Post by: Anonymous on January 28, 2007, 04:28:28 PM
He is having trouble at school, and I'm already getting called into meetings. They did a gifted test and he scores at about 150-160. They said he can't relate to peers at all because his conversation level and analytical skills are way above the norm.
But the problem is he is very perfectionistic, has trouble transitioning, is oppositional, and has trouble respecting or listening to authority. (Last week, he threw a chair in frustration and blocks at a TA) He loves one on one time with adults, but is high maintenance in a classroom where you have to transition quickly and conform to standards. He also has sensory integration issues.
It's hard for me because while he is stubborn at home, and resists certain parameters, he is also very helpful and loving to me.
I feel a lot of guilt because from 1-3, he saw his Dad do a lot of crazy things to me, in terms of controlling, abusive behavior. I left--and then he had a stressed out and at times, depressed Mom. There is no way this didn't affect him. At the same time, how do I help heal something that he can't articulate and possibly doesn't remember except on a subconscious level?
His Dad is reformed (born again--which I also hate, but at elast it keeps him from stalking me) and has actually been a very loving, wonderful Dad. They spend alot of time together. (His Dad is still irrational--BPD. But it doesn't seem to affect his parenting.)
My other child is the opposite of my oldest. Easy.
The school wants me to get my son in therapy. I need tools as well because frankly, he outpaces me in terms of sheer force of will and intellect! (Sad but true). They said my son is the most complex case they have, and his intellect makes it more so. (I'm not bragging--I think my more normal-intelligent son is far more content.)
I worry because I know there is a lot of bad therapy. I also don't want my son to be either standardized or conformist. But I do want him to better operate within society.
I guess I'm hoping someone can help advise me either through experience or referral.
Thank you.
Post by: Antigen on January 28, 2007, 08:58:15 PM
Quit thinking of him in such clinical terms and put yourself in his shoes. If he's too smart for the room, and the average kid probably is anyway, then take him out of the room. I highly recommend you take in some of what John Taylor Gatto has to say. Even if you would never, in a million years, consider the possibility of educating your own kid, you can probably still gain valuable insight from an award winning veteran schoolteacher turned historian and critic.
Post by: Anonymous on January 28, 2007, 11:09:13 PM
He has always had major frustration issues, some sensory integration issues, is overly perfectionist, does not transition well, does not do well with change... He was recently diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder; I personally think there are also ADHD and OCD elements there as well, but it may be too early to diagnose these yet. His saying grace is that he is very socially oriented; he really loves other people and other people love him. But yeah, I have had the chair throwing, banging his head against the wall, biting, kicking, screaming, spitting, throwing himself on the sidewalk, and tantrums up the wahzoo. Strangers approach me in the supermarket, clucking sympathetically, "my, but you have a real handful in that one!"
I take it you are in the public school system. You did not mention whether your son is a special needs child. My son is, and I very much rely on his being so in my attempts to tweak the system to make it work as much for him as I can. Even though he is very bright, he gets OT, LD, Counseling (social skills), and Speech therapy each and every week. He has a Behaviour Plan. I know that being in a class with 17 other kids and only 1 teacher and a TA all day is going to drive him nuts, and I value the services of the specialists as much for their specifics as I do for the fact that it is guaranteed time that he gets in a very small group session if not one on one. He would not survive otherwise. I also use that IEP to wave in the face of attempts to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. We live in a fairly progressive community but public school is public school and there is an inherent rigidity and value of conformity in such administrations which is just stifling to free spirits. Without his IEP, they would be far less tolerant of my son's excesses and if that is the way they need to see it to accomodate him, so be it. Personally, I think that all kids his age should be cut such slack, but I can not change the system alone. I have it written into his IEP (I had to reject 2-3 of them before they finally relented) that under no conditions save safety considerations is he to miss recess (typically what they take away for behav consequences). A kid with frustration and sensory issues really needs to run and scream and interact physically with his environment at least once a day. Don't get me started with the once a day issue... And yet I still need to bring it up as his teacher this year has seen fit to try to do it anyway (she calls it acamedic reasons but it's really all about control in my book).
I obtained the services of what they call an "educational advocate", actually I think they change the name from time to time, trying to avoid certain negative associations. This is different from what you read about here on this board re. "educational consultants." I think. Basically the advocate helps you negotiate the morass of making the logistics and the legalities of the special needs educational system work for your child. And it is daunting. My son's advocate trained at the Federation of Special Needs Children in Boston.
When they recommend therapy at this age, it is usually "play therapy", much different ballgame than what you read about on this board.
I highly recommend you check out this website, they also have many links: http://fcsn.org (http://fcsn.org)
Also, my son's OT recommended a touch-pressure brushing program for him to help "organize" some of the sensory frustrations... I think originally it was called a corn silk brush (try Corn Brush #M110 from PDP Products, 12012 N.July Avenue,Hugh MN 55038 <612> old address, best to check first), meant to brush corn silk off cobs of corn. Many teeth, all very soft. You press down HARD while you are brushing (avoid light touch), slow to medium pace... arms, legs, back, hands, feet... not the chest. My son loves it. It seems to help, but I'm not absolutely positive about that. Also joint compression to follow the brushing, and doing heavy work activities during the day if possible. It is the regular, possible-to-anticipate, pressure of the brush that is supposed to help. And as far as the heavy work activities is concerned, it is the physical interaction of his body with his environment that helps to "ground him", so to speak, and help stabilize his emotions.
Hope this helps...
Post by: Anonymous on January 28, 2007, 11:58:36 PM
I strongly recommend that you investigate the possibility of getting an Advocate, at least starting out. In my case, I was unemployed and a friend of a friend knew someone that had just completed her training and was taking on a couple of cases pro bono to start out. This meant that everything took longer (as she continued to confer with her mentor re. everything that was transpiring), but that was just fine with me. My son's IEP needed revamping, it was "anemic to say the least" according to his advocate. Getting the focus onto more sevices and away from his failures with the behav plan was critical for a more positive outlook from his teachers and the school admin, and it resulted in a vastly improved situation for everyone concerned. It is bad for the kid, having everyone think so negatively. The advocate was crucial for educating me how and what to ask for, as well as my and my son's rights, and how to negotiate the multiple rejections of the IEP in a friendly albeit tenacious manner 'till we finally got a version that we could live with. You can not do this alone unless you are an expert. I think even if you are expert, you would not chose to. You need support and feedback from someone in your community that knows these ropes. The public school system in this country will make hamburger out of you.
At one point I considered a private school, but it cost $15,000/yr and in my then unemployed state I thence ceased considering it. But I have also since learned that private schools are not bound by the same federal regulations re. special needs kids and that they would not be required to follow my son's IEP the way a public school has to. There may be some loopholes in that but, for the moment, things seem to be working so I haven't looked too hard. The situation may well change in the future and I may revisit that issue later.
Again, I do not know if your son is a special needs kid. But it sounds like he might be. And if he is, you would do well to make that system work FOR you and your son instead of against you.
I also wanted to add that you really shouldn't beat up on yourself re. less than perfect circumstances in your son's earlier years. This was a time when you had to deal with some very painful changes and, well, Mommy just wasn't at her best all the time. You can tell your son that too; I am sure he would understand it, and it may even help to mitigate against some of his perfectionism. You know, life is a process, and even grownups keep striving to do better. It'll take some of the (self-inflicted) stress off your son that he has to get it right and perfect each and every time. Being more loving and accepting of yourself is what he needs to subconsciously model. Rereading what I just wrote... it sounds terrible, but I know the truth is in there somewhere, I'm just too tired to verbalize it appropriately...
Hang in there, this too shall pass...
::heart:: ::crybaby:: ::heart::
Post by: Antigen on January 29, 2007, 04:13:28 AM
Let me tell you a little bit about the life and times of Chris Smith.
Chris was a brilliant, sensitive, high strung, high energy 9 year old when he left his grandparents home in SW Pa to go live with his mother in So. Florida. Now, this area, even today, is like stepping into a time machine. Nothing could properly prepare a kid like that for the urban jungle that is Broward County public schools. The kid freaked! He was just not accustomed to kids being treated the way to do down there. So he acted like a frightened 9 year old. He barricaded himself under a table and screamed.
I read the assessment report about that incident when this kid was about 19 and moving his stuff into my place after his grandma kicked him out. The assessment read along these lines; exceptionally intelligent, emotionally immature, ADD/ADHD, drug the little fucker!
And so they did. He filled me in on the back story. Every day before school, his mom would hand him his pills, some sort of potent stimulants. They made him a drooling idiot, but he sort of enjoyed the effect; cruising through the day stoned off his rocker.
I had known this kid since he was 16 and my eldest daughter brought him home as a friend. I loved this kid on sight, it was like finding a long lost relative. He was just that cool. More than that, though, even though my daughter went about dating other, less worthy boys for a number of years, even though Chris was stone cold in love with her and this made his life an acid bath, he was always her friend. She could tell him her troubles and secrets--things she wouldn't talk to me about--and Chris always found a way to at least make her laugh and smile if he couldn't make it all better. He loved her selflessly, helplessly and well. That was just his way.
Now it's true that Chris could be a pain in the ass sometimes. Dumb kids are less trouble, I guess. But Chris also had profound respect. In that picture, we'd just moved to the area and stopped to pick him up on the way to Point Park, mostly for the hell of it, but there was some kind of event going on. He was giving my youngest a tour of the garden, explaining things, that was his nature. So long as he didn't perceive an attack, he was just the kindest, most thoughtful and compassionate young man I think I've ever met. He just couldn't stand contradiction and injustice and so he found himself at odds with this fucked up old world a whole lot or the time.
At some point the schoolpeople recommended taking him off the amphetamines cold turkey. Sometime after that, Chris discovered alternate sources for the same fun drugs and more; often enough from granny's medicine cabinet. That's what got him kicked out of her house that last time, pilfering her private pharamacopia to self medicate imacted wisdom teeth because he couldn't afford the surgery and grandma and gramps wouldn't spring for it.
That was his eventual undoing, I think. Never did get any official word back, never sought it either. But the commonly accepted story is that he had a pocket full of methadone pilfered from his grandma's safe and he took those all at once. He should have known better. I think he did know better. That thought will torment me forever.
Two days later, his grandmother asked me for pictures. The only one they had for the viewing was Chris' drivers' license photo. We had plenty, so I picked one, added the dates, printed it out 8x10 and framed it.
I first met Chris' mother at her parents' house on the way to his viewing. She offered me a xanex. She offered everyone a xanex. she was doling them out like party favors. Almost everyone gratefully accpted. Later, at the surreal viewing, all the anesthatized elder relatives consoled themselves literally over his poorly dressed dead body, by blaming his drug habit and drugs in general for the tragedy. Somebody offered me a xanex. I passed. Later, at the chapel service at Roundhill cemetary and petting zoo (I shit you not!) the DARE cop turned up in uniform. All of Chris' friends had taken seats on the right while we sat with his family on the left. That had been a mistake and I realized it as this sanctimonious, however well intended, fucking pig took advantage of this best beloved boy's funeral to spam his drugwar propaganda and to openly threaten his dearest friends with stepped up pressure and harassment.
I almost puked! The good father asked if anyone else had anything to say. My daughter stood up and read partially from a prepared statement, partly ad-lib. I remember having been very inspired and very proud. I wish I could remember exactlywhat she said. I was just proud that she stepped up. I was not in a civil mood to do that atm. I was pissed off! I LOVED this boy! And here were these assholes trying to use his death to mollify their own consciences and/or further their own cause! If I had taken the podium then, I might just have alienated everyone in the room and nothing more. Vicki did me proud that day, she just told the crowd all that was righteous and true about Chris and what he meant to her, tacitly countering the DARE cop's dim and banefully limited view of Chris' too short life.
Vicki has amazed me, pulling off feats of compassion and understanding well beyond my ken. I am proud. I don't know how it happened, I believe it happened in spite of me. But it happened of my loins, and I am a proud mama! And she brought me Chris. And we couldn't save him or me because we were obtuse.
Post by: try another castle on January 29, 2007, 04:44:45 AM
Post by: Nihilanthic on January 29, 2007, 04:53:47 AM
And in spite of that, he was a pretty decent guy, I hear. I never had a chance to meet him, and I deeply regret that. For that matter, I think other people do too.
I'm in similar shoes to those he wore, though thankfully I didn't have a insane or easily manipulated mother. I had a clingy one who tried her best but despite that was still somewhat manipulated - but to her credit she fought with school officials and my own father on several occasions doing the best for me she knew how to do.
I got myself off the fucking drugs in my teens (SSRIs... I was on Ritalin in like, 3rd grade... and was pulled off for how hyper it made me!) and that was probably in hindsight one of the most mature and good decisions I ever made.
I'm not out to steal the stage so I won't. I'll just say schools bullshit, and the stupid head-meds fucked me up good and everything I learned was in spite of school, and school is more about "schooling" than an actual fucking education! I'm still socially messed up in some ways because of it. Blah!
To the OP - funny how us smart kids end up so pissed off and difficult, huh?
Know what the problem is?
NOT HIM.
THE FUCKING SCHOOL SYSTEM AND SOCIETY ITSELF IS WHAT IS WRONG.
If you have been on fornits for any time at all I'm sure you know why me and my kin are so full of vitriol and "toxic emotions". We got fucked in one way or another by this nonsense and we hate seeing it happen to other people, especially when it is because of their own parents.
Am I out blaming you or saying you are that bad? NO! You're not asking for an easy button and a program, nor are there any for 6 year olds at any rate... AFAIK. God I hope not.... :flame:
But I would say therapy for him, on his terms, with an actual psychologist, an actual therapist, no nutty new age bullshit, no coercion, would help. It helped me... mostly because I got to talk to an adult who talked to me as an equal being instead of a little child-peon-creature.
Childhood can't be institutionalized for the sake of politics and ease of the teachers. He has a mind that should be nurtured and developed (if someone says emotional growth so help me GOD...) and allowed to do what it wants to do. Mine was utterly, completely wasted in my childhood and teens. I should have gone to college before my teens... but oh well! I'll just play catchup and if I ever find out how to want anything for myself, I'll go do for myself.
Right now all I do is for others and out of my own messed up past look out for those who have bad childhoods and have a lot of anger to those who mess them up for others. It's why I'm here, now.
RIP, Chris. We got the message... I just hope society does too before its too late for too many other people.
OP, I think you do too. All I can say is "parenting is not easy" and remember who it is about - him. And, don't let anyone manipulate your worry for him into hurting him so they can make money at his expense, please. The last thing anyone wants is him to show up here in ten years.
Post by: Nihilanthic on January 29, 2007, 04:55:28 AM
Quote from: ""try another castle""
Fuck that DARE cop! How is that any fucking different than the reverend Fred Phelps coming with his obnoxious posse to a funeral for someone who was gay and protesting about how homosexuality is a sin?
He probably hopped a plane from Drugwariduh to give his little fire and brimstone speech just like Phelps?
Er, wait, I'm not helping... sorry.
Post by: Anonymous on January 29, 2007, 01:39:44 PM
Don't let the school system beat you down into feeling that there is something "wrong" with him or your parenting. Some of us just take longer to find our way. And some of us just have more on our plate to work through. If they want to put a label on him and offer you more services, I would say go for it, but stay away from things that he can't walk away from of his own free will (i.e., the drugs). Play therapy (with the parent present) is supposed to be very nurturing for some children, and it'll give your son more one-on-one, which he needs.
It is very very very important to respect your child's spirit. Your son has already made it clear that he is very vested in life, that he is trying to understand it on HIS terms, and that he has some very strong feelings and ideas about that. So life ain't gonna be easy for you for awhile. But you should be proud, and let him know that.
Post by: shanlea on January 29, 2007, 04:47:18 PM
Thank you for all your contributions to this topic.
Post by: Oz girl on January 29, 2007, 05:01:22 PM
Here are some links to organisations which work with giften children
http//www.nagc.org
http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/ (http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/)
http://www.cec.sped.org//AM/Template.cf ... cb530166fb (http://www.cec.sped.org//AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&WebsiteKey=ccc2b576-80bf-48af-8827-0acb530166fb)
http://www.giftedservices.com.au/children.html (http://www.giftedservices.com.au/children.html)
The first one has a map that you can click for good local services
Good luck.
Post by: Antigen on January 30, 2007, 01:21:37 AM
Quote from: ""shanlea""
I made the original post. I love my son.The school can go to hell if they ever recommend drugging him. He's 6! I think he's special, and unique and great, and have no plan to standardize him. I am hoping to give him a few tools to navigate better socially,and a lot of those have to do with me being more patient, and giving him coping mechanisms. I will come up with strategies--but they won't include meds OR killing his spirit.
Thank you for all your contributions to this topic.
Wow, that was you? Never would have guessed. Wasn't thinking of the question from that perspective at all, either. Maybe it would be better to have him read some Gatto. He does a fine job of deconstructing the system and mindset from an historic pov. It's just slight of mind, after all. If you understand how it works that makes it much less effective.
Post by: AtomicAnt on February 01, 2007, 09:46:17 PM
My son was tossed out of about 12 different day care situations and two kindergardens. The school (first kindergarden) insisted on a CST. They found nothing really wrong and labeled him, 'emotionally disturbed.' They approved him special schools. Teachers and others labeled him as ADHD or ODD.
His mom (my ex) refused to cooperate and simply changed schools. The second kindergarden was an inclusion class. His teachers (the class had two) said he did not belong there. At first, I thought she simply would not admit there was a problem. With the benefit of hindsight, I think she was right.
My son went to private school for first grade. They also insisted on a CST. At the meeting, one tester said my boy was the smartest kid he ever worked with. He said pinpointing his IQ was difficult because he refused to answer test questions that were 'for babies' (too easy). So the tester could only estimate his IQ (high) based on the questions answered and feels his estimate was low. They basically concluded there was nothing wrong with him, but kept the 'emotionally disturbed' label so he qualified to get some help. A woman from the State worked with him twice a week to help him with language and communication skills. I think being able to articulate better helped a lot.
My wife and I were at odds about parenting. She wanted to 'crack the whip' and follow a child psychologist's behavior modification system of points (at home folks, relax).
I called the psychologist a quack and refused to get on board. My statement was fix the boys emotional state and the behavior would automatically follow. I felt that our divorce, coupled with too many day care changes caused him to become angry.
So, I went a complete no punishment route and used only positive reinforcement and redirection. More importantly, I made it a point to engage my son at his level and do things he chose to do. We became much closer.
It worked and worked fast. He went through third grade with straight As and is doing fine in fourth grade. All the anger and behavior stuff just went away. I haven't punished him in three years. I haven't needed to.
He is still a handful. He is opinionated, stubborn, smart, and assertive. He takes after his parents :) He gets into the normal amount of trouble one would expect from a willful ten-year-old. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Post by: Nihilanthic on February 02, 2007, 12:31:38 AM
Hey, go post that on ST... I bet lon will ban you so hard Ginger will have to unban you from FORNITS :rofl:
Post by: Anonymous on February 02, 2007, 12:49:13 AM
Quote from: ""AtomicAnt""
I had similar problems with my son and almost made the mistake of letting the system tell me what to do about it.
My son was tossed out of about 12 different day care situations and two kindergardens. The school (first kindergarden) insisted on a CST. They found nothing really wrong and labeled him, 'emotionally disturbed.' They approved him special schools. Teachers and others labeled him as ADHD or ODD.
His mom (my ex) refused to cooperate and simply changed schools. The second kindergarden was an inclusion class. His teachers (the class had two) said he did not belong there. At first, I thought she simply would not admit there was a problem. With the benefit of hindsight, I think she was right.
My son went to private school for first grade. They also insisted on a CST. At the meeting, one tester said my boy was the smartest kid he ever worked with. He said pinpointing his IQ was difficult because he refused to answer test questions that were 'for babies' (too easy). So the tester could only estimate his IQ (high) based on the questions answered and feels his estimate was low. They basically concluded there was nothing wrong with him, but kept the 'emotionally disturbed' label so he qualified to get some help. A woman from the State worked with him twice a week to help him with language and communication skills. I think being able to articulate better helped a lot.
My wife and I were at odds about parenting. She wanted to 'crack the whip' and follow a child psychologist's behavior modification system of points (at home folks, relax).
I called the psychologist a quack and refused to get on board. My statement was fix the boys emotional state and the behavior would automatically follow. I felt that our divorce, coupled with too many day care changes caused him to become angry.
So, I went a complete no punishment route and used only positive reinforcement and redirection. More importantly, I made it a point to engage my son at his level and do things he chose to do. We became much closer.
It worked and worked fast. He went through third grade with straight As and is doing fine in fourth grade. All the anger and behavior stuff just went away. I haven't punished him in three years. I haven't needed to.
He is still a handful. He is opinionated, stubborn, smart, and assertive. He takes after his parents :) He gets into the normal amount of trouble one would expect from a willful ten-year-old. I wouldn't want it any other way.
your son is so very lucky to have you as his Father!
Post by: Infinity on February 16, 2007, 11:44:29 PM
Transitions... insistence on order... Boy that sounds familiar. Making it easy on him by making life predictable (including the rules you have for him--write them down, make them completely dependable!) seems like the best way to go here. And making sure his brain has something interesting to work on rather than getting him into trouble all the time.
Teaching him to control himself is way better than getting anybody else to "handle" him. Such things are pointless and border on abuse half the time, what with people holding him down or drugging him up or any number of things to make him fit into their little perfectly organized classrooms.
Heck, bribe him to keep calm if you have to... it works. Punishment just isn't the way to help someone learn, take it from someone it was tried on!
There's no way he'll ever get over his tantrums if he doesn't learn it on his own. When I was that age I had tantrums like crazy; and the best way to let me calm down was to just stop interfering... I'd calm down on my own. Of course teachers want to interfere, which gets him even more riled up.
Can you home-school him? Sure it's more work, and you've got to make sure he has friends available... but keeping him away from clueless (and dumbed-down) school programs could be a plus, especially for the next few years.
Check this out:
Aspies for Freedom (http://http://www.aspiesforfreedom.com)
Post by: Antigen on February 16, 2007, 11:55:43 PM
Post by: mbnh31782 on February 17, 2007, 09:18:59 PM
Post by: Nihilanthic on February 19, 2007, 11:57:53 PM
At any rate, when I get my instate residency here, I'm definitely going back and getting a degree.
Post by: Anonymous on June 07, 2007, 09:06:15 PM
An evaluation was completed and surprise, surprise, they did not try and label him ADD or ODD. They are not advocating any drug therapy, but a program to adapt to auditory, visual, and spatial stimuli. The "diagnosis" gifted intelligence with sensory integration issues. Environmental cues that don't bother the average person are exceptionally distracting/overwhelming to him.
In spite of his intellect and depth, they want to put him in special ed because for the small class size, saying he will get more out of it, will acquire coping mechanisms, and actually advance intellectually because he will have fewer distractions in a small group setting.
The other issue is socialization. Jack is a very deep thinker. He's not really fulfilled in a standardized environment, with its attendant shallowness. In a large group setting, he hangs back... With older kids, adults, or highly intelligent kids, he shines.
The school says that Jack is not regarded as a "weirdo" or oddball by the kids at all.... But he's disinterested in most kids... he prefers adults... when I visit his school, kids come up to him, and he seems indifferent in most cases.
I really wish I could afford private school, or homeschooling... but I can't.
I'm just so frustrated because I feel the SPED classroom will remove him from his few best friends, and label him. The school did say they will not railroad me into this, but they do take a lot of time catering to Jack's needs in the classroom, at the expense of the other students. At this point, for example, Jack sits at his desk when everyone is in a group. (I kinda, think, who the hell cares? But they want that conformity.)
The other thing, too, is that Jack went through a lot, as I mentioned with the divorce. His guidance counselor just told me today that Jack told him he remembers me being yelled at and hurt. He actually said he is worried he will do the same thing to me. I don't know why, but that really broke me today. All that was over a few years ago... and he is very loving and affectionate to me. I'll never be able to make up for the things he saw.
I know things are better because he is happy/comfortable at home the vast majority of the time. He doesn't act out at home the way he did before I created a safe emotional space. We're very silly and fun, and I try to provide him with appropriate intellectual outlets.
I just worry because I will never be able to make up for the things he saw/heard...the things he can't articulate... that sense of fear as a baby and toddler when your mother is being dragged around as she's holding him.... among other things. By the Dad who he loves very much.
About the only thing I can say for sure is that I know he knows that I love him very much.... I tell him every day. (My parents could never utter those three little words comfortably...and I was always worried I'd be the same way.) And I know he knows I think its ok to be different, and an independent thinker and smart and free spirited.
I am supposed to attend the formal evaluation and IEP meeting shortly. I was recommended that I get him some therapy... But I am very leery of... everything. I don't want him to perceive himself as broken.
The thing I respect most about Jack is that he questions everything... and I don't want to stifle that ever. Even though I sometimes think shallow people are happier.
This isn't really the most coherent post. But I welcome constructive feedback.
Post by: Ursus on June 08, 2007, 01:56:28 AM
That said, a lot still depends on whether you can afford it and how feasible it is given other constraints in your life. You probably need to weigh everything as a whole.
I'm not sure how I feel about the Special Ed class. I guess a lot depends on the other kids in it, believe it or not. The point re. the class size is most valid. However, I would concur with your concerns re. his current social network in the regular class. I also think that the so-called disruption your son currently appears to pose will abate as time goes on, and that perhaps the safest position to take might be to put the Special Ed class recommendation on hold for the moment, and see if that issue is still on the table (from the school's pov) in a year's time.
Post by: Oz girl on July 02, 2011, 07:09:20 PM
i think if the kid is not unhappy socially in this class with his little friends then this is an important consideration. My happiest school experiences were social. You mentioned private school not being an option finanically. It may be worth looking into scholarship programs down the track which may open up this option to you further. Particularly for highschool.
Another option is to look at co curricular options for your boy. Chess, music lessons, art or foreign language classes. While these things do cost money they are cheaper than private schools. Also chess is something you can play with him at home till you look at the cost of classes. See what sort of activities your local YMCA and scouting associations offer. Sometimes organisations like this offer great activities for a reasonably low cost.
if the kid is not violent i would also not panic about whether he is the collest kid in school. It seems that schools really focus a lot of energy on whether a kid is the class "weird guy" or not. Not everyone in the world is an extrovert. Such is life
http://www.chessclub.com/resources/club ... ry_US.html (http://www.chessclub.com/resources/club_directory/club_directory_US.html)
http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_arts.html (http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_arts.html)
http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_teens.html (http://www.ymca.net/programs/programs_for_teens.html)
http://www.scouting.org/nav/enter.jsp?s=cp (http://www.scouting.org/nav/enter.jsp?s=cp)