Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on January 19, 2009, 11:50:13 PM
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Niles told me to tell you about what's going on, and to ask for help to fix this crap. So basically here's my story:
I am an adult, 21 years old, but I am not treated like one at all. I have a strict, ruling father, whom I honestly think is a little off but I feel compelled to listen to his every command. About my home life: I live alone, well it doesn't feel that way. You see, dad lives just next door. I do have a sister but she ran to live with someone else when she was very young, and leads a much different and more independent life than I do. My biggest fear is that dad will die and then I will not have a clue what to do. Can't drive, have never worked, live off gov't checks and will go into more detail about that later. For now I am searching desperately for someone to live with or marry who will help take care of me, as horrible as that may seem. Dad does EVERYTHING for me; he pays my bills and buys my groceries (with my gov't money), he even goes so far as to fix my hair when I leave to go to college daily. The reason I get gov't money by the way is because after I was forced to go into a behavorial health center, I was told I have schizophrenia because I tend to have vivid nightmares. To be honest, I read up on schizophrenia online and according to what I read, true schizophrenics actually have constant auditory and visual hallucinations. I am on many types of medications, which I will go into detail about in a bit, and I think I have been experimented on with different types of medications, because I can recall, including an incident that happened a few weeks back, 3 times that I have actually hallucinated during my lifetime; that would be once during a high fever when I was young which may or may not have involved medications, a second time when I took one too many of some sort of psychiatric pill when the instructions were 'mixed up' and I hallucinated for about 24 hours, and finally the incident the other week when I messed up with some cold medicine that I was not suppose to take with my prescribed meds, and that caused a reaction that lasted for several hours. Now a bit about my medication: I am on the following prescribed medicines aside from some amoxicillan that I have to take just now for a bit of a flu I have; Abilify (the main one for my 'schizophrenia'), Lexapro (for depression/anxiety, which I do have a bit of anxiety; to be honest I'm afraid of people in real life and my stomach even upsets when I find myself in a big crowd; it's only because I'm not really allowed to go places and do things like other people because of dad's strict rules), Aciphex for my acid reflux (which is the only one I believe is REALLY necessary because I cannot go a day without getting heartburn no matter what I eat if I'm off of this), Pills for Vitamin D3, Injections for Vitamin B12 once monthly, Synthroid (for my thyroid apparantly), and Lipitor (well I may need this because according to a blood test my cholestorol was too high; another thing is I'm slightly overweight), and finally there may be some more that I am taking currently, this was most of them though, and also I have been on various types of meds over the years all of which I cannot recall. I would also like to mention I had a procedure done recently, a tubal ligation, and the gynocologist agreed with my dad immediately when he told her I'm a schizophrenic and I should have the surgery. I had the tubes cut and burned so it should not be reversable. A minor detail is that I am on Medicaid because of my 'medical conditions' which covered the surgery as well as covers everything else such as the frequent doctor visits. It seems that something new comes up all the time and I'm forced to be on another med or something. My doctor, whom I honestly believe does not know her ass from a hole in the ground because she often prescribes non-FDA-approved herbal meds just as easily as she writes out the real meds, has been my medical doctor ever since I was about 11 or 12 years old. Soon I'm getting a different doctor, however. Once I asked my doctor, Dr. Phillips (who is not really a doctor but a practitioner actually), why am I on so many medications? And she answered, don't worry, its normal. Aside from her, I also have a psychiatrist, Dr. Wilson, who is on the 'ACT Team', who come out to my house often, probably once or twice a week, to ask questions, but they have to have my father present usually, or that's what they 'prefer'. The 'ACT Team' consists of many different people, whom I don't believe are real doctors or nurses, who do home visits as aforementioned. Of course, all of them think I have shizophrenia. Now I would like to tell everything I can think of about the past that led up to all this: I used to be picked on in school a lot. Typical outcast, I got in several fights over people just plain being rude to me. This began in junior high, and because I was such a 'rebel', they thought I had a problem, so I started going out to this place close to where I live, a mental health center I guess, where I saw a psychiatrist, whom prescribed me my first psychiatric meds, and would talk to me and ask me questions and play games with me. When I got too old to visit this building, I went to another building on the other side of town for adults, and I would see some psychiatrist I remember not so well, because this only occurred for a short time before the ACT Team started doing their home visits. I remember clearly getting in fights with dad a lot, because for a time I didn't listen to him well, and any little thing that I said set him off. In one particular fight, dad pulled out a gun on me and threatened to shoot me if I didn't listen. And so, the next day he took me to the building where I visited the psychiatrist, saying it was just for a visit, then began telling some lady working there that was in charge I think, all about how I had threatened him with a weapon, which was such a lie, and said that they should hold me somewhere to 'evaluate' me for awhile, and he was very persistant until she said that she would do it, where at first she was saying it was not necessary. Then an officer came in and handcuffed me, and I was told to sit in a small room until I was to be picked up. I sat there from morning to night, a little water I think but no food, and then I was escorted in a police car off to Dorthea Dix mental hospital in Raleigh, about two hours away from where I lived. I stayed there for a week and begged to leave, however, they wouldn't allow me to until it was OK'd by my father. All during this time, I was put on a diet because I am slightly overweight as I mentioned, and about once a day I was visited by the doctor who worked there. I think that sort of broke me from arguing with dad, because ever since, I have simply obeyed him. I hope that was enough information, now I have a few questions for you all.
How do I find out about my rights and legal status?
How do I get a second opinion and fight my diagnosis?
How do I move out, or get therapy from my condition if I have one?
HOW DO I GET AWAY FROM MY DAD AND BECOME THE ADULT I'M SUPPOSE TO BE?
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Don't think I don't know what game you are playing here. This is low, even for you.
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Don't think I don't know what game you are playing here. This is low, even for you.
:feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :feedtrolls: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat: :beat:
Where did deb run off to? I don't know the fucking laws here, could someone hel?
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*help even. Bleh.
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See this topic on Mental Health rights:
viewtopic.php?f=71&t=26638 (http://www.fornits.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=71&t=26638)
It sounds like your father controls more than just the physical aspects of your life. He also controls how the world interprets you. This can present a dangerous conflict of interest, e.g., when your father tried to pass off responsibility for pulling out the gun...onto you.
You need to get your own advocate somehow, i.e., someone who is not entwined and invested in your father's interests.
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Walk away...
Get your last govt. check.. cash it.. and walk the fuck away. No wait..
RUN the fuck away..
Get a bus ticket and jump states.. Get as far away as possible. Communicate to your father if you want via email, but do not let him know where you are. Get away from him and stay away from him.
Honestly.. In my opinion you'd be better off homeless than living with that insanity.
Good luck.
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Niles told me to tell you about what's going on, and to ask for help to fix this crap. So basically here's my story:
I would also like to mention I had a procedure done recently, a tubal ligation, and the gynocologist agreed with my dad immediately when he told her I'm a schizophrenic and I should have the surgery. I had the tubes cut and burned so it should not be reversable. A minor detail is that I am on Medicaid because of my 'medical conditions' which covered the surgery as well as covers everything else such as the frequent doctor visits.
This is fucking psycho... this part here made me want to be sick. Your reproductive rights have been stolen from you.
Seriously...
run.
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I'm kind of afraid to run away... AGAIN... because the first 2 times I tried it, I just ended up right back home. I also don't want to upset my father...
If I could have run away living comfortably by now, I'd do it. But I'm only making about $600 a month...
Any ideas?
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Could you get a user account? That way you could use the PM function.
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I am an adult, 21 years old
Then act like it. You are acting like you are still a child. You can do whatever you want, you're an adult. Nobody is stopping you but yourself. Stop whining on the internet and go do it.
Or you can sign yourself into Benchmark like psy did. He was an adult when he did that too. Then you can come on fornits and talk about it for the next 30 years. do you want to be like psy?
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I'm kind of afraid to run away... AGAIN... because the first 2 times I tried it, I just ended up right back home. I also don't want to upset my father...
If I could have run away living comfortably by now, I'd do it. But I'm only making about $600 a month...
Any ideas?
Don't just fucking run away suddenly without planning.
Jesus christ, do you have any contact info for people you know if you did run away? Phone numbers? ID?
Don't do hasty things. Find out some facts and plan, don't do things suddenly.
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I am an adult, 21 years old
Then act like it. You are acting like you are still a child. You can do whatever you want, you're an adult. Nobody is stopping you but yourself. Stop whining on the internet and go do it.
Or you can sign yourself into Benchmark like psy did. He was an adult when he did that too. Then you can come on fornits and talk about it for the next 30 years. do you want to be like psy?
Listen idiot, someone who is "legally an adult" but controlled and cooped up their entire life has no idea how to make their own decisions or exercise volition at all, all they can do is what they're told to do. You have to learn how to be an independent person, and if that is prevented, they haven't.
Someone is not the same as you just because their age in years is over 18. Try to think a little more :beat:
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Ok it's me again... to let you know I've registered, my name's Olivia. And I'm still trying to figure out exactly how to get a second opinion and a lawyer...
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Niles also said I should add in a couple facts... my dad is so overcontrolling he forces anything he hears from either other people or the TV news onto me... for example, he heard from some unknown source that peanutbutter is killing people across the country. So he found a spoon with some peanutbutter in my kitchen sink and yelled at me for eating the peanutbutter when he explicitly stated not to.
Another example of his control freak nature was the fact I can't do ANYTHING with my body that I want... as in, no tattoos, no extra piercings other than the standard one hole in each ear which he apparently regrets because its spoken against in the Bible... and he flipped out when I got red highlights in my hair.
A final note I would like to point out is he threatens to beat me with a belt constantly which I've been told he in fact cannot do, and he claims if I were to call the police on him if he does so, they would laugh at me because I have a mental problem. He hasn't hit me yet, though.
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It sounse like your dad is more or less running his own program on you. He has you labeled crazy so he can basically do whatever he wants to you and get away with it. In other areas of your life, including your sex life / reproductive rights, he controls you in a way that is best described as totalistic.
Does this sound familiar:
http://www.rickross.com/reference/brain ... ing18.html (http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing18.html)
How many of these does your father do:
* early verbal and/or physical dominance,
* isolation/imprisonment
* fear arousal and maintenance
* guilt induction
* contingent expressions of "love"
* enforced loyalty to the aggressor and self-denunciation
* promotion of powerlessness and helplessness
* pathological expressions of jealousy
* hope-instilling behaviors
* required secrecy (13)
PS: fornits is an unmoderated forum. Please ignore the assholes.
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If "Niles" sent you to fornits for advice on your personal life, he must really hate you.
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Niles told me to tell you about what's going on, and to ask for help to fix this crap. So basically here's my story:
I am an adult, 21 years old, but I am not treated like one at all. I have a strict, ruling father, whom I honestly think is a little off but I feel compelled to listen to his every command. About my home life: I live alone, well it doesn't feel that way. You see, dad lives just next door. I do have a sister but she ran to live with someone else when she was very young, and leads a much different and more independent life than I do. My biggest fear is that dad will die and then I will not have a clue what to do. Can't drive, have never worked, live off gov't checks and will go into more detail about that later. For now I am searching desperately for someone to live with or marry who will help take care of me, as horrible as that may seem. Dad does EVERYTHING for me; he pays my bills and buys my groceries (with my gov't money), he even goes so far as to fix my hair when I leave to go to college daily. The reason I get gov't money by the way is because after I was forced to go into a behavorial health center, I was told I have schizophrenia because I tend to have vivid nightmares. To be honest, I read up on schizophrenia online and according to what I read, true schizophrenics actually have constant auditory and visual hallucinations. I am on many types of medications, which I will go into detail about in a bit, and I think I have been experimented on with different types of medications, because I can recall, including an incident that happened a few weeks back, 3 times that I have actually hallucinated during my lifetime; that would be once during a high fever when I was young which may or may not have involved medications, a second time when I took one too many of some sort of psychiatric pill when the instructions were 'mixed up' and I hallucinated for about 24 hours, and finally the incident the other week when I messed up with some cold medicine that I was not suppose to take with my prescribed meds, and that caused a reaction that lasted for several hours. Now a bit about my medication: I am on the following prescribed medicines aside from some amoxicillan that I have to take just now for a bit of a flu I have; Abilify (the main one for my 'schizophrenia'), Lexapro (for depression/anxiety, which I do have a bit of anxiety; to be honest I'm afraid of people in real life and my stomach even upsets when I find myself in a big crowd; it's only because I'm not really allowed to go places and do things like other people because of dad's strict rules), Aciphex for my acid reflux (which is the only one I believe is REALLY necessary because I cannot go a day without getting heartburn no matter what I eat if I'm off of this), Pills for Vitamin D3, Injections for Vitamin B12 once monthly, Synthroid (for my thyroid apparantly), and Lipitor (well I may need this because according to a blood test my cholestorol was too high; another thing is I'm slightly overweight), and finally there may be some more that I am taking currently, this was most of them though, and also I have been on various types of meds over the years all of which I cannot recall. I would also like to mention I had a procedure done recently, a tubal ligation, and the gynocologist agreed with my dad immediately when he told her I'm a schizophrenic and I should have the surgery. I had the tubes cut and burned so it should not be reversable. A minor detail is that I am on Medicaid because of my 'medical conditions' which covered the surgery as well as covers everything else such as the frequent doctor visits. It seems that something new comes up all the time and I'm forced to be on another med or something. My doctor, whom I honestly believe does not know her ass from a hole in the ground because she often prescribes non-FDA-approved herbal meds just as easily as she writes out the real meds, has been my medical doctor ever since I was about 11 or 12 years old. Soon I'm getting a different doctor, however. Once I asked my doctor, Dr. Phillips (who is not really a doctor but a practitioner actually), why am I on so many medications? And she answered, don't worry, its normal. Aside from her, I also have a psychiatrist, Dr. Wilson, who is on the 'ACT Team', who come out to my house often, probably once or twice a week, to ask questions, but they have to have my father present usually, or that's what they 'prefer'. The 'ACT Team' consists of many different people, whom I don't believe are real doctors or nurses, who do home visits as aforementioned. Of course, all of them think I have shizophrenia. Now I would like to tell everything I can think of about the past that led up to all this: I used to be picked on in school a lot. Typical outcast, I got in several fights over people just plain being rude to me. This began in junior high, and because I was such a 'rebel', they thought I had a problem, so I started going out to this place close to where I live, a mental health center I guess, where I saw a psychiatrist, whom prescribed me my first psychiatric meds, and would talk to me and ask me questions and play games with me. When I got too old to visit this building, I went to another building on the other side of town for adults, and I would see some psychiatrist I remember not so well, because this only occurred for a short time before the ACT Team started doing their home visits. I remember clearly getting in fights with dad a lot, because for a time I didn't listen to him well, and any little thing that I said set him off. In one particular fight, dad pulled out a gun on me and threatened to shoot me if I didn't listen. And so, the next day he took me to the building where I visited the psychiatrist, saying it was just for a visit, then began telling some lady working there that was in charge I think, all about how I had threatened him with a weapon, which was such a lie, and said that they should hold me somewhere to 'evaluate' me for awhile, and he was very persistant until she said that she would do it, where at first she was saying it was not necessary. Then an officer came in and handcuffed me, and I was told to sit in a small room until I was to be picked up. I sat there from morning to night, a little water I think but no food, and then I was escorted in a police car off to Dorthea Dix mental hospital in Raleigh, about two hours away from where I lived. I stayed there for a week and begged to leave, however, they wouldn't allow me to until it was OK'd by my father. All during this time, I was put on a diet because I am slightly overweight as I mentioned, and about once a day I was visited by the doctor who worked there. I think that sort of broke me from arguing with dad, because ever since, I have simply obeyed him. I hope that was enough information, now I have a few questions for you all.
How do I find out about my rights and legal status?
How do I get a second opinion and fight my diagnosis?
How do I move out, or get therapy from my condition if I have one?
HOW DO I GET AWAY FROM MY DAD AND BECOME THE ADULT I'M SUPPOSE TO BE?
This is so obviously fake. :rofl:
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PS: fornits is an unmoderated forum. Please ignore the assholes.
if this is a problem for Olivia, you could move this thread into a moderated forum..
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run.. run.. run.. far away.
Do not hide with family either, unless you are absolutely positively sure they'll lie their ass off to your dad.
Because like a program, your father will do his best to convince your family that he is only thinking of your best interests. Also.. get far away.. get a job and learn to take care of yourself first before you consider getting involved with anyone else. Otherwise you'll be setting yourself up to be victimized all over again.
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Hey Oliva, thanks for registering and thank you for sharing your plight here, please excuse the assfaced shit for brains who are putting you down, be aware that they are not representative of most of us on this site, they are just determined to give us a bad name and scare every new person away.
I would also like to contact you via PM if that's okay with you, maybe get some more info and help do some research for the resources in your local area. But please don't post that personal info on this forum okay?...
I can really feel your pain, my dad was also VERY controlling, unfortunately for him tho my independent will was too strong for him and I easily slipped his grasp. That is pretty much what you need to do now, I know you are scared but you need to stand up for yourself. This may take time, for instance you need to learn how to take care of yourself first. I can help teach you these things if you would like some guidance, I have been living on my own since I was 17 and I too have some mental disorders I struggle with. So my advice is to start doing what you should have been doing when you were a teen and slowly but steadily pull away from your dependence on your father. If you would like you and I can speak personally and rule out a plan made of specific steps and goals to get you to a point that when you choose to confront your father with a different diagnosis and or take legal matters into your own hands you will be fully able to support yourself without him.
The first thing I would recommend is to learn to drive. If your father wont teach you then you need to try to reach out to your other family members, friends or even someone within the community like a youth pastor or even a professional driving instructor.
Second thing you need to do is ease yourself into being comfortable in social situations so that you will have the confidence to go out and get a job. Try joining a community center or volunteering at a shelter or foster homes or women's shelter. Somewhere the environment is supportive and you are welcomed and appreciated, this should help you ease into the whole concept of "working" without getting too overwelmed. Try even doing things that you like doing like painting or playing (or listening to) music or reading books or maybe even debating world issues in groups... put a sign up at your campus about forming some kind of group or club that meets to disscuss a certain subject or even sets out to review all the best resturants in the city or reviews all the local bands and updates an online blog or website. If you really think about it you can find something meaningful to do with other people that will get you used to what it feels like to work. Then, you must go get a job.
These days tho, jobs are hard to find, and the longer you go without any job history the harder it will be for you to attain one. Your best bet is to take a part time job at lets say a grocery store or something, but keep your focus on going to school. You say you are 21 and in college, do you have a major? How close are you to a degree? You really should be taking psychology classes if not for a future career in it just for your personal knowledge about what is and is not schizophrenia. Are you attending a university? Is it possible for you to go live in the dorms? You can afford to live in student housing with $600 a month and would most likely qualify for more financial assistance living on campus.
Next you will need to insist on cooking and cleaning for yourself, going grocery shopping, going to Dr. appointments and running errands alone (hence the learn to drive first) and handling your own finances, bills and responsibilities. I can show you the budget system that I use to track how much money I spend per month, this can help you to stay organized and remind you what bills to pay, their due dates and the payment method. Since you probably don't have any credit you might want to take out a credit card and start using it in a way that simply builds up your credit score. For instance use it for one maybe two things a month like the gas and electric bill and make sure you always pay your than your minimum payment every month. Having positive credit is important when you are out on your own. You need it to get an apartment, buy a car, get an emergency loan, get a cell phone plan, even sometimes to put your utilities in your own name. When you do move out you need to prepare yourself in every way to not need financial assistance from your father and that includes co signing on your car and or apartment. The best thing to do would be to not tell him where you live.
We can go into more details like this on a personal level but I just wanted to let you know that I am here to help you through all this. However I strongly advise you don't just run away, or tell your dad off right away because without building these skills you will have a hard time surviving alone. It's sad that your dad did bother to teach you these things, but It's apparent that he intended to keep you dependent on him and that's why he didn't. I am very sorry to hear this story, my heart goes out to you and I hope that things will get better from here on out.
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Thank you for posting, FemAnon, of course you can contact me by PM. Maybe its just my area, but looking for a job is extremely difficult, I tried getting jobs at many places from highschool up to a few years back, no good. I've never had a job in my life. I'm currently majoring in Web Design, my old major was IT, but gave up on it after only managing to earn seven credits in a total of 2 1/2 years. Also I could not stay at the dorms as this is a community college I go to and they do not exist on campus. Actually I am having trouble with a couple of my classes currently, especially the math as I never was good at math. I hope my new major does not turn out like my old one. I hope to hear more from you soon.
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can u get an emergency load if you don't have a car and can't drive and dont have a job?
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can u get an emergency load if you don't have a car and can't drive and dont have a job?
uh, loan
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Thank you for posting, FemAnon, of course you can contact me by PM. Maybe its just my area, but looking for a job is extremely difficult, I tried getting jobs at many places from highschool up to a few years back, no good. I've never had a job in my life. I'm currently majoring in Web Design, my old major was IT, but gave up on it after only managing to earn seven credits in a total of 2 1/2 years. Also I could not stay at the dorms as this is a community college I go to and they do not exist on campus. Actually I am having trouble with a couple of my classes currently, especially the math as I never was good at math. I hope my new major does not turn out like my old one. I hope to hear more from you soon.
Well, considering ou major I might be able to help you find a job. Do you have a portfolio?
I am a graphic designer myself and I work mostly freelance or for a company that usually takes freelance jobs... often our clients need websites and we usually refer them to someone that can help them. I am currently learning web design myself and I am getting ready to put a new site online that will offer web design services. If you can show me some good work I might have some clients that I can throw your way. As you may know by now, web design is really the best art career to get into these days so if you do well in school you will have a decent career ahead of you.
My advice is to take things slow, consider yourself a late bloomer, but make specific strides to achieve your independence.
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I dont even know where to start. I was in dorothea dix in 77 for a 28 day state ordered "evaluation" I was sent there from a N.C. state juvie corrections facility.
WHAT A HELLHOLE!
Your dad is fucking DANGEROUS,at the very least TOXIC. His knowledge of the Bible is lame. Check out Exodus 21:6, against piercing my arse.
See if you can get into some sort of halfway house,or transitional housing, you have got to get past not wanting to hurt your dads feelings. His control freak nature is holding you back ,plain and simple. Do you have a caseworker,or some thing? where is this person at with all this?
Che brought up a good point also with the relationship thing.
Take the bull by the horns,please,It may not be easy,but your gonna have to Its part of being an adult.
Best of luck
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Well today my psychiatrist came over then I took that opportunity to ask for an independent evaluation. That'll be the first step...
My dad was really exasperated, I guess. He said he's going to 'stop worrying about me', and I can 'do everything on my own from now on'. So maybe its a good thing.
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Update: Called social services, they referred me to mental health. Mental health said dad can't be doing the things he's doing, ESPECIALLY if he's not my guardian. He shouldn't be my guardian but whether or not he legally is, I have no idea. Well earlier today when the psych and one of his 'team' was out here, the team member laughed at dad's comment about him wanting to hit me and then she said that yes, he can do that because he's my father. The mental health person I called said this behavior was 'questionable'. Not sure about being able to get an advocate or lawyer just yet, but I'll try.
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Update: Called social services, they referred me to mental health. Mental health said dad can't be doing the things he's doing, ESPECIALLY if he's not my guardian. He shouldn't be my guardian but whether or not he legally is, I have no idea. Well earlier today when the psych and one of his 'team' was out here, the team member laughed at dad's comment about him wanting to hit me and then she said that yes, he can do that because he's my father. The mental health person I called said this behavior was 'questionable'. Not sure about being able to get an advocate or lawyer just yet, but I'll try.
Definitely take Eliscu2's advice and contact Mindfreedom. They might be able to help.
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Update: Called social services, they referred me to mental health. Mental health said dad can't be doing the things he's doing, ESPECIALLY if he's not my guardian. He shouldn't be my guardian but whether or not he legally is, I have no idea. Well earlier today when the psych and one of his 'team' was out here, the team member laughed at dad's comment about him wanting to hit me and then she said that yes, he can do that because he's my father. The mental health person I called said this behavior was 'questionable'. Not sure about being able to get an advocate or lawyer just yet, but I'll try.
Definitely take Eliscu2's advice and contact Mindfreedom. They might be able to help.
You know I tried to contact MindFreedom already..... actually it seems impossible. First I emailed the email on the website, it kicked back my email. Next I called them, but got the voicemail/answering machine recorded message after it ringing several times.