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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => CEDU / Brown Schools and derivatives / clones => Topic started by: Anonymous on May 13, 2004, 12:34:00 AM
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For some reason I could not login under the account I registered for but anyways, my name Is Braden Smith.
Ask me anything, you should do it soon while all this propheet stuff is still in my memory. Oh, and by the way, the imagine was bullshit at first, but it does teach you a good thing. It gets you in touch with your "rock bottom" which in the propheet is just you really as a child, or your "innocence." I thought that was kind of cool, but really ask me anything im interested in talking abouut it. Oh, and to answer a previous question, i got pulled because my parents really decided it was time for me to come home because i had done what was needed out there. I did what I was asked, got something out of the program, stayed in agreement and was respected. All though there was some efforts by some team leaders to try to keep me there, they could not overpower my loving parents, so now i am home. :grin:
-Braden
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Ok, anyways the topic thing got messed up, i was the one who posted the topic "Just Got Out" so please do me a favor and come talk to me I am somewhat lonely to be honest with you, and I will tell you why... The friends I was hanging out with pre RMA were not what me or my parents what like to call "Angels." Well, a lot of them are doing a lot better than they were when i left but my parents still see them in the same light so, I am a bit lonely I dont have anyone to hang out with and it is pretty wierd to be at home. So please drop me a line, keep me company. ::cheers::
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Braden Smith :tup: [ This Message was edited by: bradensmith on 2004-05-12 21:45 ]
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I apoogise for flooding this damn board
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Hey Braden-
I know what you're going through, and I think that anyone who was there for a significant amount of time goes through the same thing when they go back home. Luckily two of my friends from CEDU lived near me when I graduated, so it helped to have them to hang out with. Anyway, you'll probably screw up again in a few months, but pull yourself out of it pretty quickly like most of us who went there. I didn't like being there too much, but I can say that in the long run it taught me a lot, and even though I have made mistakes here and there I am able to recognize why I do what I do and therefore snap out of it. The thing that I really struggled with for the first few months of being back home was re-learning social skills. I was so used to being so upfront with feelings and telling people what they were doing wrong or how I felt about them. I had to re-learn that that is not how people communicate in the real world. So, best of luck to you, and don't worry you will get through it.
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I appreciate it the advice and I feel the same way, RMA did teach me a lot but, I do have the whole CEDU feel now that I am gone and it is hard to express feelings with out coming off really wierd but, i appreciate it and I know that I will screw up but, RMA did teach me to pull out of it. Thanks though, and I will respond to a pervious post later about what RMA is about but thanks a lot and I appreciate it.
-Braden Smith :nworthy:
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Did you go to RMA? Were Lisa Sutton and Glen Sutton still around? I heard they left and then came back.
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Yes, they both still work there, Glenn and Lisa both went to NWA for a time and then came back, Glenn was sequoias team leader and Lisa works flex, as of right now, Glenn is just a counselor, I dont know I think an ATL.
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I forgot about glen and lisa.... they seemed like good people when I was there 10 years ago
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Yea, They are pretty nice people I liked them alot, although Glen, I could really go both ways with that guy. He was nice and all but sometimes he came off a little strong. :smile:
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In answer to some previous question...
RMA or CEDU was a good experience over all but, there were a few problems. I will tell you about some. As some of you may know, Rocky Mountain Academy was started by a group of seven students from CEDU highschool that came to Idaho with a lady named Mare. Anyways, when the school was first designed the agreements, or rules, were first made by the students which was a good idea, because if the students made them, they were thiers and they would follow them and keep the new studens "in agreement with them." Overtime the upperschool slowly faded away. When I was there no one really cared about following the agreements besides me and a few others. This was because to the kids, they werent agreements and they were just rules to be enforced. So of course when you have a lot of kids that are ODD, or oppositional defiant, you will enter some problems. Another huge problem is that in the 15 months that I was there all of the older students either graduated high school or program, or just got pulled, so there was no one to help keep any of the kids in line, basically no one cares anymore. Also the school used to have a lot of structure. A lot of energy was put into explaining the phases. None of this happens anymore, the only reason that kids move up to a different phase anymore is just to get the privialges. It used to be that when you moved up to challenge phase which is almost upperschool, that there was energy put into, kindof drifting you away from RMA a bit and handleing some of your problems on an individual basis as opposed to in raps, to get you ready for the real world. None of the phases are explained anymore so they appear to have no meaning. I believe someone asked, what was fake and what was real... Well the truth is that the way the school is run is off of raps and propheets, that is entirely fake. Kids no days don't do well in group setting of sometimes twenty people, so when they talk it is usually fake because they are scared, that is why some energy has been put in reducing the student number in group sessions. I will be honest, i learned more in that school out of raps and propheets. Before the propheets start working again, they have to be redesigned to accomidate they new melleniums young adults, because the truth is that we are different than the kids in the 1960's when the program was written.
I believe someone asked, who runs the school, Staff or therapists... Hands down the therapists run the school. I had the greatest therapist I will ever have. When i went into his office it was like leaving RMA, I could talk about my problems knowing, they would never leave the room. That is the problem with raps, it is hard to open up when you know that 20 people are listening. Also, the therapists can override any decision that is made by program staff if they dont think that it will help the student taht they are working with. This is a really good thing because the therapipsts are the only ones in the school that have PHD's let alone any degree in social work or counseling. So the truth is the therapist do run most of the school, but for it to be as effective as it should be, they should just take it over, and re-write the program. And please, don't take this as me bashing on all of the staff, because there were a few there that have changed my life in a posotive way, and I have gained friendships with them that will last forever. Also don't take this as me bashing the program, because, I have learned a lot from that place and I have gained a relationship with my parents I couldn't have gotten any place else.
Please keep asking me questions, I would love to answer more, ask me about propheets, the negatives, the posotives, anything. Oh, and I really appreciate the suppoprt, at this time in my life it is something that I really need to stay sane. LOL. (Laughing Out Loud)
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they went back to RMA after leaving northwest? damn, shelia was just driving everybody out. yeah they were alright, Lisa was my first team leader and i didnt know glen too well but he could look straight into you man, it was uncanny. my friend went to live with them for a while after she got out and they were part of some other program where they take kids into their home and stuff, to get them away from psycho families i guess.
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I think he comes from the heart, but is a little to "old school" for me, and when i say that I mean "Mel old school," the unhelthy one.
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Mare died this past year.:smile:
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wow dude thats fucked up that you said that
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Yea man, I didn't know her, but she died when I was at RMA, and there wasn't one person who wasn't upset. I guess she had a big impact on the outdoor part of the school, and a big heart. There is no reason that people should be laughing about her death on this board.
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Is this the truth - I got it from a school director LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA hey Teresa and a cunt therapist at NWA and Lon Woodberry
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Mare was a good person. I am sad to hear about her death. You are right, she was a powerful force and very good for the outdoor programs. They were one of few CEDU strengths.
Very sad very sad. How is her husband. He wrote a letter to the editor recently. He seemed agetated - now I know why.
rest in peace Mare, Sad Sad Sad :cry: Sorry Dan.
max
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Well then, I just wanted to post and say that i am doing a lot better. Now, I have a job, and have been hanging out with some of my friends. Things are going well with my family, but most importantly I think i am truly happy. Hey, and please do not hesitate to ask me questions about the program, Before I forget. ::bangin::
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Braden what do you think of the CEDU PROGRAM?
I think it sucks pig shit.
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Hey I'm not sorry at all. I was glad she died, and it was painful too ::armed:: :flame:
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wow man, you are fucking hateful, there are staff at that school that I would lay down in traffic for, because of the friendships I have with them, and the effort they have put forth to make that school a better place. You just posted one of the dumbest things I have personally ever read and I think that everyone on this board would agree with me. If you are ever going to say something that uneducated again, please do it on another forum, I don't need you wishing that my friends would die.
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I am hateful, and I gotta say it's the only thing that gets me through tough times. Times the depression was pretty tough. I had the slide racked back, safety off with four pounds of pressure between me and 230 grains of Federal Hydra-Shok lead traveling at 870 feet per second for my brain stem. But my need to see them hurt was greater than my need to escape my pain and I put the pistol down. Shit, the only people I saw making BCA a better place was us kids. Those nice walkways?? Yeah, that was me and others on full times and work assignments. All the rock under the dorm deck?? us. The wood corral?? the pig pen?? we did it. Maybe that is what galls me, that I had to help build the place up so more kids could be packed in. You see those old pictures of the Jews in the 40 and 8 rail cars headed for Aushwitz, Treblinka, Bergen-Belsen, Birkenau, the pictures of soldiers in Vietnam looking right at you, but right through you at the same time. I see pictures like that, I see my friends. They were just kids, they never did anything to deserve that. I can honestly say that your favorite staff had enemies. Staff I liked, well my friend didn't that was how it went. I still have my short timer calender from when I was there, slash marks for every day I spent there. Which tells me that I really didn't like it very much, and the older I get the more I resent them. I know they gave me lots of nifty tools to deal with this sort of situation, but I choose not to use them, because I remember the situations they were shoved down my throat in. So you can hug you stuffy for all it's worth, and try to make some good out of the bad, it ain't gonna work, I tried. The longer you try to lie to yourself, the worse it will get.
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HELL ON WHEELS is a perfect example of how a "bad" program can make a so-called troubled teen worse.
To place pain upon pain is never gain. It only compounds the problem, leaving the person either withdrawn or angry, OR both. Especially when you are dealing with a young and sensitive individual. To suppress the anger could also be dangerous. I think it's OK to be angry. Anger is an emotion. But, anger can be used in a positive way. I was very much hurt and angry when I learned of HOW inhumanely my daughter was treated in the days up until she died. What proved to be helpful and healthy for me, was to strike back in a positive way. As I stood up for what I knew to be right I was able to work through the anger and put things in perspective. I learned how to "forgive" but NOT "excuse" what was done to my daughter in the "name of help and therapy." There is a BIG difference between forgiving someone, and excusing them. No one asked me to forgive them. The forgiving them was for me, so I could do the work I needed to, in order to make a difference in this lucrative, "out of control" industry. Negative anger creates poison in our minds and spirits and then we can't help anyone. Not even ourselves.
These programs need to stop with the ONE SIZE FITS ALL Philosophy.
No one is screening these children to see what therapy would be best for each individual person.
They also need to stop with the brainwashing. It takes much longer to heal from mental abuse than physical abuse. If a person has suffered BOTH, have compassion for this individual and slap a Civil Suit on this program for damages that were inflicted upon him/her.
Until there is a National Outcry that says to the many children who suffered neglect, abuse, molestation, degradation, starvation, etc. (Concentration Camp Style), these children CANNOT heal from what was done TO them in the UNGODLY name of "help and therapy." I believe with all my heart that the so-called help many of these children are receiving is Anti-Christlike. Someone needs to ask God, NOT "who is right," BUT "what is right." These children belong to HIM, not US.
Hang in there hell on wheels. Don't do to them what was done to you. Then you have reduced yourself to their ungodly level. Step up to the plate and strike back in a positive way. Let the truth be known to the world.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is, perhaps, the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
--James Madison
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MSMEMFUND
"Campsafety is Everyone's Business"[ This Message was edited by: cmpsfty on 2004-05-30 15:00 ]
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Hell on Wheels, I will be honested I was a little pissed at you when you said that you wanted everyone who had a paycheck from CEDU to die, but now I guess I know where you are coming from. Although I do not agree with you, I do understand now why the negativity gets you by. I apologise for responding with such a harsh post, but it caught me off guard, because there are many people at that school who try so hard, to change it for the better, and lose so many battles. Although it may be difficult for you to see because BCA is not like that at all, RMA is a very contraversal campus. We have a divide between staff, we have the staff that want it to stay the same and we have people that FIGHT for change, I guess that does not happen at BCA, but let me tell you, people get fired for it at RMA. So anyways this message is basically just to apologise for my harsheness, and encourage you to speak a little more about your negative feelings about CEDU, because it sounds to me like that is what you need. Oh, and also compliments to the post before me. Thanks a lot, and don't stop speaking yo'mind.
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Oh hell on wheels, give me yo' phone number I would kind of like to talk to you one on one, if you want to or feel comforatble giving it to me, and if you don't want to post it, send it to braden_252@hotmail.com thanks man, and take care.
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I cried today when I read the post from HELL ON WHEELS. The previous two posts made me smile :smile:
Thank you!
We are all survivors here and need to support one another.
I could feel hell on wheels pain and it disturbed me so. I understood his anger. Don't be afraid of this anger. Like I said, "anger is an emotion."
It is good that you reach out to one another. That's what Jesus would do.
Good night all. Thanks again for the smile on my face.
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
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Anonymous . . . for obvious reasons
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MSMEMFUND
"Campsafety is Everyone's Business"
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Yea, I can feel some of your pain Hell on wheels, I developed an Anxiety problem which I will talk more about later, but basically, just the way the school was run, the agreements, and talking about all of your disclosures, caused a giant anxiety problem, whichi is actually some of the reason I got pulled. My anxiety all started after the dreams propheet, when I really took a serious look at my disclosures. The truth is, it never stopped. For about 8 months, I beat myself up daily which i guess you could say eventually lead me to getting pulled. I think the main reason why I was so scared was because I didn't feel like I could hide anything and feel good about it. The only way I could feel good is if I told everyone everything about me, all my disclosures and everything, and it just ended up making me feel worse. Every person to a certain degree has things that they should be able to hide to feel comforable inside there skin. I didn't have that, thus, my anxiety. It sucks because towards the end of my stay, some staff there tried to use my anxiety to there advantage, which i might say is pretty damn messed up. I think a lot of it, is just the level of analyizing that goes on there. The floornotes, team leader meetings, voicemails, meetings in the bridge, you guys all know what I am talking about, just the way that place is run has great potential to cause some problems. Basically you can't hide anything there, it will be forced out of you, and that is not healthy, sharing disclosures in groups of people like raps and propheets, dosn't help only makes things worse, and in my case made things very worse. Hell On wheels, if you feel comfortable, e-mail me your phone number, we should talk. Braden_252@hotmail.com I am glad I have people to talk to that understand. Thankyou everyone and I appreciate the support, I am having a tough time being home because it is tought to find someone to talk to one on one that will actually understand the way my head works, and the shit I have been through, so don't stop posting. I need to hear from you people.
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Half the battle is finding a support group where people do understand. Sounds like this is the place to be.
I have found there to be a lot of brainwashing taking place in this industry. Like I said, it takes longer to heal from "mind-abuse" than it does physical abuse.
When I have a problem or feel I have done something wrong, I take it to God or my Bishop. I believe that repentence is something personal and private. Repentence is meant to be a spiritual experience. One that is supposed to make you feel good inside (better).
I have found some programs to be playing God. I don't quite understand these Profeets. Perhaps you could explain them to me.
I don't want to judge something I really don't know much about, or understand. But it does sound a little cultish to me. The way to know if something is mind abuse (a cult) is when you are being TOLD how to "think, feel and act."
If you think about it, God doesn't tell us what to do. He may try to persuade (convince) us. But HE leaves us to our own conscience and of course hopes we will make the right decisions.
I believe we were put upon this earth to exercise our own free agency. Jesus as our example to follow.
Please explain these Profeets to me. I would like to learn more about them.
My daughter died in a Wilderness Program. They were into brainwashing the kids. But, I don't know anything about Profeets.
If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.
--Thomas Paine
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propheet songs still make me sad. cedualumni.com has them all.
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Yea, I went to that site and I downloaded, the imagine and Rose song, and that sure as hell brings back some old memories...Bad ones.....
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hey braden
i recently graduated the program at RMA. the program has changed but not nearly enough. Maby by now it has with all the new changes. i heard that they are now advertising using AA. this amazes me because it was a fight and a half to get it started there. i was the last(hopefuly) peergroup to really deal with the bull shit that RMA used to dish out. You (braden) were put through some shit and they fucked with u. for that i am sorry. i am hopeful that it will turn out for the better. the one and only
Cammy wolf
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CAMMY WOLF!!!!
Whats up man, I really appreciate you dropping me a line, How are you? Oh, and how is the sobriety going, I know being home must be a challenge. Have you been doing on Bobby-Q'in? I sure as hell hope so, I have been doing a little bit. And let me say, there was a lot of bullshit going on at RMA, even though it did help me, some people did get fucked with, I think you got the full effect on some of it. Anyways man, just to keep you informed, RMA, and NWA are switching campuss's. All the students and staff, are swapping campuss's because NWA is busting at the seems with there numbers and RMA to say the least, is not. So, RMA is going to a smaller campuss and visa versa. Anyways man, take care and give me a call sometime, I have some more shit to tell you. Lemme just say this, they got rid of some more people at RMA. Staff wise.
Take care man
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On 2004-05-13 17:55:00, PosterChild wrote:
"Hey Braden-
The thing that I really struggled with for the first few months of being back home was re-learning social skills. I was so used to being so upfront with feelings and telling people what they were doing wrong or how I felt about them. I had to re-learn that that is not how people communicate in the real world.
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no doubt... that's what i struggled with too; for so long, i thought that it was ok to be confrontational and abrasive when trying to communicate with people. i've since realized that there's a way to deal with people without dehumanizing them, while maintining the integrity of what you need to say. people are people... they respond optimally to different communicational tactics. i wish they'd learn that up at cedu.
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Whats Up Laura? I went to cedu with you. My name is Aaron Maison. Do you remember me? I remember you. Lets Talk.
-apmaison@comcast.net
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this forum is too fucking cool.
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On 2004-05-13 13:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I have always heard that CEDU parents are fed a lot of BS about how "children are special or different, as in the lateresa or rather primary education metaphor (stolen by lateresa) "purple cows" posted on this site. What was it really like? What did you buy into and what did you not buy into? How is it better or worse than it was? Why? Are the staff in charge or the therapists? What is Real? What is Fake? "
Lemme tell ya a lil somethin about "real & fake" at CEDU: there isn't a real clear line defining reality & bullshit. The things that were drilled into our heads about being better people after we got out were pure opinion. Who's to say we were bad people anyway?! The truth about that place is that you meet some of the most amazing people you'll ever meet ever again, some of us felt true love for the first time, and some people came out even more messed up than they were when they got there. The truth is, if you got something out of CEDU, it was probably just because of your own accord. ::bangin::
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On 2004-05-26 14:43:00, bradensmith wrote:
"Well then, I just wanted to post and say that i am doing a lot better. Now, I have a job, and have been hanging out with some of my friends. Things are going well with my family, but most importantly I think i am truly happy. Hey, and please do not hesitate to ask me questions about the program, Before I forget. ::bangin::
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Hey Bra? Either you're happy or you aren't, they should have taught you the difference in your great experience. :roll:
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On 2004-06-08 18:29:00, JehniJoon wrote:
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On 2004-05-13 13:50:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I have always heard that CEDU parents are fed a lot of BS about how "children are special or different, as in the lateresa or rather primary education metaphor (stolen by lateresa) "purple cows" posted on this site. What was it really like? What did you buy into and what did you not buy into? How is it better or worse than it was? Why? Are the staff in charge or the therapists? What is Real? What is Fake? "
Lemme tell ya a lil somethin about "real & fake" at CEDU: there isn't a real clear line defining reality & bullshit. The things that were drilled into our heads about being better people after we got out were pure opinion. Who's to say we were bad people anyway?! The truth about that place is that you meet some of the most amazing people you'll ever meet ever again, some of us felt true love for the first time, and some people came out even more messed up than they were when they got there. The truth is, if you got something out of CEDU, it was probably just because of your own accord. ::bangin::
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Jehni Nelson: Head of the House Commitee (HA! HA! HA!)
CEDU victim: 1997-1999
REVOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm your friend till the end
ahhh... this is why i love you, jehni.
that signature just makes it even more beautiful... haha.
thanks for never exercising your older student responsibilities on me, the easiest target in the school.
oh shit, did i just expose an unspoken "contract"?
:eek:
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mark wasserman ? tell us