Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: AuntieEm2 on August 11, 2008, 11:58:36 AM
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This topic (below) was introduced on another thread by DGSe, and I know this is something I still do not fully understand.
Put another way (from DSD, modified): What is the psychology of the parents that make programs possible?
Comments?
Auntie Em
Quote from DGSe/ohhellheah:
DIFFERENT TYPES OF PROGRAM PARENTS:
TRICKED-- parents whose kids go to a program voluntarily. Entire family involved thinks they are going to some treatment center/school. When their kids say they are being mistreated they respond responsibly. They notice and respond to obvious warning signs
ex: "erica's mom"
INADEQUATE-- parent is mentally ill, or incompetent.
ex: lulu Corter's mom
ABANDONER-- parent wants to rid themselves of burden. They are often Adoptive or steparents
ABUSE/CONTROLLER-- Parents want kid to be punished//suffer be humbled. They want control of their kid in a ver unhealthy way
ex: paul richard's parents
CULT member-- these parents start off as any of the hitherto mentioned type, and get sucked in/brainwashed. They live their lives for the cult. They donate huge amounts of money and time to the cult. They are not simply "brainwashed" in the sense they are mis led or tricked. They live on campus, spend a lot of time in meetings.
ex Ginger's parents
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auntie em check your pm box.
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In my opinion, the predominant type of program parent is
scared
scared for their kid, scared of their kid, lots of different types of scared.
the industry capitalizes on this, and will a lot of times, manufacture it. If you are a slightly concerned parent, after you talk to an edcon or admissions, uninformed, chances are you will be truly scared afterwards, and if you already are scared, you will be terrified.
There is nothing more vulnerable than a scared parent. There is no bigger cash cow. The fact that this industry, plus bullshit like Dr. Phil and Oprah, prey upon this most primal and basic of fears, and on parents' ignorance, is downright disgusting.
The other kind, and the kind in the minority, thank god, is the parent that doesn't care and just wants their kid out of their life. Before programs, these people sent their kids to private boarding schools, or military school, or just plain disowned them. Anything to keep them away until they are 18. They are almost always extremely wealthy, more than just upper middle class, because tuition for the upper middle class parents is still quite a burden, and that kind of money wouldn't be spent if there wasn't at least some degree of concern. (A parent doesn't take out a second mortgage on their house just because they don't give a shit) But the filthy rich, well, they can just throw money at the "problem" to make it go away.
I had a kid in my peer group who's father was like this. (I think his mother was dead.) He really didn't give a crap about his son, was disgustingly wealthy (he used to own a goddamn lion) and the kid fucking idolized him. When his dad first came up for a parent visit, he showed up hours late, because he was too busy fucking some waitress at the hotel.
That's not to say that all parents who are dripping with money are like this, but chances are, if they *are* like this, they have plenty of money to spare.
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I'd imagine non chalantly bragging about one's pet lion would get any Kootenay waitress in bed....
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I'd imagine non chalantly bragging about one's pet lion would get any Kootenay waitress in bed....
Please, no puns about feeding a girl a lion.
oh wait.. oops. I did it already.
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If I had a pet Giraffe I'd be complete.
I'd minaturize him, clone him and name him twiggy.
I'd breed him until I achieved albinism.
Then I'd start my own vegas show called sigfried & Mel. The show would consist of sigfried and the albino giraffe facilitating a condensed 3 hours Dreams propheet at the Bellagio.
Seriously, this thread reminds me. Compilng the stories we heard about our peer's parents at CEDU would make for one hell of a reader.
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it seems to me a bad idea to try and categorize the people who go down this road with their kids. There are a variety of wider social factors that support such an industry. The rise of zero tolerance in schools, legally enforced youth cerfews, the drug war and the criminalization of sexuality make it hard for even good kids to stay on the right side of the criminal and educational system, so for a parent with a kid who is in any way rebellious or not willing to fit into a perfect square it must be terrifying. Couple this with a lack of practical, inexpensive and humane, helpful services in many areas for those whose children genuinely have some kind of disability, metal health probelm or substance abuse issues and it seems for some like the closest thing to a legitimate choice they have.
One of the many problems with programs is the way they categorize kids as either junkies, whores, psychos or bullshitters. This is why it seems equally unhelpful to categorize ALL parents as brainwashed cult freaks, assholes or saints who knew no better. Undoubtedly these parents do exist and use this system in some cases but people and families are complex and flawed. So is society. Nobody fits into a perfect description. Perhaps the more helpful question would be what different angles do programs use to market themselves? And what is so atractive to people about each angle? Here are some i can think of;
tough love (for the assholes. Why else would anyone choose Thayer?)
Godly for those who think Jesus is the answer
new age and hippy
an alternative to jail, (wwasp put out fliers at juvie courts sometimes)
hospital like and clinical
Farm like and remote
Just like a normal boarding school only crazy (hidden lake, Carlbrook nything with the word "academy" in the title)
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I think the point is how clever Mel was in 'pitching' and therefore growing the program (and industry) back in the 80's.
Think about it. You're a parent and you don't know how to handle your surly teen. An edcon shows you the CEDU brochure which is the answer to all your problems. But the tuition is on par with Harvard tuition. The only thing that would posses you to spend that kind of money is a desperation and vulnerability. The parent had to overlook that the place had no track record. No credentials. No professional staff.
In evaluating the program, the parent temporarily suspended all sensibility and reason to quell their emotional pangs regarding their child's development.
This begets the next question. Can the program maintain this 'promise'.
Well, the proof is in the numbers. Look how few kids got pulled because their parent's eventually realized the place was a crock of shit.
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In Denmark no kid under 15 can appear in a court. It is up to the social services to intervene.
I a kid under 15 commits a crime (Our youngest murder was 11. Last year a 14 year old killed a man) they often choose between:
* Family therapy in the home
* Family therapy in a reduced setting (The whole family have to live in a 24/7 supervised facility.)
* Kid in the fostercare system placed at foster care parents
* Kid in the fostercare system in a reduced setting
* Kid sent to continuation school (They are not lockdowns and no level system are allowed. Not even chores are allowed as punishment.
* Kid enrolled a sport club or other kid of activity to keep the time going.
But as we all know reduced setting aka residential treatment is costly because we stronly believe that each individual are special. We have no programs where the kids has to that and that to be sent home.
To a certain point our system works, but sometime we can not find the ideal solution in time.
Last november a 15 year old kid drunk and on drugs attacked a middle aged man for no reason. He was so full of anger that the police thought that he had used some kind of weapon in the killing. He had jumped on the head of his victim until it smashed. When he was finished he dragged the body into the street light in order to record it on his phone and sent it to whoever who cared.
He got 4 years in a juvenile facility and due to his time in costody he could be out on the street next year. (link) (http://http://www.cphpost.dk/get/108666.html)
Here is the case: This kids was ill. His mother was an addict. Everybody right from nursery to school and social workers all reported that this kid was ill. At age 4 and 5 he started to attack other kids. But because he was under 15 even similar attacks without deadly result meant that he was committed to a hospital. None care because all stated that they would give him a lesson when he was old enough to appear before a judge. A man died due to that strategy.
So now our parliament are seeking to remove the juvenile discount regardless of the fact that your country are starting to acknowledge the fact that kids are not adults. Their brains are not fully developed.
We are following in our footstep and will lock kids up for many years without dealing with the root of their problems before the first crime is committed.
While I dont believe in zero tolerance and also respect for an individual to live like he or she chooses, I demand some responsability. I do believe that "Teen courts" or "Peer courts" are the answer. Convict youth to:
1) State an apology to parents / victims.
2) Conduct community service based of the severity of the crime
3) Serve a jury member so they can learn what it is all about.
Regarding addiction I believe in asking them during trial whether they think that it could be a problem if they drink or use drugs. If they do allow them to use time of the punishment on treatment. If they dont, they just have to reach the bottom and appear before the court again and receive a further punishment if the addiction result in more crimes. At some point most people get it.
I also believe in starting using the court system at an earlier age. In my country more than 90 % of all children attend kindergarten, public or private school combined with after care until the age of about 12. Up til that age adults are near them at all time. After form 3 they have to find out to join clubs on their own and move around in our society. Thats when "Peer courts" should come into the picture.
We have a huge task ahead of us in Denmark, so we dont commit failures others have made. Thats why Fornits Wiki is so important so we record failures. Life is all about learning by failure.
Thats my 2 cent.
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my 2 cents wrote:
Perhaps the more helpful question would be what different angles do programs use to market themselves? And what is so atractive to people about each angle?
I would agree this is a more fitting question, thank you. I am curious about strategies to undermine the way the programs market to parents.
Auntie Em
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my 2 cents wrote:
Perhaps the more helpful question would be what different angles do programs use to market themselves? And what is so atractive to people about each angle?
I would agree this is a more fitting question, thank you. I am curious about strategies to undermine the way the programs market to parents.
Auntie Em
That was kinda my thing, too. These places prey upon fear, or manufacture it.
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Agreed. The Fearful Parent Industry. Main pressure point, as I understand it, is summed up with deadinsaneondrugsorinjail--oui?
Another factor I have looked at some is what do they fear about the programs prior to placement. If NATSAP and other sites are an indicator, parents fear physical separation from the child and breakdown of family relationships, among others.
Good to see you here, Castle.
Auntie Em
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Here is my question:
Do the different types of programmie parents react the same when you shoot them with a high caliber pistol?
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Here is my question:
Do the different types of programmie parents react the same when you shoot them with a high caliber pistol?
My guess would be yes.
Unless they are robot ninja pirates.
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Them being robot ninja pirates might actually improve their anemic parenting skills. But hey.. whadda I know eh? nutin.
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Them being robot ninja pirates might actually improve their anemic parenting skills. But hey.. whadda I know eh? nutin.
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Mine as well start stereotyping the kids too then,
The Junkie: He will tell he was shooting heroin since middle school. Smoked his first cigarette in second grade. Hardcore. He is the star of every NA meeting because his story is so intense. He doesn't plan on getting sober when he gets out, and makes no bones about it. He talks about tracers and secretly walks the grounds in search of edible mushrooms.
The Jock: This kid has never done any real drugs. Smoked a joint with friends after a game once, but that's about it. He works out and likes to let people know . Talking about his recent kick boxing victories he can't quite figure out why he got sent to a program.
The Bully: It's obvious why this asshole got sent away, to everyone but him. Starting fights with younger kids, this douche bag is quick to become the staff's favorite. He will be promoted to the upper echelon of the program faster than anybody, programs need compliant muscle to do their bidding. You better not "get up in his shit" otherwise he might have to lay you on the floor.
The Psycho: Transfered from a long term mental hospital after his family's insurance finally ran out, this kid needed real help. Talking to people that aren't there and chucking back handfuls of meds at lunch this kid is a mystery. Nobody really knows what is going on in their head, but then one night you awake to this roommate who used a sharpened tooth brush to stab themselves just to see the blood poor. Eventually they pull something gruesome enough to get transfered to a lock down, and you never hear from them or see them again.
The Young'n: This is the youngest kid there. Physically he is half the size of the other kids, and nobody can understand why he is really there. For Christmas he gets the most expensive presents, but his parents never visit on the holidays. He's uppity and gives the staff a lot of problems, he's young and has a lot of energy and knows something isn't right about where he is in life, but still too immature to articulate it. When he is being too loud or obnoxious, staff read a letter aloud for everyone to hear (which they keep on hand for just such occasions) from his step-parent, explaining he is staying in custody until 18. This sends him crying under his covers until he passes out from emotional exhaustion. No more trouble from young'n, for tonight at least.
The Cool Kid: This dude is is cool. They always have a good comeback to any staff insult, and know how to play the system to their advantage without hurting their peers or betraying others. They weren't a junkie,but they like a few rails at parties and smoke pot with the best of them. They bust out break dancing moves in the least expected times and have a uncharacteristically bright attitude considering the situation they are in. The keep the Rasta bible as the one allowable book under their bed, preaching beyond-their-years wisdom to whoever will listen. Even the staff think they are cool and give them their space.
The Nerd: Kids and staff alike know this kid shouldn't be here. This is the kid who actually takes the program seriously, and is surprised when they figure out that the system is rigged, and it ain't much like Mountain Grove High School in a Colorado Springs suburb anymore. Logical progression has always served them well, but fails them terribly in this situation. They become confused, not knowing what to do, or what the staff want from them. Eventually they crack under this emotional pressure, becoming an emotional punching bag for staff and students alike.
The Programmed: This kid is a shell of their former person. They cracked under the pressure and the program seeped in through the cracks, now flowing through them with intensity. They fully believe in the program ideology, and viciously enforce it at all costs. They are secretly terrified that they will be called out as a fraud, and overact the part. They have no qualms in betraying and abusing their peers, and eventually come to enjoy it.
The Lost Soul: Kid cracked under the pressure, but the system reboot didn't work so they were not reprogrammed in any recognizable way. The intellectual and emotional destruction process was successful though. Leaving this person in a state of fear and confusion, and emotional turmoil that resembles mental illness. Look into their eyes, but nothing is there. Ask them their name, they do not respond. They have withdrawn into themselves completely. Refusing to comply with the simplest demands, they are shoved aside and placed in long term isolation until their parents run out of money or they turn eighteen.
The Normal: Like many others , you have no clue as to why this kid is here. His parents probably caught him smoking a cigarette or ditching school. They remind you of your first cousin Mark who is two years younger, innocent and lacking in any negative qualities. They are confused and looking for sympathy at first, but harden off over time when self preservation instincts finally kick in. Every time he gets a letter he spends his night in bed crying. He shares a letter with you, his parents telling him they took out a second mortgage to keep him there until he finishes. Nighty, night.
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I would love to know who wrote the above post. Brilliant writing and hammer on head accurate.
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Mine as well start stereotyping the kids too then,
The Programmed: This kid is a shell of their former person. They cracked under the pressure and the program seeped in through the cracks, now flowing through them with intensity. They fully believe in the program ideology, and viciously enforce it at all costs. They are secretly terrified that they will be called out as a fraud, and overact the part. They have no qualms in betraying and abusing their peers, and eventually come to enjoy it.
The entire post is an excellent one. This above section struck home the hardest as it reminds me of a young man I recently encountered via my facebook page. He will not budge on his position that what happened during his stay at Three Springs is wrong.
And as far as Three Springs goes this kid saw it all. General Ignore for over a month, he was tossed out of his group and made to live in a tent for two weeks until he began to behave, he was on a slew of cohercive interventions designed to gain his compliance, and finally as far as I can tell he cracked and bought the whole taco regardless of the fact that the meat was smeared with feces.