Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Anonymous on April 08, 2007, 02:52:01 PM
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And it had a $20 bill in it! I am so excited. I don't know where I am going to spend this money. I hope you had a happy easter. Jebus must be smiling down on me --- 20 freaking bucks!! YES!
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Jebus and me put that egg there for you to find especially. We didn't let anyone else find it because we wanted you to find it because we think you are the best, and we are right because it made you so happy! Did you see us? We were hiding behind a tree but we peeked out at you. A little girl saw us but she was getting too close to the golden one so Jebus made a face at her and she started crying and ran back to her mom. Her mom didn't believe her that Jebus made a face at her, but she taught her how to make a face back. Jebus felt bad but she didn't really need the 20 bucks, she wouldn't have known what to do with it and her parents would have opened a bank account for her and we're not really for all that banking education for little kids, it corrupts them. So we couldn't let her get it but I said to Jebus "couldn't you have just smelled her away with a big fart or something?" He punched me in the arm but it didn't really hurt, I have a lot of fluff. Me and Jebus are always punching each other, he's really kind of a wuss about it I'm like "oh, give me a break I have big soft bunny paws" and he's like "but I don't have any fluff!" I'm like, "dude, get used to it, the pagan gods are better. Maybe your Father in Heaven should have thought about giving you more fluff." But Jebus said he couldn't have an unfair advantage, the other people don't have fluff and they wouldn't have taken him seriously if he did. They'd be like "turn the other cheek? Easy for you to say!" He had to be able to hurt as much as or more than the other people. I'm like "dude, if that's what you're into." He's like "Yeah that's what I'm into!" I'm like "dude, have you ever noticed how much your poops stink? My poops are all cute and tiny." He's like "dude, you're right, your poops are better." He started getting kind of depressed and despondent so he went to the garden to meditate and some little bunnies were hopping around which made him kind of happy again. Then later I said to him "dude, why don't you just put on a grand finale and then get the fuck out of Dodge?" He's like "that's not a bad idea." He was sucking on a piece of straw for a long time thinking about it then he came up with a pretty good plan, he said it would trick people for a long time which he would really get a kick out of. So I met him at the cave where they carried him and put my bunny paws on his bleeding spots and breathed bunny breath on him and he woke up and said he didn't even have a headache or anything. That part was a long time ago. Now we mostly hang out at bingo halls and putt-putt golf fixing games. We don't always let the best person win, sometimes we let the worst person win just to fuck with everybody. Jebus and me get a kick out that. But we not big on banking for little kids.
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Thank you Easter Bunny,for everything.
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Jebus, I just knew I'd find you up to no good, frightening little girls like that! Silly wabbit, dicks are for chicks! Now come and let's quicken the Earth. To Haties w/ Perciphone. Her mom's a bitch anyway. It's time for some Spring rompin!
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What's with this "Jebus" shit? :roll:
Is that the Negroid pronunciation? :rofl:
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I'm too cool to drink at Starbucks, or shop at Walmart.
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What's with this "Jebus" shit? :roll:
Is that the Negroid pronunciation? :rofl:
Yeahbuh, mabuh.. Jeebuhbihbus bebuh thuhbuh waybuh Ibuh likebuh tubuh saybuh itbuh.... :rofl:
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I'm like "dude, have you ever noticed how much your poops stink? My poops are all cute and tiny."
...and they make some dang good fertilizer too! But watch out for the peeee! It can scour yo furniture!
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Hope everyone had a good zombie jesus day.
Wait, actually... I don't give a crap.
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Jebus and me put that egg there for you to find especially. We didn't let anyone else find it because we wanted you to find it because we think you are the best, and we are right because it made you so happy! Did you see us? We were hiding behind a tree but we peeked out at you. A little girl saw us but she was getting too close to the golden one so Jebus made a face at her and she started crying and ran back to her mom. Her mom didn't believe her that Jebus made a face at her, but she taught her how to make a face back. Jebus felt bad but she didn't really need the 20 bucks, she wouldn't have known what to do with it and her parents would have opened a bank account for her and we're not really for all that banking education for little kids, it corrupts them. So we couldn't let her get it but I said to Jebus "couldn't you have just smelled her away with a big fart or something?" He punched me in the arm but it didn't really hurt, I have a lot of fluff. Me and Jebus are always punching each other, he's really kind of a wuss about it I'm like "oh, give me a break I have big soft bunny paws" and he's like "but I don't have any fluff!" I'm like, "dude, get used to it, the pagan gods are better. Maybe your Father in Heaven should have thought about giving you more fluff." But Jebus said he couldn't have an unfair advantage, the other people don't have fluff and they wouldn't have taken him seriously if he did. They'd be like "turn the other cheek? Easy for you to say!" He had to be able to hurt as much as or more than the other people. I'm like "dude, if that's what you're into." He's like "Yeah that's what I'm into!" I'm like "dude, have you ever noticed how much your poops stink? My poops are all cute and tiny." He's like "dude, you're right, your poops are better." He started getting kind of depressed and despondent so he went to the garden to meditate and some little bunnies were hopping around which made him kind of happy again. Then later I said to him "dude, why don't you just put on a grand finale and then get the fuck out of Dodge?" He's like "that's not a bad idea." He was sucking on a piece of straw for a long time thinking about it then he came up with a pretty good plan, he said it would trick people for a long time which he would really get a kick out of. So I met him at the cave where they carried him and put my bunny paws on his bleeding spots and breathed bunny breath on him and he woke up and said he didn't even have a headache or anything. That part was a long time ago. Now we mostly hang out at bingo halls and putt-putt golf fixing games. We don't always let the best person win, sometimes we let the worst person win just to fuck with everybody. Jebus and me get a kick out that. But we not big on banking for little kids.
This is hysterical!!!
I sat here and laughed out loud while I read it.
Whoever you are...that was great!!
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Ibuh thoughbuh itbuh wabuh prebuh funbuh toobuh.
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:bump:
Happy zombie Jebus day everybody!
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Perhap, those who are honest, and those who are brave ,will examine the historical record. Either he was,or he wasn't. Either he is or he ain't. If he is, then your life changes, and reality changes. If he ain't nothing ventured, nothing gained. Those of us who believe with reason will continue to do so, and it will inform our lives, and mayhap we will inform yours. A thing is what it is, and not something else. Happy Easter! He is risen, and so may we all!
J.O.M