Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Anne Bonney on March 05, 2010, 02:46:57 PM
-
Shamelessly stolen from the Orange Papers site.
12 Ways to have fun at a coercely-attended NA/AA meeting
Date: 2009-10-18, 1:39PM
* 1.) Bring along some rock-salt (or a little tar, or powdered sugar!) wrapped in cellophane. Leave it in a conspicuous place, like next to the coffee pot! (Listen for a scream from the bathroom shortly!)
* 2.) Steal the coffee pot! Hold it hostage until your card is signed. (Trust me, its more important than you are, or anyone else who is there!)
* 3.) When asked to announce yourself, say, "My name is Agent ______, I work for the DEA, and I sure see some familiar faces here!"
* 4.) Volunteer to read the steps, then do it really, REALLY FAST (like you are yakked on coke, or meth! . Offer to read the entire book — right then and there — in 30 seconds!
* 5.) Ask if the connections are inside, outside, and if they have any "12-Step deals" going on!
* 6.) When the time comes for "announcements", announce that since its impossible for coercing authorities to truly verify whether a "court-card attendee" attended, that everyone can just sign their own card, and then leave. And the secretary is hereby fired.
* 7.) Inform the "old timers" that they no longer meet criteria to remain in the group as they no longer have a "desire" to BECOME clean/sober if they are already clean/sober (one is a thought — the other an ACTION!)
* 8.) Ask how many Big Books it takes for a good bonfire (I am guessing, 12?)
* 9.) Ask about the orgies that are rumored to occur at "conventions"!
* 10.) Bring a notepad and camera-phone. Explain its for "research" purposes, and "findings" will be posted on YouTube shortly!
* 11.) Volunteer to do the closing prayer. Pretend to nod off during it. Several times. Become irate if someone offers to finish it for you. Maintain death grips on the people you are holding hands with!
* 12.) Ask which of the 12-Steps actually apply to any individuals, since none of them have personal pronouns like "I", or "me" or "you" in them!
-
Anne,
Would you please take it up with the Judge....AA did not force you there so please don't take it out on the room or the people...Thanks...danny
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
You sound as testy as the devotees that write hate mail to Agent Orange.
I have taken it up with Judges. Both professionally (I'm a paralegal) and personally. Most of them totally agree and wish that AA itself would take a stand and say that they will no longer accept court orders. As do I. But, they won't. Now, I do give props to the few individuals at AA that refuse to sign slips for that very reason, but they're few and far between.
Why is it such a problem for you that there are legitimate criticisms of AA? If it works for you, great. Not everyone shares that view though.
-
I support Danny 100%. It is easy to blame someone else when you dug yourself a hole and had to comply with a court order. I commend Danny on the stance he is taking.
Funny how you can make that judgment knowing absolutely NOTHING about the circumstances that led me to be court ordered, huh? Typical
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Anne Bonney,
What treatment do you suggest for alcoholics?
Stop drinking.
-
What circumstances are you referring to? I am all ears.
Why? You've already made your judgment.
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
That is not realistic for everyone and I know you're aware of that.
Actually, it is. Even those that, ahem, religiously attend AA meetings. It wouldn't have "worked" if they hadn't simply made the decision to stop. When people are sick enough of feeling the way they are, they'll quit. Some don't ever get to that point and they die. Some don't ever stop smoking or eating junk food. It happens. We are all responsible for our own decisions (barring any clinically defined physiological disorder). That's really it.
But, there is assistance out there without having to join a cult. Here are some...
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html (http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html)
http://www.smartrecovery.org/ (http://www.smartrecovery.org/)
http://www.sossobriety.org/ (http://www.sossobriety.org/)
-
Anne Bonney,
What treatment do you suggest for alcoholics?
Stop drinking.
That is not realistic for everyone and I know you're aware of that.
How so? Quit blaming some fictitious "disease" for a conscious decision to ingest liquids of an intoxicating nature. Sounds a bit too much like "the devil made me do it". Drink or don't drink, but accept the responsibility for the decision.
For withdrawal symptoms, medical assistance should be sought. "Powerlessness" is a myth that is all too often used to justify any behavior that the person wants it to. There is no medical condition that compels someone, to the point of overriding their voluntary nervous system, to consume beverages against their will. "I have a disease" is just an excuse to justify engaging in irresponsible and potentially dangerous behavior. South Park did a wonderful episode illustrating the ridiculous nature of the "disease model". I suggest you watch it and take notes, Joel.
-
How so? Quit blaming some fictitious "disease" for a conscious decision to ingest liquids of an intoxicating nature. Sounds a bit too much like "the devil made me do it". Drink or don't drink, but accept the responsibility for the decision.
For withdrawal symptoms, medical assistance should be sought. "Powerlessness" is a myth that is all too often used to justify any behavior that the person wants it too. There is no medical condition that compels someone, to the point of overriding their voluntary nervous system, to consume beverages against their will. "I have a disease" is just an excuse to justify engaging in irresponsible and potentially dangerous behavior. South Park did a wonderful episode illustrating the ridiculous nature of the "disease model". I suggest you watch it and take notes, Joel.
BINGO!!!!
Love ya honey! Miss you!!
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Your acceptance of AA/NA/Stepcraft implies that you accept the disease model, as they do. I mean, if you took away the disease model, the concept of powerlessness, and the religious nature of the program, then I wouldn't think of it as being harmful. Then again, if you took away those aspects of the program, it would cease to be AA/NA/Stepcraft.
You are engaging in double talk and sideSTEPping the issue, which is what I have come to expect from 12 Step devotees. I bring up the cornerstone of the 12 Step Religion, the disease model, and suddenly I'm putting words in your mouth. Bullshit. I'm just bringing to light one of the many, many outdated, flawed, and inherently wrong (on many levels) aspects of the program, and you say "that's not how I feel". Well, excuse me........I mean, you're carrying the 12 Step torch but I am wrong for assuming you believe their dogma? If I saw someone goose-STEPping and waving a Nazi flag, I think I'd be pretty safe in assuming they didn't like Jews. I see you propagating 12 Step mythology and I assume you believe the rest of their fables as well. Seems consistent to me, but maybe you're one of the AA types that doesn't accept the dogma hook, line and sinker, which is kind of like "Christians Against Jesus".....makes no sense whatsoever, but you are right in inferring I have no idea how your thought process works.
-
You sound as testy as the devotees that write hate mail to Agent Orange.
I have taken it up with Judges. Both professionally (I'm a paralegal) and personally. Most of them totally agree and wish that AA itself would take a stand and say that they will no longer accept court orders. As do I. But, they won't. Now, I do give props to the few individuals at AA that refuse to sign slips for that very reason, but they're few and far between.
Why is it such a problem for you that there are legitimate criticisms of AA? If it works for you, great. Not everyone shares that view though.
This is what I mean by posting bunk, show me where in this entire country that the judicial system has stated they would like AA to stop taking people they send. That is my first problem here, second we have to because if they express a desire to not drink
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Anne Bonney,
What treatment do you suggest for alcoholics?
Stop drinking.
That is not realistic for everyone and I know you're aware of that.
It is realistic. It's unrealistic to expect a higher power to do it for you, or has done it for you. Even by Christian standards, God gave men free will to fuck up or succeed on their own. Drinking to excess is listed explicitly as a sin, not a disease, in the Bible. It amazes me how so many Christians can attend AA and not understand the heretical nature of their teachings. At it's core it denies that man has free will, stating instead that a substance can make a person "powerless" when in reality picking up a drink (yes, each one) is a conscious choice, as is the choice to quit.
Smoking is a behavior. Cancer is a disease. Promiscuous sex is a behavior. STDs are diseases. Snorting cocaine is a behavior. A deviated septum is a disease. Drinking is a behavior. Cirrhosis of the liver is a disease. All behaviors are choices, and while they might result in diseases as a consequence, a pattern of behavior is not in itself a disease. A person with cancer cannot "quit" cancer. A person with AIDS cannot "quit" aids. The element of choice, the exercise of free will, is what makes drinking to excess a behavior and not a disease.
So why do so many AA supporters maintain that alcoholism is a disease? Because it's a lot easier for people who have fucked up their life and hurt others to blame it on an inanimate substance than it is to take full responsibility for the bad choices they have made, and the consequences of those choices. A person who has killed a kid while drunk driving is far more likely to say "i was sick" so they can live with themselves than "I killed that kid, there is no excuse, and I should probably either find a way to live with what I've done or eat my gun".
AA does not work. Sure there is anecdotal evidence all over the place of people claiming the program saved their lives, but statistically, those people would be sober anyway. The rate at which AA works is actually worse than the rate people quit drinking on their own, with no aid other than with their free will. How do we know this? Because there have been double blind studies done with court offenders (such as the Brandsma study). What's also interesting is that often the people who do the worst with the AA program are the most emphatic in their claims that the program is saving their lives.
Of course we already know this. Everybody has seen kids coming out of programs claiming the program saved their lives from addiction -- kids who never had actual drinking problems to begin with, only to identify with the "addict" identity in the program and act it out on release, drinking alcoholically and using drugs to excess. Why do they do this? Because they are indoctrinated to believe they cannot help themselves. They've learned to be powerless (http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness), and as such, don't bother trying. This alone explains why the rate of binge drinking for AA members is 5 times higher than those who quit on their own in the Brandsma study (http://http://orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html#powerless_binge). And let's be clear. The participants in the study were selected randomly from the same group of court ordered offenders. There has never been a single study, not a single one, to show that AA works better than nothing at all.
Why is AA so popular then? It's free, it makes people feel good even when they shouldn't, and it's 12th step spreads it's ideology like a virus. It's influence has so permeated modern society it's difficult to listen to an album or watch a TV show without being bombarded with it's philosophy and lingo. From birth people are exposed to what they see as the "truth" about alcoholism and the "cure". It's been a silent, subtle takeover by an objectively false belief system masquerading as the truth, masquerading as science, and one that suppresses all other beliefs as "dangerous". Like a cult, the AA way is the only way to sobriety, to salvation (there is doublespeak on this within AA. I'd be glad to discuss it.). I won't go so far as to say it's a full blown cult Cult, but I will say that many of AA's practices are very cult like, and that the way it spreads is in many ways something cults like Scientology and the Unification Church could only dream of.
Let's be clear. I have no problem with people voluntarily believing a lie in order for them to feel better about their lives. It's their choice. What I have a problem with is forced (by the state, workplace, or parents) indoctrination into this belief system that is based more around a religion, a feel-good lie, than around science or objective truth. Actually. Let me clarify. I have a problem with forced treatment of any kind, AA or otherwise (i prefer straight out punishment for non-consensual crimes, and no punishment for consensual), but AA is especially bad because it is religious in nature and as such, sentencing to AA violates the establishment clause of the first amendment.
If you got sober through AA, pat yourself on the back. You did well for yourself. It wasn't the program and it certainly wasn't the higher power. Smile at your own accomplishments.
-
# 13- Sit in the front row and masturbate.
-
edited
-
Say, did you hear the one about the priest, the alcoholic, and the pedophile?
And that was just the FIRST guy.... :roflmao: :cheers: :notworthy:
-
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Well it all makes sense when your not a "alcoholic" you can pontificate from your soap box especially
when there's no sense of urgency. All these theories are great but here is my problem, I am getting all this feedback from folks that drink and smoke pot (which is fine no problem with me) but "WTF".
Please give it a rest, OK you did not like AA, you wanted to drink and be merry so be merry.
Happy, Joyfulness and Free.
The other thing I've noticed all this no-god and self-will, ME ME ME....most of ya are single, live w/mommy, (if your not living with mommy ya should because look around ya don't have much to speak of), not very happy "really" and party like a eighteen year old "sailor" who just left home and brag about here on fornits. Now most of you folks are to old for this. So how is this all working for ya....... Ya I thought so....bash AA a little more denial will help ya sleep.
Danny...........
Lols.
As for your generalizations about my personal life -- I'm screwed any way I respond to your insinuations. If I say that I drink or smoke pot every day, you'll call me an alcoholic/addict in denial, proving yourself right. If I say that I don't drink and don't do drugs, or that I moderate, you'll claim i'm either a "dry drunk/druggie" or not an alcoholic/addict, can't understand addiction, and thus can't make educated commentary on the subject (also proving yourself right). It's this mechanism that allows you to disregard any and all information coming from outside your little clique. There is nothing anybody can possibly say to you that won't be disregarded automatically, not because of the arguments or information itself, but because of who it's coming from. The funny thing is you probably don't even realize you're doing it. You filter information coming to you. The first step, as with AA, is to realize you're doing it.
Come on now. You have a brain. Use it. It's not "stinking thinking". It's rational thought given to you by god or evolution or whatever you believe in. It's there for a reason. A person does not need to have had cancer to be an oncologist, or to have had a urinary tract infection to be an urologist. The arguments I present are sound and you should at least consider them to make an educated decision. The only reason why AA states that only an alcoholic can understand an alcoholic is because the system was designed so you would ignore all outside influences. Even the definition of alcoholic is twisted in AA to control who is considered worthy of respect and attention. If you get sober within AA you're considered a "recovering alcoholic". If you get sober outside of AA you're a "dry drunk" or "merely abstaining". All of it's designed to tell you who is worthy to listen to and who is an apostate for whom you should plug your fingers in your ears for your own damn good.
Is it for your own good? Maybe. Maybe not. How will you ever know if you don't look at all sides of the argument. Are you afraid the truth might shake your foundations in sobriety? What if that fear is based on a lie? It all boils down to this question in the end: would you rather live a life within a pleasant lie, or face the harsh truth. You'll never know what is the truth unless you research both sides. So which will it be. The red pill or the blue pill? If you choose to look at both sides, try here for starters:
http://www.peele.net/lib/diseasing3.html (http://www.peele.net/lib/diseasing3.html)
Or if that's too heavy for you, OrangePapers.org is pretty easy to read.
-
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Well it all makes sense when your not a "alcoholic" you can pontificate from your soap box especially
when there's no sense of urgency. All these theories are great but here is my problem, I am getting all this feedback from folks that drink and smoke pot (which is fine no problem with me) but "WTF".
Well, quite a few of us have been told by AA that we ARE alcoholics. So, take that for what it's worth.
Please give it a rest, OK you did not like AA, you wanted to drink and be merry so be merry.
Might I suggest that you steer clear of threads that you don't like. I started this thread and posted a joke. You guys came in here and decided to debate the issue. You're hearing things that you don't like so you're asking us to stop??? Get the hell out of the thread if you don't like the subject.
Happy, Joyfulness and Free.
Yes, we can see that from the sentence directly below.......
The other thing I've noticed all this no-god and self-will, ME ME ME....most of ya are single, live w/mommy, (if your not living with mommy ya should because look around ya don't have much to speak of), not very happy "really" and party like a eighteen year old "sailor" who just left home and brag about here on fornits. Now most of you folks are to old for this. So how is this all working for ya....... Ya I thought so....bash AA a little more denial will help ya sleep.
Danny...........
Ah...there's that special brand of spirituality. You just can't stand the thought of someone being able to deal with their problems without your precious AA so you have to write us off as kids or losers or that we're in denial. You sound just like program staff and you're proving some of my points about AA and it's people right here in this thread. You sound like program staff.....same fucking shit, different wrapper.
By the way dear, I'm 44 year old married woman who's raised two grown children.
-
Anne Bonney,
What treatment do you suggest for alcoholics?
Stop drinking.
That is not realistic for everyone and I know you're aware of that.
It is realistic. It's unrealistic to expect a higher power to do it for you, or has done it for you. Even by Christian standards, God gave men free will to fuck up or succeed on their own. Drinking to excess is listed explicitly as a sin, not a disease, in the Bible. It amazes me how so many Christians can attend AA and not understand the heretical nature of their teachings. At it's core it denies that man has free will, stating instead that a substance can make a person "powerless" when in reality picking up a drink (yes, each one) is a conscious choice, as is the choice to quit.
Smoking is a behavior. Cancer is a disease. Promiscuous sex is a behavior. STDs are diseases. Snorting cocaine is a behavior. A deviated septum is a disease. Drinking is a behavior. Cirrhosis of the liver is a disease. All behaviors are choices, and while they might result in diseases as a consequence, a pattern of behavior is not in itself a disease. A person with cancer cannot "quit" cancer. A person with AIDS cannot "quit" aids. The element of choice, the exercise of free will, is what makes drinking to excess a behavior and not a disease.
So why do so many AA supporters maintain that alcoholism is a disease? Because it's a lot easier for people who have fucked up their life and hurt others to blame it on an inanimate substance than it is to take full responsibility for the bad choices they have made, and the consequences of those choices. A person who has killed a kid while drunk driving is far more likely to say "i was sick" so they can live with themselves than "I killed that kid, there is no excuse, and I should probably either find a way to live with what I've done or eat my gun".
AA does not work. Sure there is anecdotal evidence all over the place of people claiming the program saved their lives, but statistically, those people would be sober anyway. The rate at which AA works is actually worse than the rate people quit drinking on their own, with no aid other than with their free will. How do we know this? Because there have been double blind studies done with court offenders (such as the Brandsma study). What's also interesting is that often the people who do the worst with the AA program are the most emphatic in their claims that the program is saving their lives.
Of course we already know this. Everybody has seen kids coming out of programs claiming the program saved their lives from addiction -- kids who never had actual drinking problems to begin with, only to identify with the "addict" identity in the program and act it out on release, drinking alcoholically and using drugs to excess. Why do they do this? Because they are indoctrinated to believe they cannot help themselves. They've learned to be powerless (http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness), and as such, don't bother trying. This alone explains why the rate of binge drinking for AA members is 5 times higher than those who quit on their own in the Brandsma study (http://http://orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html#powerless_binge). And let's be clear. The participants in the study were selected randomly from the same group of court ordered offenders. There has never been a single study, not a single one, to show that AA works better than nothing at all.
Why is AA so popular then? It's free, it makes people feel good even when they shouldn't, and it's 12th step spreads it's ideology like a virus. It's influence has so permeated modern society it's difficult to listen to an album or watch a TV show without being bombarded with it's philosophy and lingo. From birth people are exposed to what they see as the "truth" about alcoholism and the "cure". It's been a silent, subtle takeover by an objectively false belief system masquerading as the truth, masquerading as science, and one that suppresses all other beliefs as "dangerous". Like a cult, the AA way is the only way to sobriety, to salvation (there is doublespeak on this within AA. I'd be glad to discuss it.). I won't go so far as to say it's a full blown cult Cult, but I will say that many of AA's practices are very cult like, and that the way it spreads is in many ways something cults like Scientology and the Unification Church could only dream of.
Let's be clear. I have no problem with people voluntarily believing a lie in order for them to feel better about their lives. It's their choice. What I have a problem with is forced (by the state, workplace, or parents) indoctrination into this belief system that is based more around a religion, a feel-good lie, than around science or objective truth. Actually. Let me clarify. I have a problem with forced treatment of any kind, AA or otherwise (i prefer straight out punishment for non-consensual crimes, and no punishment for consensual), but AA is especially bad because it is religious in nature and as such, sentencing to AA violates the establishment clause of the first amendment.
If you got sober through AA, pat yourself on the back. You did well for yourself. It wasn't the program and it certainly wasn't the higher power. Smile at your own accomplishments.
:rocker:
-
As for your generalizations about my personal life -- I'm screwed any way I respond to your insinuations. If I say that I drink or smoke pot every day, you'll call me an alcoholic/addict in denial, proving yourself right. If I say that I don't drink and don't do drugs, or that I moderate, you'll claim i'm either a "dry drunk/druggie" or not an alcoholic/addict, can't understand addiction, and thus can't make educated commentary on the subject (also proving yourself right). It's this mechanism that allows you to disregard any and all information coming from outside your little clique. There is nothing anybody can possibly say to you that won't be disregarded automatically, not because of the arguments or information itself, but because of who it's coming from. The funny thing is you probably don't even realize you're doing it. You filter information coming to you. The first step, as with AA, is to realize you're doing it.
Come on now. You have a brain. Use it. It's not "stinking thinking". It's rational thought given to you by god or evolution or whatever you believe in. It's there for a reason. A person does not need to have had cancer to be an oncologist, or to have had a urinary tract infection to be an urologist. The arguments I present are sound and you should at least consider them to make an educated decision. The only reason why AA states that only an alcoholic can understand an alcoholic is because the system was designed so you would ignore all outside influences. Even the definition of alcoholic is twisted in AA to control who is considered worthy of respect and attention. If you get sober within AA you're considered a "recovering alcoholic". If you get sober outside of AA you're a "dry drunk" or "merely abstaining". All of it's designed to tell you who is worthy to listen to and who is an apostate for whom you should plug your fingers in your ears for your own damn good.
Is it for your own good? Maybe. Maybe not. How will you ever know if you don't look at all sides of the argument. Are you afraid the truth might shake your foundations in sobriety? What if that fear is based on a lie? It all boils down to this question in the end: would you rather live a life within a pleasant lie, or face the harsh truth. You'll never know what is the truth unless you research both sides. So which will it be. The red pill or the blue pill? If you choose to look at both sides, try here for starters:
http://www.peele.net/lib/diseasing3.html (http://www.peele.net/lib/diseasing3.html)
Or if that's too heavy for you, OrangePapers.org is pretty easy to read.[/quote]
:shamrock: :shamrock:
I don't have a lot of time to get into the other points you made.
I do want to take the time and apologize for my rude comments in the post above,
You highlighted my comments.
This was very rude of me, Freewill.
If you will notice my original post I edited. It was removed. If you wish to do the same
I would appreciate it (your high lighted post of mine).
Danny....
:shamrock: :shamrock:
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Say, did you hear the one about the priest, the alcoholic, and the pedophile?
And that was just the FIRST guy.... :roflmao: :cheers: :notworthy:
:rofl:
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
I don't know anything about the AA model. There are some questions I have about AA and hopefully people can answer them.
1. How long do people have to attend AA meeting per court order?
2. Who runs AA meetings?
3. How long are AA meetings?
4. Do AA facilitators or participants frown upon those who are skeptical about religion?
5. Do the courts allow for people to choose other treatment methods besides AA?
1) It varies, sometimes for years.
2) There is generally a facilitator who is an AA member with at least (I think) 90 days of continuous sobriety (or at least willing to say they have that long)
3. It varies, but most are from 1-2 hours.
4. Yes, very much so, though they will deny it.
5. They are supposed to, but frequently do not unless challenged. The challenges that have come up so far have all found, on appeal, that AA/NA/Stepcraft IS a religion, regardless of their claims to the contrary. One case was in New York sate, another in Tennessee, and a third in California.
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
Not necessarily, but the article you posted is an example of one of the cases I mentioned.
-
edited
-
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Felice, (this section edited by request of the slandered party)
Please, wow I know somebody who has 28 years.....Bravo.... Though I know from past conversations this is bullshit.
But, hey there impressed. As being a little annoying fuck, I wish .....give me time I'm losing weight. As for the "fuck" all the way baby.
Hey, did your friend Ginger make her rounds with you too........Boo Hooo....
Danny
Wow, Danny, you are a real class act. At the 12Step meetings to which I was subjected, they always mentioned "if you want what we have, and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, we can help you" (or something to that effect)......from watching your petty little diatribes the last few days, I can assure you that I most certainly DO NOT want whatever it is that you have. Your display of the quality of the "serenity" that you possess is truly an inspiration to aspiring cult members everywhere. Grow the fuck up. Now go call your sponsor and tell him what a great job you did representing for your cult.
-
Danny, you ol' cad...
You told me you wanted to give me a blowjob as well, I can post the email if you want.
-
Danny, you ol' cad...
You told me you wanted to give me a blowjob as well, I can post the email if you want.
Please.....somebody needs one.
Danny :shamrock:
-
Edited: Wednesday, October 06, 2010
-
edited
-
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Felice, (this section edited by request of the slandered party)
Please, wow I know somebody who has 28 years.....Bravo.... Though I know from past conversations this is bullshit.
But, hey there impressed. As being a little annoying fuck, I wish .....give me time I'm losing weight. As for the "fuck" all the way baby.
Hey, did your friend Ginger make her rounds with you too........Boo Hooo....
Danny
What a dick!!!! Ya think it might say something about you and your "spirituality" that you're so fucking defensive about your precious program??? Why can't you people handle the fact that not everyone buys your bullshit? If it's working for you, great but why attack people who feel differently? Might we have struck a nerve? Might we have pointed out a chink in your armor?
Happy Joyous and Free my ass! ::)
-
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Felice, (this section edited by request of the slandered party)
Please, wow I know somebody who has 28 years.....Bravo.... Though I know from past conversations this is bullshit.
But, hey there impressed. As being a little annoying fuck, I wish .....give me time I'm losing weight. As for the "fuck" all the way baby.
Hey, did your friend Ginger make her rounds with you too........Boo Hooo....
Danny
What a dick!!!! Ya think it might say something about you and your "spirituality" that you're so fucking defensive about your precious program??? Why can't you people handle the fact that not everyone buys your bullshit? If it's working for you, great but why attack people who feel differently? Might we have struck a nerve? Might we have pointed out a chink in your armor?
Happy Joyous and Free my ass! ::)
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Yeah, ya got me on this one. If you have noticed I deleted mine and then asked the reposter to delete theirs. They chose not to until they talked with Felice. This conversation I am talking about happened through emails last nite and this morning.
So shame on me.....this was never slander that is why it is despicable on my part.
Danny
-
Yeah, ya got me on this one. If you have noticed I deleted mine and then asked the reposter to delete theirs. They chose not to until they talked with Felice. This conversation I am talking about happened through emails last nite and this morning.
So shame on me.....
Danny
This ONE? Dude, you've been a crass, obnoxious dickhead from the get-go regarding this. I'll ask again....why is that? Why so defensive?
-
Yeah, ya got me on this one. If you have noticed I deleted mine and then asked the reposter to delete theirs. They chose not to until they talked with Felice. This conversation I am talking about happened through emails last nite and this morning.
So shame on me.....
Danny
This ONE? Dude, you've been a crass, obnoxious dickhead from the get-go regarding this. I'll ask again....why is that? Why so defensive?
:shamrock: :shamrock:
Anne it is over. It really had nothing to do with AA or you. This discontent of mine started else where (another forum) and carried over here.
Now I can have a spirited debate with you concerning AA or a conversation. I have no problems with your views.
Danny
-
Anne,
Would you please take it up with the Judge....AA did not force you there so please don't take it out on the room or the people...Thanks...danny
^^^^^^ There is why I say that you're extremely touchy about AA. I started a thread, posted a joke and you come into the thread and get pissy cuz somebody dared say something mean about AA.
Touchy indeed.
-
Anne,
Would you please take it up with the Judge....AA did not force you there so please don't take it out on the room or the people...Thanks...danny
^^^^^^ There is why I say that you're extremely touchy about AA. I started a thread, posted a joke and you come into the thread and get pissy cuz somebody dared say something mean about AA.
Touchy indeed.
Wasn't being touchy but OK I see where you could get that.
Danny
-
Anne,
Would you please take it up with the Judge....AA did not force you there so please don't take it out on the room or the people...Thanks...danny
^^^^^^ There is why I say that you're extremely touchy about AA. I started a thread, posted a joke and you come into the thread and get pissy cuz somebody dared say something mean about AA.
Touchy indeed.
Wasn't being touchy but OK I see where you could get that.
Danny
Really now? You just come into threads and shit all over them for the helluvit?
-
And now, back to the jokes.
How to have fun with recovery:
1. Brag about all of your sober time.
2. Threaten to relapse if you don't get your own way.
3. Complain that people who do things you don't like are endangering your recovery.
4. Explain that you have to go to a meeting whenever your wife asks you to do something that you don't want to do, like take out the garbage.
5. Act like a real ass-hole, and then demand that everyone congratulate you for not drinking while you did it.
6. Dump your old wife because she isn't in recovery, and pick up on that new cutie who is showing up at the meetings.
-
A slogan a day keeps the thinking away.
:seg:
-
Well, this isn't technically a joke but it is *funny*. The sad kind of funny cuz it's true.
At Charlie Towns' hospital in New York City in 1934, Doctor William D. Silkworth gave alcoholics the magical "belladonna cure", a drug cocktail whose main ingredient was the hallucinogenic drug belladonna. Bill Wilson went to that hospital and got that treatment for alcoholism four times in a little more than a year, the last one being in December of 1934.
Most of the hard-core old alcoholics also suffered from delirium tremens, which also causes people to hallucinate, so they had quite a variety of "visions" while detoxing. After a group of such alcoholics had been detoxed, Dr. Silkworth examined them and questioned them, to determine the nature of their experiences.
"Joe, what did you see? Silkworth asked.
"I saw pink elephants with purple polka dots, and they were flying through the air and trumpeting with their big trunks and laughing," Joe answered.
"Sorry," Silkworth said. "That was just a hallucination. What about you, Fred?"
"I saw bugs. There were millions of bugs, cockroaches and beetles and centipedes, crawling all over the walls and floors, and then they crawled up my legs and were all over me. I was screaming for them to get off, but they wouldn't."
"Sorry," Silkworth said. "That was just a hallucination. What about you, Bill Wilson?"
"I saw God. There was a big white flash and then I felt like I was on a mountain-top, with a wind of spirit blowing through me."
"Wow," said Dr. Silkworth, "I can certify that as a genuine spiritual experience. And I can assure you that you were not hallucinating. I feel humbled, just to be in your magnificent presence, Bill Wilson."
-
A Vision for You
...Two days later, a future fellow of Anonymous Alcoholism stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. "Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before."
They grinned, which he didn't like so much. Said one of the visitors, "We're giving you a treatment for alcoholism."
Hopelessness was written large on the man's face as he replied, "Oh, but that's no use. Nothing would fix me. I'm a goner. The last three times, I got drunk on the way home from here. I'm afraid to go out the door. I can't understand it."
Asked one of the visitors, "Can you move your right hand?"
With a puzzled look on his face, the man tried it, and discovered that he could.
Asked one of the visitors, as he offered a glass to the man, "Can you pick this up with your right hand, and put it to your mouth?"
The man tried it. "Why, yes, I can," said the man.
One of the visitors filled the glass with whiskey, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your right hand to lift this glass to your mouth, and drink all of this?"
The man discovered that he could.
One of the visitors filled the glass with whiskey again, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your left hand to lift this glass to your mouth, and drink all of this?"
The man discovered that he could do that, too.
Said one of the visitors, "That explains it. That is what is happening to you on the way home from here. At least one of your hands is lifting glasses of whiskey to your mouth, and you are drinking the whiskey. That is why you are getting drunk."
Said the man, "This is amazing. No one has ever been able to explain it to me so clearly before. I want to join your church right now."
The visitors thought they noticed something different about him already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience.
-
AA meeting 2006:
Lets go around the table:
Hi! I’m Jim, I am 26 years old. I dropped out of school at 16 and went straight into booze and drugs. Been pretty much up and down my whole life, in and out of jail you know the usual crap. Parents sent me to a TBS but I ran away. Nothing worked for me so I finally decide to try AA. As long as no one tells me what to do we will get along fine. Cant figure out why I am so pissed off all the time. I read the orange papers but look where it got me.
Hi! I’m Bob and was kicked out of the house at 18, I’m 30 now. Dropped out of school, robbed from my parents. Spent some time in counseling. I was kicked out when my little sister got into my gear and poked herself with a nail. I have been through 5 jobs in the past 2 years. I memorized the "Orange papers" and I am just sick of this f*@king life. A friend of mine recommended AA. He has been sober for twenty years now so I thought I would give it a try.
Sir, in the back, you don’t have to leave. Whats your name?
Hi! I’m Dave and I was dragged out of my bed at age 15, into drinking and hanging out with some pretty bad people at the time. Parents sent sent to wilderness and then a Therapeutic boarding school. I graduated from Tulane in 1995 and Harvard business school in 1998 and I now own several businesses. I bought my parents a new home to show my appreciation for what they did for me. I am just dropping these two guys off! They are old friends of mine.
LOL
...
-
AA meeting 2006:
Lets go around the table:
Hi! I’m Jim, I am 26 years old. I dropped out of school at 16 and went straight into booze and drugs. Been pretty much up and down my whole life, in and out of jail you know the usual crap. Parents sent me to a TBS but I ran away. Nothing worked for me so I finally decide to try AA. As long as no one tells me what to do we will get along fine. Cant figure out why I am so pissed off all the time. I read the orange papers but look where it got me.
Hi! I’m Bob and was kicked out of the house at 18, I’m 30 now. Dropped out of school, robbed from my parents. Spent some time in counseling. I was kicked out when my little sister got into my gear and poked herself with a nail. I have been through 5 jobs in the past 2 years. I memorized the "Orange papers" and I am just sick of this f*@king life. A friend of mine recommended AA. He has been sober for twenty years now so I thought I would give it a try.
Sir, in the back, you don’t have to leave. Whats your name?
Hi! I’m Dave and I was dragged out of my bed at age 15, into drinking and hanging out with some pretty bad people at the time. Parents sent sent to wilderness and then a Therapeutic boarding school. I graduated from Tulane in 1995 and Harvard business school in 1998 and I now own several businesses. I bought my parents a new home to show my appreciation for what they did for me. I am just dropping these two guys off! They are old friends of mine.
LOL
...
Wow.....that's hilarious. Have you ever thought of dropping the teen torture gig and getting into stand up comedy?
-
New Alcoholism Treatment
We have developed a new treatment modality for alcoholism: the Cheech'n'Chong Treatment Program. It works like this: whenever you get cravings for alcohol, you put on a ballerina's tutu and slippers, and Mickey Mouse ears, just like Cheech and Chong in the movie "Up in Smoke". Then you jump up and down on one foot, while juggling five tennis balls, and reciting Shakespeare sonnets. Continue this procedure for as long as the cravings last.
RARELY HAS this simple program been known to fail, except for a few unfortunates who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves while wearing a tutu.
It works, if you work it.
-
Every time you get cravings for alcohol, you just go to Baskin Robbins and eat ice cream instead of drinking alcohol.
I particularly recommend the French Vanilla. Definitely avoid the Rum Raisin.
This simple program does not and can not ever fail, if you completely give yourself to it. RARELY HAVE we seen somebody fail this simple program, except for a few people who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with their ice cream. There are such unfortunates among us. They seem to have been born that way.
So Keep Coming Back! to Baskin Robbins. It Works If You Work It! You Die If You Don't! So Work It, You're Worth It!
-
New Treatment Breakthrough
Many city, state, and Federal government agencies have been frustrated by the very poor results obtained from existing drug and alcohol treatment programs, in spite of the large amounts of money spent trying to solve these social problems.
But the Bureau of Abstract Statistics reports a major discovery, finding that when survey questionnaires about continued drug and alcohol use are handed out and collected by parole officers, judges, or other officers of the court, the success rate of the drug and alcohol treatment programs suddenly jumps to 100%. Nobody reports any problems with relapses or continued use at all.
The Bureau suggests that this effect can be used as an "after-burner" to enhance the success rate of existing treatment programs. Sam Wannabe, a senior statistician with the Bureau, says, "It is obvious that we can save the taxpayers millions of dollars, just by using parole officers and judges to calculate the success rates of treatment programs. This is truly a great day in the war on drugs."
-
[/color]
Wharrrrrrgarrrbllllllllll
Did you not see the subject line of the thread?? Stay on topic or GTFO
-
[/color]
Wharrrrrrgarrrbllllllllll
Did you not see the subject line of the thread?? Stay on topic or GTFO
Give me time!!!!! I know the topic is “12†fun things to do at forcibly attended AA meetingsâ€. You cant expect me to post all 12 on my first post.
...
-
Give me time!!!!! I know the topic is “12†fun things to do at forcibly attended AA meetingsâ€. You cant expect me to post all 12 on my first post.
Is that supposed to be humorous? Or mean something? Anything at all or are you just threadshitting again?
-
A State trooper pulls a car over for speeding. As the officer approaches the window, he notices several bowling pins on the seat next to the driver. "What are those for?" The man tells the troooper that he is a juggler on his way to a circus job and asks if he'd like a demonstration.
The officer says ok, so the man steps out of the car with the bowling pins. On the side of the road, as the trooper watches, the man tosses the pins into the air and juggles them expertly.
At the same time, a survivor and his girlfriend drive past. They notice the juggler with the State trooper on the roadside. The survivor turns to his girlfriend and says, "I'm sure glad I got sent to a program when I did. Look at what they make you do for the sobriety test now!"
...
-
merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde merde
So you're just threadshitting.
Good to know.
-
A State trooper pulls a car over for speeding. As the officer approaches the window, he notices several bowling pins on the seat next to the driver. "What are those for?" The man tells the troooper that he is a juggler on his way to a circus job and asks if he'd like a demonstration.
The officer says ok, so the man steps out of the car with the bowling pins. On the side of the road, as the trooper watches, the man tosses the pins into the air and juggles them expertly.
At the same time, a survivor and his girlfriend drive past. They notice the juggler with the State trooper on the roadside. The survivor turns to his girlfriend and says, "I'm sure glad I got sent to a program when I did. Look at what they make you do for the sobriety test now!"
...
So you're just threadshitting.
Good to know.
Lighten-up.
...
-
Lighten-up.
Fuck off.
-
:jamin:
-
:hug:
-
(http://http://www.united-nations-of-beer.com/images/beerbong1jenn.jpg)
Ha,Ha,Ha .... good thread.
-
A Vision for You
...Two days later, a future daily user of cannabis stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. "Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before."
They grinned, which he didn't like so much. Said one of the visitors, "We're giving you a treatment for the damage you received in AA."
Hopelessness was written large on the man's face as he replied, "Oh, but that's no use. Nothing would fix me. I'm a goner. The last three times, I went and called my sponsor, then hit a Step Study meeting on the way home from here. I'm afraid to go out the door. I can't understand it."
Asked one of the visitors, "Can you move your right hand?"
With a puzzled look on his face, the man tried it, and discovered that he could.
Asked one of the visitors, as he offered a glass pipe to the man, "Can you pick this up with your right hand, and put it to your mouth?"
The man tried it. "Why, yes, I can," said the man.
"Can you inhale the smoke?" asked the other visitor, "and hold it deeply in your lungs?"
One of the visitors filled the pipe with marijuana, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your right hand to lift this pipe to your mouth, and smoke all of this?"
The man discovered that he could.
One of the visitors filled the pipe with cannabis again, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your left hand to lift this pipe to your mouth, and smoke all of this?"
The man discovered that he could do that, too.
Said one of the visitors, "That explains it. That is what is happening to you on the way home from here. You are wandering into Stepcult meetings when you should be smoking more WEED".
Said the man, "This is amazing. No one has ever been able to explain it to me so clearly before. I want to join your church right now."
The visitors thought they noticed something different about him already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience.
"We represent the Red Temple Cult" said the visitors. We've got to get back to our UFO, but if you send money and drugs to RTP2003, he will give you further instructions. Remember, stay away from 12 Step meetings. Be cool. Later."
-
A Vision for You
...Two days later, a future daily user of cannabis stared glassily at the strangers beside his bed. "Who are you fellows, and why this private room? I was always in a ward before."
They grinned, which he didn't like so much. Said one of the visitors, "We're giving you a treatment for the damage you received in AA."
Hopelessness was written large on the man's face as he replied, "Oh, but that's no use. Nothing would fix me. I'm a goner. The last three times, I went and called my sponsor, then hit a Step Study meeting on the way home from here. I'm afraid to go out the door. I can't understand it."
Asked one of the visitors, "Can you move your right hand?"
With a puzzled look on his face, the man tried it, and discovered that he could.
Asked one of the visitors, as he offered a glass pipe to the man, "Can you pick this up with your right hand, and put it to your mouth?"
The man tried it. "Why, yes, I can," said the man.
"Can you inhale the smoke?" asked the other visitor, "and hold it deeply in your lungs?"
One of the visitors filled the pipe with marijuana, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your right hand to lift this pipe to your mouth, and smoke all of this?"
The man discovered that he could.
One of the visitors filled the pipe with cannabis again, and handed it to the man, and asked, "Can you use your left hand to lift this pipe to your mouth, and smoke all of this?"
The man discovered that he could do that, too.
Said one of the visitors, "That explains it. That is what is happening to you on the way home from here. You are wandering into Stepcult meetings when you should be smoking more WEED".
Said the man, "This is amazing. No one has ever been able to explain it to me so clearly before. I want to join your church right now."
The visitors thought they noticed something different about him already. He had begun to have a spiritual experience.
"We represent the Red Temple Cult" said the visitors. We've got to get back to our UFO, but if you send money and drugs to RTP2003, he will give you further instructions. Remember, stay away from 12 Step meetings. Be cool. Later."
:notworthy: :notworthy: :rasta:
-
:flame:
-
Lighten-up.
Fuck off.
:shamrock:
Nice......
Danny
-
New Treatment Breakthrough
Many city, state, and Federal government agencies have been frustrated by the very poor results obtained from existing drug and alcohol treatment programs, in spite of the large amounts of money spent trying to solve these social problems.
But the Bureau of Abstract Statistics reports a major discovery, finding that when survey questionnaires about continued drug and alcohol use are handed out and collected by parole officers, judges, or other officers of the court, the success rate of the drug and alcohol treatment programs suddenly jumps to 100%. Nobody reports any problems with relapses or continued use at all.
The Bureau suggests that this effect can be used as an "after-burner" to enhance the success rate of existing treatment programs. Sam Wannabe, a senior statistician with the Bureau, says, "It is obvious that we can save the taxpayers millions of dollars, just by using parole officers and judges to calculate the success rates of treatment programs. This is truly a great day in the war on drugs."
:shamrock: :shamrock:
This is very funny.....lol
Danny
-
New Treatment Breakthrough
Many city, state, and Federal government agencies have been frustrated by the very poor results obtained from existing drug and alcohol treatment programs, in spite of the large amounts of money spent trying to solve these social problems.
But the Bureau of Abstract Statistics reports a major discovery, finding that when survey questionnaires about continued drug and alcohol use are handed out and collected by parole officers, judges, or other officers of the court, the success rate of the drug and alcohol treatment programs suddenly jumps to 100%. Nobody reports any problems with relapses or continued use at all.
The Bureau suggests that this effect can be used as an "after-burner" to enhance the success rate of existing treatment programs. Sam Wannabe, a senior statistician with the Bureau, says, "It is obvious that we can save the taxpayers millions of dollars, just by using parole officers and judges to calculate the success rates of treatment programs. This is truly a great day in the war on drugs."
:shamrock: :shamrock:
This is very funny.....lol
Danny
-
New Treatment Breakthrough
Many city, state, and Federal government agencies have been frustrated by the very poor results obtained from existing drug and alcohol treatment programs, in spite of the large amounts of money spent trying to solve these social problems.
But the Bureau of Abstract Statistics reports a major discovery, finding that when survey questionnaires about continued drug and alcohol use are handed out and collected by parole officers, judges, or other officers of the court, the success rate of the drug and alcohol treatment programs suddenly jumps to 100%. Nobody reports any problems with relapses or continued use at all.
The Bureau suggests that this effect can be used as an "after-burner" to enhance the success rate of existing treatment programs. Sam Wannabe, a senior statistician with the Bureau, says, "It is obvious that we can save the taxpayers millions of dollars, just by using parole officers and judges to calculate the success rates of treatment programs. This is truly a great day in the war on drugs."
:shamrock: :shamrock:
This is very funny.....lol
Danny
-
Hey Danny, I was never involved with AA, but I WAS involved with your mother last weekend, and she did not impress me either. And now it burns when I pee, too. Say, and when's she gonna pay me the money that she owes me?
-
Danny can not talk right now, he is sucking my dick.
When he is done, he will be back to Troll.
:feedtrolls:
-
Hey Danny, I was never involved with AA, but I WAS involved with your mother last weekend, and she did not impress me either. And now it burns when I pee, too. Say, and when's she gonna pay me the money that she owes me?
This is very funny.....lol
:shamrock:
-
Hey Danny, I was never involved with AA, but I WAS involved with your mother last weekend, and she did not impress me either. And now it burns when I pee, too. Say, and when's she gonna pay me the money that she owes me?
This is very funny.....lol
:shamrock:
Anne,
This will actually be my last response to you because like me for awhile, you have entered into the bizarre.
So bye bye...
Danny
-
Aw, gee. I'm crushed.
;D
-
Hey Danny, I was never involved with AA, but I WAS involved with your mother last weekend, and she did not impress me either. And now it burns when I pee, too. Say, and when's she gonna pay me the money that she owes me?
This is very funny.....lol
:shamrock:
Anne,
This will actually be my last response to you because like me for awhile, you have entered into the bizarre.
So bye bye...
Danny
Last weekend, I entered into your mama, Danny. Chinga tu madre, puto.
-
Banny Dennison
:seg: