Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on January 27, 2007, 09:30:40 PM
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Parents[/b] these days are on the edge. One day they can be living a seemingly normal life, the next they are caught up with negative peer groups, doing drugs, getting arrested and ultimately pay with their lives, and die with a needle in their arm of a drug overdose. [/color]
If you don't want this to happen to your parent, take this simple test, and see if they are at risk.
Do not take this lightly, it could very well save your family member's life![/b]
Answer each question yes or no and follow the instructions after the quiz.
Questions:
1. Does your parent drink alcohol, on occasion or daily?
2. Does one or both of your parents swear, or use God's name in vain?
3. Have either of your parents missed one or more days of work over the previous five years?
4. Do you notice your parents taking naps, or sleeping at odd hours?
5. Is one or both of your parents staying out late, not calling home and bringing home new friends?
6. Are they dressing differently, doing their hair differently, acting strange in general?
7. Do they attend strange ritualistic group meetings that do not fit with your family profile?
8. Have you found dirty dishes and the trash overflowing in the morning, suggesting your parents are staying up late with unnapproved visitors?
9. Do your parents have dinner parties, or invite their friends over often?
10. Do your parents listen to strange music?
Add up the amount of question to which you answered yes.
1-3[/size][/color] IMMEDIATE RISK
If you answered "yes" to any question, your parent is at immediate risk of falling into a negative spiral that will only end in death and destruction for them and anyone around them. Take action immediately to avoid this common, yet rarely planned for event.
4-6[/size][/color] DANGEROUS RISK
Your parents are at a particularly high risk of ending up on the street with a needle in their arm with recently used butt beads shoved into their mouth, for not paying off their smack debt. It is essential you contact a program and have your parent placed immediately to prevent this common outcome from occuring once again to yet another family.
7-10[/size][/color] GRAVE DANGER
Your parent is going to be dead in a couple days. You are a horrible person for not doing anything already, but it's not too late. Call a private thug business and have your parents shipped away, locked in a room, force fed mass amounts of pharmaceuticals, tied down and brainwashed to not ever repeat the behavior patterns that led to the intervention again.
this is in no way an authorized test. this is only intended for humurous intent and i am in no way being serious. this is a joke and if you take this seriously you are an idiot. if you send your parent to me i will still take your money but not take your parent. if you want to send me money i will accept it and not protest. this is only a joke. but so are you if you read this, you are a fucking joke. okay maybe you arent, maybe i am instead. can you tell me a joke and make me laugh. i am pretty sad and could use cheering up. [/size]
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Well Done!
::cheers:: ::bigsmilebounce:: ::drummer:: ::kiss:: ::rocker:: ::bandit:: :tup: :smokin:
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OH MY GOD.. they need help... really really badly..... Oh please help me mister ed-con man.... Save their lives... PM me and we can set up the escorts.. please tell me if you need chloroform, duct tape, and/or a frying pan.
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Cast Iron or Aluminum with a nice teflon coating?
Cast Iron.. Is that OK?
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Rocky River Springs Retreat for Parents [/color]
(http://http://www.winsteadcg.com/images/hm_right_image.jpg)
Fulfill your potential! Live your dreams!
Don't take my word for it, here's what former clients have to say![/color]
Dear Rocky River Springs staff, Thank you for doing such a great job with my father. I know that he is learning much as I have. It?s a true shame the majority of our population do not see the benefit of self-help and motivational seminars. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for y our dedication to making the world a better place.
Sincerely, Scott
(http://http://www.sodexho.ucdavis.edu/images/employment/young_guy.jpg)
Dear Kathy and Staff, I appreciate everything you do for all of these parents. I know it means so much not only to their kids or grandkids but also to them too, even if they don't realize it at first. My mother told me that she was glad she got sent up there because she was not happy with her life, and it was nice to be able to change. It also means a lot to me because not I get to go through all these great seminars that make me feel like such a better person inside. I thank you greatly. Sincerely,
Alan
(http://http://www.health.auckland.ac.nz/anaesthesiology/staff/G%20Warman/guy.jpeg)
Don't hesitate one moment further, calls us today! 1-800-420-4EVR
[/size][/color]
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i think i broke something laughing... Brilliant. Even got the eagle... perfect. just perfect..
At benchmark their logo was this Eagle they called the Benchmark Eagle... They made the kids design a whole bunch of em for a competition (cheaper than a shitty graphic designer)... don't think they liked mine with the bloodshot eyes and the needle stuck in the ass.
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=-- Don't forget about our sister program --=/[/color]
(http://http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/content/images/2005/10/06/bbowt_conference_lead_203x152.jpg)
Out exploring the local flora and fauna!
Thank you for interest in B.T.T.S. - A Wilderness Experience - the industry's most sophisticated parent wilderness program. At Back to the Sticks we provide insight, direction and hope to troubled parents and their families. As the skilled life coaches and other staff members help your parent discover the reasons behind his/her actions, your parent becomes a student of self. She/he can then make healthy choices concerning the future.
We understand that many children are not sure where they can go for help. We have an entire staff of unqualified individuals who will provide solutions to your questions about your troubled parent, his/her needs, and your own needs.
We congratulate you on taking the first step to help your parent. By seeking out information about a program, you could literally change your parent's life as well as your own. BTTS offers a variety of troubled parent programs. Now that you have already begun the process of getting help, we can assist you in the next step, which is to enroll your parent in a recovery program.
(http://http://www.lakeside.sutterhealth.org/images/229/Group%20hiking229.jpg)
Satisfied after making camp and learning to make fire with shoestrings!
Our trained staff will work closely with your parent to ensure his/her success. Please contact us with any questions you might have. We look forward to giving your parent the help he/she deserves. [/color]
(http://http://www.natron.net/omarunga-camp/photos/pic13.jpg)
Some of the locals we encounter - don't get too close, they bite!
[/color]
Financial Concerns: We know many parents do not have all the necessary funds upfront and that is why we offer a reasonable payment plan, with zero percent interest. We also offer, and encourage you to recruit other kids to the program, for which you will receive a free treatment session for your parent. You can help other families and keep costs down, it's a win/win![/color][/b]
(http://http://www.miaminights.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/old-bum-middle-fingers.jpg)
One of our clients who left early without finishing - see how angry he is he didn't get to finish his program?
Do not let this happen to your parent!
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somebody should create a website for these. shit is hilarious.
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http://http://www.madnessmansion.com/sounds/laugh.wav
Exordium & Terminus
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Satisfied after making camp and learning to make fire with shoestrings!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Soar like an eagle, bitches.
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Spreadeagled? :o
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I was thinking more along the lines of the Blood Eagle (http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle)
Gotta love them Vikings.
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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This is too funny, they should set up places for parents who can't cope with their teens and send them away to learn how it's done
JSYK - I took the test and I died 6000 times over the last 30 years :o
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Concerned your parent will not go willingly?[/size][/color]
Happy Family Transport Service [/color]
(http://http://soc.kuleuven.be/sw/onderwijs/pol/macsp/Media/Alumni0405Pictures/blindfolded%20jacques.jpg)
One of our trained experts leading a happy client's problem parent away, on his way to start a better life.
(http://http://www.transportation.cornell.edu/images/Van3a.jpg)
Our newly upgraded van, bring your friends, we can fit them all!
(http://http://www.clan-panthera.com/images/swat4/armes/taser.png)
We use the latest in NON LETHAL restraining technology to reduce stress and gain control over the situation before things get out of hand. This reduces physical contact, and establishes an aura of control of which the parent must become accustomed to in order to make treatment effective and long lasting. We provide discreet service early in the morning, if you wish to not be present, we understand and will do our best to provide a non confrontational situation using the element of surprise.
Call Today -- 1-800-DAD-NAPS -- 1-800-MOM-NAPS[/color][/list]
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Good lord, I really shouldn't be laughing at this as much as I am, but I am. :rofl:
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I'm caling sexual discrimination on this, mums and dads should be able to go in the same vans - as long as they don't look at each other 8-)
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I'm caling sexual discrimination on this, mums and dads should be able to go in the same vans - as long as they don't look at each other 8-)
Looking at each ofter won't be a problem, if the marriage has lasted for plus 10 years.
We have to give up our waterbed. The coldness from my wife made the bed give some cracking sounds when I sat down in it. Also ice can very hard on your back.
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=-- Don't forget about our sister program --=/[/color]
(http://http://www.bbc.co.uk/oxford/content/images/2005/10/06/bbowt_conference_lead_203x152.jpg)
Out exploring the local flora and fauna!
Thank you for interest in B.T.T.S. - A Wilderness Experience - the industry's most sophisticated parent wilderness program. At Back to the Sticks we provide insight, direction and hope to troubled parents and their families. As the skilled life coaches and other staff members help your parent discover the reasons behind his/her actions, your parent becomes a student of self. She/he can then make healthy choices concerning the future.
We understand that many children are not sure where they can go for help. We have an entire staff of unqualified individuals who will provide solutions to your questions about your troubled parent, his/her needs, and your own needs.
We congratulate you on taking the first step to help your parent. By seeking out information about a program, you could literally change your parent's life as well as your own. BTTS offers a variety of troubled parent programs. Now that you have already begun the process of getting help, we can assist you in the next step, which is to enroll your parent in a recovery program.
(http://http://www.lakeside.sutterhealth.org/images/229/Group%20hiking229.jpg)
Satisfied after making camp and learning to make fire with shoestrings!
Our trained staff will work closely with your parent to ensure his/her success. Please contact us with any questions you might have. We look forward to giving your parent the help he/she deserves. [/color]
(http://http://www.natron.net/omarunga-camp/photos/pic13.jpg)
Some of the locals we encounter - don't get too close, they bite!
[/color]
Financial Concerns: We know many parents do not have all the necessary funds upfront and that is why we offer a reasonable payment plan, with zero percent interest. We also offer, and encourage you to recruit other kids to the program, for which you will receive a free treatment session for your parent. You can help other families and keep costs down, it's a win/win![/color][/b]
(http://http://www.miaminights.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/old-bum-middle-fingers.jpg)
One of our clients who left early without finishing - see how angry he is he didn't get to finish his program?
Do not let this happen to your parent!
"Back to the Sticks..." I like it.
Here's a motto for you:
"Sticks and stones may break your bones, but our recently paroled staff will fuck you up permanent like!"
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Great additions to the Stepford Better Wives Program- since 2003.....
You?re having your morning coffee, chatting with a friend and arranging to meet the girls for lunch over at the club, when in bursts 2 brutes and haul you away. They assure you that the hand cuffs, mace, and duck tape won?t be used unless you make it necessary. Hubby meets you at the door, give you a peck on the cheek, and says he?s sorry, but it?s for your own good. As you later discover, hubby is fed up with your lazy, oppositional, lying, manipulating extravagant ass. He claims that YOU are the problem. He is desperate and has had you incarcerated in the Stepford Better Wife Program without the benefit of due process.
Taking a bit of ?responsibility?, he will take the Better Husband Seminars so he can better keep you in line if/when the time comes that you?ve proven you can be the cooperative wife he expects you to be.
While incarcerated one might think that she would participate in home ec type courses- How to starch and iron his shirts, How to cook a gourmet meal in 20 minutes on a budget, How to be a thrifty shopper, How to satisfy your man?s needs?.. Unfortunately, the Stepford Better Wives Program is not about learning skills, learning how to communicate, negotiate, and compromise. No, it is designed to ensure that you will learn and accept your limited role and say, in decisions that affect your life.
You will not be allowed to speak to other wives or do simple things like look out the window. Every moment will be focused on YOU becoming a better wife. No more coffee and chocolate, or shopping sprees at the mall. No more romance novels either, only back issues of Better Homes and Gardens. You?ll be allowed a quick shower once a week and may or may not have access to feminine hygiene products- that is if you still menstruate. You will have no contact with the outside world- particularly to attorneys or human rights organizations. No, you?re stuck. Instead your days will fall into monotonous routine of journaling what a terrible wife you have been, what you did to get yourself incarcerated, ways you could improve and viewing selected Better Wife videos and reruns of Leave it to Beaver, The Brady Bunch, and Father Knows Best. There will be daily sermons from the Book of Paul on how women can be subject to their men in 2003- should be very informative. No more gourmet meals at your favorite restaurant. No, for how ever long it takes for you to ?get it?, to ?work the program?, you will be earning the privilege of adequate nutrition. No more tennis lessons from the hunk at the club. No more tanning booths and acrylic nails. In fact, acrylic nails are viewed as weapons and will be ripped off one by one. SBWP aims to put you back in touch with what?s really important. Back to the basics, as it were.
Inmates of the SBWP should expect to endure some physical pain, as that seems to be the "only way that some women can get it?. Expect to lie in the same position for hours, days on end- Not anything like the yoga class you took at the club. It is a consequence for your transgressions. If you crack and lash out, someone will be there to restrain you, protecting you and others from your ?inappropriate? reaction to your ?treatment?.
While incarcerated in the SBWP, hubby and Jr will be living it up and writing to tell you of their trips to exotic destinations. Hubby can afford this now that he isn?t paying your outrageous credit card bills, plus he signed up 4 new hubbies to ship their wives off too. Free of your nagging, expensive ass, he has the time and money to enjoy himself again.
Staff will see to it that you are unable to report inhumane treatment. Hubby will be told to ignore your complaints- just more of your whining, manipulative lying, which could worsen around PMS.
Don?t be alarmed- in time you will learn that this is ?in your best interest?, ?for your own good?. Very early on you will ?get it? that your attempts to expose the truth will fall on deaf ears. May as well surrender to the program. After all, you really don?t have any other option, do you?
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We kids of The Who, CCM Girl and Karen in Dallas are ready!! Got the second mortgage papers signed and raided the IRA's.
Thank god there is professional help out there. Its about time!!!! ::nod::
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Deborah, do the classes at that program include pole dancing? Where can i get more info?
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Deborah, do the classes at that program include pole dancing? Where can i get more info?
Most def... you get to design the software you want your sweetie to be programmed with. Your wish... is BSWP's demand.