Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: KIDSofEP on June 30, 2003, 05:09:00 PM
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Was anyone in KIDS of NJ when it closed??
Does anyone know if some of the phasers were subsequentially placed in other facilities such as AARC?
Specifically, I am curious to know if the "Bish*ff,Jean" named individual on the KNJ
names list was later relocated to AARC. I believe her father may have been a clinical staff trainee in Jersey and the family was formerly involved with KIDS of EP from '86 or early '87.
Thanks in advance for any information at all on this matter.
Todd
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I don't know that. But I knew Jean Bishoff. She came in while I was there in Kids of Bergen County, before it became Kids of North Jersey. That poor girl was targeted from the moment she entered. They humiliated her (as they did many of us) unjustly. She seemed like a nice person, and for the the life of me I couldn't see anything wrong with her. She didn't mean a lick of harm to anyone - I hope in the months, years after I left they hadn't changed that side of her. I remember them giving her a hard time because she wore pantyhose without underwear (big deal, I've done it)- they confronted her in full group about that - in front of boys and girls sides - how ridculous. It seems so petty, but the way they would take trival matters like this and blow them so far out of porportion - it almost seems like they were making problems to give that girl. I hope she's ok today. The newtons could have easily destroyed her mind.
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Thanks much anon for your response. I agree that Gene (Jean) was a hardcore victim of the program, not only in NJ but in El Paso as well. Everyone always had it rough and the program was no country club, but I think it is agreed that some people had a much more horrible experience than others. Jean was one of those people. She was nonviolent and was only laughed at when she would be rebellious. She was passive and was frequently stood up and confronted for sleeping in raps in El Paso.
AARC may have a different Evelyn Bish*ff on staff after reading the AARC bbs post, however there is a post on thekidsbbs.com that possibly Jean's father was a clinical staff trainee in Jersey. Do you have any recollection of that??
I also wish Jean the very best and hope that she is well. If I do run across her at any point I will refer her to this bbs so she can say hello.
Thanks again for your response.
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I seem to recall that she was related to the above mentioned Bishoff, but I can't be sure of anything sometimes. The memories are foggy. May I ask you this: You were in Kids of EP I think you said. Did you ever see dr. newton or his wife while there? It seemed they were always with US. Did they have the same all-powerful presense in EP? Also, when were you there?
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Oh yes, I was definitely in KIDS of EP from 86-90 (actually 12/89) and I have a website about it at kidsofelpaso.com :smile: . Newton was there frequently, possibly monthly. He would come in and lead clinical rap and man the rapstools for open meeting. We did feel the meglomaniacal presence of him and Ruth often. Especially when EP was going through media exposure/litigation. He was in EP a lot and when he wasn't, he was often on speaker phone for staff meetings etc. It sucked~hard and often.
edited to reflect 12/89 NOT 12/86.
[ This Message was edited by: KIDSofEP on 2003-07-02 10:59 ]
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oh, that's your website! I've been there also. I probably spend too much time at sites like that and this, doing my own form of personal research on the whole experience. I was in Hackensack 88' to 90' - other end of the country but the same big white room, I'm sure.
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On 2003-07-01 18:16:00, Anonymous wrote:
"oh, that's your website! I've been there also. I probably spend too much time at sites like that and this, doing my own form of personal research on the whole experience. I was in Hackensack 88' to 90' - other end of the country but the same big white room, I'm sure.
"
Having been in both big white rooms, I can tell you that the chairs in NJ were far more comfortable. You had to get the older, heavier ones with the softer plastic & the wider seat.
And NJ did get the leftover chairs from El Paso. At least some of them, anyway...
Yes, Jean's father was a clinical trainee in New Jersey. I remember that pretty distinctly.
[ This Message was edited by: John Olsakovsky on 2003-07-01 21:02 ]
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Yup~that's me @ kidsofelpaso.com. We were on blue chairs at the same time, just in different places. Strange concept to even fathom, even stranger still to know that the abuse continues today. Posts like "I attended an open meeting this month" on the STRAIGHT BBS gives me chills.
The chairs in EP did suck. I think we changed chairs once and went to (or from?) the chairs with clear plastic connector on them so that they were all connected when the group sat bleacher style in rows versus Therapeutic Community style in a divided half circle. We used to bust the hell out of those clear connectors when motivating.
Regarding the chairs trip to NJ, "some of them" is key, JohnO...I managed to "lift" two chairs as a pnip (person not in program) from the back of a loaded semi trailer behind KIDS of EP on Boeing street. It's ironic because there was also a picture published in the paper (currently in thekidsbbs.com private photo album) of Richard Vald*z loading them onto the trailer...hehehe. Ron H*ll took one of the chairs and has since committed suicide. I took the other and still have it. Unfortunately it is just the frame sans the blue plastic seat part, but it is a world of memories from "the bad 'ol days" nonetheless.
Regarding Jean's father...thanks for the information. It is interesting to know and even more interesting to ponder that the family may still be associated with AARC. I almost feel like I wish I could hear from Jean just to be certain she is not a drug war POW somewhere from our era now in her late 20's/early 30's still falling asleep in some group somewhere or mumbling something about being powerless...
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On 2003-07-01 06:25:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I don't know that. But I knew Jean Bishoff. She came in while I was there in Kids of Bergen County, before it became Kids of North Jersey. That poor girl was targeted from the moment she entered. They humiliated her (as they did many of us) unjustly. She seemed like a nice person, and for the the life of me I couldn't see anything wrong with her. She didn't mean a lick of harm to anyone - I hope in the months, years after I left they hadn't changed that side of her. I remember them giving her a hard time because she wore pantyhose without underwear (big deal, I've done it)- they confronted her in full group about that - in front of boys and girls sides - how ridculous. It seems so petty, but the way they would take trival matters like this and blow them so far out of porportion - it almost seems like they were making problems to give that girl. I hope she's ok today. The newtons could have easily destroyed her mind."
Quoted from another bbs.
Through all the years that I have had the site up, the bbs, etc. I always contended that the program was some horrible experience that I was subjected to for several years in the late '80s. For some reason I actually felt a strange sense of personal guilt (yup, I'm sharing my feelings) after reading the following post on the nj bbs. I realized (yup~the cultspeak continues) that the program that I was involved with destroyed lives. Of course I have always known this, however my role somehow seemed to flip from victim to perpetrator. I was actually a big part of this mindwarping machine that resulted in several suicides from my group, and countless fucked up souls...
Many of us did NOT experience what others did as some people were in fact "targeted" and were confronted, held accountable, and restrained relentlessly, not to mention humiliating factors such as publicizing bowel incontinence issues, emphasis on sexual history such as incest and even molestation by adults. How many times was "so and so" on the guys side confronted about having sex with an old man.... That is theoretically holding an adolescent accountable (yuppers~ more program talk) for sexual contact with an adult...the legal system views that situation differently. Adults go to prison and children go to therapy to learn that "it wasn't their fault" yet in guy's rap the issue was turned to reflect it all as an "unmanagable" secondary to being "powerless over drugs".
I don't even know if what I am saying makes any sense, but being a part of the whole experience just felt differently to me after reading the above post.
I hope Gene (Jean) is alright.
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I was the little girl (yes, 15 is little, it just is.) who had an accident in my sleep at a host home. I remember waking up in the morning and being terrified when I realized what had happened.
I never in my wildest dreams would have done something like that on purpose. My oldcomer, who I just could not get to believe a word I said, did not believe it was an accident. If front of the entire group, she made it public issue. I was screamed at for a while, cried, pleaded all I could that I wasn't some sick person, that it truly was an accident. I don't know how it happended! I was too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom after we were locked (yes we WERE locked in the host home bedroom), and I of course thought it could wait till morning. It just happened in my sleep, but the nightmare of what they did to me in group the next day, and the abuse I suffered mentally at that host home will last forever. I remember group/staff saying "it's biologically impossible for that to happen while you're sleeping, we have proof! We looked it up! The liars. I have risen above. I know the humiliation they put me through was unfounded. The above post mentioned becoming the abusor from having been abused. Please don't feel any guilt. Whatever you did while there was not your fault, I promise that. I don't blame the other phasors who jumped on the humiliation band wagon in my case - they, like me, were products of their environment. We are not those people anymore, we are not victom or abuser. We are survivors. And Life is pretty wonderful. BTW, from what I understand, the oldcomer I had is still with Newton or a follower of his. Karma, baby.
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One more thing...
that was a very difficult post for me to make. I think that was one of the worst moments of the whole experience for me. I almost didn't post it because of the pain of the memory, but I thought it was time. I had to face what happened. So please, if anyone has anything cruel to say about it, please don't. Just keep your cruelty to yourself. I think we've all had enough of that.
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Nothing cruel to say to you, nothing at all.
I think sometimes what you had to say about surviving the madness is forgotten about and bbs rapport flips to the unfortunate same sort of trolling found on any internet based forum. I appreciate the sentiment of your post. There were several in my group as well that were humiliated because of bowel incontinence, some that were ridiculed and confonted as they must have had "good feelings" from it or something according to staff. This was devastating and I am sure is not without long term ramifications.
Personally, my most humiliating memory was in exercise rap. I had terrible acne at the time and I began to bleed from a pimple or something on my face. I didn't know I was bleeding at the time but I did know that staff and several phasers were looking at me dead in the face and laughing. No one laughed at me before the program, I fought a lot and didn't take bullshit from anyone. Now, I was being stared at by staff and my peers and being laughed at for some unknown reason. Staff later asked a fifth phaser to take me to the restroom and let me look at my face. It sounds not half as bad as it felt at the time. Certainly there were many more humiliating moments in the program, being badgered to own up to sexual stuff that I didn't even IMAGINE before the program, etc. but the pimple incident hurt me inside. It was topped later that same night when I tried to write my MI on the incident and my fourth phase oldcomer (that was in school at the time) laughed and told me to write my MI on a "REAL" problem I had that day.
The guilt that I mentioned in the previous post was relative to the notion of how could I even be involved in such torment and cruelty to other people when it is so far removed from who I am today. I just kind of ripped through my phases after over a year on 1st phase and was basically no one, but there were those that caught all kinds of hell who were harmless, meek, and just trying to go with the flow, not even only "rebellious" people. Jean was of those people as were others that are no longer with us.
Thanks again for your post and kind words.
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I think we've just had an Oprah moment.
LOL.
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I also remember wetting the bed because I would get yelled out if the whole host home had to be woken for me to be unlocked and brought to the bathroom... I also hated girls rap when girls would confess something the staff would make them go into very, very graphic about it..it was such child exploitation and thank God there was never a fire in the host homes..imagine being locked in a room with an alarm on the door..we were luckily cause we could have died while waiting for the host parent to get us out!!!
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Do you know how many times I've thought about that? The danger was incredible. Miller swears he stopped putting locks on doors in 1983, I believe that's the year he stated in a courtroom somewhere along his legal trail. If we could have proved it in time, he would be in jail today.
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On 2003-07-03 06:42:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Do you know how many times I've thought about that? The danger was incredible. Miller swears he stopped putting locks on doors in 1983, I believe that's the year he stated in a courtroom somewhere along his legal trail. If we could have proved it in time, he would be in jail today.
"
In El Paso, right before it closed, some governing agency made some sweeping reforms.
We actually had cots to sleep on, in addition to the foam pads.
It was an attempt at a kinder, gentler Kids...
Hell, they still got shut down.
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I wonder who had to pay for the cots in the host homes, the parents or the program? My money's on the parents.
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that is such crap.it makes me feel so angry.f**k'n liar he was.he makes me sick to my stomach.i remember in fun rap ppl joking about it.how they would pee the bed and you know what i did it in my sleep so don't fell embarressed or your sick.none of us are sick for anything.i love how they would say we were lying how the hell would they know.thye hypocrites.i agree though we are all survivors and that makes us unique and friends forever.i think of alot of ppl every day
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Thanks Dixie. I think I had a newcomer named dixie for the brief period of time they actually thought I could BE an Oldcomer. I don't know if that was you. If it was, I hope I was nice. :smile:
I never made it past 2nd or 3rd phase, I think.
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hi.i was the only one group named dixie.i had my brother and sister in ther with me.we are from canada.i'd like to know who you are.i miss some ppl from there so my e mail addy is dixld@hotmail.com
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Thank you for sharing your story. I was one of those people that was continuously humiliated and abused routinely for no apparent reason and I seemed to have no ally for almost 4 years.
My most horrible story is not so much embarrassing as it was extremely painful and terrifying. Being an eating disorder and not eating for a week, they brought me into an intake room, had 6 people hold me down, shoved food into my mouth and held my nose and mouth closed so that I was forced to eat it. When I choked, they sat me up and I threw up. When they asked me if I was ready to eat on my own and I told them to screw off, they threw me back down, picked up what I threw up and forced me to eat that. In a million years, I will never forget that horror, and I relive it in my nightmares regularly. That is only one of my many horrific memories. Thank you for reminding me that we're all survivors. I need to remember that to keep me alive. Suzanne
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yo zue sucker get over it! how about some of us that had to put up with your freakish ass! ever think of that! we had to deal with your constant bs like hunger strikes etc.I have no respect for you and your pathetic mental health nonsense and blaming victimatic mentality!good luck finding a soul mate with the patients for that degree of soul sickness! I truly hope you soon realize your not getting any younger and that your wasting more time now in your self constructed prison of pitty then you did at kids.
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Sorry to jump in here, but as the person posting on Sue's behalf (she has limited access to the internet at her current location), I felt compelled to respond to your note.
How sad I feel for you, holding on to all that anger and hate. Of course Sue had problems when she went into the program...everyone who went there was dealing with some issue or another. Fortunately Sue is moving forward...she remembers the pain and hell all of you went through, and has the courage to share words of empathy and encouragement with others.
How sad for you that apparently you never really got out...not emotionally in any case...if you feel the need to use a forum like this to continue the same abusive treatment of others that you experienced while you were in. I wish you good luck on your recovery.
Sincerely, Suzanne's sister
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I agree with Sue's sister. The anger you've displayed told me volumes on how your state of mind is still in the survival mode of being "in group." Your post was not, in my opinion, intended to help Suzanne get on with life, it was to cause hurt and pain to her. It is pathetic how you need to try to hurt other people emotionally in order to feel good or whatever it was you felt after you wrote that. You appear to be a weak individual who needs, at best, to be removed from society until you can learn to be a socially apt individual. TO SUE: You were, and I am sure are, an interesting, intelligent, talented woman who got dealt some very bad hands in your young life. I knew you, and I hope you find all the happiness and benefits of life you so much deserve. There are MANY supportive, caring people on this board who understand where you are coming from - do not let the 1% who are toxic get to you.
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While I can't justify all of my antics and behaviors during my 4 years in the program, I was fighting for my life. Alot of the things I did were survival tactics...for example, those hunger strikes that you are so resentful about, were my attempt to get out. I figured if I stopped eating, I would be sent to a hospital to be fed by IV, and I could tell someone I was being held against my will. I never expected to be held down and forcefed. Dislocating my shoulder was my way to get out and be with my family. I was a scared, lonely kid who needed help and kindness, not abuse. I am surprised at you. Usually the people who tell me to "just get over it" are people who were not there, and don't know the horrors that went on there. Obviously you still have alot of issues to work out, because you still sound really, really, angry. Please don't take that anger out on me. My thanks to all of you who supported me. Suzanne Z
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I'm amazed at the outright hostility towards Sue. We all had problems, many of still do but I'm sure you were no saint whomever you are. Before you start ripping into other people, perhaps rejudge your own actions and see if you're in a position to do as such? I was a brat when I was there and I know it. I did it on purpose because I thought the only way to keep that brainwashing crap out was to fight it. I was twelve years old, scared, abandoned, and not even able to talk to the one person I knew there. I remember people sitting behind me used to kick the chair to get me to turn around enough to give them a reason to throw me from the chair and restrain me. I remember having to sit in sex group for the first time and being scared out of my wits because people were talking about stuff I hadn't even learned about yet. So if I had to be a brat to survive that and much more, so be it.
Sue thought she could save herself by doing what she did and as her cousin and watching her do this stuff, I'm sorry but if I can deal with it so can you. Nothing like watching your own relative try to starve herself to death or pop out her shoulder to get the hell out of that place to help the nightmares along.
If you want to judge me or her for it, I doubt either of us will lose sleep over it. I personally have more important things to deal with in my life than someone else's judgement of my actions in a situation I had no control over and was tricked into going to. I dont blame her for what she did and if you have problems with her and what she did then perhaps you have more issues to work out.
I came to this forum in the hopes that perhaps it would be supportive and informative and seeing responses like that disgust me. I avoided y'all for years and when I think on most of the stuff, I block out most things except when I stayed with Rebecca's family for that long stretch. They were wonderful people that became almost like a second family to me while there. I was in a lot of different host homes, but non as nice as that one. If you or your family is reading this, thanks Rebecca. I know you tried to get in contact with me a few years back along with Kim and a couple of others and I appreciate the effort.
Jodi
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Not that I have any real opinion on this at all, but that "get over it" post cracked me up.
Whatever
ftg
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please forgive me for that response,I really should not have acted that way.Truth is, and its not an excuse its a reason, I`ve just had enough of the whinning, and blamming that permeates this potentially constructive site. Someday if I should be fortunate enough to cross your path I will tell you just how much my life has been DAMAGED(INC.) by the remnant followers of newton. I can assure you it has NOTHING to do with my restraint abuse, scorned to humiliation by the girlside,punches to my face by OOC newks,taking 10 newks with one host bro, totalling two cars waking up with my face sgainst the windshield because i never had an 8hr. sleep rule,having to cut off my own family for years because they didnt support the program,working an 11hr day at my job(WITH AND WITHOUT POWER NODDS IN THE BATHROOM, PARKINGLOT, CLOSET, ETC...)and then work at kids all, and I mean all night. either building the new facility and/or "HELPING" the kids in the group, and probably WURST of all I had to liver(hence the missspelling of worst)it would have been easier for me had some poor soul been ordered to shove it down my "trote"! NOPE, NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING to do with those incidents (not to get to far off but that last word reminded me of ALLNIGHT I.R.[incident report] parties of which, sue, you and many others have never had the priveledge!)at all! All that stuff to me is comical now, it has to be. and believe me woman it doesn`t even come close to the CHALLENGES I face today and everyday for the rest of my life because of kids! So you see I am a prime candidate for night mares, stress disorders,syndroms,A.D.D.,Y.Y.Z.,dysfunctional,datfunctional,add infinitum. But I just don`t have the LUXURY of crutches today, hell I have enough trouble suffering from A.S.S SYNDROM. So you see, that is why I have zero patients for the terminal blaming and that is why I attacked sue.Very very sorry.This site would be so constructive in the reuniting of old friends and alot more people like myself wouldn`t wear these brown bags with the eye holes in them, if people didn`t complain so much!
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I couldn't agree more!!! I enjoy this website alot but have a hard time with all of the whining. We all had a hard time after getting out of that terrible place, (some worse than others I know). And some are stil having a hard time, I respect that, but a little less whinning would be nice.
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who is pnk mama? if you dont mind me axing.
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I am Vicky Cole. Who is "axing"
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JM?
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jm?, is that joe mcgreevy?
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Or Joel M. ?????????
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JM are you out there ?????
Who are you ,we would like to know ! :smile:
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who is we? I do not recognize you with the brown bag on your head. ewajundo@aol.com
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Well it looks just like your brown bag!! Nice to see so many people willing to admit to who they really are!!!
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YEAH!
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"I want to take his eyes out, just for looking at you, yes I do. And I want to take his hands off just for touching you, yes I do. And I want to rip his heart out just for hurting you. And I want to break his mind down, yes I do, yes I do, yes I do. And I want to make him regret life since the day he met you, yes I do. And I want to make him take back all that he took from you, yes I do."
That's from Nickleback, their "Silver Side Up" CD, 2001. It's how I feel, especially after reading posts like this. You guys make me cry - to put it mildly. I'm so sorry I didn't pursue him legally. I'm so sorry I stopped asking attorneys to help after the first "no." You have no idea how much I blame myself for what you guys went through. I could have stopped him then, but I didn't. I could have done so much - but I didn't, and for that, I'm eternally guilty and sorry.
I know my writing a book about him isn't worthy of what he deserves, but I hope it will be the beginning of HIS never-ending trail of tears, just as I hope it makes a positive difference in your lives too.
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First off, a quote from some no talent teen-angst band isn`t my idea of an educated or imperical imput. Secondly, I was wacked on drugs and as flawed as HE and IT was, no other institution I visited did anything that even remotely edified or instructed me as kids. And last, despite the mistreatment I`ve experienced, I choose to not blame my parents who acting out of love and fear for their one and only child, made an extremely difficult choice.So I`ll pass on the dish of self pity you offered me.I find my life is so much better when I take responsibility for my thoughts feelings and actions, but hey,not to worry there are so many sad little victims of oppresion around here that will eat that shit right up!
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Wow. Yes, I can see how you "take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions" when you lash out at me like that for expressing myself. Always nice to hear from angry folks such as yourself! Too bad KIDS didn't "instruct" you on how to be kind to your fellow humans. :eek:
But then, your reaction doesn't surprise me. Most victims of child abuse do what you have done here - rationalizing that you couldn't have changed without being emotionally and psychologically battered in KIDS. And that's okay, because I know without telling yourself that, then you wouldn't be able to cope with what you already admit was "flawed mistreatment."
Incidentally, I wasn't aware that the posts were supposed to be "educated or imperical [sic] input." Could have sworn that when these boards were created it was so that we could express ourselves, educated, uneducated, experienced, inexperienced, or whatever. Furthermore, it seems to me that your hostility is either personal - directed at me for some unknown reason, or horrifically misplaced and you're using me as your punching bag.
If you want to deem my regret at not stopping the monster as "self-pity" so be it. That's your opinion and you're entitled to it, only I could have sworn I was expressing empathy and sympathy.
But since I'm not the one who hurt you, sweetie, shouldn't you "take responsibility for your thoughts feelings and actions" as you claim and direct that anger where it belongs?
By the way, I think you are one of the saddest victim of oppression on these boards in that you think you are healthy, but clearly, if you look at your post, you're still two people in one body warring against one another. Everything you said screams, "Child of abuse," and yet, you lash out at me as though I'm the one who held you captive and ripped apart your identity.
I truly hope you find the peace you clearly do not possess and fix your fractured sense of self. Maybe then you too can cry when you read these tragic stories.
Shalom, my friend.
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you go girl, wow, the more some of you try to defend and fire back at the posters who challenge you in the first place, the more i see the truth in what they say. I have to say after studying pysch. and human behav. for so long I can clearly see who`s full of shit around here. It`s so easy leigh Bright, to write off an agressive contemptous poster as an angry ignoramous when in fact, although the message my be a bit harsh,they`re telling you and a lot of others around here the truth.And judging from your reaction,at some level, subconscously most likely, you know the message applies.I get criticism from all around me, some gentle some rather rough.But I try to take it all in.I`m not that sensitive that I have to defend myself, I am however smart enough to know that I don`t know.
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Ditto, to the last post. some of y`all act like such experts and the advice is anything but helpful.Whoever wrote the first post obviously was angry, does that make them sick? I can`t blame them for blasting you, you seem very enabeling.I`ve never found that to be to helpful in real life, forget about kids.
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folks relax. Try to consider the source.This not so "Bright" person wasn`t even in kids, so whats up with the every bodies mommy syndrom? She probably is huge and has nutt`n better to do then sit around the trailer park and wait for the disability check to come so she can go eat a grand slam breakfast, in the meantime feel worthwhile by supporting all the cry baby`s and their mental illnessess.If Im off tell me I can admit it.
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Oh no, anonymous(es). You aren't wrong.
I am whatever you say I am!
But you forgot about the wart on my nose and the broomstick I ride. Oh! And the pointy hat! Don't forget the hat!
:rofl: :tup:
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On 2003-09-11 07:17:00, Anonymous wrote:
" Ditto, to the last post. some of y`all act like such experts and the advice is anything but helpful.Whoever wrote the first post obviously was angry, does that make them sick? I can`t blame them for blasting you, you seem very enabeling.I`ve never found that to be to helpful in real life, forget about kids. "
It's readily apparent that someone hasn't gotten fully de-programmed, if at all.
You'll either see your bullshit for what it truly is or you'll die brainwashed.
Neither option is pleasant, but one makes for a lot happier lifetime.
"Study history, lest ye be damned to repeat it." I'm not going to be so pompous as to say I know the source of this quote. I don't.
But it's all too poignant.
Our history involves an abusive rehabilitation facility that damaged the lives of hundreds of adolescents, including most of the readers of my words. It involves (present tense, as Newton & Co. still have their emotional grip on his loyal followers and possibly others of whom we know nothing) incomprehensable abuses and cult-like brainwashing techniques, in the name of salvaging the lives of youth from drugs or food or behavior or sex or whatever that wanna-be saviour thought he could 'cure' us of.
I choose to prevent this from being repeated, so I remember Kids. I remember the loneliness. I remember the humiliation. I remember the pain. I remember the bullshit. I remember the staff-imposed guilt. I remember the restraints, the violence, the anger, the sadness, the fear and the lost feeling of floating in a sea of disfunction guided by Capt. Newton.
What about you? Are you going to merely forget that this ever happened so that if it happens to your son/daughter or the son/daughter of someone you know & care about, you can forget about that too? Perhaps turn a blind eye towards what other atrocities are being committed against other teen-agers.
What's sad is every day some screwed up teen is put into a facility for "help" and leaves worse off than when they entered. They all feel that exact same fear you did on day one. They get a piss test, some Kwell shampoo and a shitty haircut. They will have to spend an undetermined amount of time in an unforgiving environment with all dignity and humanity stripped of them, all in the name of bettering their lives.
Just like you & I.
I will remember Kids until the day I die. It will always be a vivid memory that stirs up emotion, mostly unpleasant, yet necessary to prevent it from happening to anyone I know.
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Well said, John!
It is a travesty that some in KIDS think that their program was somehow different than Straight when it was the exact same program with the exact same child abuser running the show.
One has to wonder why a "survivor" would urge someone whose goal is to expose the bad guys to "forget kids."
But like you, John, I won't let the memory die until every last kid is released from their captivity. This isn't just about a program or a particular man that hurt us, it's about a treatment model that needs to be exposed and annihilated.
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what`s the point here exactly? I don`t see anything getting accomplished in this way. It seems very distructive if anything. And I hate to say this but it all seems very immature. -concerned
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Well I have to admit you`re right and I have to admit that I have joined in on some of the nastiness, sorry, that isn`t right. I can`t help getting so pissed off at these fuckers(sorry again!)who always want to start a witch hunt. Some body help me, is this site about that? Is it all about hatred for dr. doodamage and having a place to bitch and moan? If so tell me so I can bug out and not keep hoping I`ll see people who have surmounted these limitations, offer hope and healing through sharing and forgiveness! Maybe this isn`t the site for me, thats a bummer `cause this could really help so many lost souls who can only identify with people like us, and obviously haven`t found a way out!Even with all the shrinks they`ve been seeing!Oh well,I guess ever body has to find their own way. But wouldn`t it be better if WE provided a place to grow from all this shit instead of fueling the fire that only burns me in the end?
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Give it up dude or dudette, these "fuckers" who actually list there names here aren`t about to resign from their "chief seats" of pomp and power! In a very very sick way they get something out of keeping the anger and resentments alive and well. where would they be without this site? If you will notice, most people meet old buds here and move on,they know it will always be ruled by these dopes who have to have an illness and offer no healthy solution.All these years have past and they`re still full of hate, not much progress there.
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I guess so, but one can hope can`t they?
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okay, you guys I think I understand?Its kinda like misery loves company? right?
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some have found the way out, some have not. basically you can be better or bitter.
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Oh, my God, the same thing happened to me. I was so scared about it. They said I did it on purpose. I felt humiliated. It was like my first night. I hated all the stuff they said in there. Drew said I need to shut my mouth cause I look like a fish. To this day I still feel sad about that.
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JODIIIII!!!!!!!! lol...girl, u have got to contact me...i miss u.
email...ill give u my home number