Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Antigen on September 08, 2003, 11:46:00 PM
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Robert Anton Wilson is running for Governor of the Republic of California as the unofficial write-in candidate for the Guns and Dope Party.
Position Paper #1
After refusing many pleas to run for governor, I have reconsidered and now enter the race as an unofficial write-in candidate. After all, why shd I remain the ONLY nut in California who ain't running?
My party, the Guns and Dope Party, invites extremists of both right and left to unite behind the shared goals of
1) Get those pointy-headed Washinton bureaucrats off our backs and off our fronts too!
2) guns for everybody who wants them; no guns for those who don't want them
3) drugs for everybody who wants them; no drugs for those who don't want them
4) freedom of choice, free love, free speech, free Internet and free beer
5) California secession -- Keep the anti--gun and ant-dope fanatics on the Eastern side of the Rockies
6) Lotsa wild parties every night by gun-toting dopers
7) Animal protection -- Support your right to keep and arm bears
More position papers will follow; we know at least 69 good positions
Robert Anton Wilson Guns and Dope Party
Position Paper #5
The official flag: the Republic of California bear
Official motto: "Like what you like, enjoy what you enjoy, and don't take crap from anybody."
Major goal of first term: California secesion. [Oregon, Washington State and B.C. invited to join Freetopia....]
First order of business on assuming office: Fire 33% of the legislature [names selected at random] and replace them with full-grown adult ostritches, whose mysterious and awesome dignity will elevate the suidean barbarity long established there.
Both the pro-gun people and the dopers [medical, religious and/or receational] feel like minorities, and the TSOG [Tsarist Occupation Government] agrees with this estimate of their weakness. Our contention holds that in California both groups woikin' together make a MAJORITY. Ergo, they have much to gain and nowt to lose in combining forces. Each side only has to realize this and agree "We'll tolerate their hobbies if they'll tolerate ours" and we can even beat Schwarzenegger!
Tsar cards granting full autonomy available http://www.rawilson.com (http://www.rawilson.com)
Give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself - that is my doctrine.
--Thomas Paine
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do we have a future president here or what?
I think I actually support this party, and to think I thought I was anti gun.
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
John Cleese
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A lot of IInd Amendment advocates are former gun control advocates who've been stalked by a psychotic reprobate.
None of Nature's landscapes are ugly so long as they are wild.
-- John Muir