Fornits

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Ganja on January 29, 2007, 11:18:31 PM

Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Ganja on January 29, 2007, 11:18:31 PM
They're always lots of fun to abuse!!  ::bwahaha::
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Antigen on January 30, 2007, 02:38:36 AM
http://fornits.com/quotes.php?rno=797 (http://fornits.com/quotes.php?rno=797)

Man, I have got to bring back the signature quotes! I wonder if there's a mod out there to do that. I bet there is.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: exhausted on January 30, 2007, 02:49:35 PM
Be nice, they aren't all lazy toe rags who can't be bothered to bring up their troubled teen - some are desperate, scared and really believe what they are told, I keep saying it, if you're told your kid will die, you're going to do what the experts say is the right thing for them aren't you - it's a little unfair to blame them for wanting to protect their child, it's not unfair to blame them for not doing their research I grant you that...as a parent, the words "Your child is going to die" would be the one thing that would strike terror through my heart
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: hanzomon4 on January 30, 2007, 06:23:23 PM
exhausted, you have a point but that doesn't explain the way parents act when given the truth about these programs. I can show them the tactic types of thought reform, the condemnation of programs by the APA, abuse of other kids in the same or similar facilities and they will stand by their decision finding no fault with it.. this is mostly from post-program parents..

Even st8, INC parents look at their decision as the best thing they ever did, so much so that the former straightlings can't even bring up st8 without getting into an argument with their overly defensive parents. You chose not to ship your kids off to a program once you learned the truth, sad thing is this you're rare.

Most parent will go to the grave believing they made the right decision even if their own kids say otherwise. I don't believe in abusing the parents that come here, but I do understand why they get beat on..
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Anonymous on January 30, 2007, 06:32:50 PM
Quote from: ""exhausted""

it's not unfair to blame them for not doing their research I grant you that...

A mistake is a mistake, blatant disregarding danger warnings is abusive in itself, like you wouldn't let your kid have a sleepover at Michael Jackson's house would you? Why not? he was found not guilty wasn't he? You know don't you
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Anonymous on January 30, 2007, 06:34:06 PM
Hanzomon, that's because those parents are already heavily emotionally invested and can't- literally can't- face the fact that they sent their kid away to be abused.

Pre-program parents on the other hand usually feel an enormous sense of relief that their nagging sensation of doubt was very well-founded and they're not going to do this to their kids. Interestingly enough, reconciliation between parent and child usually happens swiftly after this.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: psy on January 30, 2007, 06:43:01 PM
It's very very rare for parents to come around... hanzo is right.  My mom just figured it out yesterday WOO HOO!!!!!!!!  It's been 5 years already...

Sadly.  That is very very rare.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Anonymous on January 30, 2007, 10:29:24 PM
A worried parent is not a program parent.

A program parent, you are not, exhausted. A worried parent, you are.

Program parents cling to the lie, worried parents might get tricked - but when the truth is shown they admit their mistake.

Program parents are all about them, worried parents are all about their kids.

Need I go on?
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: try another castle on January 31, 2007, 12:04:16 AM
This is probably oversimplifying, but one thing that seems to me to be true for a lot of program parents is that they are more scared OF their kids than they are FOR their kids. The minute the kid starts to do things the parent doesn't understand, or want to understand, that's when things can potentially get nasty. Yeah, gee, sorry I'm not down at the pharmacy drinking a milkshake, mom.

In one of the reviews for Szalavitz's book, the writer speaks to the fact that each generation of teenagers is always believed to be the worst in existence, and will cause the fall of human civilization, yet we're all still here.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Nihilanthic on January 31, 2007, 12:38:15 AM
Amazing, huh.

Parents get attached to having kids... kids are different than adults. Kid starts turning into one, they miss their little baby...

BTW I was the anon post above I just didn't bother to log in.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: try another castle on January 31, 2007, 01:18:36 AM
Something else you mentioned, niles:

Quote
Program parents cling to the lie, worried parents might get tricked - but when the truth is shown they admit their mistake.

Program parents are all about them, worried parents are all about their kids.


This goes with hanzo's quote about the arguments and defensiveness. When the issue is brought up, the program parent immediately places it back onto the survivor, as if their placement is the survivor's fault.

"I had some questions... I wanted to know... Please tell me..." are met with "You were crazy... You were irrational... You were _________... why are  you still thinking about this?"

Granted, there are shades of gray to this. A parent might realize, they made a mistake regarding a certain aspect of their decision. Even my parents said "Had we known you were so unhappy, we would have taken you out." Of course, it's not that simple, since mail and phone calls are censored, and depending on how indoctrinated you were, you could think the place was great.

I find it so damned aggravating that program parents seem to have no problem not asking questions, and appear to be perfectly happy not knowing anything about what is happening to their kid. (Fuck, they'll send a kid away for bipolar and not even bother to check if there are even any shrinks there!) Can't talk to my daughter for six months? Okey dokey, just as long as you can cure her of her drug habit and keep her from  being goth. The next time you see her she is a completely different person. Smiling, happy. Don't you think that's weird? It's only been six fucking months! Nobody does a 180 and becomes a completely different person in six fucking months unless something seriously damaged is going on behind those doors... or, they've replaced her with a pod person. And just you wait, she's got another year and a half to go. She'll be so happy she's shining by the time she gets out.

Oh, we're so proud of you. You turned out just how we wanted.

Selfish.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Anonymous on January 31, 2007, 01:35:20 AM
In my case my mum STILL can't come to terms with it, and it has been well over 30 years.  We can't talk about it at all.  I've come to the conclusion that she is damaged from childhood events in her own life, growing up in Nazi Germany, and can't face the possibility that she was hoodwinked once again.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Nihilanthic on January 31, 2007, 01:46:25 AM
All I know is that very concept fills me with so much contempt and anger its hard to describe.

I can not believe how anyone could do that to another person at all, period, much less their own family... much less thier own child.

And people wonder why program parents get a rough time??? WTF man.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: try another castle on January 31, 2007, 01:53:14 AM
I know, it's hard not to generalize, since they seem to be doing such a good job of generalizing themselves. Isn't there something about how stereotypes exist because there is at least a kernel of truth to it?

I'm loath to use CEDU lingo, (except that the irony amuses me) but they "set this up" for themselves.
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Nihilanthic on January 31, 2007, 02:07:13 AM
The bottom line is seeking an end to your own anxiety at the expense of another person is reprehensible enough, but when a parent does this to a child... and going along with their doubt, second guessing, lack of contact and other shady program rules for SUCH A LONG FUCKING TIME in light of the fact that we go so far out of our way to try to tell them what is going on, it's just the sort of shit you can't wrap you head around.

What sucks the most is wehn you read about shit this bad, you usually have something equally as good and powerful to counter it. We have no superheroes, magic powers, deities blessing us with powers, giant robots or apeshit ninjas to help us, just people like you and me who only seem to have the perception and ability to care enough to do anything becuase we got fucked in our past.

If we could get on the same page and pool our resources we could make shit happen... granted we figured out how to explain this in a few salient bulletpoints without being easily debunked by lon or "doctor" phil. Feh.

Hey, castle, at least some good news if you're still a gamer... http://cgi.4chan.org/f/src/ff6_teaser1.swf (http://cgi.4chan.org/f/src/ff6_teaser1.swf) <- at least kids these days won't have to miss out on something we got to enjoy.

The hacked version is much better though  :lol: Kefka's foul mouth  :rofl:

But oh man, just to have a chance to drop a few -aga spells on a few places...  :rofl:  :flame:
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: Anonymous on January 31, 2007, 02:34:29 AM
Me again, with the mum.

It's tough, cuz I have a younger sister, significantly younger enough to not really have known/understood what was going on when I was going through it, and she is of the personality to totally fit in and go with the program, so my parents never had a "problem" with her (so she never was sent away to one of these mindrape mills).  I think my sister and my mum are of the mind that I am but one hopeless mess, to be tolerated for the sake of the one heir to the family name (my son), but hopeless nonetheless.  No, I can't talk to my sister about this.  She has a successful career as an assistant professor at a prestigous university, and has never been very sympathetic to me, even as a child.  My dad, who was a good and well-meaning sort, passed away several years ago.

At some point I finally got to the point where I have almost pretty much forgiven my mum.  Life is too short, and she is in her 70's.  I would never ever treat my son the way she treated me (corporal punishment, etc.), and I would never ever put him through what I went through in my teenage years.  But then, I have always identified more with the underdog and the nonconformist, even as a youngster.  Perhaps it is this important truth that I must pass on, to maintain an open and critical mind and independent spirit, that would not reach my son save through me and what I have experienced, and perhaps that will make it more liveable for me...
Title: One thing I like about program parents...
Post by: exhausted on January 31, 2007, 04:13:17 AM
Quote from: ""psy""
It's very very rare for parents to come around... hanzo is right.  My mom just figured it out yesterday WOO HOO!!!!!!!!  It's been 5 years already...

Sadly.  That is very very rare.
Good news... :wink: