Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: wonderwoman2112 on April 05, 2009, 12:31:07 PM
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Hi to all---I am tying to help my daughter find the right path and we are just so stuck. She is 18 and did not finish high school, although the plan is for her to get her GED in the next month. She has certainly had a non-traditional teenage experience---wilderness (which she loved, by the way), TBS (which she hated and didn't finish), living on her own at age 17 and working to support herself. She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction. She is very "artsy" and has always wanted to go to art school. She had begun a portfolio 2 yrs ago, and although small, it is good. She really does want to go to college, but the whole "h.s dropout" thing is a huge regret of hers and I think she is really scared to even try for fear of rejection. I am hoping that some of you have had similar experiences and found community colleges, art schools, or even traditional colleges that embraced your non-traditional path. She will need a fairly nurturing and supportive environment as she needs a lot of positive reinforcement. I would be so thankful for any thoughts any of you might share. THANK YOU!!!
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Hi to all---I am tying to help my daughter find the right path and we are just so stuck. She is 18 and did not finish high school, although the plan is for her to get her GED in the next month. She has certainly had a non-traditional teenage experience---wilderness (which she loved, by the way), TBS (which she hated and didn't finish), living on her own at age 17 and working to support herself. She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction. She is very "artsy" and has always wanted to go to art school. She had begun a portfolio 2 yrs ago, and although small, it is good. She really does want to go to college, but the whole "h.s dropout" thing is a huge regret of hers and I think she is really scared to even try for fear of rejection. I am hoping that some of you have had similar experiences and found community colleges, art schools, or even traditional colleges that embraced your non-traditional path. She will need a fairly nurturing and supportive environment as she needs a lot of positive reinforcement. I would be so thankful for any thoughts any of you might share. THANK YOU!!!
Acutally, what happened is you forced her to "drop out" of hs by forcing her on a "forced march" than locking her in a private prison. Congrats. You contrubuted to ruining your kids life! Thank god your a troll and none of what you say is real!
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Thanks for such a helpful reply.
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Thanks for such a helpful reply.
You’re welcome, you psychotic child abusing bitch, or more likely, a staff-program-parent-troll who gets off impersonating one.
Why don't you go to a rape survivor forum, announce you paid a gaggle of goons to gang-rape a 17 year old for 4 years straight, and would like some advice about getting that 17 year old into a college after that “untraditional” past?
Why don't you pull your head out of your self-absorbed ass and look around and see what it's like to be abducted and held captive, force marched, brainwashed and tortured and have other such "untraditional" experiences, and get back to me.
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I have looked at your previous posts and she has been through quiet a bit. As I could have predicted if I had been on this board, she is now suffering from various degrees of PTSD, which is normal considering that she has been sometime at a TBS.
If she is interested in art, she can only excel if she gets more inputs from various cultures. I would recommend that she should travel to Denmark and attend one of our Folk High school (http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folk_high_school). They are drug/alcohol free environments on campus but the students attend life outside in weekends.
Having been placed in a stressful lockdown and a wilderness what she needs is a positive environment where she can get some postive feedback on her art. She need successes in her own pace rather than being forced to be productive.
May I suggest Thorstedlund (http://http://www.kunsthojskolen.dk/default.aspx?PageID=69323). Remember she would be several thousand miles from negative peers. The only setback is that Denmark and the States don't transfer credits. Here is a study guide to Denmark in English (http://http://www.study-guide-to-denmark.fcpages.com/).
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she needs to get the GED and apply at the Art Institute. They don't care about your high school past as long as you have talent. Its also an AWESOME program and is a non traditional program, cuts most of the general ed classes in half.
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Which art institute---there are lots of them?????
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Which art institute---there are lots of them?????
whichever one is closest to you... they all operate the same program.
this is exactly where I was at her age, unsure of myself and scared, however I was not allowed to go to my dream school because my mother was not willing to take out the student loans after the program, and to this day my biggest regret is that I didn't go when I had the chance.
Encourage her to go, it really will make the biggest difference in her life.
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Take the money you would spend on college or obtaining GED, food and living costs, add it all up. Now, write a check to your daughter for this full amount. Then tell her she is released from your presence for the sake of your long term well being. Then don't contact her for 10 years, or ever. You will think this is an insult or joke, but I'm dead serious- this is the only option that will work for her benefit. If you want to be that fix-it helicopter parent who saves the day, and you got to get your fix, or definition for existing through actions taken on your daughter's behalf, then whatever. If you were dumb enough to send a kid to "wilderness" then we already know the answer to what kind of direction you are headed.
Daughter. If you read this, get out now. Just do it. leave. get out now! right now! Or if you stay, be sure to bring up the akward situations from wilderness during dinner for laughs. "Hey mom this meal kind of reminds me of the beans and rice I ate when forced to hike 10 miles in the desert, THANKS AGAIN FOR THAT".
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BTW. Real artists , you know people who can actually make a living for it, dont need school. School studies them and regurgitates imitators, why do that to yourself? seriously, cut the girl a check and call it a day.
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Hi to all---I am tying to help my daughter find the right path and we are just so stuck. She is 18 and did not finish high school, although the plan is for her to get her GED in the next month. She has certainly had a non-traditional teenage experience---wilderness (which she loved, by the way), TBS (which she hated and didn't finish), living on her own at age 17 and working to support herself. She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction. She is very "artsy" and has always wanted to go to art school. She had begun a portfolio 2 yrs ago, and although small, it is good. She really does want to go to college, but the whole "h.s dropout" thing is a huge regret of hers and I think she is really scared to even try for fear of rejection. I am hoping that some of you have had similar experiences and found community colleges, art schools, or even traditional colleges that embraced your non-traditional path. She will need a fairly nurturing and supportive environment as she needs a lot of positive reinforcement. I would be so thankful for any thoughts any of you might share. THANK YOU!!!
Anne, is that you?
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I don't agree. college ESPECIALLY for artist is important. I was a self taught graphic designer for 5 years until I realized I wasn't as good as I could be with some education. These days it is REALLY hard to make a living off art. your best bet is to get into web design or find a way to sell a marketable product. Marketing as well is a very important part of art and if sales doesn't come natural to you an education can go a long way. Art school isnt like college... its not a "oh ill just take some classes while i find myself" kind of program. It's diligent, current and very necessary learning that assists you in creating a magnificent portfolio.
Despite the fact that this woman sent her child to a program, I still think that art college is the best possible step for a young artist, being one myself that is what I would do if I could go back in time. Today's economy doesn't reward those who dreamed their life away, it rewards those who do and I cant help but think that if I had gone to art school I would be much more financially stable and had a much more enjoyable young adulthood.
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I disagree. a lot of study and skill development goes into it. its like playing a musical instrument. You don’t just wake up one day and paint like Monet. The greatest artist of all time, who was unable to fulfill his/her potential because s/he was murdered by CEDU running springs, studied art with a tutor and painted and drew independently every day of his/her life until thier abduction and environmentally induced lobotomy.Eventually her/his murderers will be in prison. Wish me luck.
You can be self taught, but school helps a lot. It gets you into good habits connects you to other artists and people your age with similar interests and intellect.
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its easy to focus on projecting our own missed opportunities on this girl, but come on, there is only one sentence of importance in her entire paragraph.
She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction.
only solution is to get the heck away from her family. if not, she might end up in a strange dysfunctional relationship like pam and her kid. you know birds, nests.. making them fly and all that.
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http://www.youtube.com/wonderwoman2112 (http://www.youtube.com/wonderwoman2112)
I wonder if that is her kid in the videos? I just googled her fornits username and found that.
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its easy to focus on projecting our own missed opportunities on this girl, but come on, there is only one sentence of importance in her entire paragraph.
She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction.
only solution is to get the heck away from her family. if not, she might end up in a strange dysfunctional relationship like pam and her kid. you know birds, nests.. making them fly and all that.
well maybe shes just not ready for that... considering the economic crisis I'm sure its not easy for an 18 year old to go at it alone. if her mother is willing to send her away to college then this girl should jump at the chance.
we dont know anything about this girl and her mothers relationship, it could be good or it could be bad but that was not the subject of this post... shes looking for advice and asking people she knows have been through what she is going through right now. I intend to tell her what I SHOULD have done when I was at the same juncture. Your thoughts on college might be different but telling this girl to flee the home is really not competent advice.
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its easy to focus on projecting our own missed opportunities on this girl, but come on, there is only one sentence of importance in her entire paragraph.
She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction.
only solution is to get the heck away from her family. if not, she might end up in a strange dysfunctional relationship like pam and her kid. you know birds, nests.. making them fly and all that.
well maybe shes just not ready for that... considering the economic crisis I'm sure its not easy for an 18 year old to go at it alone. if her mother is willing to send her away to college then this girl should jump at the chance.
we dont know anything about this girl and her mothers relationship, it could be good or it could be bad but that was not the subject of this post... shes looking for advice and asking people she knows have been through what she is going through right now. I intend to tell her what I SHOULD have done when I was at the same juncture. Your thoughts on college might be different but telling this girl to flee the home is really not competent advice.
thats why she should cut the kid the check. if this parent wants to send her kid to some other city then hey, thats great. the further, the better. but living with your former jailer of a parent? thats just a recipe for problems, take for example those miss auntie pam blog posts in the wasp forum. or she can remain at home with her busybody mom making posts about her on fornits into her twenties and endure the emotional angst which accompanies that. to me the best antidote to the taking of freedom is to set yourself free.
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its easy to focus on projecting our own missed opportunities on this girl, but come on, there is only one sentence of importance in her entire paragraph.
She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction.
only solution is to get the heck away from her family. if not, she might end up in a strange dysfunctional relationship like pam and her kid. you know birds, nests.. making them fly and all that.
well maybe shes just not ready for that... considering the economic crisis I'm sure its not easy for an 18 year old to go at it alone. if her mother is willing to send her away to college then this girl should jump at the chance.
we dont know anything about this girl and her mothers relationship, it could be good or it could be bad but that was not the subject of this post... shes looking for advice and asking people she knows have been through what she is going through right now. I intend to tell her what I SHOULD have done when I was at the same juncture. Your thoughts on college might be different but telling this girl to flee the home is really not competent advice.
thats why she should cut the kid the check. if this parent wants to send her kid to some other city then hey, thats great. the further, the better. but living with your former jailer of a parent? thats just a recipe for problems, take for example those miss auntie pam blog posts in the wasp forum. or she can remain at home with her busybody mom making posts about her on fornits into her twenties and endure the emotional angst which accompanies that. to me the best antidote to the taking of freedom is to set yourself free.
while i agree that her time would be better spent living in student housing, that wasn't the question here. I say go to college, better yet send her off to a different city for college, or move out with friends, but you say cut a check and bounce and I just don't see that option as being more appropriate when considering her future.
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while i agree that her time would be better spent living in student housing, that wasn't the question here. I say go to college, better yet send her off to a different city for college, or move out with friends, but you say cut a check and bounce and I just don't see that option as being more appropriate when considering her future.
well i left my crystal ball in my car so i can't consider what is appropriate for someone's future i never met. i am going on what this mother said.
STRIKE 1-wilderness parent
STRIKE 2- program parent
STRIKE 3-kids 'problem' returns mysteriously when they live with family
STRIKE 4- coming to fornits for parenting advice
STRIKE 5 - repeats the phrase "non-traditional" so much you want to bash your skull in
most people are better able to figure out their futures for themselves. manipulative, scheming parents are not better equipped to decide what to do with their kid. we dont know what reasons the kid was sent away, but for whatever reason, wilderness and "TBS" imprisonment are about as wrong of a choice for a solution as you can get. that shows me this parent is adept at picking the wrong solution, as well as looking for solutions to problems which do not exist. so why keep going back to the well for a drink once it's been poisoned?
the mom might think that art school is what this kid wants. but, im willing to bet this mother doesn't know her daughter really well, or what her priorities are. this mom can keep trying to create a life for a daughter who doesn't exist, based on incorrect assumptions and romantic notions of reconciliation, yet it will only exist in her own head. fakeness, unreal expectations and putting on a show... well at least this kid got plenty of practice.
btw i wonder how much money this mom spent on all her daughters program adventures. probably enough to pay her kids rent and bills for a couple years. oh, but no... it wasnt a waste. :wall:
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while i agree that her time would be better spent living in student housing, that wasn't the question here. I say go to college, better yet send her off to a different city for college, or move out with friends, but you say cut a check and bounce and I just don't see that option as being more appropriate when considering her future.
well i left my crystal ball in my car so i can't consider what is appropriate for someone's future i never met. i am going on what this mother said.
STRIKE 1-wilderness parent
STRIKE 2- program parent
STRIKE 3-kids 'problem' returns mysteriously when they live with family
STRIKE 4- coming to fornits for parenting advice
STRIKE 5 - repeats the phrase "non-traditional" so much you want to bash your skull in
most people are better able to figure out their futures for themselves. manipulative, scheming parents are not better equipped to decide what to do with their kid. we dont know what reasons the kid was sent away, but for whatever reason, wilderness and "TBS" imprisonment are about as wrong of a choice for a solution as you can get. that shows me this parent is adept at picking the wrong solution, as well as looking for solutions to problems which do not exist. so why keep going back to the well for a drink once it's been poisoned?
the mom might think that art school is what this kid wants. but, im willing to bet this mother doesn't know her daughter really well, or what her priorities are. this mom can keep trying to create a life for a daughter who doesn't exist, based on incorrect assumptions and romantic notions of reconciliation, yet it will only exist in her own head. fakeness, unreal expectations and putting on a show... well at least this kid got plenty of practice.
btw i wonder how much money this mom spent on all her daughters program adventures. probably enough to pay her kids rent and bills for a couple years. oh, but no... it wasnt a waste. :wall:
Fair enough. I dont dissagree with your logic. I just think if the mom is willing to pay for art school she should take it. we all know this mom wont just cut a check.
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we all know this mom wont just cut a check.
of that i have no doubt. i agree with you if you can get free art school then i would too. as long as your parent didnt hold it over your head, which a lot of parents tend to do. but if a kid is willing to play that game to get school paid for who is to blame them.
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I support the strategy that she needs college, but can she adapt to college without transition?
I doubt it and that's why I suggested that she gets a stressfree period where there is no programs.
She also needs a motivation to take her GED. People up in Frederikssund are down to earth. Send her there or to one one of the other folk high schools some weeks.
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If we are taking La Europa (http://http://www.secretprisonsforteens.dk/fornitswiki/index.php/La_Europa_Academy), we are talking level systems in a kind of downscaled WWASP edition.
She needs a break in a total other environment before she can adapt to all the temptations in college.
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Ok---I've had about enough of you people and your bullshit. You don't know what the f*** you are talking about. You've never met us and you don't know our situation. Yes, I sent my daughter to wilderness 2yrs ago---an experience that she, to this day, will tell you was one of the highlights of her life. Yes, I sent my daughter to a TBS. She hated it, we figured out what was really going on there and she came home. She moved in with her 20 yr old boyfriend and dropped out of high school, against our wishes, but WITH our knowledge AND our continued support. We have never stopped talking. She ASKED to move home because SHE wanted to be here. Since moving home, she is finally free of the abusive boyfriend and has been able to hold down a job, something she couldn't do while living with him and his drama. We have made absolutely no demands on her while she tries to figure it all out. She comes and goes as she pleases and we don't ask questions. She has lots of friends and is generally happy, but can't figure out what to do next. SHE is the one committed to going to art school. If I had my choice, I would encourage her to do something like Americorps and travel and experience other people and places, but she tells me that is not what SHE wants. To this day, I remain committed to helping her in any way she asks, and guess what----she asked me to help with finding the right school. I turned to you because I thought you, of all groups of people, would be dedicated to the cause of helping a kid whose been through hell and back. How wrong I was!!!! And what kind of absolute pathetic, parasitic worm goes googling names and looking up videos. You all assert how victimized kids like my daughter have been because of parents like me. How do you think she would feel about complete strangers playing detective games to figure out who she is. Pathetic. Nauseatingly pathetic.
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And what kind of absolute pathetic, parasitic worm goes googling names and looking up videos. You all assert how victimized kids like my daughter have been because of parents like me. How do you think she would feel about complete strangers playing detective games to figure out who she is. Pathetic. Nauseatingly pathetic.
Anne-
You know what's pathetic? The fact you go on the internet and tell any random person all about your daughter, and then blame others for your decision to do so. You are also dumb enough to use the same username for multiple websites, you must have missed basic internets 101. I would like to know how your daughter feels about you coming onto random internet sites and asking for advice about her. YOU posted her information, just because someone googled it doesn't take away from the fact it's 100% your responsibility for any information you post about your family on the internet.
You aren't the first program parent to do this. Program parents could care less about their children's privacy, they only need to fulfill their selfish desire to fix a problem that doesn't exist. I hope your daughter moves far away from you. The negativity of your presence emanates across the internet so deeply I can feel it here.
Since you are 40, you must of had her young. Do you think that has anything to do with it? Is her dad still around? I'm going to guess no. Big surprise there... :roflmao:
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Ok---I've had about enough of you people and your bullshit. You don't know what the f*** you are talking about. You've never met us and you don't know our situation. Yes, I sent my daughter to wilderness 2yrs ago---an experience that she, to this day, will tell you was one of the highlights of her life. Yes, I sent my daughter to a TBS. She hated it, we figured out what was really going on there and she came home. She moved in with her 20 yr old boyfriend and dropped out of high school, against our wishes, but WITH our knowledge AND our continued support. We have never stopped talking. She ASKED to move home because SHE wanted to be here. Since moving home, she is finally free of the abusive boyfriend and has been able to hold down a job, something she couldn't do while living with him and his drama. We have made absolutely no demands on her while she tries to figure it all out. She comes and goes as she pleases and we don't ask questions. She has lots of friends and is generally happy, but can't figure out what to do next. SHE is the one committed to going to art school. If I had my choice, I would encourage her to do something like Americorps and travel and experience other people and places, but she tells me that is not what SHE wants. To this day, I remain committed to helping her in any way she asks, and guess what----she asked me to help with finding the right school. I turned to you because I thought you, of all groups of people, would be dedicated to the cause of helping a kid whose been through hell and back. How wrong I was!!!! And what kind of absolute pathetic, parasitic worm goes googling names and looking up videos. You all assert how victimized kids like my daughter have been because of parents like me. How do you think she would feel about complete strangers playing detective games to figure out who she is. Pathetic. Nauseatingly pathetic.
Did she go to WT willingly, or was she kidnapped? Did she go to the TBS willingly or was she kidnapped? If she went willingly, i dont think most people will have a problem with you.
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And what kind of absolute pathetic, parasitic worm goes googling names and looking up videos. You all assert how victimized kids like my daughter have been because of parents like me. How do you think she would feel about complete strangers playing detective games to figure out who she is. Pathetic. Nauseatingly pathetic.
Anne-
You know what's pathetic? The fact you go on the internet and tell any random person all about your daughter, and then blame others for your decision to do so. You are also dumb enough to use the same username for multiple websites, you must have missed basic internets 101. I would like to know how your daughter feels about you coming onto random internet sites and asking for advice about her. YOU posted her information, just because someone googled it doesn't take away from the fact it's 100% your responsibility for any information you post about your family on the internet.
You aren't the first program parent to do this. Program parents could care less about their children's privacy, they only need to fulfill their selfish desire to fix a problem that doesn't exist. I hope your daughter moves far away from you. The negativity of your presence emanates across the internet so deeply I can feel it here.
Since you are 40, you must of had her young. Do you think that has anything to do with it? Is her dad still around? I'm going to guess no. Big surprise there... :roflmao:
i dont think this is ann. Do you mean Ottawa Anne? No, this woman seems pretty different..SANE is the word i might use, a word i would, of course, never use for anne.
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Ottawa Anne
(http://http://www.wordforge.net/images/smilies/dancingdick.gif)
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BTW. Real artists , you know people who can actually make a living for it, dont need school. School studies them and regurgitates imitators, why do that to yourself? seriously, cut the girl a check and call it a day.
Lol.. Ok. I guess Andy Warhol doesn't count, then. (Carnegie Melon)
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All art is quite useless
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From the other thread
There are thousands of parents out there, myself one, who got suckered into the whole TBS thing and regret it mightily. So how do we get past it and help our kids now if the only responses we get are condemnations. It's ya'll that don't have these kids well-being at heart---you just want to bash away at Mom and Dad. Well, Mom and Dad are painfully aware of the mistakes they made.
I'm in the same boat wonder woman. I recently got suckered into this whole industry myself.
Alberta Adolescent Recovery Center, AARC, Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
My son has been out for a number of months now. Biggest mistake of my life. If he ever forgives me, I know I won't forgive myself.
These places are like vampires, sucking the life, love and trust out of your family, all while lining their pockets. Interesting how we parents find fornits AFTER the industry has a grip on our lives! I would have ran as fast as possible in the opposite direction had I seen this info prior to making that phone call!
In hindsight, all I can really say is, you can't find your daughter's path, you can't "Help" her find her path. She needs to find her OWN path. Try to rebuild the trust in your relationship, be there to support her and listen to her. Personally, I think if they need to drift for a bit while they sort it all out, that's ok! Like someone else said, they're young, and it's a time to make and learn from mistakes.
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Interesting how we parents find fornits AFTER the industry has a grip on our lives! I would have ran as fast as possible in the opposite direction had I seen this info prior to making that phone call!
Not all parents. Wonderwoman was here asking about programs in 2007. I can only assume that she sent her kid to a program anyways, based on the information in this thread and wonderwoman's older posts. Click on her username and then find users posts and you can see for yourself, this particular parent was not duped. Wonderwoman found fornits before using a program, and looks like fornits was right because now she's back saying the program didn't work.
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"Not all parents. Wonderwoman was here asking about programs in 2007. I can only assume that she sent her kid to a program anyways, based on the information in this thread and wonderwoman's older posts. Click on her username and then find users posts and you can see for yourself, this particular parent was not duped. Wonderwoman found fornits before using a program, and looks like fornits was right because now she's back saying the program didn't work."
Wrong again, guest. I found fornits AFTER she started the TBS, when I started to become disenfranchised and skeptical with the program and started searching the web for answers.
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You never answered if you paid to have someone kidnapp your daughter to compel her to particpate in forced march therapy (wilderness) or incarceration therapy(TBS)
Will you be so kind as to do so? Just curious
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If you are here for answers why don't you utilize the PM function and PM those with screen names who seem inclined to give you useful advice? I could care less myself as you probably have already seen my suggestions in the CAN forum.
let her go..