Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Britt15 on March 10, 2003, 07:25:00 PM
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Hi- if there is anyone who was ever a student/parent or anyone who has any information on the family school in new york please let me know, it would be greatly appreciated. I have already heard many disturbing things about the school but i need more! Someone extreamly close to was just sent there, who i know does not belong there and im so worried about his emotional health and spirit!And it would be really nice to be able to talk to someone who has had some kind of first-hand eperience with the school. PLEASE HELP ME! thanks so much!
sweethang1431@aol.com
Britt :scared:
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It's a f***ed up place. I was there for 5 weeks. My parents refused to take me out. I had to finally punch thru a window before they let me see a shrink who overrode the school and my parents and I finally left.
They attempt to belittle and humiliate the students into submission. I remember this one poor girl, they forcer her to eat meat (she was a vegatarian). Their rule was, everyone eats the same thing, same portions, if you don't like it they keep serving it over and over until you eat it. I stop eating for a day or so but didn't have the discipline to resist further.
That's just one story of many.
- Narz (anthonarz@yahoo.com)
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Hey;
I read your recent post on the Fornits message board regarding the Family Foundation School. A teenage friend of mine recently was sent there, she managed to escape Friday March 6th and get down to one of the houses down Chapel Hill Road where she contacted us. No one knew where she was until that point; she sounded in pretty bad shape. Please get back to me; I would love to hear one of those many other stories you may have; I need to find out everything about this place; looked like a real dump. I have a masters in Dev. Psych from Boston College, and I am completely appalled by the bullshit for-profit teen help industry, which is basically the mental hospitals of ten years ago, destroying kid's lives for the corporate dollar. My friend said she would not be able to survive living 15 months in a basement. You can contact me at desi115@yahoo.com (http://mailto:desi115@yahoo.com).
Raj
New York City
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Recent Sad Events at the Family School
Press Release
Contact: Sidney Parham 845-887-5213
Hancock, NY
(March 4, 2004) At approximately 8:20 a.m. on March 4, 2004, a male student jumped from a second story balcony at the Family Foundation School outside of Hancock, New York. Within minutes trained school staff began CPR. He was transported by ambulance to Delaware Valley Hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival.
The 17-year-old from Virginia had been at this emotional growth school for just two weeks. After a difficult first four days, the student seemed to be adjusting to his life at the school. On Wednesday during group counseling, he confessed to having had suicidal thoughts and was subsequently seen by a staff Clinical Social Worker. During this interview, the student indicated he had no plan to commit suicide or harm himself in any way, said he felt better after talking with the social worker. However, senior administration at the school maintained it was standard practice for such situations to continue monitoring the student for any changes that might indicate an imminent crisis. The initial investigation revealed no precipitating incident leading up to this tragedy and no suicide note was found.
New York State Police and the Delaware County Sheriff?s Investigative units were both on the scene, but an official determination has not been made yet.
Religious and spiritual advisors who regularly work with the students and the Delaware County Critical Stress Management Team, are on campus to assist both staff and students in coping with the shock and grief of this death.
At this unfortunate time in the Family Foundation?s 17-year history of guiding at risk teenagers into responsible adulthood, our primary focus is now on helping the family and friends of this child as well as the other students at the school.
Woodbury Reports, Inc. | 7119 2nd St | PO Box 1107 | Bonners Ferry, ID 83805 | 208-267-5550
Copyright © 1995-2004 by Woodbury Reports Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy
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On 2004-03-10 02:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hey;
I read your recent post on the Fornits message board regarding the Family Foundation School. A teenage friend of mine recently was sent there, she managed to escape Friday March 6th and get down to one of the houses down Chapel Hill Road where she contacted us. No one knew where she was until that point; she sounded in pretty bad shape. Please get back to me; I would love to hear one of those many other stories you may have; I need to find out everything about this place; looked like a real dump. I have a masters in Dev. Psych from Boston College, and I am completely appalled by the bullshit for-profit teen help industry, which is basically the mental hospitals of ten years ago, destroying kid's lives for the corporate dollar. My friend said she would not be able to survive living 15 months in a basement. You can contact me at desi115@yahoo.com (http://mailto:desi115@yahoo.com).
Raj
New York City"
Well, thank God for you, Sir. At last, another person with some training in the field who's noticing these places and seeing them for the throwbacks to the bad days of psychology that they are.
I've only got a bachelors in psychology, so I've got enough training to see how screwed up their private prison approach is, and how terribly bad for *any* person with a major mental illness that environment would be, but I don't have the expert credentials to stand up and kick some butt by bringing the places to the attention of all the responsible, licensed clinical psychologists and licensed psychiatrists out there.
I truly believe that if a large enough percentage of the licensed professionals out there knew about these places, they could get the laws changed and get the ones that can be made to change reformed and the ones that won't change shut down.
So please, get out in the professional community and spread the word----get every professional you can to take a hard look at these places.
My god, they're like the medicine show wagons with the patent medicines.
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:wstupid: bravo
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Wow. In the span of one thread I went from wanting to throw up at the thought of another kid feeling that desperate, to having some of my faith in humanity restored by Raj.
:nworthy: Cops; you wake `em up you gotta dance with `em. They lead.
-- Jack McNulty
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Raj - It would help to know how your friend's parents heard of the Family Foundation School, e.g. Educational Consultant, Independent Referral Agent, Another Parent, Court Ordered PLacement,etc.
Unfortunately, many parents rely upon the recommendation of persons who profit from referring children into residential treatment programs -- regardless of whether the child *needs* treatment or not.
This sub-cottage industry is self-regulated and completely out-of-control. Anybody can set up a website, call themselves a "professional" and lure parents into institutionalizing their kids under the guise of helping troubled teens before they are "dead-or-in-jail"
A note: Educational consultants are paid by parents, independent referral agents are paid BY PROGRAMS, which is highly unethical and should be banned in all 50 states.
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Hi;
I know nothing of how the child was referred to this place. However, I can tell you she does have some problems (pill popping, failed out of a Specialized High school, running away, brushes with the law/probation for pot and trespassing). But she also has an overbearing, unaffectionate widowed mother who has a really bad reputation among her friends for being an overall negative person. The child was bribed 30 dollars to leave her weekend job for an "evaluation" in Westchester, when in reality she was tricked into Four Winds psychiatric hospital. From there the arrangements must have been made; the girl could not be held involuntarily and was told she would be released to her previous less restrictive boarding school in Nyack. Constant phone contact was established between us until the release, when she simply dropped off the radar. She had been handed over to two escorts who took her to the Hancock place. The death at the school was timely for her, she definitely made her break the following day when the school was distracted.
Their webpage is thefamilyschool.com, and it sends up quite a number of red flags. For example, they claim that "100% of their graduates go on to post-secondary education," which sounds wonderful. Then you look closely at the words "our graduates," which gives no indication of the actual percentage of students graduate; could be 20%, 30%, who knows. The school clearly has a religious agenda, and it's not just enough to pass all the Regents requirements; the school has the escape clause where "your character education" will determine the actual graduation. So a student who aces every Regents can still be held in limbo if someone arbitrarily decides that they haven't progressed as a just, virtuous person. Now here's something really scary, taken from the admissions page:
Admission to The Family Foundation School begins with a meeting between parents and admissions staff. We do not meet the prospective student. The student's success depends, to a great degree, on their parents' understanding what we do and concurring with that process. Interviews are held Monday through Friday and are scheduled around the lunch hour. Parents should expect to spend three hours at the school.
So they won't meet with the student, even though this place is close to New York City so it's not a stretch since a lot of city kids end up there. I really want to hear from the poster Narz (anthonarz@yahoo.com), because my e-mails to him keep bouncing. I need the horror stories and I'm really interested in hearing how a psychiatrist was able to "override" both the school and the parents. There's the light at the end of the tunnel right there.
Raj
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I was a student at the Family Foundation School and I graduated from there in August of 1997. While I don't necessarialy agree with the the methods of some of the staff members I don't belive that the school is as horrible or terrifying as people on the board have been making it seem. Yes the school has very strict policies and the rules are quite restrictive but lets face it the kids that are there are not there because they have good decision making skills in the first place. As with any place that a child is forced to be they make it worse then it truly is. I have seen some unethical things happen there and quite honestly I was appaled at some actions of SOME of the staff memebers but the majority of the staff memebers were helpful, understanding and caring. There is no rule book with how to deal with out of control teenagers, some things work for some while other methods are needed with others. Most of the students who are sent to the family are at the point that the next step for them is jail, a mental institution or even death and in that comparison the family sounds the best to me. I think the reason people are so astounded by the family's ways is that society has spolied the youth today. In the old tv shows and movies didn't the kids eat allt he food on their plate, didn't they obey their parents and follow their curfew? The family taught me many things and while I do feel there are a few things they could've done better I don't think they should be condemed for trying to help the kids that no one else seems to care about. The Family is the ONLY reason I even graduated high school and went to college on an academic scholarship.
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Love how it's referred to as "The Family". :roll:
If people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny.
Thomas Jefferson
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Anonymous: I appreciate your forthrightness and courage to come on a highly emotional board such as this. But let's break down your analysis of your stay there:
I have seen some unethical things happen there and quite honestly I was appaled at some actions of SOME of the staff memebers.
OK, so let's find out just what these unethical actions were. Just about every major academic or professional field has some guideline of ethics. Let's say, a doctor was highly professional and effective 90% of the time, but the rest of the time he engaged in some ethical violations. He would be gone. Finished. Same with any hospital or law office, if 5% of their time was spent engaging in appalling, unethical actions, and it was brought to attention, their licenses would most likely be suspended. So please, let me know what my friend can expect while in there. I want specifics. What where the actions?
"As with any place that a child is forced to be they make it worse then it truly is."
Children whine and complain if they're stuck doing the laundry for an afternoon. If someone has signed away their lives for two years, it's been taken to a whole new level. I'm particularly disturbed by the lack of phone contact, and its definition as a revocable privilege. Their website claims that it can be taken away as a result of not doing homework. Bull; the staff can use any arbitrary reason to deny communication of a child to a parent and then blame it on said child. They can say it's for not doing homework and who's to challenge them? The child has been silenced.
"Most of the students who are sent to the family are at the point that the next step for them is jail, a mental institution or even death and in that comparison the family sounds the best to me."
Who says? The death alarm's been rung many a time in justifying these conditions. Anonymous, I am happy that you made it, but perhaps it was something innate within you that was awakened and not what this $40,000 a year set of trailers on a landfill did for you. When you went, it was all still trailers, right? And finally in 2003 they got enough money to build some ramshackle dorms according to their own website. And you yourself have pointed out appalling, unethical things, and guess what? These alone don't justify the existence of a place like this. Those few good counselors you encountered can find work somewhere else; NYC is always looking for good people. Not the middle of an upstate landfill 70 miles from the nearest cell phone service.
Raj
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I am also a graduate of the family school...June 1998! I don't disagree with most of what you are saying, but disagree with saying it without any knowledge. The truth is, that things are not nearly as bad there anymore as they were when I first got there. Yes, I was a victim of much of the poor treatment that has been referred to on this board...and I would never say that I deserved it. What I can say is that it was a miserable experience at the time, but looking back on it most of the time I just laugh. Nothing was done to me that was so horrible that I am scarred to this day. Yes, I wish I hadn't had to go through it...yes I wish that things had been different...but I know that my parents wish that things were different too.
You also need to not blame the parents quite as much. One of the first things that you realize when you get there is that you are not the only one being brainwashed...they get your parents too. They block your parents out of your life so that they don't know what is actually going on. They tell your parents not to listen to you because you are just trying to manipulate them. The parents are not happily letting someone else mistreat their kids- they just don't know about it, and when they do it is downplayed so much that they don't know the truth. After graduating, I had a long talk with my parents about many of the things that went on there, they did not condone it, they just didn't have any clue it was happening.
I guess my point is that, while in some respects you are right- you really need to have first hand experience to understand the true nature of the beast.
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On 2004-03-11 13:35:00, Anonymous wrote:
You also need to not blame the parents quite as much. One of the first things that you realize when you get there is that you are not the only one being brainwashed...they get your parents too. They block your parents out of your life so that they don't know what is actually going on. They tell your parents not to listen to you because you are just trying to manipulate them. The parents are not happily letting someone else mistreat their kids- they just don't know about it, and when they do it is downplayed so much that they don't know the truth. After graduating, I had a long talk with my parents about many of the things that went on there, they did not condone it, they just didn't have any clue it was happening.
Yeah, well sorry, still doesnt' cut it. I was in one of those fucking places AND I have two teens. I've been through my share of teens and drugs and there is STILL NO FUCKING WAY I WOULD TURN MY KIDS OVER TO STRANGERS. Don't tell me what I need or need not do.
I guess my point is that, while in some respects you are right- you really need to have first hand experience to understand the true nature of the beast."
I've had enough first hand experience to last a few lifetimes, thank you very much and the beast and I are on intimate terms.He who laughs lasts
--Crazy Mac
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Nothing was done to me that was so horrible that I am scarred to this day.
That's the best you san say about it?
I was a victim of much of the poor treatment that has been referred to on this board...and I would never say that I deserved it.
One of the first things that you realize when you get there is that you are not the only one being brainwashed...they get your parents too. They block your parents out of your life so that they don't know what is actually going on. They tell your parents not to listen to you because you are just trying to manipulate them. The parents are not happily letting someone else mistreat their kids- they just don't know about it, and when they do it is downplayed so much that they don't know the truth.
You seem to be playing down the claims about the school, yet what you have just said is the most damning indictment of this place that has been written in this thread to date.
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All this is too scary..
I get chills down my back everytime I think about it. You would think this stuff only happens in a scary movie. :scared:
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i HAVENT BEEN TO THIS WEB SITE IN A VERY LONG TIME...I HAVE JUST BEEN TRYING TO BLOCK ALL OF THIS OUT OF MY HEAD. I GET TEARS IN MY EYES JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT PLACE, AND AFTER I READ ALL YOUR POSTS. I JUST CANT BELIEVE THESE PLACES ARE GETTING AWAY WITH THIS...THERE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WHO COULD HELP SHUT THEM DOWN.
MY FRIEND CAME HOME AUGUST 2003...HE WAS ONLY THERE FOR 7 MONTHS, BUT THATS ALL IT TOOK, I GUESS HE WASNT AS STRONG AS I THOUGHT HE WAS. I DIDNT WANT TO TRULY BELEIVE ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT UNTIL IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. HE, IS BEYOND A DOUBT BRAINWASHED. HE CAME BACK AN INCONSIDERATE, SELF-CENTERED ASS HOLE, WHO CARED ONLY ABOUT HIM SELF AND HIS PARENTS...WHO WERE THE ONES WHO DID THIS TO HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.(IM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS) HE JUST DIDNT FIT INTO THEIR "PICTURE PURFECT" FAMILY....I CANT SAY THAT HE DIDNT HAVE HIS SHARE OF PROBLEMS
,SMOKING WEED,NOT DOING WELL IN SCHOOL, DISRESPECTFUL TOWARDS HIS PARENTS....BUT PLEASE! WHAT NORMAL TEENAGER DOESNT HAVE THESE PROBLEMS!? DOES THIS MEAN WE SHOULD SEND EVERY GOD DAMN TEENAGER TO A THEREPUTIC BOARDING SCHOOL FOR TROUBLED TEENAGERS!? IF ANYTHING HE WAS A BETTER PERSON BEFORE HE WENT TO THAT PLACE. WHY CANT WE JUST LET OUR KIDS GROW UP, MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKES AND ACTUALLY LET THEM FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE INSTEAD OF WHO THEIR PARENTS WANT THEM TO BE?
-BRITT
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I had a best friend in hisghschool that was tricked by her parents into going to The Family. It wasn't yet the Family Foundation in 1991-92.
She was commited to teh place b/c she was caught smoking pot. This girl was a smart kid too and I believe her parents didn't really know what they were doing when the decided to put her there.
I can't remember how long she was there, but I helped her run away. She left in the middle of the night and a friend and I went to get her.
She said it was pretty bad. She didn't really talk details, but from what I gather she didn't want to.
Ironically, a few months later. I was on a bus from upstate NY headed to Manhattan and I met a girl who claimed she was from the Family and would I help her find a place to go b/c she was afraid to go back. I couldn't help her but my sister called The Family to let them know this girl was "out" b/c she seemed very distraught and the guy on the phone was more interested in hookin gup with my sister than the missing girl.
Anyway, that's my experience with the family. I am appalled that they have been certified by NYS to become a so called "school"
I am sorry for those who went to this place. :sad:
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Does anyone have more specific stories about the abuses that go one in this place? There aren't many programs in New York State; I'm surprised that this one is allowed to continue.
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I was also a student at The Family, I graduated in december of 2000 and stayed on to work till june of 2001. I got there in october of 1998. I think alot of what actually happens there is being misrepresented. It's not a prison, it's a very strict school. It's hard when you first get there, for everyone. Plus, it's not all spiritualism, there is a liscenced psychiatrist who works there and see's students. The program is based on the 12 steps of AA. Alot of the kids go there for substance abuse problems, not serious mental illnesses. When i was there, a few kids did exibit signs of serious mental illness, and they left, they went to psych wards. So anyway, while i didn't like being there for a while, i got used to it and i made some of the closest and truest friends in my life, with students and staff. And no, i don't agree with everything that happens there, but frankly, noone's going to agree with everything anybody does. If you talk to the parents of graduates, they will almost accross the board praise the school up and down (including my parents) So yeah, just thought i'd put in my 2 cents.
oh, and like the poster above me, the family is the only reason i ended up at a great college with a decent scholarship. The place can turn your life around for the better, believe me., My name is Mike Nesbit for any alum who might remember me.
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I got myself sent to the Family School about 16 months ago. I made some wrong decisions and am now living on my own in Binghamton New York. I resent the place greatly, but I must say that the Family School will change your child's life whether or not he or she is willing. It is a powerful and well-wishing place that will help your kid see what they are powerless over and possibly even lead them to a life of recovery
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I am a graduate of ASR, a similar school to The Family Foundation School. ASR has its own share of crazy shit that went on, but its obviously not as bad as the Family Foundation. My friend at ASR came from Family Foundation, and told me that she was put into an isolation room where food was passed to her thru a slit in the door 3 times a day, and she had to stand at all times except for 1hr a day. The room was dirty and had piss in it, and she was watched thru a camera. That place is crazy and so are all other places like it.
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Go to http://www.isaccorp.com/index.html (http://www.isaccorp.com/index.html) and tell them all you know, and ask for advice.
Also, thanks for getting the word out... but thats the issue. You have to tell people in your community about this, but first get some legal advice. Don't set yourself up for a SLAPP suit.
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::soapbox:: i suggest a protest and then at night parties for one wek out side the road entering the family
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I am a 3year family school veteran and have seen it all there.
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go to http://www.pfrr.org (http://www.pfrr.org) we have list serves for every state, parents and others sharing information on Residential Programs....I would suggest you join for NY the state the program is in and also PFRR America.
Good luck...
:grin:
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Chuckmench;
If you've seen it all at the Family Foundation, give us details and more details! That's the only way anyone can make an honest assessment about the true benefit, detriment or validity of these types of places.
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I was sent to the Family school February 18th. It was hell on earth. after i was there for about two weeks i saw that suicide mentioned on page 1 of this topic. the kids name was Tom Malkowski and i had conversed with him only a day before he jumped. remembering his bloody face makes me sick. although some kids come out of that school as great people, it made me want to die. the only reason i am not still at the school is because i got switched by my parents to a different boarding school, http://www.hyde.edu (http://www.hyde.edu) , as a compromise. the family school is the worst thing i have ever experienced in my life. to this day i have not seen either of my sisters in 7 months as it was family school policy that i could not see/speak with them. i am so grateful to be out of there. feel free to ask me whatever you want, i have first hand experience on it all :tup:
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I am disturbed by your postings from somebody with a master degree in pyschology. I actually attended the Family School in Hancock, New York. You seem very defensive and appear to be making snap judgements. I graduated from there and went on to a attend and IVY league school. I may not agree with everything that went on there, but I also would not have graudated high school, or attended college if it was not for the school. I would also not be the person I am today, and may of the people that I use to hang out with...are now dead! Many people try to run away while at the school, and they may tell you horror stories that are not necessary true. Most people end up there due to poor behavior and manipulations.
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Hello;
You must be addressing me. Well, as for your claim that you went to an IVY (capitalized) league school, let's saunter over to the Family school website itself and rummage over the list of colleges that its students were accepted to:
http://www.thefamilyschool.com/index.ph ... =Academics (http://www.thefamilyschool.com/index.php?src=gendocs&link=CollegesandUniversities&category=Academics)
I see no mention of any Ivy League Universities on this page, just some low level community colleges and demoninational schools. Purdue and NYU are pretty much the standouts on this list. Therefore you are a liar and a fraud; wouldn't it make sense that the "Family" would triumphantly place this Ivy League acceptance prominently on this page? And how am I defensive; I don't recall getting attacked in any earlier posts. Please don't psychoanalyze me; be honest with the school you actually attended and maybe we can build bridges from there. I've heard enough stories about the 5 hour study halls, forced religion, carrying buckets of rocks, etc. to not worry about making snap judgements. During any time at the school, were you allowed to have contact with the outside world, except for mummy and daddy who footed the bills? Any school that engages in these unconstitutional restrictions must be shut down. There's no need for any of that, and simply perpetuates the imbalance of power that these poor kids are faced with over on that barren hill in Hancock. Try better next time, Ivy Leaguer.
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Anon,
Can you name the MANY people you hung out with that are now dead? Any news articles or obituaries that might confirm your comment?
You program advocates all sound like you grew up in South LA.
If you want to be heard, you'd do well to drop the I'd be 'deadorinjail' without the program exaggeration. Your parents could've locked you in a closet and accomplished the same outcome.
Here's a bit of truth: The overwhelming majority of teens navigate the bumps and survive and thrive and go on to attend college if they so desire.
The angst experienced during the teen years is not a disease for which the program has a solution. They serve as holding tanks for overly anxious parents who are riddled with fear, or are just too involved with their own lives to parent.
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The reason that most of the Family Foundation School grads don't attend Ivy League is that the tuition for this school costs more than sending a kid to Harvard. At least these kids are going to college because they might have stayed strung out on drugs and got dead end jobs at McD's. This school teaches kids about humility and respect, for those who get it. Those who didn't will keep griping on this forum!
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Thank you for being honest. I wish only people who actually attended this school would voice opinions about it. Parents are not looking to punish their kids. They are dealing with kids who are destroying themselves and ripping apart their families in the process. They are looking for a way to SAVE their child. So all of you "I don't know anything about this school, but I think I'm so important and know everthing because I sat in a classroom" people should stop talking.
A parent who loves their child.
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On 2005-05-04 07:42:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Thank you for being honest. I wish only people who actually attended this school would voice opinions about it. Parents are not looking to punish their kids. They are dealing with kids who are destroying themselves and ripping apart their families in the process. They are looking for a way to SAVE their child. So all of you "I don't know anything about this school, but I think I'm so important and know everthing because I sat in a classroom" people should stop talking.
A parent who loves their child."
What the hell was that?
I guess thats supposed to be dismissive of what we're talking about... but its really a meaningless statement.
Wow, you want to save your kid? Good. Wow, you dont wanna punish? Neither do I. Same with the first thing! But guess what?
LOTS of people are on this forum who have personally been in those places. Check out the forums dedicated to those individual programs sometime! Ask them yourself!
No, I personally have not been in a program. But I have heard from people who have, and I have read about them, and I have seen plenty closed down and read the news articles and the court records about them.
When I found out there was a lot of proven abuse, and a lot of accused abuse, and not a lot being done about it, I was horrified, saddened, and enraged. Its SICK. Its EVIL to abuse a child and lock them up SYSTEMATICALLY and mess with their minds and their parents minds, and lie to everyone about it, and THEN to make money off of it.
I'm an outsider - but I have seen the writing on the wall, seen some smoke, felt some heat, heard from people who have seen the fire... *AND* seen the smoldering remains of some fires that people put out... like, oh, I dunno, The programs in the czech republic, samoa, costa rica, mexico, Straight, SEED, CEDU, Mountain Park... I'm sure I've left a ton out.
But yeah, Whatever. I'm here to SAVE kids too - from being abused by a program and having their parents manipulated into letting it happen or PARTICIPATING IN IT.
Accuse me of what you will, but anyone who takes the time to speak to me will know my intentions.
Religion is all bunk.
--Thomas Edison, American inventor
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This is from a long article posted here a couple of yaars ago. These two entries are most relevant to this thread.
16. Dragged From School Screaming for Help.
To understand what these children have suffered, parents need to take a moment to put themselves in the child's shoes. The child has been abruptly taken from the family. For a fee ¾ typically $10,000 ¾ parents can have their child abducted by experts: former green beret, police, narcotics agents and others whom experts say, know how to "take down the enemy." Some escort services charge less, and teens may be transferred in "batches" ¾ chained to their seats in a reconverted bus, for example ¾ or with a parent as part of the escort-team. The San Francisco Chronicle explained the escort process as kidnap with this headline: "When Parents OK Abduction." The phrase the schools use is "a transfer service." If the child resists abduction, they may be shackled, handcuffed or drugged.
Should teens have the right to be free of the fear of abduction in their own home? Should they have the right to be free of the fear of abduction from school?
On April 24, l998, a teenage girl was dragged, screaming in terror, from the sidewalk on East 71st Street in New York City by three men and a woman. She had just left school for the day. She was dragged toward a black sedan with dark tinted windows that obscured a view of the inside. Still screaming, she tried to call for help from people passing on the street.
People, startled by this violence, stopped to watch but no one tried to help the teen. As a crowd gathered, the girl was pulled toward the car. She tried to hold on to a black rod iron fence in front of a brownstown, then tried to hold onto the top of the car as the three men and the woman pushed her into the back seat. Her screams brought neighbors on this upper east side street to their windows. One was the U.S. features editor for the London Times. He ran down to try and help her.
Several friends of the girl, standing to the side of the crowd, were weeping. When the reporter, aghast, tried to find out what was happening, he was told by the crying teens that it was "an intervention."
He called it an abduction. A police officer who appeared as the young girl was forcefully shoved into the car stood to the side watching as the door slammed shut and the car sped off. The reporter took down the license number, tracked down the abductors ¾ an "escort" service ¾ and traced the girl to a behavior modification facility in upstate New York. "The Foundation" claims that it practices the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program.
What is the impact of the 12-step program on a teen?
17. "I Am Insane and Realize I Always Will Be."
I learned about schools that apply the 12-step program from a parent who withdrew her son from the same facility after only four months. We began exchanging email after her son had been at the school for seven weeks.
"Elliott?s" parents had enrolled him in The Foundation's "emotional growth" program for 18 months. As their concerns rose, they decided it would only be for 12 months. Four months after he entered the school, their son was brought home by his parents. His mother exchanged a series of email with me for two months before deciding to pull him out of the program. It forced a life-change for her as well. She was given use of a mountain cabin in New Mexico and took her son there for six months to help recover from the traumas of the program. The following excerpts from her email series shows a growing level of concern which led to her son?s removal from the school.
* * * * *
Dear Alexia, -- As our son has only been at this "emotional growth" school for 7 weeks, I have nothing to report and am really hoping that since I spent a year researching these programs, I have selected a good one. I knew from DAY ONE that he would not be leaving the U.S., those other programs sounded very strange from the start. We couldn't talk to him for the first 4 weeks, but have talked to him once a week since that time. We are going up there this weekend for New Parents Weekend and will be able to spend several hours with him on Saturday. I think we are expected to go up again in another 4 weeks for family counseling. We were encouraged to commit to an 18-month stay, but I am bringing him home by Christmas at the latest.
I still don't think that any parent would have their child abducted or sent away without firmly feeling that it was the best thing for the child. Maybe there are some parents out there who only want the kids out of the way, but I think the majority of parents take a long time to come to that gut-wrenching decision. The day that my husband took our son to [the school] will always be the lowest and saddest day of my life.
My son is only 15 and says that he has been smoking pot since he was 12. We are an upper middle class family (so typical of your book), both parents intact and very involved with our children. We tried handling this on our own once we found out what he was doing, but were advised by the deputy at his school, to get him away from his peer group for a while. He was currently failing every subject he was taking in 10th grade.
My son already has 2 felony charges and 1 misdemeanor against him for things he did two years ago (being part of a group that took a golf cart during the night to ride around the golf course knocking down flags and possession of marijuana). We live in a very small affluent town and they do not tolerate any crime at all.
* * * * *
We did get a very disturbing letter from him on Saturday, actually only parts of it were disturbing. He said that he has now found religion and has become a very active Catholic spending 14 hours per week in the chapel. Fourteen hours in any church would bother me. I even consulted with a Catholic Priest today who told me that this is not a healthy sign.
* * * * *
I think I might have mentioned it to you that [the counselor] considered my son's crying with us that day to be very "manipulative." She said that he was much too old to cry like he did. I would personally be very worried about the 15 yr. old who didn't cry after not seeing his parents after 8 weeks, but guess that I am not the so-called expert here?
My husband cries and he's 47. She has no idea that one of the things we told my son when we were there was that his grandmother (by marriage) passed away and we wanted to wait and tell him in person. He was not close to her, but she was still one of the only 2 grandma's he had ever known, that made him cry. She didn't even know that and still made a judgment call from what she saw. This has really bothered me as he's a very sensitive young man and I so hope that she didn't tell him he was being a baby and manipulating by crying.
* * * * *
Well, I called [the counselor] yesterday to finalize a time for our session on the 26th and mentioned that we were counting on spending time with him outside of the counseling atmosphere afterward. Her reply to me was, "Well, we will have to see how the counseling goes. If your son cries and carries on, we will have to ask you and your daughter to leave. Otherwise, if he behaves, you can stay for lunch."
[At the counseling session:] His first sentence was, "I am insane and realize that I will always be insane." My daughter and I almost came out of our chairs. He was referring to his prior drug use. During the "session" [the counselor] asked my son if he felt he was an "addict" to which my son replied "yes" and started crying.
I am concerned about the long term ramifications on a 15 yr. old being told that he's "insane."
The counselor very casually asked my son if he had ever had any sexual activity and again, my daughter and I almost lost it. He got very embarrassed and said that he had never been with a girl. I could have just died for my son. I can't imagine what it was like to have been asked that question in front of your mother and sister.
The worst of all was that the counselor referred to my son as "damaged goods" that need to be fixed. Those words will haunt me forever.
***
I am definitely not trying to sing their praises, but for my own sanity and peace-of-mind, I have had to try and see some positive out of this horrible experience.
He is physically safe, but I am not sure about his mental well-being and his spirit. My 21 yr. old daughter is terribly upset with the entire situation. She called me at midnight last night after returning to college almost hysterical about my getting him out of there.
* * * * *
[The teens were asked to list all the bad things they had done in their life.] He feels that the other kids have done so many more things than he has, and I wouldn't be surprised if he had to make something up just to keep up with them. I might add that my husband thought we were *weird* for thinking that way, but I think it's a real possibility and I had considered it. I have a feeling we will know what's true and what isn't when we hear this list. No, I can't imagine having to write a list of all of the "bad" things I did as a teen. My daughter said the same thing ¾ she said that there would be no way she would tell us everything, that some things are just better left unsaid.
* * * * *
My son cried quite a bit on Saturday and the counselor told me yesterday on the phone that that was his way of "manipulating" me. I am so tired of every program for troubled teens using that word. I prefer the word persuade or convince, but something about manipulating that sounds so devious. I told her that he must be quite an actor to be able to turn the tears on and off that way and that I too must be quite manipulative since I cried the entire time.
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Anyone in an administrative position atThe Foundation is on the 12 step program themselves. They are all ex "somethings" which is why they are so gung-ho on this program. They are living it. I had an educational consultant warn me that she didn't like their form of counseling ahead of time, but I chose not to listen after hearing all of the glowing remarks from other parents.
In fact, my husband was required to sign a statement that said our son did not require substance abuse counseling, that he was at the school for a drug-free education. I asked my husband why he signed it and he said he had to as part of the registration process. That's the only reason my son has been there, substance abuse.
* * * * *
We talked to [my son] tonight, he was feeling very badly about the fact that a new boy's family came up for their New Parent's Weekend seminar and were allowed to take him off property for dinner. My son stood up at the table and asked why we hadn't been allowed to stay longer on Thursday and the reply was, "There were too many emotional ties with us and that it wasn't in his best interest." How does a 15 yr. old process crap like that????? Too many emotional ties with his mother and sister. . . what an unusual situation. I can hardly wait to get him out and now my husband finally agrees. We are putting all of the plans in motion tomorrow with regards to schooling, etc.
* * * * *
I researched these schools for almost one year, but have come to the conclusion that you really don?t know what they will be teaching until your child is actually in there. I can?t begin to tell you how many discrepancies as to things we were told ahead of time that have changed now.
He said that three boys ran away during the night before I picked him up and that someone was always running away. He said many kids feel that going to jail was better than being at the facility, which is why they would risk running away if they had been court-ordered to the school.
* * * * *
I just hope and pray that 4 months wasn't long enough to destroy his spirit and that he doesn't really view himself as an "addict" or "damaged goods that need to be fixed." He has heard how wonderful he is from us for 15 years, so hopefully, 4 months won't have done any permanent damage.
* * * * *
A month later, after receiving confirmation that a refund of tuition from the school had arrived in the mail, she sent me "the rest of the story" in another, long email.
Alexia, I have two requests from you about the information I am going to share with you; total anonymity and accuracy. Please don't take any of this information out of context. I know that your passion is in uncovering the truth about these schools and helping kids, but I want whatever I tell you to be relayed truthfully, as I am confident that if anyone from the facility would read this information, they would definitely know the source and I would never want to relay false information (the truth is bad enough, in my eyes.) We don't talk about the school much anymore, as my son now gets very upset even discussing it. When he first came out, I was very concerned as to the possibility of long-term damage from what he heard and saw while there, but I think he's young and resilient enough that most of it will fade away with time.
The good . . . I feel the academic program at the facility is excellent. The principal runs the school, and though she is severely understaffed, she seems to be well-educated and personally involved in the educational endeavors of each student at the school. When my son first arrived at the school, his academic self-confidence was at an all time low. He lost a lot of time with his major concentration being Party 101 and was very far behind academically. He now realizes that he is capable of doing the work and is very smart. We always told him that, but when you only hear it at home, you don't always believe it. He scored very high on the standardized tests that were given to him and he did very well in all subjects during his 4 month stay. Academics are a No. 1 priority at the school and I find this a plus. The music program at the school is one of the best I have ever heard.
The rest of the story . . .My son has not relayed one positive comment (aside from academics) that was said to him or that he heard during the 4 months. All staff members are 12-steppers with varying histories behind them and what sounds to me like major chips on their shoulders. Some of the staff members have very disturbing pasts which were described in great detail to the kids. I found this most inappropriate. The entire school is run on the 12-step program in everything that is done, 24 hours per day. Prior to enrolling my son, I "thought" I understood the 12 step program, but now I know that I did not. Actually, I am not so sure that I didn't understand it, but I was not sure of how their staff/program interpreted the 12 steps.
During my son?s first telephone call home, he was quietly crying and kept telling me they were telling him he was "insane." I was certain that he was simply misunderstanding them and promised to talk to his counselor about it. He told me that not only did all of the staff tell each of them they were insane and always would be, but each of the students told the other kids that all were insane also. I knew in my heart that my son was mistaken, but unfortunately, he was not. After going out and obtaining everything I could on this 12-step program, I read that one of the steps states that you need to ask for help in returning your life to sanity. During my next conversation with my son, I kept telling him that they meant that he had been doing some "insane" things while high, but that he most certainly was not insane. He kept telling me that that's not what they were telling him. Well, they weren't.
They feel that these kids who were on drugs are full-blown addicts and that an addict is an insane person and always will be. No hope . . . nothing. He said they were told they would never be able to even sit and have a beer, they were addicts PERIOD It doesn't matter that they are only kids and that maybe they aren't "addicts." He was never given a message of hope ¾ - only gloom and doom for the future. They were told that they were the "rejects of society" and that's why they were there. I think I mentioned to you that our so-called family counselor referred to him (in front of him) as "damaged goods" that needed to be "fixed."
We were told that no one was ever forced to attend the religious services offered. We were also told the kids had a choice of Jewish, Catholic or Methodist services. My son has indicated that he attended church for approximately 14 hours per week, 2 hours per day and none of it was voluntary. Only 2 hours per week were other than Catholic services. Everyone had to attend everything. I asked about Jewish students and he said they had to attend the same. He said that sometimes he would go to an extra service on a Sunday night just to get out of Study Hall. The kids were in Study Hall hours on end each day. They had to sit in a chair and study. Everyone had to ask permission to go to the bathroom and they were not always allowed to go when they asked. Upon arrival at the school, your "shadow" had to go to the bathroom with you. Doors were never allowed to be closed.
Kids are encouraged and praised for "bringing someone up at the table." This is the meal table and if someone has done something you don't like, you bring them up on it. My son said these were always crying and shouting bouts that literally gave him an upset stomach while he was eating. My daughter and I witnessed one of these sessions during our last visit and we were shocked. My son later told us that this was mild compared to most days. A girl brought herself up on charges that she had "lusted while walking down the hall" and "judged someone wrongly." She was crying and asking for help while we were eating our macaroni and cheese. My son said he had to tune them out so that it wouldn't ruin his meal. We noticed that other kids would jump on the bandwagon and start criticizing someone after a charge had been brought up because it gave them brownie points to do so. These are the informal counseling sessions that were praised as being such "effective counseling." Effective for whom?
My son said that each staff member was nice to him and no one ever did anything to physically harm him. The most severe form of punishment at the facility was wrapping someone in a blanket. This was done only as a last resort or if a student was a physical threat to himself or someone else. They were wrapped in a blanket and secured with duct tape and remained that way for many hours. We were made aware of this at the Parent's Seminar after the first month. We were not told that the kids were not allowed out [of the blanket] to use the bathroom. My son said he thinks the kids had to go in the blanket. I am not positive of this, but he seems sure of it.
The only punishment we were told about in advance was placement in the corner. My son was made to spend 1 1/2 days in the corner due to his throwing a small clear candy wrapper out of the car window on the way to an AA meeting. Some children have had to spend several weeks staring at the wall! My son was told that his punishment for the wrapper was that he had to pick up 500 pieces of trash at the school within a certain period of time. Well, my son has been taught that there are germs in trash and was not anxious to pick up the trash. Since he didn't start his trash pick-up on time, he had to sit in the corner for a day and a half. They must miss all classes (zeros for each class missed) and eat their meals in the corner as well. I am all for consequences of your actions, but the zeros for the classes didn't sit well with me as they were very adamant about him not missing one 45 minute class during our second visit. We argued that we had flown across the country to visit and wanted an extra 45 min. They insisted that his class was more important. This was the same visit when he was later told that we were really not allowed to stay because there were "too many emotional ties involved."
We were told ahead of time there were 8 boys/men to a dorm room. We knew this was a lot, but went with it. During our first visit to the school, there were 12 boys in his room. His dorm was in actuality a trailer. It was extremely crowded, but clean. When we moved him out, there were 10 boys in his dorm. The room was very crowded. I might add that each "dorm" had only 1 bathroom.
My son said that once the staff members were aware of his impending departure, he was treated differently by most. I asked for examples and he really couldn't give me any, except that they were just "different." He said that no one ever leaves the school early and that most are there well beyond the recommended 18 months. There are students that have been there for 3-3 ½ years. The Director told me that the average stay is now 2 1/2 years. We met several of these students and they were definitely the "cold potatoes" or "Moonies" that have been described in your posts. They were extremely polite and nice people, but they appeared very unsure of themselves to us. My son said that the kids who have been there over a year, are convinced that they CAN'T make it on the outside and are actually scared to leave for fear of failure.
I am not sure if I have relayed our first traumatic incident at this school, this was actually my first real doubt. My son had been at the school for 3 1/2 weeks and we were anxiously awaiting his first call. We got it at the 4-week mark (right on time), but I instantly knew something was wrong aside from being homesick. He sounded physically sick and I questioned it. He said he had been sick for weeks, but that everyone kept telling him to "grin and bear it." He said they were letting him see the doctor the next day because he kept insisting that he was sick. Well, I called early the next morning to see what the Dr. had to say and was told that the doctor said he had a bad case of strep throat and needed rest and medication. They let him stay in the infirmary that day, and told me that he would get antibiotics by noon. Well, no one went to get his medicine until late that night while he laid on a cot and had a high fever all day. The nurse was very kind to him and stayed with him the entire day, but no one left to get his medicine (it was a 10 min. drive into town.) I offered to pay for a cab to get the medicine to him, but was told that they would do it ASAP. I was furious to find out that he didn't receive his first dose of medicine for approx. 12 hours after the doctor's diagnosis. When I called to complain to the Director the following morning, I was told that in no uncertain terms that "this is how it was and that if I didn't like it, I better come up there immediately and take my son home." Can you imagine. What a first impression?. .My son obviously got well, but I know that strep throat can lead to many serious conditions such as rheumatic fever if left untreated.
I think I mentioned to you the fact that my son said many kids would try and run away just in hopes they would get caught and sent to jail rather than stay at the school. He said that even kids who had been at the school over 9 months, still ran away at times. My son told me the only reason he didn't seriously try and run was that he knew we would worry about his whereabouts. I think he was also scared to try.
My son said that most of the kids there have severe anger problems? In light of the recent turn of events with the teen violence in schools, maybe many of these kids do belong there. For my son, it was absolutely the wrong choice and I will always regret sending him there. I spoke to probably 10-15 sets of parents with kids at the school or who had been to the school and felt it had saved their lives. I knew that I had done months of homework and checked every expert possible to look into this school. That's what is so frightening about this whole process . . . I didn't make this selection overnight.
First and foremost, I consider myself a good parent, I was turning "my baby" over to these people for a year and didn't do it lightly. With all of my research, calls, etc., look at what I have discovered once we were inside. I don't think you can ever be confident or trust anyone 100% when you entrust them with your child. Looking back, I guess it was better than his getting arrested (which he's the first to admit was just around the corner again) and going to the county facility, but it cost us a lot emotionally as well as financially and for what? For him to be told that he's a reject and will always be an addict?
I do want to add that I asked the principal for a letter of recommendation for my son's new school in the fall. I told her that they realize that he had only been at [the school] for 4 months, but they wanted to know what kind of student he was, what was his level of motivation, did he turn in his assignments, etc. while he was at the school. She refused to accommodate them with this letter and said it was against her policy. I might add that my son didn't get blackout even once during his 4 month stay. You get blackout [and are kept] from calling home when you don't turn in a homework assignment.
I was told that he was an exemplary student while there from one counselor, yet she wouldn't comply with this small request. She said that my son "would be the one to suffer" from our early withdrawal and it almost sounds like she was making sure of it.
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mike nesbit what's up it's matt azimi just reading all this stuff pretty crazy hope all is well with you peace.
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I was also a student there one main problem with the place is that it violates the very principles it shoved down our throats. To make money off AA is terrible. AA works on free will. I would very much like to see it shut down so it doesn't damage any other people.
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in the next world war in a jackknifed juggernaut i am born again. honesty purity unselfishness love. People in glass houses should not through stones. 2+2=5. step one. step two. 45'000 a year. non profit!? how do you sleep at night. what lies do you feed to you're fat self. making money off misery. false hope playing god. masturbating is wrong 13 14 15 16 17 18 you're the insane ones.this just feels like spinning plates. it's all true all diferent views two sided.
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if anyone has been through the family school I really need to know what the hell goes on in there i live all the way in Cali, and my son got sent there by his dad, 3 weeks now my son has been in the corner, the family leader or "contact"(contract) person hangs up on me. What the ????so can anyone please ...details or at least an example ok,
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I was at the family school for sixteen months, from march 2002 through july 2003. I'm currently compiling a large reader of personal stories and alternative forms of dealing with youth, rather than the coercive methods used by behavior modification programs or other institutions. Any one who has a personal story to contribute or who wants a bunch of information about the project can email me at misledyouthinfo@yahoo.com. I'd especially like to here from Matt Azimi...
-Nick
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On 2005-05-31 02:37:00, Anonymous wrote:
"in the next world war in a jackknifed juggernaut i am born again. honesty purity unselfishness love. People in glass houses should not through stones. 2+2=5. step one. step two. 45'000 a year. non profit!? how do you sleep at night. what lies do you feed to you're fat self. making money off misery. false hope playing god. masturbating is wrong 13 14 15 16 17 18 you're the insane ones.this just feels like spinning plates. it's all true all diferent views two sided."
:lol: Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror.
--Francois Marie Arouet "Voltaire", French author and playwright
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On 2005-07-13 19:08:00, p.e.n.i.#1 wrote:
"if anyone has been through the family school I really need to know what the hell goes on in there i live all the way in Cali, and my son got sent there by his dad, 3 weeks now my son has been in the corner, the family leader or "contact"(contract) person hangs up on me. What the ????so can anyone please ...details or at least an example ok,"
If my child way someplace (school, camp, friends house) and the person on the phone was that secretive Id hire a lawyer in a heartbeat and get myself cross country. I guessing you dont have shared custody... and I know there are many anti-lawyer folks out there. But when you need one its good to know one. Thats how you get referred to the big guns. And if you cant get into your sons fathers head, try getting through to the grandparents. Best of luck.
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You were probably in susan and bobs family.
Try being with paul geer for 25 months
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On 2004-03-11 04:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hi;
I know nothing of how the child was referred to this place. However, I can tell you she does have some problems (pill popping, failed out of a Specialized High school, running away, brushes with the law/probation for pot and trespassing). But she also has an overbearing, unaffectionate widowed mother who has a really bad reputation among her friends for being an overall negative person. The child was bribed 30 dollars to leave her weekend job for an "evaluation" in Westchester, when in reality she was tricked into Four Winds psychiatric hospital. From there the arrangements must have been made; the girl could not be held involuntarily and was told she would be released to her previous less restrictive boarding school in Nyack. Constant phone contact was established between us until the release, when she simply dropped off the radar. She had been handed over to two escorts who took her to the Hancock place. The death at the school was timely for her, she definitely made her break the following day when the school was distracted.
Their webpage is thefamilyschool.com, and it sends up quite a number of red flags. For example, they claim that "100% of their graduates go on to post-secondary education," which sounds wonderful. Then you look closely at the words "our graduates," which gives no indication of the actual percentage of students graduate; could be 20%, 30%, who knows. The school clearly has a religious agenda, and it's not just enough to pass all the Regents requirements; the school has the escape clause where "your character education" will determine the actual graduation. So a student who aces every Regents can still be held in limbo if someone arbitrarily decides that they haven't progressed as a just, virtuous person. Now here's something really scary, taken from the admissions page:
Admission to The Family Foundation School begins with a meeting between parents and admissions staff. We do not meet the prospective student. The student's success depends, to a great degree, on their parents' understanding what we do and concurring with that process. Interviews are held Monday through Friday and are scheduled around the lunch hour. Parents should expect to spend three hours at the school.
So they won't meet with the student, even though this place is close to New York City so it's not a stretch since a lot of city kids end up there. I really want to hear from the poster Narz (manifestort@aol.com (http://mailto:manifestort@aol.com), in the off chance you see you this messege you can contact me.
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IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS KIND OF CHATROOM!
Hi, i am a recent graduate from the FFS, ive stayed sober, however every single professional in thh field of chem dependancy and/or psychology has been shocked when ive told them the abuse that occured to me there, im seeking a lot of professional help to discusss what has occured to my mind, body and soul, the FFS is directly ephiliated with the cult called East Ridge, i saw cult because legally it is one. I need help to try to take legal action against the school. Please email me, i would love to talk by phone to anyone interested in helping me!-Kate powerpuff212@hotmail.com
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On 2005-11-11 10:37:00, Anonymous wrote:
"IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS KIND OF CHATROOM!
Hi, i am a recent graduate from the FFS, ive stayed sober, however every single professional in thh field of chem dependancy and/or psychology has been shocked when ive told them the abuse that occured to me there, im seeking a lot of professional help to discusss what has occured to my mind, body and soul, the FFS is directly ephiliated with the cult called East Ridge, i saw cult because legally it is one. I need help to try to take legal action against the school. Please email me, i would love to talk by phone to anyone interested in helping me!-Kate powerpuff212@hotmail.com"
http://www.isaccorp.org/
Go to this website for assistance. If anything done to you was criminal or may be criminal, contact your local law enforcement agency or the NYS Attorney General.
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SEE WAYWARD WEB FORA
THE TROUBLED TEEN INDUSTRY
FFS PARENT WROTE----
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I graduated from FFS in june 05, i was there for 3 and a half years. Im not gonna lie i did have some good experciences like with chorus and show choir,and making good friends, but thats about it. I just dont agree with the way they handle things. If u dont finish ur meal they will keep giving it to til u eat and u wont get a new meal til u do. U cant go to the bathroom alone, u cant flirt guys and girls cant even touch like not even a high five. the punishments r not always reasonable such as work sanction (where u get taken out of school for however long they want u 2 and u just do physical labor all day, like carrying buckets of rocks up and down hills), the corner ( i was probably in there for 2 1/2 years total out of my 3 1/2), they force u to attend anything that has to do with your religion even if u dont want (other religions as well),most of the teachers dont even have a teaching degree (most of the staff have been in jail and/or psych wards)...u want to know more just ask
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Uck. I was at The Family School. August 2001-May 2002. That place was horrid and demeaning. I was in Family 6... I lost about 60 pounds in a very short period... like 3 months, from Tuna and Work Sanction. I got bruises all over probably from the lack of prpper nutrition, which, they said I brought upon myself. I can't even remember my last two weeks there. I know I got kicked out, but I can't even remember what I did to get kicked out. Thank goodness I did. I remember people discriminating against my religous interests. I was interested in wicca and got a straight out no, that I couldn't do that. Then, the religion I grew up with, Unitarian Universalism, I was flat out told it was wrong. They fucking told me to name a higher power, I named it "emma" after my great grandmother... nope, I couldn't do that either. Not being able to talk to my family for like, 6 weeks? My parents regret sending me there. I get nightmares from that place all the time. For them its like... "Woohoo! Lets demean kids who already have emotional problems, and shove the twelve step program down their throats." What kind of school rewards people for ratting on other? Because, that what is was when they brought you up in front of the table. Ratting. If they were in prison, rats would get the crap beaten out of them. But here, they get rewarded with being able to shadow and buddy other students. Yeah, lets have other kids follow each other around to make sure they don't do anything. It's sadism and brainwashing. My boyfriend was in prison for bank fraud... and I've told him about this place... he said FFS was worse then prison. So yeah, that place is screwed up, and I hope it gets closed.
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I don't know how old this e-mail is but I was at thte Family from 1994-1996. Let me know I you want answes.
Magnolia7982@Yahoo.com
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My last post was about 2 years ago. I had just been kicked out by the FFS and dropped off in downtown binghamton. I was a scared child working from pay check to pay check trying to find myself as a person. I became extremely well connected and eventually found myself with the resources to get into SUNY Binghamton, a division one university without ever having completed my high school education. I am now only a couple of days away from finishing the first semester of my sophomore year. Part of finding myself was finding out what the traumatic experience that I had just had meant to me in life. The FFS taught me about concepts such as honesty, openmindedness and willingness on a level that I hadn't yet seen. I became a very strong willed person and I devote a very large part of my life to the very tenets that I was kicked out of that institution for allegedly not following. I am not an Ivy league graduate nor am I anything more than a struggling college student who has a couple of more life experiences under his belt than most. I do however know this: regardless of experiences within the school, individuals who even exert the effort to live their lives according to the school's tenets will be successful and happy. I am living proof. The school is messed up, it messes people's heads up, almost every product I have seen of that school has serious issues that were fostered merely by being there, however the tenets do work and the sch ool attempts to take any steps possible to force the individuals within its walls to live by them. One can judge this in two ways: the school is in fact a hypocritical institution that WILL fuck your child up probably to a different level than they were before they went in. The staff are, generally speaking, not very good people and they don't live by their own prescribed tenets. The success rate is mediocre. On the other side, find me an alternative when a child is simply unwilling to accept rules and is behaving in a way which is usually both criminal and addictive? To all of you who want to sue that place, find me an alternative to the 12 steps and judeo christian ideals (not the reality but the ideals), an easier softer way of sorts. I devote a portion of my time to helping fellow strays from the FFS. Anyone who reads this should feel free to contact me, I am a very open person who will talk to just about anyone about just about anything. email me at your own risk!
E
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Here's a FFS story
http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_ ... d=55&id=36 (http://cafety.org/index.php?option=com_uhp&task=view&Itemid=55&id=36)
Anyone who wants to post thier story, opinion, etc on their experience at FFS or any school they had direct experience with can do that on this site on their home page. First you have to register though.
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I was at the family for 2 years (1995-1997) although it may have helped it defintely twisted my head up really bad. witnessed plenty of abuse and questionable situations at best....feel free to contact me at djjone5ny@hotmail.com with any questions or concerns.
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On 2004-10-12 11:00:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Hello;
You must be addressing me. Well, as for your claim that you went to an IVY (capitalized) league school, let's saunter over to the Family school website itself and rummage over the list of colleges that its students were accepted to:
http://www.thefamilyschool.com/index.ph ... =Academics (http://www.thefamilyschool.com/index.php?src=gendocs&link=CollegesandUniversities&category=Academics)
I see no mention of any Ivy League Universities on this page, just some low level community colleges and demoninational schools. Purdue and NYU are pretty much the standouts on this list. Therefore you are a liar and a fraud; wouldn't it make sense that the "Family" would triumphantly place this Ivy League acceptance prominently on this page? And how am I defensive; I don't recall getting attacked in any earlier posts. Please don't psychoanalyze me; be honest with the school you actually attended and maybe we can build bridges from there. I've heard enough stories about the 5 hour study halls, forced religion, carrying buckets of rocks, etc. to not worry about making snap judgements. During any time at the school, were you allowed to have contact with the outside world, except for mummy and daddy who footed the bills? Any school that engages in these unconstitutional restrictions must be shut down. There's no need for any of that, and simply perpetuates the imbalance of power that these poor kids are faced with over on that barren hill in Hancock. Try better next time, Ivy Leaguer."
As much as I hate The Family School, the Ivy League claim may be somewhat accurate. After leaving the school I did manage to get into Vassar College (close to Ivy League) Do I think that was thanks to the school? They may have had some impact. Do I think it was an even trade for the mental and psychological and (for others) physical abuse....no way. contact me at djjone5ny@hotmail.com for more info if you feel you need it.
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Well... I know this response is a little in delay, but to the person who graduated from the school in 1997.... I was there from 2000-2001... they are stricter now, and quite unsympathetic. My mother took me out of there... she didn't think I needed to be there from the beginning. My dad won't talk to me because I left. It was a traumatic experience, and I had nightmares after I left. To this day I still have problems as a result. I will not say it was the worst thing that happened to me, because I did learn important things from the school... but I definitely don't think I needed to suffer as much as I did to learn what I did. I could have learned it in a healthier environment. I swore, when I left, then when I had enough money, I would shut down the school so that no one else would have to suffer.