Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on June 29, 2003, 11:58:00 PM
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White Walls-Flourescent Lights-Rocking Out-Butthole Surfers-Budweiser(?)
I have a creative mind artistically and I remember how difficult it was to creatively daydream in Straight about Straight. The indoor environment was so plain that it was hard to embellish upon it and make it interesting. Making pies slam into the phasors face who was talking and watching them fly backwards in slow motion with pie on his or her face then land on the hard floor was about as creative as I could get.
So, rocking out in one's head while motivating was helpful. I used to rock out to the Butthole Surfers "O-Men" on first phase and under my breath would mumble the indicipherable words(?) of the song.
Then, one night, 2 weeks into my program, I was stood up in Review. "So, Scott, ya' feeling like drinking a Budweiser?"
What?
"Michael Coursey!"
Michael Coursey: "Yeah,I was sitting here, motivating in group, and I heard you say 'Budweiser' while we were motivating." (with look of disdain, disgust, and fear on his face typical of kiss butts wanting out after 17 months on first phase).
Me: "I didn't say that?!" ::bangin:: .
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I started out rocking out to mostly Iron Maiden and Pink Floyd, but I remember near the end of my 9 months there it was more Neil Diamond and even that Frank Mills song, Music Box Dancer. My lowest low in rocking out was Chariots of Fire :skull: I used to move at least my right hand fingers to play piano tunes of stuff like that. I was either constantly pushing piano keys or flicking my right fingers playing along with those awesome Steve Harris bass lines. Of course, no one ever knew that when I was motivating I was actually playing the drum intro to Running Free... the Nicko McBrain version fromt the Live After Death album.
[ This Message was edited by: JDavid on 2003-06-29 22:07 ]
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I started out in the Milton Roy building, the largest of the St. Pete Straights. The walls were barren exept for the 3 signs, 7 steps, and one more that said "You are not alone." I went in the program in 1978, and Star Wars and a show called Black Sheep Squadron were hot topics. I spent hours staring up at the flourescent lights contemplating how to build a working light saber. I figured using some kind of electrically conductive gel plasma that could be contained in a tightly controlled magnetic field would do the trick and once activated, a high pulse laser beam would run through the field and act as the actual destructive force. Since the plasma could flow around objects, and conduct the light energy, I could kill every asshole in the group without dissapating the laser itself.
On a more simpler note, there were times that I sat in group my first couple of weeks with my fist on my leg holding my thumb up and using it as a joystick. A staff trainee named Marie even stood me up and asked me what the hell I was doing, so I told her the truth. "I am flying a F4 Corsair all around the building strafing the staffer's cars in the parking lot with 50 caliber machine guns. After everyone got their laugh, she decided to let it ride. What the hell, I was only 15 at the time.
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Who came up with the idea of motivating to get called on and what was it supposed to do for us? I don't remember rocking out while motivating but I do remember thinking how stupid it was. What's wrong with just raising your hand? Right now I'm sitting in my office listening to Metallica's "Bad Seed" ::drummer:: and I've been motivating. It's been 23 years since I've motivated and after having done it a few seconds I'm amazed that I never threw my arm out of joint or suffered any sort of injury. In case you're wondering, I work from home so there's no having to explain to co-workers what I'm doing! :eek:
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Hey maybe that's why I got pains in my elbow joints. I think I'll sue. :lol: I remember "rocking out" to the Dead Kennedys album, "Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables" while motivating. I knew the whole thing by heart. There might have been some Black Flag and Minor Threat mixed in there too...I never felt 'guilty' about doing it either since I didn't consider that music to be "druggie" music, (especially Minor Threat - hell, straight could have ENDORSED their songs, lol.) even though I was into it in my 'past'.
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I can remember rocking out... I was so crushed when the songs began to fade. I did however flip people off with my hand in my pocket frequently. Throughout my entire program, I never felt guilty for doing that. It felt soooo good to do. Especially to Sherri Riley. Others too though. :wink:
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On 2003-06-30 04:29:00, gduncan wrote:
"Who came up with the idea of motivating to get called on and what was it supposed to do for us? "
Motivating originated at the Seed but I believe got crazy at the St Pete branch. Other Seed branches didn't seem to motivate with such, ahem, "enthusiasm", but each Seed branch took on a slightly different personality. For instance, the cleveland seed had boxing matches a la synanon and no other branch did.
In the Seed, we used to talk about how "motivated" we were to be called on, and then it seemed to get out of hand and the wild snapping and waving became a trend that was carried over to the straight. The initial straight staffers were high school grads of the St Pete seed, and they just copied what they remembered and what Helen Peterman remembered.The disrespect for the possession laws fosters a disrespect for laws and the system in general... On top of this is the distinct impression among the youth that some police may use the marihuana laws to arrest people they don't like for other reasons, whether it be their politics, their hair style or their ethnic background.
Marihuana: A Signal of Misunderstanding
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I don't remember rockin out to any one particular group. I just remember playing my blue chair like a drum ::drummer:: and driving the Oldcomers nuts with it. ::argue:: I think I did it out of sheer nervousness and feeling trapped.
When I was on 4th Phase my former Oldcomer and I had cranked up WEBN and played our rakes, or maybe they were brooms, like guitars. That's a memory that will last a lifetime!
On first phase in St. Pete I was allowed to play the piano for both the Cincinnati and St. Pete groups. Both times I played songs I had written to my "druggie girlfriend" a few weeks before coming in. Man if Staff ever found out about that there is no telling what they would do to me. I smiled a Shit Eating Grin knowing I was pulling one over on everyone there.
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Hey Morli,
Sherri Riley and her slack-jawed husband. :wstupid:
They were a scary, wannabe televangelistic fucking types. Reciting Straight's neo-religious bullshit until they were out of breath.
It's so bizarre, but out of the hundreds of people I saw there, those are two of a handful that I can remember by face.
I still remember what they look like after about 14 years (less than half my life)!
He was a short little fuck (face like a hog in a vice), and she was kinda pretty (shoulder length black hair) - taller than him :cry2:
It's people like those who end up with last names like Bush, Rumsfeld, Ridge, Rice, Scalia, Thomas, Cheney, NEED I Go on. . .
It's amazing to remember the degree of power that they had over our lives - it still makes me shiver sometimes.
Peace.
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If I remember correctly, motivating became "outlawed" towards the end of my program. Another "change" made in light of the investigations going on, and the idea that motivating was throwing our arms out. I guess it really didnt matter since we were always told that what we did wasnt REAL motivating anyway. We were made to simply raise our hands straight up, without moving or waving them. This resulted in a whole range of grunting, sighing, and straining.....like the whole group was trying to take a shit loud enough so that staff would call on them.
You could get away with wiggling your fingers, or stretching your arm way out in front of you like you were just dying to wiggle your fingers right up into the staffers nose. It was ridiculous.
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(joking)
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This resulted in a whole range of grunting, sighing, and straining.....like the whole group was trying to take a shit loud enough so that staff would call on them.
For what ever reason I picture a whole group of Arnold Horshacks trying to get called on in class. OH OH OH OH OH! (((LOL)))
:lol:
Don
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EXACTLY!
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None of us who came in after the ones before us knew what REAL motivating was. That used to piss me off because they were lying. If we had motivated any harder our arms would have come out of their sockets and been flung around in the air as seen on Weird Al's Nirvana parody video "Smells Like Nirvana".
During the "bust butt" raps where we were expected to have an all out hoe down motivating our asses off and this was staff's idea of "fun" and "a good time". :???:
Oh boy. I am actually grieving my lost childhood right now which I am certain was lost during these bust butt raps when the cult's true colors shined the brightest.
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At the very end of my program they outlawed motivating and more so after I 7-stepped or graduated. It's funny to me how big of a deal that was to us who had come to appreciate a good motivating after months, yea even years, of repetition.
Like Mo, we were offended at the PUSSIES holding their hands straight up still like little faggot boys and girls. Ha ha. How we despised them all! Lame. I am embarrased to admit our total assness, but we were Straight purists, and we knew that it was HARD :wave: MOTIVATING that got us and kept us SOBER! If it ain't broke, why fix it?
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While going through the program during the "Boom Years," I found motivating in general to be simply insane. C'mon, the fucking building must have been 90 degrees with 75% relative humidity, and them assholes expected me to 1.- Shake my arm 90 miles an hour and 2.- Smile while doing it? Child please, I said 'fuck that shit' my first damn day. In the raps, if I felt like relating, I simply held my hand up like I was in school. I was world famous for having the girls side stand up and plead with me to get straight, and stop being so distruptive. The guys did not know what to make of me, but some of them started taking after me and stopped jerking their arms around and simply held their hands up like I did. We were even got stood up once and accused of clicking. When confronted about it, one 4th phase guy named Mike Brunette told staff point blank that "motivating" was fucking stupid. That goes down as one of my biggest victories. For a while there, we just held up our hands calmly and waited WITH DIGNITY to be called on. This lasted pretty much right up to the time of the big building change to Morgan Yacht, where it all digressed back to the same old shit. Sort of like recurring diarrhea, but by then I was further along in the program. One of my favorite tricks was to come in after school and sit behind the biggest kiss ass spazzoid relater I could find. I would position my body behind theirs and just make faces like I was motivated, sometimes without even raising my damn hand, and I would get called on, because staff just 'assumed' I had my hand up. Another favorite of mine with girl staffers was just to make goofy ass faces at them until they called on me. It was pretty effective.
[ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-07-05 19:43 ]
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You just reminded me how often I motivated just hard enough to not get called on. Here I am/ don't call on me/ but here I am/ but don't call on me.
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yeah "don't call on me" reminds me of times I would barely wave my wrists right by my ears
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Yeah I remeber praying not to get called on too. (((LOL)))
I remember every once in a while a Staffer would come out, sit on rap stool and just sit there. After a while the group would start motivating. (I was always confused as why we would start motivating, it's not like we were asked to, or told to talk about something, we just did it) Any way after the group was motivating at full speed the Staffer would shake his head no and the motivating would stop! Then after a few seconds a little slower this time, the motivating would start again.
I know I did that when I was a trainee. Does anytone else remember this?
Don
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Motivating was very controlling. Staff would always get a kick out of playing games with it. Walking around. I remember that this would have the effect of causing a "motivation wave". The closer the staff member, the more deliberate the motivation. It was a circus that they ran like a symphony where they were the conductors of highly trained motivating idiots.
Motivating was designed to degrade us to the uttermost. We had to motivate to talk about our shame! Stuff we never wanted to talk about in the first place! Oh pretty please may I tell you of all the messed up things I ever did? Me first! Mr. Kotta, ooh, ooh.
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I remember motivating getting banned in Dallas a few times. The rules changed a bit during my time. A lot of people got tendinitus (spell check please) and people were hitting each other in the head a lot ::ftard::
At Dallas we were allowed to listen to Minor Threat, 7-seconds & any other straight edge band. At one point we were allowed to listen to anything, but that didn't last long.
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I have read all these posts and almost died of laughter...b/c in the Atlanta building the intake rooms were off the main "group" room. So I spent the first 10 hours or so in the tiny 10x5 intake room listening to what sounded like gusts of wind rushing through the building. The 2 old comers with me proceeded to explain motivating...after the visual dramatization I was sure I would never do such an idiotic thing...guess what, within a week, I am utterly humiliated to admit I was gyrating and flopping around like the rest of them. I was surprised to hear that you all we able to rock out while motivating. I was always to focused on what bs was I going to stand up and relate if called upon. The only good news about that was I could always conjure up lots of tears. Nevermind those tears were b/c I was in that place not b/c of the shame and guilt I felt. This did end up backfiring some though b/c whenever staff was having a rap not go so well they could count on me to come up with the emotion and tears...lol
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Ah, HAHAHA! 7-Seconds. Mention the band name "Reptile House" to them and you'll see them cringe in disgust. Back in 1985 I had just gotten out and ended up back with my friends who were that band. I played guitar for 'em. We went on a US tour in a van. A low-budget, "sleep on your floor" tour. We stayed in Reno in a house where some of the guys from 7 seconds lived. We were kind of stranded there before we could move on to CA. Anyway, out of boredom we bought a case of beer and headed up to the surrounding hills. I drank 17 of those beers. We came back and I passed out on one of their girlfriends beds. Later on, she and her mom (lol) came in. She was showing her mom her new place. There I was naked and sweating my balls off. She said something to me, to which I replied, "Get the FUCK OUT & LEAVE ME ALONE!" or something like that. I only know this because I was told later. No, I wasn't in good shape. Fortunately, we ended up leaving the next day. Rock and Roll. :grin:
[ This Message was edited by: Froderik13 on 2003-09-15 10:55 ]
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yea.......... that's rock & roll ::birthday::
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Thats so funny, motivating always reminded me of Horshack too! I remember staff coming in and just sitting there and we all just wondering what was going on, so I guess it was some kind of ploy or rouse to get us all worked up about nothing. The first time I went to the Gasparella parade in Ybor city I remember telling my sister that I wasn't going to be jumping around like some idiot to get those beads they were throwing but after about 10 min. of not getting any b/c of all the hands/arms in the way I decided to go with the flow. By the end I had more than my sister and her friend combined, I think I had that extra added advatage of Straight motivating on my side. LOL
Tina...it is worth discussing radical changes, not in the expectation that they will be adopted promptly but for two other reasons. One is to construct an ideal goal, so that incremental changes can be judged by whether they move the institutional structure toward or away from that ideal. The other reason is very different. It is so that if a crisis requiring or facilitating radical change does arise, alternatives will be available that have been carefully developed and fully explored."
Milton Friedman
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Heh. That shit got cut out that same month that I left. I got pulled on 3rd phase.
My parents got real active in Midland recruiting..and alot of the midland folks that went in after me were most likely there due in part to them
But I think the more they got involved the more they started realizing something was very wrong.
I remember it was like a major nono to tell any parents about the shit that was really going on.
I remember that christmas ( I was on 3rd phase)
I said fuck it and took my chances and had a long talk with my parents...( keep in mind I volunteered myself into Straight.) Some lady came to my house after my mom caught me smoking some pot, and made this place seem like some badass place to go. Six Flags is there....she told me all kinds of shit. But anyway I knew when we got keyed in that night I was a free man In the morning. And sure enough I took my newcomers in and dropped them off in the little time out room, and made a beeline for the door..one of the staff members even tried to stop me to talk and I just kinda kept walking to the car...that was the end of that shit for me.
[ This Message was edited by: Therion on 2003-12-29 17:00 ]