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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: none-ya on October 09, 2010, 06:34:07 PM

Title: oldcommers
Post by: none-ya on October 09, 2010, 06:34:07 PM
I wasn't really sure where to ask this question.I'm not sure how many programs other than the seed and Str8
useed "host" families or oldcommers to house residents. Has anyone ever contacted your old commer after a long time? Did they acknowledge you? I recently found mine (just contact info) and I'm not sure how to approach him.I lived with his family for 3 months. I wonder If his wife and kids even know he once belonged to a cult.Here's a can of worms to chew on, How do I approach this guy?
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Pile of Dead Kids on October 09, 2010, 11:20:08 PM
With a firearm in your back pocket. If it's not loaded with hollow-point and at least .38 caliber, you're doing it wrong.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: BuzzKill on October 10, 2010, 10:23:29 AM
PofDK - what is the matter with you? An oldcomer is just as much a program victim as the newcomer. They just have seniority.

I'd advise a phone call - or maybe a letter. Just say hello - how are you - I have found my experience to have been an abusive mind fuk and have had a hard time forgiving (if this is the case) and I wonder how you feel about it now after all this time? You might be ignored or deluged with pro-program crap and pablum, or you might find you have opened a path to a healing dialog for the both of you.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Anne Bonney on October 10, 2010, 04:10:58 PM
None-ya....shoot me a PM if you're really interested.  I've done it and to one of the people (staff...he was a Senior staff that went to the same school as I did when I came in) who scare shit living shit out of me while I was in there. And in public.  It ended up with his wife crying, yelling at him & hitting him, telling him to listen to me.  He finally did.  It's not like he truly accepted responsibility for what he'd done, but it did make him start to think about things.  And I'm sure it made for an interesting evening at home for him as well.  :nods:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 14, 2010, 07:35:57 PM
In Straight at least 90 percent of the kids in the program would progress to at least second phase at some point, at which point they became "oldcomers". So virtually all of us had newcomers under our control at some point. Some oldcomers were dicks and some were nice. It just depended on the individual. I don't think anybody would have anything particularly bad to say about me. I hated every aspect of the whole thing. I was washed and doing whatever the cult demanded by that point.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: none-ya on December 14, 2010, 07:49:09 PM
After I was a newcommer living at home,They talked with my parents about brining a newcomer homewith us. Thank god I was able split when I did. That would have been a diaster for sure. (me sneeking out at night and all). There's no way I could have ever chased anyone down if they bolted, like I tried to do my first week there.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Rusty Goat on December 14, 2010, 08:12:57 PM
for what it's worth, I believe that in these wwasp programs, their level system is strikingly similar to straight inc. One big difference though... Consider what it would be like to be a wwasp newcomer (Level 1), a couple thousand or several thousand miles from home, your parents are being charged 50 cents for your audible farts, and you never leave the compound where you have been sent. Instead of getting that breath of fresh air walking to the host home car, you get to stay in the fart infested company of your fellow newcomers and higher level peers 24/7 until you turn 18 and are not allowed to go home to your family, unless you succumb to the cult and 'progress' to graduation day.

That being said, out of all the programs we 'watched' in the ISAC days, I never heard of another program that used host homes except for pathway family center, safe inc... khk, etc... but remember, those were the ones that took over the treatment arm of the DFAF (straight inc) when it changed its name.
RG
 :cheers:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: none-ya on December 14, 2010, 09:19:35 PM
I opted  for the seed over jail which believe me is a 24 /7 deal , and was actully better than the program.(in the long run)
24/7 progream? = hell.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 14, 2010, 09:56:18 PM
Yeah some of the oldcomers were more fucked-up than the newcomers.....and some of the families holy fuck, had a cool-aid IV,and enema working whilst they guzzled the shit too. I couldnt take the constant chin music. The only foster Id make time to see would be woof. He had a grip, And his family (unlike mine) didnt scream at each other all the goddamn time.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 15, 2010, 09:15:34 AM
Quote from: "Pile of Dead Kids"
With a firearm in your back pocket. If it's not loaded with hollow-point and at least .38 caliber, you're doing it wrong.

            if you  really wanna do it up I reccomend 158 grain,semi-jacketed hollow points in a 38. the fbi used that load for decades......and for good reason :nods:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 15, 2010, 04:44:59 PM
Quote from: "seamus"
Quote from: "Pile of Dead Kids"
With a firearm in your back pocket. If it's not loaded with hollow-point and at least .38 caliber, you're doing it wrong.

            if you  really wanna do it up I reccomend 158 grain,semi-jacketed hollow points in a 38. the fbi used that load for decades......and for good reason :nods:

Thats what i'm screamin about. Take it back old school with a 38 special. All these kids today with their fancy 9mm and 40 cal. Back in my day a good ol Smith and Wesson 38 was all we needed.
 :clown:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 15, 2010, 08:20:34 PM
personally my preferance is for ruger flat-tops in 44, or 1911 colts, glock model21s  in 45 cool too  i own a 9 but call it my bitch gun. Carried a colt in38 as a back up for years but my issue was a sig 220 in 45. I fuckin LOVE guns.  :nods:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 16, 2010, 11:49:07 AM
Quote from: "seamus"
personally my preferance is for ruger flat-tops in 44, or 1911 colts, glock model21s  in 45 cool too  i own a 9 but call it my bitch gun. Carried a colt in38 as a back up for years but my issue was a sig 220 in 45. I fuckin LOVE guns.  :nods:

Yeah I love em too. I was just fuckin around in that previous post. I have an ever expanding arsenal myself. Back when I was young and foolish I traded away some spectacular weapons that I really wish I had back now. Mauser 8mm (WW2 german model), Thompson 45, 30cal carbine, AK bullpup, etc. Back then, I would go to a gun show and see something that looked cool so I would trade one of my other guns for it. God, the regrets, I should have kept them all cause the values have increased so much in the last 20 years. Maybe I'll get rich soon and my arsenal will be restored to its former glory. LOL
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: none-ya on December 16, 2010, 03:22:36 PM
I would just like to say for the record. That My intent was not to confront my oldcommer with a gun. I don't own guns. idon't like guns. Too many times in my life when I might have shot someone if I had one.I don't care what the tv tells you Violence is never a good option. Hand guns are designed to kill human beings.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Botched Programming on December 16, 2010, 03:31:35 PM
Not all my oldcomers were pieces of brainwashed crap... A few I would like to confront, however I would have a beer or two with a couple of my old host families...
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: none-ya on December 16, 2010, 03:56:50 PM
I believe mine (and I only had 1) are big time born again christians. They always have that to fall back on (or hide behind)
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 16, 2010, 04:33:07 PM
At Straight, newcomers were rotated between oldcomer houses almost constantly. So a newcomer could go thru many oldcomers before becoming one himself. My first oldcomer was a tool. He had done my intake and had it in for me right from the start. Luckily I was moved to a new house after a couple of weeks. The same asshole got kicked out of Straight a few months later for having a "guy-guy relationship" with one of his host-brothers. The fucking bizarro world of Straight inc.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 17, 2010, 04:49:26 AM
wasb that the famous "tampa Clique"?   II heard reference to it bu it was slightly before my time. :deal:


     Besides there was no foster as fucked up as the mereks,or worse yet the buicks.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: AuntieEm2 on December 17, 2010, 03:00:42 PM
I can't comment based on personal experience in a program, but I feel like you might open yourself to being hurt again. I would give some thought as to what exactly you want from this person or persons. If you are hoping they will apologize or say "Yes, we mistreated you," or be concerned about the long-term consequences of the abuse you suffered in the program, then I think you're probably shopping in the wrong store, and may be disappointed or hurt. If that risk is okay/worth it, and you still hope for the possibiity of a good outcome or dialogue, then maybe start by saying that you've recently spent some time thinking about your time in the program and wondered if they would want to talk with you further about it. Have some questions ready so that you can guide the conversation, rather than leaving it in their hands.

Take care.

Auntie Em
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 17, 2010, 03:37:29 PM
Quote from: "seamus"
wasb that the famous "tampa Clique"?   II heard reference to it bu it was slightly before my time. :deal:


     Besides there was no foster as fucked up as the mereks,or worse yet the buicks.

Naw, this was in the Atlanta bldg. Never heard bout the "tampa clique". Care to share with the group?
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 18, 2010, 05:29:57 AM
now mind you I dont have !st hand Knowledge of this, it was talked about in rather hushed tones, But..... supposedly there was a group of 3rd/4th phasers who were smokin dope and coming inta group high and shit. also roumor went around bout some homo stuff with them too.....was refered to as the "Tampa clique " now as I wasnt there I have abso fuckinglutley no idea how true or false that was( so much for confidentuality , huh) but mfrs used to talk about that shit and it was CREEPY.... Now there people who would know more than me about it, cause they were  there before me, but I wont say who they are cause its not my business if they elaborte on the tale or not.I just wont fuck with another vet,especially a same era vet, (man not much gets my respect, but that does,) Cause we know......The people I love ........Id eat a bullet for in a quick...past that the whole round world can suck dick and die...mebbee well start a thread. maybe i sound like a fuckhead but thats how I am......and  I just dont care. lemme start a thread......see if anybody wants in.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: seamus on December 18, 2010, 05:41:44 AM
Quote from: "AuntieEm2"
I can't comment based on personal experience in a program, but I feel like you might open yourself to being hurt again. I would give some thought as to what exactly you want from this person or persons. If you are hoping they will apologize or say "Yes, we mistreated you," or be concerned about the long-term consequences of the abuse you suffered in the program, then I think you're probably shopping in the wrong store, and may be disappointed or hurt. If that risk is okay/worth it, and you still hope for the possibiity of a good outcome or dialogue, then maybe start by saying that you've recently spent some time thinking about your time in the program and wondered if they would want to talk with you further about it. Have sothey would have to make this admission to thme questions ready so that you can guide the conversation, rather than leaving it in their hands.

Take care.

Auntie Em
darlin I always liked you, allways think your posts come from a great place,and I see the empathy that they contain,now please dont take this badly but, long ago I gave up the idea of ANYBODY from my program apologising ever. its just not gonna happen. nSimple reason being that in order to make a REAL and SINCERE apology, one would have to admit that theyed done wrong.......If I think thats gonna happen....I wont hold my breath.... :wall:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Froderik on December 18, 2010, 04:31:31 PM
Yeah, there are some people who've got a dark alley waiting for them...

Forgiveness? Not in all cases..

 :twofinger:
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: AuntieEm2 on December 19, 2010, 01:19:33 PM
[/quote]
darlin I always liked you, allways think your posts come from a great place,and I see the empathy that they contain,now please dont take this badly but, long ago I gave up the idea of ANYBODY from my program apologising ever. its just not gonna happen. nSimple reason being that in order to make a REAL and SINCERE apology, one would have to admit that theyed done wrong.......If I think thats gonna happen....I wont hold my breath.... :wall:[/quote]

Thanks for your kind words, and this is my point exactly. I can't imagine them apologizing, and so why contact them? Even contacting them to tell them the harm they did opens a person up to getting hurt again.

Auntie Em
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: Froderik on December 19, 2010, 01:27:07 PM
Quote from: "AuntieEm2"
Thanks for your kind words, and this is my point exactly. I can't imagine them apologizing, and so why contact them? Even contacting them to tell them the harm they did opens a person up to getting hurt again.

Auntie Em

I hear ya, the only reason I'd consider it would be to arrange to give them a royal ass-kicking, for what that would be worth.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: shaggys on December 19, 2010, 01:43:23 PM
Quote from: "Froderik"
Quote from: "AuntieEm2"
Thanks for your kind words, and this is my point exactly. I can't imagine them apologizing, and so why contact them? Even contacting them to tell them the harm they did opens a person up to getting hurt again.

Auntie Em

I hear ya, the only reason I'd consider it would be to arrange to give them a royal ass-kicking, for what that would be worth.

And this exact thing has happened at least once before. I think the story is already on one of the Atlanta Straight threads so i wont repeat it except to say former newcomer beat the shit out of former oldcomer and it was pretty cool. I knew both of them from our Straight days and IMO the dude did have an ass-kicking coming to him.
Title: Re: oldcommers
Post by: AuntieEm2 on December 20, 2010, 09:46:51 AM
I believe deeply in justice and restitution for the harm that survivors have endured, but as you might guess, I can't support acts of violence. Revenge looks good in the movies, but in reality, when you hurt others you actually pay a great emotional price yourself. I know I sound like an old geezer here, and I know many won't agree, but in my experience, you can't make the hurt go away by generating more hurt.

I don't mean to touch off a debate--how can I blame people for raging at injustice?--so just take my advice or leave it, and know that I have great compassion for survivors for all the abuse, maltreatment, neglect and death that teens are subjected to in these programs. Be well, and find some peace through living a good life.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." -- Ernest Hemingway

Auntie Em