Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: ehm on October 26, 2003, 11:25:00 AM
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With my mother in them. Me, always trying to, "get away" or "get home." I'm so tired of them. I only seem to get them now around 3-4 times a month, but still, that's a lot. That's why I woke up early to begin with this morning. She's frequently trying to kill me in one way or another in them. I can't stand my mother. I have good reason, but still am tired of the dreams. I wonder if I'll always have Straight/Mother dreams or if they'll eventually fade out. Do we ever fully forget what we have been through? I really doubt it.
::boohoo:: Random quote pertaining in no way to the subject above. -- Random Name
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Yeah, my program dreams end differently now. I win. I get away or they quit chasing or something.
The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
--Thomas Jefferson
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For the longest time, I had dreams of being back in high school, only things were entirely different. I even had a recurring dream in my late twenties where I was back in school as a student, and everyone knew damn well just how old I was, yet it was all cool, because it was something that I "had to see through to the end."
The dreams always ended with me trying to prove that I never graduated high school, that I had been in the Straight Program, and none of it had been real, and that the state owed me a more solid education because of all the things that were taken away. In the dream the office people would always act very sympathetic and then the Guidance Counselor would say he had someone who wished to speak with me on the phone. This is where the nightmare would really begin, because it would always be someone from whatever job I had at the time wondering when I would be coming back to work. Usually, the alarm clock would ring and scare the crap out of me, and I would wake up feeling foolish.
In my thirties, the dreams became more like true nightmares. Most of them involved work, only with a straight twist. My current employers and co-workers would "star" in them, but there were a lot of people from the program that would pop in and out of them. Most ot these dreams would become nightmares in which I would become violent. I busted a lot of table lamps, ceiling fans, chairs, and sleepwalked in this time period. I finally asked my Therapist if there was any medication to help me sleep better without knocking me out or having a hangover effect the next day. After about 4 false starts, we finally settled on Visteril. It is some great stuff. It knocks out the anxiety center of the brain, but leaves everything else alone, so it is pretty much safe to drive a car and stuff. After Visteril, my dreams took on a Technicolor effect and pretty much played like a good movie all night. I also awoke to having a much better outlook on things and had quite a bit more energy.
I still have a bit of a sleep disorder, but I bought this over the counter crap called Snor-enz and it works pretty good for Late Night TV Commercial Stuff. One of the blessings of having my pet Macaw is that Charo will let me know if I've been having nightmares by either snoring at me in the morning, or she will be really shy. I found that one of the best tools to get over a really bad nightmare is to get out of bed and write about it. After a page or two, it is really easy to get back to sleep.