Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on September 16, 2007, 02:03:36 AM
-
Over the years, the Struggling Teens discussion board run by Lon Woodbury has provided much insight into the hearts and minds of parents who have turned over the raising of their children to a "program".
Of these parents, there are many who meet my personal definition of a Parent From Hell: Self-Absorbed (Narcissistic) Controlling and Pathologically Toxic.
The "advice" these parents would dispense to other parents about the features and benefits of a locked boarding school was the best advertising these hellholes could ask for.
All told, I wonder how many children ended up in a program because some other parent enabled their parent to buy into their bullshit propaganda? It has to be hundreds.
How do these so-called parents sleep at night?
Have they no conscious?
-
Conscience would imply they think they're doing someone a disservice. In their eyes, you're the misguided one.
-
All told, I wonder how many children ended up in a program because some other parent enabled their parent to buy into their bullshit propaganda? It has to be hundreds.
Methinks you got those numbers a bit low... Try thousands. Per year. Parents rely on other parents' opinions of a given place a great deal. Where it is available, it will be availed of.
-
i think we should write a petition for a bill barring parents from recieving funds or discounts in return for reccomending other parents to institutions.
my mom managed to get 3 months tuition off because she reffered 3 kids from the neighborhood to HLA. those 3 kids never stopped harassing me.
-
For any newcomers: ST posts can be found here (http://http://wwf.fornits.com/viewtopic.php?t=23123)
-
I would like to join the struggling parents hall of shame.
I have made a horrible mistake by placing my child into a treatment centre and am doing my best to correct the situation as soon as possible.
Yes, I am very ashamed.
I only hope my child will be ok and that one day can forgive me and that I can one day forgive myself.
:(
-
..............
-
Rayjax, did your "foist your kid off rather than make an effort to raise him as you should have?" Are you one of those
"older, rich parents" that just couldn't be bothered with your own kid?
Are you "more screwed up than your own kid?" as you accuse other program parents?
Here's your own post.
My son went to Outback Therapeutic Expedition and he says it was the worst of all of the programs he has heard about since. They appear to charge the most money, but spend as little as possible on the kids. They brag about not giving the kids tents or backpacks and having them make their own out of tarps and willow sticks. They spend maybe $6 on materials and save a bundle, while the kids are struggling in sub-zero temperatures while carrying maybe 1/3 their body weight on crappy pack frames. If you have hiked much, you know how important a pack frame is. If you look at Outback Therapeutic Expeditions very closely, you will probably conclude they are attempting to make as much money as possible off of your kids.
My son says therapy is a joke. That was my experience. We would have a fifty minute phone call once a week, but nothing of any substance would be discussed in the call. I have later discovered that Utah law appears to require one hour a week of therapy for residential therapeutic programs. I am not sure that Outback Therapeutic Expedition meets that requirement.
The basic premise of Outback Therapeutic Expedition appears to be that they will make your kids life so miserable that they will do anything to keep from being sent back there again. I do not believe that is an appropriate goal for a program such as this.
I went through a 'seminar' prior to visiting my son in which their new counselors were being trained. Most of these new counselors were fresh out of similar programs themselves. I was dismayed to think that my son was being cared for 90+% of his time in the program by kids fresh out of similar programs. In effect, he didn't have counselors, just fellow inmates that were being paid.
Back to top
-
Rayjax, did your "foist your kid off rather than make an effort to raise him as you should have?" Are you one of those
"older, rich parents" that just couldn't be bothered with your own kid?
Are you "more screwed up than your own kid?" as you accuse other program parents?
Here's your own post.
I think that's uncalled for. At least yet. If you want to fight with program parents, I have no problem with that. But let's try not to slam them on the first post they make. How 'bout letting them speak a little bit about what they think now that they've had experience with programs and THEN make a judgement, hmm?
-
Mine is a case of child custody dispute. My then 15 yo son didn't want to live with his mother, and the court had given me joint custody. My ex-wife continued to file motions for custody and after misguidedly thinking that giving in would appease her, I agreed to her having temporary residential custody. In maybe 10 days after getting temporary residential custody, she had him forceably escorted or gooned to a Utah wilderness program without my knowledge or consent in spite of me having joint custody. From that program, she had him gooned to a 'therapeutic boarding school.'
He has never committed a crime, never taken drugs, never skipped school, and has been obedient to all of the reasonable requests of both of his parents.
The program he is in now has obstructed his contact with me for the past 5 months, claiming Adolescent Identity Disorder, a diagnosis that was removed from the DSM-IV many years ago. I believe that this diagnosis arose after my wife threatened to remove him from their program if they did not interfere with my contact.
I no longer remember how many court hearings I have had on this matter. I have another one today. Wish me luck.
-
Rayjax, did your "foist your kid off rather than make an effort to raise him as you should have?" Are you one of those
"older, rich parents" that just couldn't be bothered with your own kid?
Are you "more screwed up than your own kid?" as you accuse other program parents?
No, as I said above, this is a custody dispute. Yes, my wife is an older, richer parent who never attended a single school program involving my son, never went to a single wrestling match with him, and has never been involved in his life. She gets 13 weeks a year of vacation and spends at most a few days of it with him.
Yes, I am more screwed up than my kid. I have had many more years of practice at it. He is a normal 16 year old with normal 16 year old problems. No drug addiction, no mental disorders, no other conditions that would warrant him being confined in a residential treatment facility.
-
Go over there and get him by force.
They are not a legal... anything. Go over there and pick him up. Bring friends if you have to.
-
I have no problem with that.
Well as long as it's okay with you.
-
And bring a video camera.
-
To the parent: Are your court hearings taking place in Utah, or your home state?
If you currently have joint custody of your son; can't you legally go to Utah and demand removal of your son from this facility until the courts decide on the custody issues?
What does your attorney say about these issues?
-
There is a lot to be said about doing the deed in person. When they are faced with you at their door, in person, a parent with co-custody... it is much more difficult to stall. You could say you happened to be in the area "on business" and wish to have a visit with your son. Take him elsewhere, for a walk or a cup of coffee, get the low-down straight from him without them snooping around.
If he can't stand it and cites instances of abuse, just don't bring him back. File charges when the two of you get home. You have to do this. Not only to prevent your son from being sent back, but also to prevent your ex-wife from filing kidnapping charges or some other bullshit. She may well do it anyway, but those charges will have less teeth if you've already filed yours.
It may be a problem if he has been brainwashed into thinking he needs to be there. Then you definitely have to wrangle with the courts. But at least your son will know who to turn to when it gets unbearable.
-
........................
-
Worst possible outcome. The judge ordered an independent evaluation to be conducted by the Mormon Utah psychologist picked by my ex-wife.
-
These guys have been ignoring the joint custody thing from day one. They are frauds and have years of practice at this stuff. This isn't their first time doing this kind of thing. They are acutely aware that I am hostile to their program and there is no way their staff who knows what I look like would let me any where close to my son. If I rescue my son from this facility, he will have to disappear for 2 years until he turns 18.
-
No, he may have drank the koolaide, but he isn't brainwashed. He sends me signals in his letters to let me know he is lying to them.
-
I'm recommending relocation to Canada... but then again, I recommended that for fornits too, and see how well that went :(
Rachael
-
If I rescue my son from this facility, he will have to disappear for 2 years until he turns 18.
SMALL PRICE TO PAY.
(http://http://4chanarchive.org/images/39101047/1189486883485.jpg)
-
I'm not really up on the legalities of this. A lot depends on what is in that document you signed with your ex-wife. You need to have a lawyer go over that with a fine-toothed comb. If you can not afford good legal advice, check to see whether there is a hot-line staffed by attorneys or legal students that you can call for advice on that document.
Do you have a copy of his birth certificate? I don't think they can legally deny you access to him if you carry appropriate identification as to who you are, and if you are armed with the birth certificate as well. There may be things you can charge your ex-wife with, as well as the so-called boarding school, if that transpires. Somebody else's suggestion that you arrive with friends, one of whom has a video camera, is a good one I think. Especially helpful would be if one of those people were from local law enforcement, but being Utah, that's going to be tough. Not impossible though, some one else might know someone who is more sympathetic to justice than they are to their local cronies.
Also, things can get murky if she has charged or subsequently charges you with some kind of harassment or physical violence incidents. Having others along for the visit also ensures that there are witnesses so the "school" can not make something up about what actually transpired.
I would strongly urge that you PM Deborah here on the forum, as she has a fair amount of experience in what you are up against. She would be able to give far better advice than I can...
-
If you can - get your lawyer to go with you. Or a lawyer. Might want to call up some of the journalist who have covered the story of abuse and neglect in private programs in Utah and see if they'd like to tag along. Do take a camera. Also a recording devise. Record everything.
Naturally take your paper work, and copies, in case they (the program) insist you provide a copy.
When you get your son in your custody take him to a doctor. Get his weight recorded and get a record of any marks or bruses to his body.
A camera can be useful with this as you can photograph all this on the spot in the hotel room - but be sure to have his face in the photos - and something to prove the date - like a newspaper.
Back to the doctor visit - have him checked for narcotics and sedatives that might have been given to him by the staff. Many of these drugs have a short half life so if they are in his system when you pull him it would indicate he was given them while in the program. This would of course be illegal if not prescribed by a doctor - but apparently it is a common enough event.
Have him write up a statement as soon as he feels up to it. Tell him not to be afraid to tell the truth, that you will believe him. Still, there may be things he won't want to tell his dad. The doctor visit might help with this too - and a private conversation with an attorney might be a good idea. If this is a WWASP program - please consider writting me privately.
Good luck.
-
Where is the wider family in all this? Is it at all possible for you to get one of your wives siblings to talk some sense into her while you are retrieving the kid? or a Grandparent? What about your side of the family? are they a possible source of assistance?
-
The ex-wife doesn't have any contact with any of her family. At this point, it appears her only friends are people who work for her. I have heard that she has fired everyone in her office recently, so it appears that no one currently working for her has been there for more than a year. I would be very surprised if any of her employee/friends would be willing to talk to her about this.
-
Any chance you can get any members of her family on board with you? That might go a long way as far establishing your credibility over hers... Keep your relationship with her minimized. Focus on what's best for your son.
-
These guys have been ignoring the joint custody thing from day one. They are frauds and have years of practice at this stuff. This isn't their first time doing this kind of thing. They are acutely aware that I am hostile to their program and there is no way their staff who knows what I look like would let me any where close to my son. If I rescue my son from this facility, he will have to disappear for 2 years until he turns 18.
Why? What does the decree state?
BTW, I've been there. And in hindsight, I would've done things very differently. Be pro active rather than finding yourself on the defensive. If you aren't then the program is likely to testify on your ex's account and use their "professional" opinion to sway the judge. You'll end up with a judgement that your kid will stay and the lost visitation will be made up post program.
Court ordered rights (if you have them) supercede any program policy. You are well within your rights to show up anytime the order specifies and demand his release. File a motion with the court, then go get him. Take a local cop with you if you anticipate problems. There's the risk that they may be in cahoots with the program, but they are sanctioned with upholding the law.
Your argument would be that you consider the placement to be unnecessarily restrictive and in violation of your rights without just cause. You want the kid home so you can have an independent (not the program's) evaluation to prove this.
-
To this father:
Our daughter was at Whitmore Academy in Utah.
We requested a police escort to accompany us when we removed our daughter from Whitmore Academy.
Another parent/father contacted me here on fornits. He had "joint custody of his son" who had been placed at Whitmore Academy by his ex-wife without his permission or knowledge. He finally took his custody papers to the Nephi Police Department, requested a police escort, and went to Whitmore Academy and removed his son, and left with him. "Custody" issues were resolved later, after the son was removed from this facility.
Utah officials will honor legal custody documents. You should have the legal right to remove your son from a facility.
What Utah officials have you contacted? Have you called the Utah Office of Licensing,? The Attorney Generals Office? The State Attorney? The Local Police?
-
I screwed up and tried to do the court motion first. I should have removed my son and then filed the motion. If only I had known then what I know how. Now the judge has ordered the program to be 'independently' evaluated by a Utah psychologist selected by my ex-wife. My opportunity for removing my son from the program is past and he is screwed.
-
Now you're just looking for an excuse to be a pussy.
This is pathetic. I'm about to call troll here. This man has no balls.
-
No attorney who might be representing a parent, or a Judge is this stupid. Not even in Utah. Go troll somewhere else!
-
No attorney who might be representing a parent, or a Judge is this stupid. Not even in Utah. Go troll somewhere else!
God I wish this were true.
-
I screwed up and tried to do the court motion first. I should have removed my son and then filed the motion. If only I had known then what I know how. Now the judge has ordered the program to be 'independently' evaluated by a Utah psychologist selected by my ex-wife. My opportunity for removing my son from the program is past and he is screwed.
This sounds heavily biased from the start. Any chance you can have a second opinion if you are willing to pay for it? Plus, why is the program being evaluated and not your son? Perhaps this can be used to your advantage?
-
If this "parent" is real and want help; why can't he name the program?
-
I screwed up and tried to do the court motion first. I should have removed my son and then filed the motion. If only I had known then what I know how. Now the judge has ordered the program to be 'independently' evaluated by a Utah psychologist selected by my ex-wife. My opportunity for removing my son from the program is past and he is screwed.
You dont seem to be forthcoming with everyone here, there doesnt appear to be any active cases of this type (as you have describe) in utah......It is also difficult to believe that the Utah judge is going to allow a woman, from out of state, to choose a professional to evaluate one of their own schools.
You should name the school in question to attain further help here.
-
If this "parent" is real and want help; why can't he name the program?
Perhaps he is concerned with his anonymity, perhaps with cause. Give the parent the benefit of the doubt.
-
I screwed up and tried to do the court motion first. I should have removed my son and then filed the motion. If only I had known then what I know how. Now the judge has ordered the program to be 'independently' evaluated by a Utah psychologist selected by my ex-wife. My opportunity for removing my son from the program is past and he is screwed.
You dont seem to be forthcoming with everyone here, there doesnt appear to be any active cases of this type (as you have describe) in utah......It is also difficult to believe that the Utah judge is going to allow a woman, from out of state, to choose a professional to evaluate one of their own schools.
You should name the school in question to attain further help here.
TheWho fondles young penis, so take his advice for what it's worth.
-
My ex-wife kidnapped my son and had him taken to Utah last November. The case and judge is in a different state. My ex-wife has hired people to search the internet to hunt for anything I might be posted. Some of that material has already shown up in court.
The last thing in the world that I want is for her to show up with internet stuff telling the judge that I am preparing to get my kid out of the program.
If you can't figure out what program he is in, you haven't been paying attention.
-
Don't give up, don't let go, don't give in, don't let on.
In your bed, late at night, red hot red, don't get up.
-
Can you imagine naming the program with someone like TheWho on here? My god! Only an idiot would do that.
-
I wonder how many teens Struggling Teens has been responsible for sending away? I wonder how many teens Fornits has prevented from being sent away? I wonder how close are these two numbers, I think not very since they make their living off of their site.
-
If I had found this site even just a few months ago, my son wouldn't be stuck in one of these programs. If I had found it a year ago, he may have never been in one.
-
If I had found this site even just a few months ago, my son wouldn't be stuck in one of these programs. If I had found it a year ago, he may have never been in one.
Any news? Did you talk to your atty yet?