Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Elan School => Topic started by: Sheik Yerbouti on May 19, 2004, 06:12:00 AM
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after yet another nightmare, the re-ccuring, im stuck there im 18, but htis time it was worse, "if u dont listen to us we will beat you" kinda like i was i back in Art's time.. this is not a good sign, if i keep up with this film, i will have no subconcious which to go to when sleepy time comes each night.. @#$&% elan for havingme have sweaty nightmares 8 years after the fact..
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Jordan Eisman
EoT Productions
producer/director/ editor
No. 5 Road
Philadelphia PA, USA
Elan 7 survivor, August 28, 1995-March 20, 1998
JordanEisman@comcast.net[ This Message was edited by: Sheik Yerbouti on 2004-05-19 12:00 ]
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so i got back to sleep, hoping for some dreamland solace, but nooooo, i had to start dreaming about; running around elan 7 tryin to leave, and not being able to find my way out.
After finally awaking for today, i think i should just forget about this film, and put elan way, way behind me.. i mean ill face the fact that they have succeeded in invading my subconscious, there isnt' anything i can do about that, my therapits doesnt do shit, so i paid 45 k for 3 years to have bad dreams, for the rest of my life., elan scum i know u are reading this, i would just like to say thank you, for the nightmares, for the guilt, for the missing out on my teendom (i never ran away from home, stole cars, beat people up, did hard drugs, even drank, or ever got arrested, why should i have been there in the first place)_________________
Jordan Eisman
EoT Productions
producer/director/ editor
No. 5 Road
Philadelphia PA, USA
Elan 7 survivor, August 28, 1995-March 20, 1998
JordanEisman@comcast.net[ This Message was edited by: Sheik Yerbouti on 2004-05-19 12:00 ]
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Yep had em for quite a few years about that hell hole. Similar to yours Jordan.
I think making a film would be totally therapeutic. I think it would give you perspective on it.
just my two cents and obvciously you will know whats best for you.
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if i learned anything from my stay o so many years ago,, is that all emotions are like a river , problems arise out of them only when you stop the flow,, go vent on the place ,, hold yerself a 1 man primal.. just dont get the cops called..altho the talant of introspection goes away after a time,,, still try to be honest with yourself,, i know i dont hate elan cause of the food,, or the corner,, or the gms,, but for there attempt to control my mind in very devious ways, to there own agenda,, not my well bieng,, o ya,, i also hate them for not letting me fool around with lisa f
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deded said :wstupid: that
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thanks for the support everyone, the mind can be a dark and dirty place. i havent slept well really at all since that night, so i have yet to venture into dreamland again, but we'll see what tonight brings...
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the only sure way out of an elanightmare is to pull the fire alarm or bring up for your papers
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I hate those nightmares where you are way over 18 but they still dont let you leave. I still have them all the time. I never went in the ring actually but I dream Im in there a lot
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who threatened you in elan that they would beat you?
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ugh those dreams..we spoken about this...i had those for a while. and then they go away for a long time, but if i have a conversation with someone about elan, that night....ill surely have a bad dream about being trapped in elan. i dream too, sometimes, that for some strange reason, months after i split on home visit, i decide to go back to elan and graduate the program, and after a while of being there the second time, i say to myself oh my god, what did i do, i m trapped in here again,,, and regret it...its aweful...sometimes i dream, that i fight back, that i am smarter the second time around, going back to be in elan after a split and returning, like i know how to work everyone, keep my mmouth shut, work the system, and leave out of there fast, move throught the positions fast. I dont know,....
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now that i have put the film behind me, and am no longer scrubbing through lengthy, and emotional interviews, I havent' had any nightmares.. hmmm makes me think....
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you really are young and showing it, think its time to grow-up let go of Daddy and make it on your own.... must be rough being the child of rich parents :roll:
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i dont understand, maybe you can call me and explain, email me and I will give you my number. :wave:
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anon- whats that supposed to meen? i dont understand eaither? having nightmares, isnt about being immature or anything...