Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Anonymous on June 20, 2007, 07:27:01 AM
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How would you go about convincing a distressed 12 year old that seeing someone is a good idea?
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tell her its always nice to have someone to talk to that you can trust....keep in mind she will have to establish trust first ...so make sure you find one she likes (not someone u like) and tell her if she doesnt feel comfortable you can find someone better suited...keep looking until u find someone perfect for her needs and she will see the effort it took to make her feel comfortable enough to talk and she will then also trust you...also keep in mind that 12 is still young and she may not have all the words or tools to tell you exactly what she wants to ...so be patient...mostly establish TRUST...this is above all the most important factor....good luck....I was taken to see someone to talk to and had established a good relationship w/ them.... but my parents didnt like that she was telling them it was them that needed to change not me...so my parents found straight inc..where it is always the childs fault...never the parents????????I do not talk to my parents ... its been 20 years...needless to say they made a very bad parental decision...I pray no child gets sent away and that all who were and are are able to heal...
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Ask her if she wants to go? IF they don't want to do it you are going to be paying a kid to shit there in total silence for the entire time, and the therapist will not tell you this, and so you will be paying money for your kid to sit their completely silent in a room with a person who reads, and gets paid well for it, with both people in this arrangement quite amused their parents are getting 'their moneys worth'.. just saying.. it's not I would do something like that when I was 12.
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Ask her if she wants to go? IF they don't want to do it you are going to be paying a kid to shit there in total silence for the entire time, and the therapist will not tell you this, and so you will be paying money for your kid to sit their completely silent in a room with a person who reads, and gets paid well for it, with both people in this arrangement quite amused their parents are getting 'their moneys worth'.. just saying.. it's not I would do something like that when I was 12.
I agree... but I HAD to point out your spelling errors, especially the first one... :rofl:
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cut me some slack..i emptied three volcano bags since starting to post this morn
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cut me some slack..i emptied three volcano bags since starting to post this morn
yeah but that was by FAR the best typo this morning! by Far! You should win a typo prize :exclaim::exclaim::exclaim:
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..you are going to be paying a kid to shit there in total silence for the entire time...
I don't know about you folks, but when I sit there shitting, it's usually not in total silence, if you catch my drift...
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And if you suspect the kid may be self harming? They deny it but you cant be 100 percent sure that they are not having a few "Accidents"
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Same rules apply if she's self-harming. You can never force someone to get help.
Self-injury isn't the end of the world. It's a coping mechanism that indicates she's having some troubles, but she's trying to deal with them as best she can. Self-injury is very different from being suicidal, I'd posit that it's pretty much the opposite. It's someone trying their best to live through something difficult. Now, of course you want to help her get past whatever the cause of her grief is. That could be something as big as sexual abuse or something as seemingly insignificant as feeling on the outside at school. But still, you can't force her to talk to someone about it.
You can try talking about it with her yourself. But don't be confrontational or judgmental about it. And don't make it imperative for her to stop injuring herself either. If she's gotten to the point where she's hurting herself, she's tried other coping mechanisms that haven't worked. She needs to self-injure right now. It's what she is using to keep herself sane. But if you are supportive and not adversarial, there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to talk about it with her yourself. Bring up some options - therapy being the one you're looking at obviously - but if she does identify anything as her particular cause of stress, maybe come up with some alternate solutions. For me, what would have helped was changing schools when I was in Grade 8, or even just some more positive support from my mother. I needed her to spend time with me, not fighting with me. I'm sure I was a witch to be around some days, but I needed her unconditional love and support. That would have made all the difference in the world to me.
Be nicer. That may be all she needs. If she feels alone (and almost all self-injurers do), that might make it a bit easier for her. Enough to tackle some of her other demons.
Rachael