Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: dreammagician on April 26, 2003, 02:46:00 PM
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Does anybody know of any of the ex straights getting together here in Orlando to protest Newton and all the hell we were put through. I just want to set the record straight and would like everybody out there to know the real truth behind all the lies and propaganda. I get sick to my stomach when I hear my dad say that I deserved everything that I had coming to me. I should let it go, but I just like to fight for what I beleive in, and trust me, being deprived of sleep, food, not being trusted, always made to feel bad, always feeling guilty, getting sat on by five guys at one time on the freakin concrete floor. Peanut butter diet. I was so screwed up when I finally got out of there after over three years of hell in that place. I really want everybody to know the truth, because I would hate to see the same thing that happened to me and still is happening to me happen to anyone else. Remember all those stupid songs we had to sing. My family told all of my relatives that I was a drug addict and now for the rest of my life I have that stigma. It almost makes a man turn to the bottle for support. Just the other day straight came up in a converstation. I told my dad that it really screwed me up, he chuckled, you deserved every minute of what you got, but dad what about all the abuse, getting sat on and threatened with the psych ward, he doesn't see the true picture. The other day, I was sitting over at a friends house when this girl walked in and said I know you from somewhere, I didn't say anything, but I recognized her immidietely. Well after about 10 minutes, I looked at her and said I met you in straight. Her eyes got big, the look on her face was in disbelief. She described her life almost as bad as mine has been. Her parents are against her and she was led into a life of prostitution and hard drugs. I'm glad I don't do hard drugs anymore, but it just makes you feel real bad. write me back here if anyone out there has any ideas or wants to pursue maybe going after these scum bags. Newton and Sembler are on top of the list.
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spread the word. educate the public. get involved.
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Three fucking years? Goddamn! I was there for thirteen months (well, 12 actually, I 'copped out' and stayed gone for one month) and it fucked me up pretty bad. I went through the same shit with my dad, too, you know "well, you did the drugs and put yourself there" which is half true (guess which half). I think maybe he knows that he fucked up by sending me there and is "in denial". Who fucking knows. The thing to do is to get involved in letting the world know what kind of creeps ran that place and the hell that it was. Personally, I want to shit on Miller Newton's grave one day. I'd love to see him gang-raped in prison ( something he said he hoped would happen to me). Also on my list of shitheads who should be tried, Nuremberg-style for crimes against humanity are: Ruth Newton, Marc Newton, Steve Meade, Kevin Lowe, Williaim Rollins, Alice Rollins, Todd Toth, Bruce Stanton, John Repatowski, Roger Amundsen, whoever that faggot ex-priest who spoke at my hearing to get out of Straight was ( Chris something-or-other ) and a few other pieces of human excrement whose names escape me for the moment. These assholes tortured me under the guise of therapy and fucked me up real good. It took YEARS to even begin to deal with the damage they dished ou to me--that's not even counting the time I spent there. NEVER FORGIVE! NEVER FORGET! :skull: :skull: :skull:
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Stay away 12 stepper, your lies are not welcome here
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rember the people you wish this on are human to and did what they were told to do as a sister of one on your list i am sorry if you will acept it it should not have happen
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did what they were told to do
You can only stretch this one so far...
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I tend to agree
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If you're Julie Jones, I might still want to fuck you. Send pix.
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If you're Roger's sis, please don't send pictures. The hangman is getting itchy for your sorry ass brother..... :smokin: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull: :skull:
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Sorry? You're fucking sorry? As a "sister of someone on" my list YOU can suck my fucking cock, bitch. Your fucking genetics makes me disgusted. Whatever worth you may have had as a human being is negated by your relationship to whoever it was you share DNA with. I hope you burn in Hell with them, after seeing each other sodomized by rabid dogs.
Fuck off (and die, real soon)
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guess again asshole my name is sara i was abuse also and should not have been there but if you want to insulte me i have not a thing to say to you my bother is todd toth
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Please don't send a picture--my memory of seeing you is horrible enough. As for your brother, he ACTIVELY participated in abusing me on more than one occasion. He did this to others as well. This continued participation on his part makes him guilty of crimes against humanity. Your second hand apology, coupled with the excuse that he was only following orders, is an insult. The "I was following orders" defense didn't cut it at Nuremberg, and doesn't cut it now. Stop apologizing for that power-crazed criminal Todd and your other asshole brothers (except Sam, he was OK, and too young to know differently, being raised as he was in a cult-indoctrinated family). All Straight staffers, from executives to trainees, are psychotic criminals that should be held accountable and punished for the physical and psychological abuse they enjoyed dishing out. The fact that they did it under the guise of 'therapy' makes it that much more digusting. They are all scum.
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sorry you feel this way i was there at the same time as you if you want to discuss in the proper way feel free to email me and all my bothers are not crimals and dont worry your small mind i would not send a pic tell me who you are
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Who I am is of no consequence. The fact that you continue to make excuses for sadistic assholes like Todd Toth, Mike Toth, and others who participated in these criminal acts shows me that you are not interested in helping Survivors and Victims of Straight, but in excusing the behavior of those who perpetrated violations of human rights. "GET HONEST, SARA!"
Ifeel that by making the names of these scumbags known, I AM discussing it "properly".
NEVER FORGIVE! NEVER FORGET!
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you dont know shit i am more involed with helping an you think have be for the past 3years when i found out about all this shit if you knew what you were talking about as far as my family mike is a full blowen addict now so fuck off and that is all i have to say i have not seen you at the protest or the meetings so you are not involed in the help people are trying to do go to hell you are so full of shit hold on to the feelings you have
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How the fuck would you know whether you've seen me or not you dumb bitch?
I don't hate him (Todd) because he's your brother, I hate him for what he did to me and others like me. Just as I don't hate you for being his sister, I hate you for being a stupid bitch who defends assholes like Todd Toth and Co.
NEVER FORGIVE! NEVER FORGET!
[ This Message was edited by: Idreamofnewtonsburning on 2004-03-01 10:52 ]
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i am not a bitch and you are the one who sucksasshole that you are i would know if you were there get a life
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i am not a bitch and you are the one who sucksasshole that you are i would know if you were there get a life
How would you know? Do you know who he is?
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i know who i was in the program with and thereis one female from my time that has be there that is how i know
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All talk, all talk. Not convincing me of your toughness hiding behind your cloak of anonymity. Not so convicted, if you can not show your face. Only a small man, a very small man would boast dreams of rape to inflate some false illusion of power. Twenty years later and you are just as vile as them and just as small with all the filthy hate you spew like bile. Your anger is valid. Your rage understandable. Your torment sad. I have compassion for you but, with all respect you seriously need to look at why twenty years have passed and you are still allowing them to rule you with such force as is so evident in your rant.
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What makes you think I'm trying to convince you or anyone of my toughness? I stay anonymous because I am embarrassed and feel stigmatized by my experience at Straight. I feel what I consider a justifiable hate toward those that caused me to suffer unjustly, and if misfortune happens to them or theirs, I will indulge in a little schadenfreud (that's German for 'taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others).
Yeah, I preach the good hate, honey.
As for my small-minded, vile, false illusion of power seeking self, well, I am what they made me.
I wouldn't be nearly as fucked up as I am now if I had never been Miller's funhouse. :smokin: :skull:
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Anyone else? anon?
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I am the devil therion, and you will find this to be truth, here, everywhere, in life, this one sure fact..Everyone fucking hates everyone...I give you "The Blue"
*The Blue*
Across your face
I see what you are
You wanna kill the sun
Blot out the stars
I know you, you're nothing
You're so small
You're fucking nothing
Nothing at all
The sun burns on
It reminds me of you
The slit wrists of the sky
Bleeding into the blue
We twist beneath forever
Cause do you know what you've done
Ants in the afterbirth
We're slugs under the sun
I could not wake the dead man dreaming
Acid party, murder at the late show
Mutate me and breed yourselves a savior
I could not kill the dead man screaming
Eat my dead cock
Eat my dead cock
I have fallen deep in love with the sky
Fragments of a sunbeam glaring on a kitchen knife
Leaves will fall as everything must follow
Kill your idol, come on, jump into the void
Eat my cold shit
Everybody whispers where birds fall dead
I smell the yellow sickness churning inside your head
Wiping flecks of foam, twisting with rabies
Bloody, we run through these fields of dead daisies
How can I ever
Make you know what you've done
Ants in the afterbirth
We're slugs under the sun
I have fallen in love with the sky
Fragments of sunbeam glaring on a kitchen knife
[ This Message was edited by: The Devil Therion on 2004-02-16 02:42 ]
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Straight sucks and will always suck and we all know it. I hate straight so bad I could care less what other people think. I hope Mike get's better because I do have good memories of him. I love the Toth family for what they achieved in their own minds at the time. I remember Mr. Toth (postman, I beleive) They tried and were the victim's of the drug wars like us all.
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You might be right about the rest of the family, but I gotta agree with the other dude about Todd. He was on staff--Sr. Staff in Cincinnatti--and is guilty of abusing a lot of kids. :skull:
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Hey Trekker, I hear that some of the staff employed at straight like to Jag clients in the ass.
To your knowledge, is this true?
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Todd Toth was an asshole.. There were worse abuseres on staff, but he was definitely an asshole.
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On 2004-02-13 22:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I feel what I consider a justifiable hate toward those that caused me to suffer unjustly"
On 2004-02-13 22:47:00, Anonymous also wrote:
"As for my small-minded, vile, false illusion of power seeking self, well, I am what they made me ... I wouldn't be nearly as fucked up as I am now if I had never been Miller's funhouse. :smokin: :skull: "
Anon. Think about what you're saying. It's hypocritical. You say that you are what they made you, now. Well, perhaps one or more of the people who were named in a previous post are much the same way: how Straight made them. I think it's quite possible that, after all these years, many Straight survivors -- abusers and abusees alike (and many were both), however scarred -- have lived enough, loved enough, matured enough to have not only gone on with their lives, but changed for the better. As a survivor myself, who has had the pleasure of meeting other survivors, I know that the possibility of change -- of recovery, if you will -- is very real.
It seems to me that, by harboring all this resentment about what people did to you years ago, YOU are the one to blame for not giving YOURSELF the possibility of recovery. You, and others, who regurgitate your harbored resentment in the form of vulgar, profane, childish, and ultimately useless insults.
Please note that the recovery I speak of here has nothing to do with steps, alcohol, drugs, and the like -- it has to do with growing up and getting over things that happened to you when you were younger... And not blaming other young people who were exposed to the same sick, twisted environment that has left you so fucked up, even now, so many years later.
~ Mindi
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Well-behaved women rarely make history.
[ This Message was edited by: Cleopatra2U on 2004-03-01 12:48 ]
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Ok, that's cool if you've moved on, but why try to speak for everybody? I get that feeling..
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Cleo, your advice sounds a little too close to "forgive and forget" for my tastes. I say hang 'em high. If not for ourselves, then to keep them from doing it again.
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I can understand why you say that Cleo....I think I'm at the STARTING point of being able to let go of some of the really vehement anger (dont't think it'll ever go completely away), but it's taken me two years or more of reading and posting here, talking to others or just figuring some things out just to get to this point. When I first found these boards the anger was as intense as others' seem to be. Maybe with time it'll get better, but it felt good to be able to get some of that out when I first found these sites. Just MHO. :smile:
That which does not kill you can make you stronger, but I really never needed to be this strong.
Scott Wagner
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On 2004-03-01 12:50:00, Froderik13 wrote:
"Ok, that's cool if you've moved on, but why try to speak for everybody? I get that feeling.."
Sorry if I gave you that feeling, Froderik. I'm not trying to speak for everybody. What I am trying to do is explain to Anon, and to some others that spew anger and hatred on this and other threads here, that maybe they wouldn't be so damn angry if they let some of their anger go... Particularly anger they hold towards other "clients" who were subject to the same cultish mind-control tactics that they were, but perhaps chose to deal with differently.
We all know how Straight was. You could sit in your shit, not follow their rules, and be stuck on 1st phase where you're most likely to be abused... Or go along with the progam to some degree, maybe having to yell at other kids, maybe having to physically hurt other kids, so you could progress through the phases and get the hell out of there. Most people I know experienced both sides, myself included.
If you read these forums thoroughly -- and also testimonials and articles elsewhere -- you'll find that there are people who doled out abuse in Straight who truly regret what they did. I've had enough fists in my back and spit in my eye to feel terribly about putting my fist in other people's backs and spitting on one poor girl. I did not feel good about doing these things when I did them, but I felt that I had to at the time.
What I am trying to say is that people change, especially young people as they get older and mature. I don't see the sense in harboring anger against John Doe, because he was an asshole to you 20 years ago, when [A] you were both living under extenuating circumstances at the time and you haven't seen him in 20 years and perhaps he now has remorse, or is even worse off than you because he feels so bad about all that happened.
I am also trying to stick up for Sara because I know her; I know that she is not the names people are calling her on this forum.
I guess I am not doing a good job of explaining. Oh well. Either that, or people must want to be angry. Maybe they've been so angry for so long that they wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they weren't. *sigh*
~ M
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I undestand what you are trying to say Cleopatra2U and I agree.
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I agree that we were all subjected to the same abuse and I know I did things that hurt other people. All of us could stand to lose a little of the anger we have. I'm just saying give the guy a little time, it may happen.
Here's freedom to him who would read;
Here's freedom to him who would write;
None ever feared that the truth should be heard,
But them that the truth would indict.
--author unknown (circa 1914)
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Cleo, like Cayo said, it takes a while to get to that point, it did for me too. I was psycho for a while there when I first found this stuff. And beware the perils of speculation:
Either that, or people must want to be angry. Maybe they've been so angry for so long that they wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they weren't. *sigh*
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and I agree also that Sara isn't what she's being called here...at all.
Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.
--Thomas Paine
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I'll give you that other phasers don't deserve my anger--but I think a staff member is a different story. They did not have to participate in an abusive situation in order to graduate and get out, they chose to participate in an abusive situation in order to satisfy their fucked up needs for power. They are as guilty as Miller and Mel, although not to the same degree, they still participated in the shit that went on there on a daily basis. They are like the gaurds at Auschwitz--guilty not for masterminding the crimes, but for their voluntary participation.
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I say it all depends..to be concise.
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Depends on what? They "made a decision" to be on staff--they are guilty.
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On 2004-03-01 13:02:00, RTP2003 wrote:
"Cleo, your advice sounds a little too close to 'forgive and forget' for my tastes.
I say hang 'em high. If not for ourselves, then to keep them from doing it again."
If you're gonna be angry, focusing your anger on a purpose, such as keeping people from doing it again, is a good thing. Take Richard Bradbury for example. In directing his anger through the media and into the courts (instead of spewing bile on message boards), he's got a very real chance of finally bringing down the REAL villains here -- the people who created an environment where kids became intolerably cruel to other kids. (If Richard spent as much time writing graphic novels involving the Newtons' and Semblers' anatomy, and cursing at people on message boards, he wouldn't have time to go to court.)
Me, I don't have the history or the desire to go on a crusade, although I wholeheartedly respect those like Richard who do.
Me, I don't like to be angry, so when I feel it, I think to myself, "There's nothing I can do about this," and I let it go. It does come back, but with less and less force each time. This isn't forgiveness. This isn't forgetting. It's realizing that being angry about things that happened years ago isn't gonna do me a damn thing except keep me angry. And I don't like to be angry. But that's just me. You do as you please, but please don't call good people like Sara silly names.
~ M
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Richard Bradbury is a hero.
If you look back on the posts, Sara did her share of mudslinging and name-calling. I think Idreamofnewtonsburning (great username,btw)was pissed, and rightfully so, at the suggestionthat the staff members were "only human" and "doing what they were told". Read the fucking thread before you start deciding who started what.
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On 2004-03-01 13:25:00, cayohueso wrote:
"I agree that we were all subjected to the same abuse and I know I did things that hurt other people. All of us could stand to lose a little of the anger we have. I'm just saying give the guy a little time, it may happen."
On 2004-03-01 13:26:00, Froderik13 wrote:
"Cleo, like Cayo said, it takes a while to get to that point, it did for me too."
Point made, Cayo and Frod. I hope the Anon I was originally replying to, and the others on this thread I have expanded to include, eventually start to let go of their anger.
~ M
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On 2004-03-01 14:00:00, RTP2003 wrote:
"If you look back on the posts, Sara did her share of mudslinging and name-calling. I think Idreamofnewtonsburning (great username,btw)was pissed, and rightfully so, at the suggestionthat the staff members were "only human" and "doing what they were told". Read the fucking thread before you start deciding who started what."
This is the first thing Sara posted to this thread:
On 2004-02-12 17:12:00, Anonymous wrote:
"rember the people you wish this on are human to and did what they were told to do as a sister of one on your list i am sorry if you will acept it it should not have happen"
She was sticking up for her brother. I gather from reading the posts that her brother could be a jerk. But can you blame Sara for sticking up for him? I don't. And I don't see where she deserved to be attacked for doing so.
~ M
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I think she overSTEPped her bounds by sticking up for Todd, even if he is her brother, but that is not my main point. I think it would be wrong to forgive ANY of the staff from Straight for their participation in what many have called the "worst human rights violation in this country's history, (after slavery and the Native American genocide)". If you are "over it", well, more power to you. I would say that the fact that you know of this board and frequently post on it shows you are NOT as over it as you say. This is understandable-- it is very uncomfortable coming to grips with the shit we as survivors went through. Maybe you have just repressed your anger, I do not know. But don't belittle or minimize my experience at Straight by suggesting or impying that my anger is some sort of "character flaw" on my part. I think it's a healthy, natural reaction to the shit I was forced to endure.
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On 2004-03-01 14:24:00, RTP2003 wrote:
"I think it would be wrong to forgive ANY of the staff from Straight for their participation in what many have called the 'worst human rights violation in this country's history, (after slavery and the Native American genocide)'."
RTP, you have every right to your opinion. I actually tend to agree, EXCEPT in the case of CHILDREN who were COERCED onto staff after months to years of brainwashing. I think they should be cut some slack. This is just my opinion.
"If you are 'over it', well, more power to you. I would say that the fact that you know of this board and frequently post on it shows you are NOT as over it as you say."
Not over it. Dealing with it. I'm primarily here because I want to reacquaint with people I actually spent time with in Straight. I also have a very bad memory; reading and posting things here help me remember things about my 15 months in Straight that I thought were long forgotten. It's good to know where you come from, and to understand what you've been through.
"But don't belittle or minimize my experience at Straight by suggesting or impying that my anger is some sort of 'character flaw' on my part. I think it's a healthy, natural reaction to the shit I was forced to endure."
It wasn't my intention to "belittle or minimize" yours or anyone else's experience. I personally don't like to be angry -- when I am angry, really angry, my whole body gets tense; my stomach feels knotted; my face feels hot and flushed; and my fists clench and unclench uncontrollably. I don't like to feel this way, and it is difficult for me to understand why anyone would want to. I'm not saying anger is a "flaw" (it's a feeling) or that it is wrong (like you said, it's a natural reaction)... Just undesirable.
~ Mindi
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Depends on what? They "made a decision" to be on staff--they are guilty.
Actually that "depends" could work either way.
Think about it..
I used to feel like that about staff. I also felt that way about certain phasers as well. I don't anymore...
And it depends on their attitude now.
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rip2003 your hero richard also was on staff
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Well then he has set the standard that all former staff should should be held to. Until I see William Rollins digging through Mel's garbage and coming up with a penis pump, I hold him as responsible as Miller and Ruthie. That goes for any other ex-staff as well. The treatment that staff doled out as a matter of routine policy was damaging and abusive to the survivors, the victims who did not survive, and society as a whole. Anyone who was on staff participated in these abuses as a matter of course, and did so from a position of authority and under the ruse of providing "therapy".
If they have not shown Richard's level of remorse and dedication to the survivor community and cause at large, they still owe a debt to us that it would be cowardly and unethical of us to forgive.
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I have read your experiences. Damn what happened was a holocaust.
Why don't each of you submit a statement to Bradbury's attorney regarding your experience with the child abuser Newton.
Newton's depo is on Apirl 26, 2004 I can't wait to see what Bradbury does to him.
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It won't be anything compared to what I'll do to him... ::hehehmm::
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I dunno who these people are that are being talked about but there were some staffers that I liked and respected and then there were some that I didn't and I felt were totally full of shit personally and were their to ride on the great power trip.
I have seen some post on here that apologized to people that they were not sure if they may have treated badly or abused in some way, that I can respect as we all learn shit as we get older and experience real life.
I was reading a post on the yahoo site and caught wind that staff could be set back as well in regards to status. Is this true? If they were watched and reviewed like us phasers were in the aspect of status and pay increase by status.......it's all beginning to make more sence to me as why they acted the way they did.
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Being on staff at straight is one of the most respectable vocations one could lay claim to!
They were saving the lives of our teens from the perils of drug abuse.