On 2003-04-16 12:35:00, Carmel wrote: "*puff puff* I wish every day that I could go back into group and rail against the system like so many of those kids did... ...and I would have probably gotten a little more relief to my damaged psyche if I had been. |
| On 2003-04-16 12:35:00, Carmel wrote: "*puff puff* Who was the bigger dumb-ass? I wish every day that I could go back into group and rail against the system like so many of those kids did. |
| I was a total dupe and worked every single day of my program until the day I copped out. |
| I never purposefully was deceptive or dishonest, and I would have probably gotten a little more relief to my damaged psyche if I had been. |
I say Bong's to the dumb-asses! Can is till sign up for non-compliance? ::hehehmm:: Post by: 85 Day Jerk on April 16, 2003, 09:16:00 PM That whole misbehavior thing was the creation of Dr. George Ross, who joined the program in the late fall of 1978. He was trying to bring a civilized tone to us "druggie heathen bastards." It took quite a bit of effort to be a really good jerk back in them days. The group had 437 kids in it back when I first came in. I know, I counted them all. That is how boring the raps used to be. It took a lot to study the individual staff members and catalog their weaknesses and then strike when the moment was right. Like the time Marie Ward got up in my face and I sniffed the air and said, "You smell like Stridex, bitch." She had just gotten over a super bad case of acne and was very self concious about it. Or the time Chris Casselor sprained his ankle and claimed it was from playing football, when it actually was from him trying to climb up the vent pipe and paint over where I had scratched the words "Jerk Power" with a little fist up near the ceiling. I was so freaking dedicated to my craft that at the risk of a beating by 4th phase goons one Saturday, I called Mrs. Petermann 'Frau Blooker' and whinnied like a horse every time she came in and out of staff offices and the group, until she ordered me into the Think Room, just so I could scratch "Nice Try 4-eyes" into the pipe and give ole Chris something to reflect back on. We had 4th phasers getting high and then coming into group back then and the program had grown too big too fast. I got away with a lot of shit by simply giving a false name because with 3 or 4 intakes a day, staff could'nt keep up. We even had to state our names before relating while on 1st phase just so the group would know who to say they loved when we sat down. It was all so ridiculous that being a Jerk was really the only viable option left open to me. I put alot of effort into it simply because I was raised with a strong sense of pride and work ethics. Thank you for your support. Post by: LeighBright on April 16, 2003, 09:27:00 PM As a person who misbehaved (and it was because I was a stubborn idiot, lest you continue to glamorize us "misbehaviors" as courageous or intelligent) I find it humorous to read that you guys look back and wish you had misbehaved! In fact, it reminds me of people that were never in the program who say they would have just "run away.":lol: As if. But if y'all remember, you each chose to go along with the program because that was the most intelligent choice for you at that time! If I had to guess, I would say that all of you were 16 or older when you went in, and therefore were actually the ones who had a more grounded footing. You were probably closer to a young adult, than to a child, whereas I, and typically other "misbehaviors" were more child-like than young adult. So in actuality, although we acted out because we knew the program was wrong, we hadn't been through the kind of life experiences that you older kids had, so - we didn't know how to "go along." I guess it's all in the perspective, but I personally think you all made the wiser choice! Post by: Froderik on April 16, 2003, 10:19:00 PM I was more of the "go along with the program" type, pretty much. I have recollections of just sitting there not motivating at one point later on in my stay, and letting my beard grow out. I think I was just apathetic at that point. That may have been right before I put in for withdrawal. Now I can honestly say that I'm not sure what phase I was on when I put in for it. I used to think it was 5th, for some reason, but that just doesn't add up now that I think about this little bit of non-compliance just mentioned...maybe it was some kind of refresher or something. Damn, sorry to be rambling, but these uncertainties kinda bother me...but overall, I just went along with shit. I got confronted on 5th for buying punk albums, (the music of my "druggie past") There wasn't enough confrontation exhibited by my peers to make me want to stop listening to them, let alone get rid of them, much to the chagrin of staff member Matt Lyle. Christ, what a piece of work *that* guy was...While not a misbehaver, I guess I could have been labeled an "ass dragger" or "passive aggressive". I was in there for 26 months. My 5th phase was over a year long! I watched people come in after me and 'make' staff. It was like being an old inmate that all the guards knew, and almost respected in some way. I had no clue what the hell I was gonna do when I got out, I just knew that I wanted out...Finally I 7-stepped, fell 'out-of-step', and never looked back. ::bandit:: [ This Message was edited by: AlexL on 2003-04-16 19:45 ] Post by: JDavid on April 16, 2003, 10:28:00 PM Here's a thread where we talked about all kinds of funny details of misbehaving: http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=1655&forum=7 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=1655&forum=7) Post by: Don Smith on April 17, 2003, 07:32:00 AM If I had it to do all over I would've left off 4th Phase :wave: rather than fight. Like Metal, I had a few near death episodes involving glue and knew I needed some kind of help. Post by: JDavid on April 17, 2003, 08:52:00 AM [ This Message was edited by: JDavid on 2003-04-17 05:54 ] Post by: ClayL on April 17, 2003, 10:02:00 AM This brings me to a point. I have always had issues when the people who came in after the lawsuits talk about y'all should have done this or that. Everybody changed back then. There was no hope of withdrawing. Hell your request didn't even make it to a Trainee most of the time. I saw 5th phasers tear them up in the face of the kid wanting out while laughing and letting them know their lifes had just become a living hell. The only way out back then was to cop-out or 7-step. I was hundreds of miles from home and had no clothes or money or a way home. Knuckling under and 7-stepping seemd the only choice. It was only after the lawsuits that I noticed people had started to disappear. By them I was such a good straightling I felt sorry for the poor bastards. CL Post by: Carmel on April 17, 2003, 10:28:00 AM All sliced up! 4 slices, one for each year of age of the Slicer! Anybody wanna piece? I hear the shit brown filling in between is positively devine! boo hoo hoo....leave me alone you big bully! MOMMY!!!!!!!!! She's picking on me and its MY party! :cry2: Post by: Anonymous on April 17, 2003, 11:00:00 AM
Post by: Carmel on April 17, 2003, 11:54:00 AM LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..... That was a pretty deep and meanigful statement Morli...I am impressed... Lesse....PSYCHO, ya I can say it....SY-CO....do I get a cookie? How about I apologize to you for calling me that? EVERYBODY....I am SOOOO sorry that Morli called me a psycho. Are you proud? Oops, I better fuck off now (fucking off isnt insulting by the way)before I hurt her itty witty feelins! BTW - Thanks for giving me this opportunity to act like a 2 year old with you...its liberating! ::bwahaha2:: Post by: timmy on April 17, 2003, 12:01:00 PM Post by: 85 Day Jerk on April 17, 2003, 06:57:00 PM First we can have a paintball war. There is a place in Seminole I think. Next, I know of a kayak outfitter where we can switch the paddles with them pontoon things like they use in basic training and we can try to drown each other out in Cross Bayou. The winner gets to do several "victory donuts" in the parking lot of the old Straight Headquarters building off Gandy Blvd in St. Pete, while the loser gets his or her lungs pumped out. [ This Message was edited by: 85 Day Jerk on 2003-04-17 15:58 ] Post by: Anonymous on April 17, 2003, 08:44:00 PM Post by: Anonymous on April 17, 2003, 09:14:00 PM Post by: Carmel on April 17, 2003, 09:39:00 PM Come close now....thats right, real close, let me whisper it... Wanna know whats even more twisted? The fact that my silly post makes enough difference to you that you actually responded to it. Shhhhhhh....dont let the secret out! :scared: Post by: Anonymous on April 18, 2003, 12:41:00 AM I like you style................ Post by: Anonymous on April 18, 2003, 03:47:00 AM You Rock! :tup: O Post by: Carmel on April 18, 2003, 09:39:00 AM Or at least until the other Anon gets tired of reading my psychotic posts! :silly: When is the conference anyway? I best check out Wes's site to find out. Post by: METALGOD8 on April 18, 2003, 12:08:00 PM
Clarification... Don, I never sniffed glue. Just wanted to say, thanks. I did take a whiff of amyl nitrate once back when I was 19, and that rush paralyzed my brain for a few minutes, so I never sniffed anything again! Nowadays, I'll admit, I do sort of "like" the smell of that plastic bubble stuff my daughter gets at Walmart. The nitrohydrochloric acid fumes, right when they start forming in my gold mining bucket, smell kinda sweet-like from about 30 feet away. Those are rather deadly though. :smokin: Post by: Don Smith on April 18, 2003, 02:04:00 PM I was merely stating that I too had near death experiences like yourself. Reading it back now perhaps I should've said, Like Metal, I too had near death experiences involving drugs, mine was with glue. Sorry for the mixup. Don Post by: METALGOD8 on April 18, 2003, 03:16:00 PM MG8 :smokin: Post by: Anonymous on April 18, 2003, 04:47:00 PM
Two features of a narcissistic personality are taking advantage of others and a lack of empathy. In entering into a relationship -- especially an intimate one -- with a narcissistic personality you are volunteering for a relationship that potentially lacks caring for you and leaves you vulnerable to any number of problems, from finances to infidelity. The borderline, on the other hand, is terrified of abandonment and is also morbidly inconsistent. So, if you prefer volunteering here for a relationship where you will not necessarily know whom you are dealing with on a day to day, if not hour to hour, basis that may subject you to abuses ranging from finances to fidelity, that?s your prerogative. My reticent opinion. Post by: Carmel on April 19, 2003, 12:55:00 PM Alright then, I have to respect your opinion, since its yours to have...no argument there.....however, I do believe the punishment should fit the crime so to speak in this case Anon! Yeesh! I have to add that I rather prefer to be insulted in a more intellectual manner, it is certainly more to my taste than the less effective "bitch" and "psycho". Now im a narcissist too. Thats excellent! :smile: [ This Message was edited by: Carmel on 2003-04-19 10:00 ] |