Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on November 01, 2009, 04:53:51 AM
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As a survivor of Morgan Yacht building and the early days, I wonder as I read through this board why are survivors so negative toward each other? Instead of being like Vietnam Vets that have a close bond, unbreakable because they went through hell together, it seems as if many survivors are out to hurt, confront, mistrust and at times even turn against their fellow survivor.
I look at it this way; we have a choice to either treat each other as we did in group or to have a bond that is unbreakable. It really is our choice. Didn't we all suffer enough in there? Isn't division what the Sembler’s and others would want? The hurting or negativity toward each other is, in my humble opinion, just left over brainwashing. I realize that a certain amount of skepticism is needed as there are moles and fakes but here and other boards it seems to go beyond that. We were all forced to treat each other with malice, anger, and sometimes physical abuse. However, I think we all know those that were among us that enjoyed doing just that and those that did it for self preservation. I think we all know who "enjoyed" torturing or hurting others and those that did it because of self preservation and we were all just kids. Some were as young as 12 years old.
Didn't we all suffer enough? Isn't there enough hate and anger toward the adults that ruined our lives forever that we don't need to spread it among ourselves?
It truly is our choice how we treat each other as a group. Like it or not we were there. We were there together and the memories, nightmares and physical damage won't go away.
We CAN as a group that experienced hell together be strong with a bond that won't quit. We can choose that. I think to do otherwise is to not only let them win but to also exhibit that their brainwashing still controls us.
So, I was just wondering why can't we just choose to support each other, be there for each other, have each others back. I know that my choice is not to let them win. I would be there for any survivor other than those who made it obvious that they enjoyed hurting and torturing others. I personally would consider it an obligation. We truly are the only ones that understand each other and can talk to each other about things we would share with no one else. Isn't it time that the older -say Morgan Yacht - survivors step up and set an example of how each of us can overcome this apparent need to tear each other apart.
Just Wondering.
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Good post---
First off, let me say that I have met several survivors in person, through this forum, and have found them to be extremely supportive, they have "had my back" as you put it. More than anyone else, they understand what I went through in Str8, as I understand what they went through.
That being said, a lot of the old scars run deep, and we often tend to interact with each other the way we did in Str8. This can be for any number of reasons, whether they be residual grudges from thing s that actually went down 30 years ago, or for perceived differences in our attitude toward Str8---the "well, I was dying from drugs, at least it saved me from myself, even if it was abusive" crowd being denigrated by the "fuck that place, it killed people" camp, to the "you guys are on drugs" people to the "if you aren't addicted to smack you're still brainwashed by Str8" folks, each with their own particular set of experiences, expectations and beliefs. Something as emotionally intense as remembering the abuse and psychotic shit we were subjected to is going to have an effect, and combined with our individual experiences, conflicts are bound to occur.
Your comparison of Str8 survivors to VietNam vets is one I have heard before, but the main difference as I see it, is that Viet Nam vets weren't inflicting the trauma on each other. They had an identifiable external enemy; we, in many case, were each other's enemies.......and I'm not even talking about those phasers who went on Staff. We learned to isolate and destroy any dissent.....and that is exactly what I have seen on this and other survivor boards. Someone doesn't go along with the group, and some self-appointed guardians of the Survivor Community attack them with a ferocity that would have made Miller Newton smile with pride. I've seen it happen repeatedly, I've had it directed toward me, and I've done it to others.
I'd like to think that what you are suggesting in your post could become a reality, but I'm not sure I would bet on it. A great ideal to strive for, to be sure, but sadly soething that seems to be more the exception than the rule.
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@--MorganYachtSurvivor78
Forgive my writting this Morning, I have a 22lb Maine Coon in my lap. She makes writting and re-writing next to impossible. She doesnt understand that I have things to say, which require my hands. She believes my hands were designed to show her love, compassion and the attention she so richly deserves. Perhaps in her own way she is diverting my attention from the past of Straight Inc. Perhaps in her own loving way she is telling me I have had an emotionally exhausting week and I need distance from that which stirs up the haunting memories that engage a vast majority of my own thought process. I love my Maine Coons, all three! Yet they do not understand that I have what I feel is a massive priority, reaching out to other Survivors. Your post screams for my attention, not that I have answers that would bring absolute understanding...but perhaps I can shed a little insight that may only lead to deeper questions.
You wrote "I wonder as I read through this board why are survivors so negative toward each other? Instead of being like Vietnam Vets that have a close bond, unbreakable because they went through hell together, it seems as if many survivors are out to hurt, confront, mistrust and at times even turn against their fellow survivor."
Many, if not most of us spent many years avoiding any notion of Straight Inc. The memories, the nightmares, the stigmatic misuse of shame and humiliation kept our secrets well hidden if only from those outside our own skins. Then a day comes and we have an unexplicble need to Google Straight Inc. maybe seeking VALIDATION, perhaps to see what ever become of the hell hole we knew as "the building".Perhaps its to initiate contact with others with whom we had created some sort of bond. Yet, for what ever the reason is once on Google or whatever, we hit the ENTER key and we find hords of information, personal sites, boards like this one and others. We see pictures of former Staff, Executive Staff. We certainly find more information we had bargained for. Many of us for weeks after that are transfixed, dare I say obsessed in reading story after story, each one more intriguing than the one before.
Like yourself, I am a Milton Roy and Morgan Yacht building Survivor. I know for me it is 30+ years now, and your 30 year mark is not far behind. Three decades has an effect of calming for us. But think back to 10 years after the fact, 15 years after the fact, 20 years after the fact. Speaking for myself, I was angry, enraged...my family (blood relatives) were estranged still because of Straight Inc. At that time, there were no open forums for us to gather and spew our venimious rage. Had that been the case 15-20 years ago, my anger, would have been along militant status. I would have engaged in many many many more cases of lashing out, locking horns, bashing individuals that did not share my common hatred towards Straight Inc. I felt robbed of my youth, my teen years were stolen from me. My peacefull, laid back demeanor was taken from me by an era of mental, emotional and physical violence. So yes, I was angry and felt entitled to be so.
Now consider Straight Inc continiung for almost another 20 years, Consider that Miller Newton had taken over. When Miler arrived Straight Inc had already sown the seeds of mistrust, fear and anger with in just about all of us. Miller had all the ingrediants for his volent, twisted tryanny. Consider the thousands of lives he scared,the families virtually destroyed at his whim.
Straight Inc. did not get any better after you and I left, graduated, 7th Steped, Commenced or what ever. If anything the dynamics of Straight Inc changed for the worse, in a most violent manner.Sure, we had no nutrionist, we existed on balogna, swimmers, Orange Juice and Milk with ice in it. We, had no education while locked up. There were no "professionals" on staff. We were the unwilling, lead by the unknowing. There were no clear objectives and no clear methods of achieving them aside from a bastardized version of the 12 steps. The feeling was that of utter hopelessness. Oh, to be sure, there were "splits" and people were tackled as they went for the door. There was a time when the entire back row of chairs were filled with kids and 5 gallon buckets to hurl thier guts out into...Did you ever recieve a Dr's examination? In short, our time in the Morgan Yacht Building sucked, there is no denying that.
But know this, it got worse...much worse.
To survive Straight Inc. meant simply attack, or be attacked. This behaviour was ingrained so deeply in us and sooo many others that it isnt difficult to see that many of us still behave, think and act in such a dreadful manner. Of course, the indoctrination of violence doesnt excuse our actions today, but it should explain it beyond a shadow of a doubt. That is not to say it makes it ok to attack another for variances of opinion. It is not my intent to excuse, but to explain...with explaination comes understanding, with understanding, comes acceptance.
Vietnam Vets differ from us slightly, your correct, there is much less annimosity between Vets in general. But I would not say that they are not angry...for they are. But they do not attack each other as we do. The reasoning is simple....They were not trained to shred each other apart as we were.
Ya also mentioned "we have a choice to either treat each other as we did in group or to have a bond that is unbreakable. It really is our choice. Didn't we all suffer enough in there? Isn't division what the Sembler’s and others would want?"
Well, we have a bond, a similarity.I see it as undeniable more so than unbreakable. Because the cold reality is, we wil break our bonds time and time again. That is the similarity we share. I dont mean to imply that I enjoy or support this, but from my experiance and observation....it's just fact. You ask if this division is what the Semblers want. No. Quiet frankly, the Semblers dont give a fat rats ass about us. Mel made his $$$, made his appointment as ambassadorship to Australia and Italy...why would he give a shit what we do now? Betty Sembler has dismissed us all by stating "You simple need to get over it and get a life."
On these boards, I have seen and particapated in the very things you write about. I wish I hadnt in many instances, but i did, and my own shame for doing so is immense. My eyes left the prize and my emotions (which cant/wont be denied) took and has often taken over, leaving me to feel as a twit.
I also agree we as a "group" can create a bond "that won't quit"....despite outside or inside apearances we have that bond in place. It may not be the most cohesive bond ever known, but none the less, it is a bond. It is my choice to band together with this bond, despite our outburst now and again. There are estimates into the thousands of us that survived Straight Inc. I have come to recognize that despite our bickering and squabbling there is a force which compells us to gather here on the boards, to gather face to face, to met each other, to have weekends together, to protest together, to pull our minds and bodies together as one and let people know of the atrocities that have taken place and are taking place today.
I think your post and request for peace is noble and is not out of line! It would be sweet if the "older" ones, such as yourself, myself and several others could come together and set the example that you allude to. You just did! I am doing so by supporting your noble quest. I also consider it a obligation to those that came after us, to reach out, encourage peace, encourage civility, generate a millieu of healing, And to that end, I do so (best I can at any given moment). It is my wish that you would become a fixture here and join with us that think as we do. Join us at "Gatherings", "Protests" and "Vigils" (for those that did not survive), be an active part of the good, despite what is being said in the boards, regardless of who is fighting with whom. Do what is right, for ourselves, for the others that sit in blue chairs today under the tyranny of unscrupulious individuals.
Your plea for peace has not gone unheard, or unnoticed. I applaud you for making the plea known but once again. I sincerly wish, if only for myself, that we could come together in Peace, both in face to face (which is not uncommon) and here on the boards. The likelyhood of that hapening today is less than likely, but with evey interjection of Peace we will undoubtably come closer and closer to that aim.
Your post is so rich, I have read and re-read it several times now. Each paragraph is worthy of further discussion and examination. I have found nothing with which to disagree upon. Our age may have much to do with it, this call for Peace. Speaking for myself, I am too old for much of this shit and I often refuse to engage...other times, I will draw upon the depth of my being to convey to another, I know your mad, you have every right to be angy at the injustice you endured, knowing full well Peace is the farthest thing on thier minds at that particular time. And yes, encouraging peace is like esposing your throat to someone with a knife, a vulnerable feeling. But I have found the most growth during that state of vulnerablity. Despite my fears, I write of Peace and have never been attacked for it. The "F" word (forgiveness) well, that doesnt always go over real well and the reason for that I believe, is that I have my own issues with the "F" word and people can sense that. But Peace, is something I think we can universally agree upon as a traight we all wish and strive for. I have said before and it is always worth saying again. Peace is not only possible, but inevitable. Einstien said that one can not simultaniously have Peace and prepair for war, there is so much truth to that.
Undoing the "Left over Brainwashing" is a tricky slippery and sometimes treacherious path. Most of the struggle is tween our own ears. I say this because I think part of the brainwashing took hold in my brain, other parts of the brainwashing never was able to get a foot hold. What is left today is the non-brainwashed aspect of my brain struggling, fighting the brainwashed aspect of my brain...one can imagine the friction. Where else can I allow that friction to release the heat....HERE. For as you said, we are the only ones that understands. My wife, nope...no matter how many times I try to explain, her eyes glaze over. My Dr., nope. My friends, not them either. They all want to understand, they all want to see what it is I am speaking of, but despite thier well wishes and good intentions, they simple will never get it. So there is no other place for me to vent, but with other SURVIVORS. Sadly, as is often the case I havent vented with other survivors, but at them...much to my chagrin. So, just because I am one of the older ones on these boards, doesnt uniquely qualify me as an example to follow. Just the same, that is no reason for me to discontinue my efforts towards that Peace.
My house is beginning to stir, the wife is up and my beloved Maine Coons have all swarmed around her. They all wonder where Daddy is. That being said, I have to tend to my family now and tend to thier needs and desires. I am in hopes to read more from you in the near future. Please consider comming up with a moniker and registering so it is easier to follow your train of thought in the future. And once ya have done so, shoot me a PM. We were there at the same time, chances are I may recall your name and you, mine. If you live in the St.Pete area still, perhaps we can meet, there are others that still live in this area, nothing seems to have brought me VALIDATION as when meeting another Survivor.
Much Healing
Much Peace
Woof
AKA: Mr.D (a pet name my parents had for me, forever basterdized by Straight Inc.)
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Right On! Woof! :tup:
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I don't try to grind any axes on these boards.I don't see the point.I'm down here,never net Miller(luckily),and have enough issues of my own that are far more critical than going after Straight.It's like trying to put the 30th bullet into the burglar you caught running down the street.Straight is closed,never to reopen.Their clones will continue to appear,but they will quickly die as their day is past.For me,these boards have been therapy and nothing more.I constantly sort out the twisted mindfuck that was my 400 odd days of Straight Inc.Morgan Yacht probably represented the least traumatic time for me in Straight.I had almost a year in,was on 4th phase,and knew that my 18th birthday wasn't too far in the distance.Milton Roy was much worse for me and much of Rahall is still blacked out.The Tampa clique being exposed made life hell for the rest of us but I got to see first hand how a staff office trying to look omniscient reacts when being exposed for the clowns they are.They take it out on those without power rather than say "OOPS!!!".The Tampa Clique exposed to me what I believe that I already knew,that being that staff,after 1st Phase,really didn't know a whole lot about anybody.It was just a guessing game with one being guessed about bearing the consequences.I remember most being an object of curiosity to Staff during my 5th Phase,because I didn't once put in for Staff Trainee.As the designated chauffeur for the last month,I was driving around Woof's friend(LOL)David Crock.BTW,I'm sure ,that staff was using me for this to try to expose some weakness,some reason to keep me in.I candidly told David that unlike many others,I did not envy staff members.I knew too many of them away from the program to know that I didn't want to be one of them.It must have been the right response because I got my ticket to ride in the next ten days.Part of the scam was to get the kids in the group envy these people who sat in front of the group and drank Cokes all day.I don't hold any grudge against who handled their experience differently than I did,by becoming lifers so to speak.I only remember Rusty Rollins as a newcomer and thought his sister was a lot more interesting.I didn't get a chance to hate him.Wanda Minton did my intake and later on made life hell for everybody.Only thing worse than her incessant ranting was how she was always stupidly wrong about everything.BUT she too had to go through the program.I know of a former early Senior Staff member(Seed graduate)who spent time in Pinellas Horizon after his time on Straight staff,then managed to get his life turned around and become a happy and productive part of this universe.People gloatingly talk of David Crock being "Suicidal".If you knew his whole story,you wouldn't be so relieved.It's not just about Straight.We all were maimed by an institution that shouldn't have been able to lay a hand on any of us.Including those who became staff later.They just responded differently than I did to the same stimulus.My ax swings at George Ross,Helen Petermann,and Newton.Misfits like these used our pain to give them a niche in the world.I'd like to thank each one of them personally for the time I spent with them.I remember some things I did in my later phases that wasn't very nice,to say the least.I never would have finished had I done things differently so I hope everybody forgives me for those times.I will,in turn,forgive anybody else who wasn't very sweet on my way through.Their choices were as limited as mine.The prison built in our minds were far stronger than the walls outside.
OHH!OHH!OHH!I LIVE IN HELL!!!!AND IT REMINDS ME A LOT OF ST.PETERSBURG,FLA.
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People gloatingly talk of David Crock being "Suicidal".If you knew his whole story,you wouldn't be so relieved.
I never said anything about rejoicing in his suicidal tendencies but I could give a shit about his 'whole story'. That twisted fuck continued all the way on to Exec staff and severely damaged a LOT of people in the process!!!! He's had plenty of chances to apologize and has remained steadfast in his support of and loyalty to Straight.
It's not just about Straight.We all were maimed by an institution that shouldn't have been able to lay a hand on any of us.Including those who became staff later.They just responded differently than I did to the same stimulus.My ax swings at George Ross,Helen Petermann,and Newton.Misfits like these used our pain to give them a niche in the world.
As did Crock. He went on to attempt to bring his special brand of "counseling" to DCF kids.
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Understood!I find it easier to forgive somebody who was forced to sit on front row(like we were),confess his "sins" to strangers on a microphone(like we were),be ordered back into group by somebody on a higher phase while waiting to use the toilet(like we were),eat food being reserved for farm animals(like we were),and other ridiculous,had to be there to believed stunts then somebody who tried to feather their nest with our sorrow at a later time.It's admirable that people try to get him off of DCF.He needs psychiatric help,not a position looking over the welfare of other kids.He is a survivor of a father committing suicide,driven there,I believe by his mother being a woman so unbearable that nobody could stand living with her.This guy checked himself into the Fort Lauderdale Seed with two driving motivators.One was to get away from this person and the other to win the love of a mother who was uncapable of doing so.All of our families had issues,mine more than most.As much as I hated Straight(and believe me I did),I liked it better than sharing a home with the asshole my mother was married to 60 miles upstate.That alone might prove me certifiable to some people.I just have a hard time pointing fingers at anybody without thinking that I might be pointing a few at myself.Petermann,Ross,Barker,Newton,et al,they're the real criminals.Masquerading as therapists,conning others in group that they're therapists as well.These are the criminals.They helped nobody but themselves,brainwashed by nothing other than greed.I hope that they enjoy their earnings.It is the epitome of blood money.
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Understood!I find it easier to forgive somebody who was forced to sit on front row(like we were),confess his "sins" to strangers on a microphone(like we were),be ordered back into group by somebody on a higher phase while waiting to use the toilet(like we were),eat food being reserved for farm animals(like we were),and other ridiculous,had to be there to believed stunts then somebody who tried to feather their nest with our sorrow at a later time.
I hear ya, but I don't see Crock as much different from the lot. When he was leading the 7 step society right after I got out, he was definitely relishing in his 'status' as Exec and using it to degrade and humiliate kids who had finally "earned" the right to get the hell out! He was pretty instrumental in portraying me to staff and my family as slutty little harlot who should be shipped off to another of their lovely facilities. Thank god I didn't listen to his advice re: sex and got knocked up (not purposefully but damned conveniently) so they couldn't send me anywhere else!
It's admirable that people try to get him off of DCF. He needs psychiatric help,not a position looking over the welfare of other kids
I agree. He should never, EVER be in a position of authority over children. Ever.
He is a survivor of a father committing suicide,driven there,I believe by his mother being a woman so unbearable that nobody could stand living with her.
Yet felt it appropriate to dish the same thing out on unsuspecting youth. I was abused as a kid but funny, I've never abused children myself (save being a bitch while in Straight). If anything, I felt sympathy and a sort of comradarie (sp?) with them.
This guy checked himself into the Fort Lauderdale Seed with two driving motivators.One was to get away from this person and the other to win the love of a mother who was uncapable of doing so.All of our families had issues,mine more than most.As much as I hated Straight(and believe me I did),I liked it better than sharing a home with the asshole my mother was married to 60 miles upstate.That alone might prove me certifiable to some people.
I hear ya there too, but we've all got our issues. For someone to willingly continue the abuse (go on staff, especially all the way to Exec) they were forced to dole out while in there says something. And if he had shown any semblance of remorse for anything when confronted with it, I might feel differently. Rich M. was an exec staff and issued a resounding public apology. I have a great deal of respect for someone having the guts to own up to it and attempt to do what he could to ease some of the pain he caused. Crock has been a complete dick when asked about how he now feels about Straight and what it and he did. I wish no ill will on him, but I have little sympathy for him.
I just have a hard time pointing fingers at anybody without thinking that I might be pointing a few at myself.Petermann,Ross,Barker,Newton,et al,they're the real criminals.Masquerading as therapists,conning others in group that they're therapists as well.These are the criminals.They helped nobody but themselves,brainwashed by nothing other than greed.I hope that they enjoy their earnings.It is the epitome of blood money.
:tup:
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These are the criminals.They helped nobody but themselves,brainwashed by nothing other than greed.I hope that they enjoy their earnings.It is the epitome of blood money.
I tend to think that this description holds true for ANY and ALL staff members. They were paid to abuse children. They accepted monetary compensation to abuse children. The "I was just following orders" or "I was brainwashed" defense didn't hold water for the Nazi war criminals at Nuremberg, and it doesn't hold water for Straight staffers now. If they haven't made a public apology (as did Rich M.), then they share the blame--and even then, I'm not sure an "I'm sorry" (no matter how sincere and heartfelt) is enough to warrant forgiveness. ALL staff, from trainees to execs, were guilty of child abuse, and they received monetary compensation for their efforts. Sure, Newton and Sembler may have bought the car, but the group staff were the daily drivers......
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I tend to agree---the staff members should be held to a much higher standard than phasers. They dished out a lot more abuse than any phaser did or could, and for them to throw out an excuse that they were brainwashed, or just following orders, doesn't sit well with me, either. They "owe us amends" above and beyond what I wouold expect from someone who was just a client. Richard B., Rich M., and maybe others (though they are the ONLY ones I know of) have made attempts at righting the wrongs they inflicted on us, so I'll give them a pass, but the rest of them would die slow, painful deaths if there's any kind of justice in the universe.
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These are the criminals.They helped nobody but themselves,brainwashed by nothing other than greed.I hope that they enjoy their earnings.It is the epitome of blood money.
So we should let Jr. and Sr. staff off the hook just because they sold out cheaper than the execs did? I don't give a fuck what any of them went through, they still knew what they were doing was criminal and ethically wrong. I knew that shit as a 4th phaser about to cop out. I never cashed a check from Str8, no matter how small the amount, and that is a MAJOR difference between phasers who did abusive things and staff who ordered and participated in abuse. The staff were the ones running the show, and to let anyo of them off the hook, unless they have shown the dedication that Richard B. and a FEW others have show, they are just as guilty as Newton, Sembler, Petermann, etc.
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Yes, I notice it's not usually something a person brings up about themselves too readily on these forums. There are some that openly admit it and those are usually the ones who openly apologize for it, but others....you'd never even know they were on staff sometimes... then maybe they'll mention it in a post once in a while.
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All were very good responses and the only reason I'm adding this is not for defense of any position ,but to help me look deeper into my soul and in turn,maybe help a few heal looking into their own as well.The question I have is "How long does it take for someone,once finishing 5th phase,to pull his head out of his ass and realize that this never should have happened?".For those who remember Doug Daly(God Bless this Guy!),within,from what I heard,an hour from getting his pass(aka Seven Stepping)he hit the 7-11 and bought himself a Six pack!My hero!Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong or fill in some of the blanks.For most of us,the deprogramming process is longer and far more complicated.I don't remember who,but somebody on these boards called being on staff another phase.Another level of brainwashing.They saw something in me,but I saw something in them as well that made me say "Let's just be friends".I saw first hand how the impossible idealism and perfectionism imposed on these people created insanity on a whole new level.Taking high school classes with Chris Cassler showed me first hand how being an "effective" staff member meant forsaking anything resembling your own humanity.He,at one time,was just like a lot of us.He was put back on 3rd Phase from 4th for copying his newcomer's MIs.I think Chris later on was sabotaging me in Staff Office to keep me from moving on.He knew that from watching the hellish initiation that he was being put through that I wanted no part of the same.He probably considered that a flaw in my program.I guess his tenacity to endure really exposed the flaws in his.If he became a sadist in Sarasota,he wasn't one at Northeast High.This was developed.As for myself,I'm still pulling my head out of my ass.
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All were very good responses and the only reason I'm adding this is not for defense of any position ,but to help me look deeper into my soul and in turn,maybe help a few heal looking into their own as well.The question I have is "How long does it take for someone,once finishing 5th phase,to pull his head out of his ass and realize that this never should have happened?".For those who remember Doug Daly(God Bless this Guy!),within,from what I heard,an hour from getting his pass(aka Seven Stepping)he hit the 7-11 and bought himself a Six pack!My hero!Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong or fill in some of the blanks.For most of us,the deprogramming process is longer and far more complicated.I don't remember who,but somebody on these boards called being on staff another phase.Another level of brainwashing.They saw something in me,but I saw something in them as well that made me say "Let's just be friends".I saw first hand how the impossible idealism and perfectionism imposed on these people created insanity on a whole new level.Taking high school classes with Chris Cassler showed me first hand how being an "effective" staff member meant forsaking anything resembling your own humanity.He,at one time,was just like a lot of us.He was put back on 3rd Phase from 4th for copying his newcomer's MIs.I think Chris later on was sabotaging me in Staff Office to keep me from moving on.He knew that from watching the hellish initiation that he was being put through that I wanted no part of the same.He probably considered that a flaw in my program.I guess his tenacity to endure really exposed the flaws in his.If he became a sadist in Sarasota,he wasn't one at Northeast High.This was developed.As for myself,I'm still pulling my head out of my ass.
I think I understand what you are saying here, Sam, but I must respectfully disagree. By an extension of your argument, one could absolve Newton or Petermann or the Semblers of their crimes---after all, they were indoctrinated as Seed or Straight parents, and had quaffed some Kool-aid. "Not guilty by reason of brainwashing"? How far does this immunity from justifiable anger and resentment? Is it just to those of us that we thought were cool beforehand, or to people that we thought weren't quite as evil as the usual "bad staff" names that get throwwn around here? For those of us that suffered at the hands of these paid employees of abuse factories, but didn't "complete the rest of the program by going on staff" (to paraphrase, albeit snidely, your and I believe, Antigen's characterization of accepting a position on the peer staff ), I think these are important questions.
Personally, I think every damned one of the former staff members owes the rest of the survivors of their--yes, their--abuse some sort of apologiy. Richard, Rich , and Don, (and my apologies to any others who may have corrected their staffish behavior who I haven't mentioned) have all gone out of their way to express remorse and do something about what they did by participating in the abuse. I would like to see more former staff members do the same.
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Although,fortunately and gratefully,I was never anything more than a delivery boy for staff office,I,today,APOLOGIZE for any wrong doing,actual or perceived done to any other living creature during the time I was a patient/client/inmate/hostage at Straight.Had I made that wrong step(continuing on to staff),the pay,especially that of Junior Staff would have NEVER been a motivating factor.$115.00 weekly for 30 hours was hardly gas money,even in 1978.For those where the money was a factor,probably like Wanda,needed to take a look at the classifieds.I just can't conceive anybody staying on there for the pay.By the way,I read the post on Dave Crock in the Dave McAdams thread,I never knew he got that crazy.I spent an hour picturing him talking that way on the girl's side and if it wasn't so tragic,I'd find it comical,as I find Quentin Tarantino comical.I always wondered how marriage to Cynthia was going to affect him.Freud said everybody eventually marries their mother and I don't know if that's true in all cases,but it was in his.He must have been preaching that to the girls because I'm sure that wasn't his home he was talking about.For those who remember her,try to picture him coming home like the Great Hunter after a long day on the range to THAT woman telling her "Bring me my supper and after that GET ON YOUR KNEES".Tarantino would take notes on that scene.
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I,today,APOLOGIZE for any wrong doing,actual or perceived done to any other living creature during the time I was a patient/client/inmate/hostage at Straight.
Apology accepted, at least by me......although our time at Str8 never overlapped........
the pay,especially that of Junior Staff would have NEVER been a motivating factor.$115.00 weekly for 30 hours was hardly gas money,even in 1978.For those where the money was a factor,probably like Wanda,needed to take a look at the classifieds.I just can't conceive anybody staying on there for the pay.
For me, and a couple of others, if the posts are any indication, the issue is not "how much" the staff was paid, but the fact that they accepted financial compensation for abusing children. As the post above states, and you indicate, the "peer staff" members sold out CHEAP. By accepting compensation for their abusive actions during their employment by Straight, Inc., they were doing more than giving tacit approval of the abuses, they were part of the machine. No one was beltlooping them from the building to a car, to a locked "foster home"; they could have left at any time. Many, many phasers did so, and it was certainly more difficult for them to leave than it would have been for a staff member. A staff member could have resigned, or simply stopped showing up for work, particularly those who were over the age of 18. I can forgive phasers who, although possibly misguided, "did what they had to do" to get out of there, but as far as the staff is concerned, there needs to be a higher standard set for them, IMO.