bike.
What do you call 50 niggers burried up to their necks in dirt?
Afro-turf.
Why do niggers drive with their windows up?
They think the smell is coming from outside.
Why do niggers eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
So they don't bite their fingers.
What do you call two nigger cops on motorcycles?
Chocolate chips.
Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
KFC isn't open on holidays.
Why do niggers like basket ball?
It involves running, shooting and stealing.
What has four legs and a black arm?
A happy pitbull.
How do you know if a nigger is well hung?
If you can't fit your finger between his neck and the noose.
Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"
Did you hear about the jew bitch who told her husband, "Give me 10 inches and make it hurt."?
He fucked her twice and threw her down the stairs.
How many nigger college students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets 6 credits for it.
-
A spic walks into a bar and says, "Hey, nigger, give me a drink." The nigger bartender says, "I'll give you a drink, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't refer to me as a "nigger." "Oh man!, I am sure sorry about that bro'. Won't happen again." A few minutes later the spic says, "Hey moon crickett, another round." The nigger says,"Hey, look, I really don't want you calling me "moon crickett" either." The spic says,"Sorry bootlips, I didn't mean anything by it." The bartender says, "OK that's it! How would you like it if you were the bartender and I came in here calling you names?" "I don't know, let's find out." So the spic puts on an apron and goes behind the bar and the nigger walks outside and comes back in and shouts, "Hey wetback! I want a fucking drink!" The "bartender" stops washing glasses and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve niggers in here."
In a first grade class on the first day of school, the teacher wanted to get to know all the students, so she had them all stand up and say their names. A little niglet stood up and said that his name was "Mother Fucker." "Excuse me?" asked the incredulous teacher. "That's right ho, my name be Mother Fucker." "Well listen here," said the teacher, "this may be the first day of school, and you may think you can use foul language to get attention, but I can assure you that I won't tolerate it. Now, tell me your real name right now or I will send you straight to the principal's office." The black boy replied, "Look bitch, I said my name be Mother Fucker, and I mean ta tell ya, it be Mother Fucker!" "Well, that's it! Get out of my classroom right now!" The boy headed for the door and when he got there he turned to his twin brother who was also in the classroom and said, "Come on, Fuck Face, the bitch ain't gonna believe you either."
A nigger walks into a bar with a duck on his shoulder. Bartender says, "Hey, cool, where did you get that?" Duck says, "Africa, they are all over the fucking place."
Nigger walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doctuh, you gots ta hep me! I'm dyin' and it hurts!" "Well, where does it hurt, boy?" "Oh lawd, it hurts here," pointing to his leg, "And it hurts here," pointing to his arm, "And it's killin' me here," pointing to his stomach. After a full examination, the doctor says, "Get out of my office you asshole, all you have is a broken finger!"
The Pope, a boyscout, and the smartest nigger in the world are on an airplane. The engines fail, the plane starts going down, and there is only 2 parachutes. The smartest nigger in the world says, "Due to my extraordinarily high intelligence, I believe it is imperative that I survive and continue to show my people the path to greatness." He grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The Pope tells the boyscout, "I am an old man and I am ready to meet God, so you may use the remaining parachute, my son." The boyscout replies, "No, that's cool Pope, we both have parachutes because that nigger just jumped out of the plane with my backpack."
A priest and a rabbi show up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "Can I help you boys?" "Well, yeah, we just died and we would like to come in to Heaven." Peter looks at his clipboard and says, "I don't think so. You have been pretty bad on Earth and we don't let people like that in here. But I'll tell you what; go ahead and go to Hell, just for now. If Satan will let you come back, I will let you in." Peter sends them away laughing, because Satan never lets anyone go to Heaven. About 10 minutes later the preacher shows back up at the Pearly Gates. Peter says, "No shit! Satan let you come back?" "Yeah, he was in a good mood and said for $20 bucks each we could get out of Hell." "Well, where is that rabbi?" "I don't know, when I left he had Satan down to $19.95."
There is this rich Texas rancher who has a 100 meter long swimming pool with a shark in it. He has always said if anyone could swim from one end to the other without being eaten, he would give them either his daughter or his ranch. Well, his beautiful daughter had gone off to art school in New York and brought a nigger classmate home to one of her Dad's big barbeques. Of course, everyone is talking about how fucked up it is that the rancher's daughter brought a nigger there, when all of a sudden there was a huge splash. Everyone looked, and it was the nigger swimming his black ass off with the shark hot on his trail. At the other end of the pool the nigger threw himself out of the water and lay gasping and panting on the ground. The rancher came up and said, "Well, shit. I am a man of my word, so do you want my ranch or my daughter?" The nigger said, " Neither, I just want to know who pushed me into the pool."
It was the Summer of 1968 and a nigger showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter comes out and says, "Uh, is there something I can do for you? I mean, we don't let niggers in here." "I know," said the nigger, "It's just that, I am from Alabama, and I grew up around White folks, and I like White folks, and I even married a White woman, so I thought maybe I could get in." Peter said, "Wait, you say you married a White woman in Alabama? When the hell was this?" The nigger looks at his watch and says, "Oh, about 10 minutes ago."
Two white convicts escape from their prison, only to find that a nigger has followed them out and is running along with them. The three of them see a few tree in the distance and they each climb up one to avoid the bloodhounds that are tracking them. When the police and dogs get to the first tree the dogs go crazy, barking and jumping. The White convict goes, "Meeeow," and the cops just think it is a cat stuck in a tree. So they go to the next tree where the other White convict says, "Hoo Hoo hoo Hoooo." The police figure it is just an owl in the tree. The nigger, hearing how the 2 White guys avoided capture, figures he will do the same, and when the dogs get to his tree, he lets out a lou, "Moooooooooo."
So anyway, they all three get captured, and now they face the firing squad. The first White guy is standing there and as the warden says, "Ready.....Aim...." the prisoner points behind the cops and yells, "Tornado!" As the firing squad turns to look for the twister, the convict jumps over the wall and escapes. Now they have the second White convict standing there. "Ready.....Aim...." He points over their shoulders and yells, "Flash flood!", and escapes as they turn to look. Now the nigger has his turn. "Ready.Aim....." Just then the nigger jumps up and points and yells, "Fire!"
2 priests are arguing over whether God is black or White. Finally the one says he will just go ask God himself. When he comes back he says with a shrug, "I don't know, he just said 'I am what I am'" The other priest says, Well, that proves it! God is white!" "How can you be so sure?" "Well, because, if God was a nigger he would have said, "I is what I is."
Two big, fat, greasy nigger bitches are at the zoo. These are some big buffarilla type women. So they go to the monkey section where the sign says, "Don't feed the gorilla." But the one woman tries to feed the big silverback a bannana anyway. Well, the huge gorilla walks over, bends the bars apart, grabs the nigger woman inside the cage, and beats the shit out of her and commences to raping her in the ass. It takes the zoo keepers 20 minutes to make the gorilla let go of her. They were spraying it with a fire hose, hitting it with sticks, finally they shot it with about 5 tranquilizers. So the one nigger woman goes to visit her friend in the hospital, and she is fucked up. Swollen eyes, missing teeth, hair all torn out, and as soon as she sees her friend she breaks out crying and sobbing. "There, there honey," says her friend, comforting her and holding her, "We are gonna get you through this and you are gonna be jus' fine, honey." "I know, I know," says the first one, "But he don't call and he don't write and he don't come visit....."
A black nun and a White nun are walking through Central Park at night when 2 niggers jump out and start raping them. "Oh, forgive them, Lord, for the they know not what they do." The black nun exclaims, "Mine sure do!"
So a nigger gets a job digging telephone pole holes and at the end of the day the foreman comes by to see how many he had gotten done. "One, boss," he replied. "One! Hell everybody else can dig 15 holes a day!" "Yeah, sure, but they way they dig them, look how much of the telephone pole is still sticking out of the ground!"
A White man and a nigger are walking through the jungle when a lion jumps out to attack them. The White man throws a handful of sand in the lion's face and climbs up a tree real quick, and says to the nigger, who is still standing on the ground, "Hey, you better get your black ass up in this tree!" "Why?," said the spook, "I didn't throw sand in his face."
The F.B.I. sends an agent to South Africa to learn how the police there stop riots. The South African Police General takes him to a township disturbance where the police fire tear gas grenades at the niger mob. The mob runs away a few blocks, regroups, and comes rushing back at the police. Then the cops open up on them with powerful fire hoses, sending the rioters spinning down the street like soccer balls. They regroup and come charging back again, only to be met with squads of German Shepherd attack dogs. They bite those niggers so full of holes that they run like hell and don't come back. "Very impressive," says the F.B.I. agent, "But let me ask you; since the dogs were so effective, why not just use them first?" "Ah, you don't understand," said the Police general, "The niggers down here smell so bad, first we have to fumigate them and rinse them off before our dogs will touch them."
A guy walks into a bar and exclaims, "Goddamn, niggers are fucking assholes!" Someone at the end of the bar says, "Hey, I am offended by that!" "Why, you aren't a nigger." "I know, I'm a fucking asshole!"
A house at the end of the street in a small country town catches on fire. Soon it is fully engulfed in flames and it looks like there is no hope, when all of a sudden here comes a beat up old Chevy truck with a whole family of niggers crammed into it. Must have been 20 of them. Well, they come tearing through town, honking and waving and screaming for people to get out of the way, and they drive right straight into that burning house and stomp the whole damn fire out with their bare feet. The townspeople come crowding around them and congratulate them and thank them for saving the house, and as a token of their gratitude, they give the nigger family $100. "What are you going to do with the money?" they asked. "Well," says the father of the family, "First off we is gonna fix dem fuckin' brakes!"
A man is driving down the road and he sees a nigger family carrying furniture and dishes into an outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he sees them attaching a satellite dish to the roof of the outhouse. He just shakes his head and keeps driving. The next day he drives by and sees two satellite dishes on the roof, and he stops to see what the hell is going on. He says to the nigger, "OK, first I see you carrying furniture into the outhouse and I figure you were moving in. Then I see you putting a dish on the roof, and I figure if you are living in a shithouse you might as well watch T.V. But now I see two dishes on the roof. It is such a small outhouse, why do you need two satellite dishes?" The nigger replied, "Oh, we rented the basement out to Mexicans."
A hindu a jew and a nigger are all walking through the country and stop at a farmer's house to see if they could sleep there for the night. "Well," said the farmer, "All I got fer ya is the barn." The three travellers all agreed that the barn was fine, and the farmer showed them the way. A few minutes later there is a knock at the farmer's door. It was the hindu. He said, "I am very sorry, but there is a cow in the barn and it is strictly forbidden for me to sleep in the barn with a cow. Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Oh, fine, you can sleep in the damn house!" said the farmer. A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. This time it's the jew. He said, "Sir, I am jewish, and you expect me to sleep in the same barn as a pig? A dirty, disgusting, filthy swine? Besides, it smells like shit out there." "Fine, fine, you can sleep in the damn house, just stop bitching!" A few minutes later there is another knock at the door. "I swear to god if it's that damn nigger I am going to whip his ass, because I'll be damned if I let him sleep in my house!" The farmer opened the door and it was the pig and the cow.
A nigger finds a magic lamp and rubs it and when the genie pops out he told her he wanted to be "Tight, White, and outta sight!" So she turned him into a Tampon.
Two niggers walking down the street see a sign that says, "Turn White for $15." The two groids turn their pockets inside out only to discover that one has a 20 dollar bill and the other one has a 10 dollar bill. Since neither one of them has exactly $15, they can't figure out how they can both get turned White.....Finally one of them has a stroke of genius. "You take $20 and go in there and get turned White, then when you come out you can give me your $5 change and then I will have $15 and I can get turned white, too!" "Bet, dog," says the other bootlip, and he goes inside. 10 minutes later, you wouldn't believe it. That nigger was blond haired, blue eyed, and even had on a suit and a tie. The first nigger says, "Man, holy shit, I can't believe it, you are really White! Hurry up and give me that $5 so I can do it too!" "Fuck you, nigger, get a job!"
A first grade teacher wanted to help her students learn black history so one Thursday, she told them that she would read them some famous quotes and whoever could guess who said it could stay home from school the next day. The first one she read was, "By any means necessary." Hands shot up. "Yes, Leroy, can you tell me who said that?" "Malcom X." "That's right," said the teacher, "You may go home now, and you don't have to come to class tomorrow." The next one was, "I have a dream." Again, dozens of little black hands went up. "Yes, Shaquita, do you know who said that?" "Martin Luther King, Jr." "Why yes, that's right, you can go home early and skip school tomorrow also." From the back of the classroom came a disgusted voice, "You goddamn niggers make me fucking sick." The teacher ran to the back of the room and screamed, "Who said that!?" The little White boy jumped out of his chair and headed for the door, saying on his way out, "David Duke. See ya Monday, bitch!"
A nigger finds a lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out and offers to grant him a wish. He told her he wanted to wake up every morning for the rest of his life with 3 women in bed with him. The next day he woke up in bed with Hillary Clinton, Lorena Bobbitt, and Tonya Harding. His dick was gone, his leg was broken, and he didn't have any health insurance.
An old jew bitch was walking her grandson down the beach when a huge wave came up and washed the little boy out to sea. The old woman shook her fist at the sky and cursed God for 20 minutes for taking her only grandson. Finally God couldn't stand the irritating bitch anymore and he sent another wave that set the boy, unharmed, gently back at her feet. After a quick search of the boy she shook her fist at the sky and shrieked, "He had 50 cents in his pocket when you took him!"
A nigger couple showed up at the Pearly Gates. Peter came out and said, "Yes?" "Uh, well sir, my wife and I just died in a car wreck, and we thought we could get into Heaven now." Peter looked at his clipboard and shook his head. "No, you two have been pretty scandalous, I don't think we can have you in here. Well....tell you what. I will bring you back to life and put you back on Earth for 30 days. If you can show some self control and abstain from having sex for the whole month, I will let you in." A month later the 2 showed back up at Heaven. "Well," said Peter, "how did you do?" The nigger replied, "Well, we did great for the first 28 days, but then my wife dropped a bag of potato chips on the floor, and when she bent down to pick them up I just lost it and did her right there on the floor." "That's too bad, because now you know I can't let you into Heaven," said Peter. "Oh, that's OK," said the nigger, "they won't let us back in the grocery store, either."
An Indian chief went to a whorehouse and said he wanted a woman. The madam asked him if he had ever been with a woman before, and he said no. She told him to go find a tree with a hole in it and practice on that for a while. He came back a week later and said he had practiced fucking a hole in a tree and now he wanted a woman. He went upsatairs with a whore, but about 30 seconds later she came running down the stairs yelling and screaming, bloody and bruised, with the injun running behind her swinging a large stick. The madam said, "What the hell are you doing to my whore?" The indian replied, "This time me check for bees first!"
A little niglet put some flour on his face and when his mother came home he said, "Look Momma, I is a White boy!" She slapped him and sent him to his room. When his father came home he came running out and said, "Look Daddy, I is a White boy!" His father slapped him and sent him to his room. Finally the boy's grandmother came home and the boy thought for sure that she wouldn't be so mean, so he ran out and said, "Hey, I is a White boy!" When his grandmother also slapped his face, the boy shouted, "I has only been White for 15 minutes and I already hate you damn niggers!"
A nigger finds a magic lamp and when he rubs it a genie pops out. When he sees the nigger he says, "Oh, shit. What do you want?" The nigger says, "I want a bridge from America to Africa made out of pure gold." The genie says, "Are you fucking crazy? You know how much gold that would take? That is impossible. Pick something else." So the nigger says, "OK, I want all the little nigger children to be just as smart and good looking as the White children." The genie says, "OK, so that bridge, you want it to be 2 lanes or 4 lanes?"
A nigger boy comes home from his first grade class and said, "Momma, all the White kids made an A+ on the math test, but I failed. Why is that?" His mother said, "It's because you are black, my son." Then the boy said, "And all the White kids got an A+ on the spelling test, but I failed that too. How come?" "Because you are black, my son," said his mother. "But then when we took a shower after gym class, I noticed my dick was bigger than all the White boy's dicks. Why is that?" "Well son," she said, "that is because you are 15 years old."
A trucker carrying a load of bowling balls picked up 2 nigger hitchikers who were pushing bikes with flat tires. He tells them they have to ride in back with the bowling balls, which is fine with them. A few miles down the road a cop pulls the truck over for speeding and he asks to look in the back of the truck. After a quick glance he shuts the door and tells the trucker to get the hell down the road as fast as he can. Then he gets on the police radio and tells his chief, "I got a truck headed your way, you escort him to the county line and get them to escort him right out of the state, quick!" "Why, what the hell is wrong?" asked the chief. "What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong....that truck is carrying a load of nigger eggs and 2 of them have already hatched and stole some bikes!"
A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You motherfuckers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, fuck you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should fuck you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
He heard boys' pants were half-off.
Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a Perfect "10"?
Two 5 year olds.
Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.
After his wife had a baby, Michael Jackson asked the doctor when it would be OK to have sex again.
The doctor told him he should wait until the kid was at least 12 or 13 years old.
A priest and a rabbi were walking down the side walk. On the other side of the street they see a 12 year old boy. The priest says "Lets go fuck him." The rabbi looks for a minute and then says "Out of what?"
What do you call 10 niggers in a steam room?
Gorillas In The Mist.
How does Santa Claus know he's at a Jewish house?
There is a parking meter on the roof.
What do you call a fag in a wheelchair?
Roll AIDS.
What do you throw a drowning nigger?
The rest of his family.
How do you blind a Chink?
You put a windshield in front of him.
Why did so few niggers vote for Jesse Jackson?
He promised them jobs.
Did you hear about the nigger who had a heart attack on Halloween?
Somebody came dressed as a job.
What do you call a French nigger?
Jacues Custodian.
How is a nigger like a broken gun?
It doesn't work and you can't fire it.
What do you call 5 niggers hanging from a tree?
A Mississippi wind chime.
Why did the nigger cross the road?
Who the fuck cares why is he out of the cotton field?
What do you call a white man surrounded by 100 niggers?
Warden.
Do you know why flies have wings?
So they can get away from the niggers.
What's the difference between a pothole and a nigger?
You'd swerve to avoid a pothole, wouldn't you?
Why don't niggers stick their heads out of moving vehicles?
Their lips catching the wind will beat them to death.
What do you call a nigger hitchiker?
Stranded.
What do you call a nigger after his white girlfriend breaks up with him?
Homeless.
What's the difference between nigger pussy and a bowling ball?
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
How do you get a nigger to commit suicide?
Toss a bucket of fried chicken into traffic.
What do you call a nigger with an IQ of 15?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of nigger babies?
You can't unload watermelons with a pitchfork!
What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
What qualifies as good behavior in a ghetto school?
Raising your hand before you pop a cap in the teacher.
What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.
Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff."
Did you hear about the nigger and the Mexican who opened a restaurant?
It's called Nacho Mama.
What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.
What's the first thing taught in a ghetto driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.
Hear about the new perfume for nigger women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."
What is white and has a black asshole?
The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.
Why were wheelbarrows invented?
To teach niggers to walk on their hind legs.
What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
Canoes tip.
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn't drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn't collect welfare, and doesn't rape White women?
An inmate.
When is the only time you smile and wink at a nigger?
When you are looking through the scope on your rifle.
What do you call a nigger having sex?
Rape.
Why don't niggers have check books?
They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.
How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.
A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says "Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint". The second says "Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint", and the third says " Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint."
"Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint?" asked the man.
The shop owner replied, "You know how many niggers you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?"
A young nigger walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."
The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."
The nigger said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"
The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"
A midget walks in to a bar, takes a few shots of whiskey, jumps up on the bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" A guy 6 feet two inches tall and weighing 253 lbs stood up and said, "I'll fight you!" That little midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him. Next night the midget walked in and took a few shots, jumped on his bar stool and said, "Hey, any of you motherfuckers want to fight me?" This time an even bigger guy stood up. He was about 6 foot 5 inches and weighed 348 lbs. The midget jumped on him and beat the shit out of him, too. So the bar owner went out and bought a gorilla and locked it in the bathroom. Later that night the midget walked in, took a few shots of whiskey and jumped on the bar stool and asked if there were any sons of bitches that want to fight. This time no one stood up. The bar owner said, "There's a guy in the bathroom that wants to kick your fucking ass." Now the gorilla was in the bathroom for about 6 hours and was really pissed off. That midget walked into the bathroom and there was all kinds of noise for about 2 hours. Finally that midget walked out, sat down all out of breath, looked at the bar owner and said, "Tell that damn nigger his fur coat is in the toilet."
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Great jokes
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How many Nazis-KKK assholes does it take to
screw in a lightbulb.
Three.
One to finally admit that they simply can't do it.
One to start blaming their own inability, on the "spicks, niggers, and Jews"
One to finally go find a Jew to do it for them.
Paul
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How many status members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One lower status member to fuck it up.
One other lower status member to argue a bunch of terms, and house rules, with him about what to do next.
One to finally go get a coordinator, whose job is to look important, and finally come up with the brilliant idea, that me or one of my friends should do it.
About 3 coordinators to attempt to explain to me that is my responsibility, even though we all know that I know that they are full of shit, and only cave to avoid consequences.
and then a few status members to take credit for it, and then seek out the new problem to blame on others, and make themselves look important, and then create a solution that feeds the problem, and then when the problem cannot be resolved that they have made.. feed another member to the family.
Paul
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Paul,
You can attempt to argue and tell your dumb jokes in this topic forum, but I know it is safe to say that I dominate this one.You have alot of catching up to do here.oh yeah and a hell of a lot of typing.....
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:nworthy:
(smile)
Paul