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Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: ehm on February 21, 2003, 06:30:00 AM

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Post by: ehm on February 21, 2003, 06:30:00 AM
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Post by: Anonymous on February 21, 2003, 08:10:00 AM
I can identify with much of what you shared. Mostly with by personality being splintered and deformed by Straight. Not knowing this until recently. Did become undiagnosed, but obviously schizophrenic. Straight was very bad for the psyche of young folks. The good thing is that we are still alive and can begin to put the pieces of our lives back together, and there are people here who understand. I have to go to work now, and will post after work.

Take care of yourself.

Scott
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Post by: Anonymous on February 21, 2003, 08:28:00 AM
ISAC has a helpline on their page they also have volunteer professionals for counseling call them at
727-596-7118 -if you need to you can call collect just say survivor and they will take it
Their page is located at
http://www.straightincorporated.com (http://www.straightincorporated.com)

They have personally interviewed each counselor and have a standing agreement with each professional on the appropriate form of treatment for survivors. ISAC is made up of all survivors.
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Post by: ramprato on February 21, 2003, 10:52:00 AM
"I still feel stupid posting this. Because boo fucking hoo, poor me right?"

Lesli, NO you are not stupid or 'feeling sorry for yourself'. You are merely trying to understand what the hell happened to you. That "pity" thing is just ANOTHER Straight-tape rolling in your head that STRAIGHT stuck there. I know I have the same crap like that come up once in a while, I just have to shut it off. You are entitled to whatever you are feeling. People outside of you Lesli NEVER had any business dictating to you how you should feel.

Like all of us, you just had a bunch of nutcakes at one time in your life that messed with it terribly yet never had any business doing so in the first place. I don't like seeing you put yourself down like this.

I don't even know you but you just grabbed at my heart. I know all about those 4 people you described that you split yourself into. I wish I could go back to that young man I was before and get him away from Straight so I wouldn't have to pick up al these pieces they left me in today. But I have made up my mind that when I am done picking up these pieces, I am NOT ever going to clean up after them again, in fact, whenever I can, I will do whatever I can to expose these monsters that founded and operated Straight so that they can't hurt other kids today, it really helps me heal from their shit.

Myself, I took it up another notch and decided after I "graduated" that I was still the 'family fuck-up' and that my parents and those at Straight all walked on water. I love that term 'fear sobriety' that you used as well, that was the case for me for nearly 15 years I carried that around thinking I was some kind of an addict, more like I was lied to in the name of money.

There is help out there, I go to a great therapist here in Michigan who had heard of Straight and the sadistic methods that they used. Once I realized that it was not my fault, and that I was lied to, I was able to quit smoking after a 2 pack a day 15 year habit. I'm sure that there has to be someone in the Dallas area that knows about therapeutic communities like Straight was.

Take care of yourself Lesli and write back soon.....Ken
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Post by: ClayL on February 21, 2003, 11:26:00 AM
Leslie, I think we all go through the same thing when finding these sites. The confirmation that all the doubts we had about the way we felt is at once, comforting and overwhelming. This site brought back all the pain and memories of the pain, friends that are gone, wasted years, and "wat if's" that I recieved with malice aforethought. Then to come to grips with the fact that all these thing were purposly inflicted on me is almost unbearable. Listening to the stories of people who have had their lives shattered the same way mine was is helpful and gives me drive to insure that (1) I will never let this happen to me again and (2) will do my best to protect my children from the same hucksters of dubious dreams.

Thank you for writing what you did. It helped me remember my experience. Please know that you can rely on me if you need someone to discuss these things with. Do continue with you counselor. The person sounds like they know what they are doing. I wish you all the best in life. It is yours to take or not.

Sincerely
Clay
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Post by: marika708 on February 21, 2003, 12:31:00 PM
There are so many of us that have the exact same feelings inside that you outlined in your post, I think my first few posts all started with the words "I am so amazed"...

There are days that it is too much, and there are days when right in the middle of a conversation or discussion that I realize that "I'm doing it".  At least now I do realize that it's not really me, I am slowly trying to reclaim the person that Straight damaged so many years ago.

I am glad you found this board, too.  Welcome.

Marika

I am sick unto death of obscure English towns that exist seemingly for the sole accommodation of these so-called limerick writers -- and even sicker of their residents, all of whom suffer from physical deformities and spend their time dismembering relatives at fancy dress balls.
--Editor of the Limerick Times
(Limerick, Ireland)

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Post by: kosmonaut on February 21, 2003, 07:13:00 PM
Whenever I read a post like this by someone who just found out about the growing online community of ex-Straight people, it's difficult to respond because words can't convey the hell we all know so intimately.  All I can say is I'm glad you found this place and I look forward to hearing more from you.
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Post by: METALGOD8 on February 21, 2003, 10:08:00 PM
:smokin:
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Post by: ehm on February 22, 2003, 01:30:00 AM
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Post by: Anonymous on February 22, 2003, 07:56:00 AM
"I can't remember a day that has gone by, since the day I left straight, that I could truly identify with myself or who I was"

exactly
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Post by: Froderik on February 23, 2003, 03:35:00 AM
At 3AM all I can say is welcome to this and any other boards...well there's really only 2 for us str8 survivors...this one and the yahooo Alumni site. I almost said "group." (I decided against that terminology...) I also went thru the overwhelming wave of emotion that knocked me off-kilter for like a week (at least)
"Less than 72 hours ago I stumbled upon all of this information after 17 years of battling with what seemed to be, as years went by, a severe mental disorder that I only had an abusive childhood to trace it back to. I can't believe that for this long I didn't think of straight as anything more than something that I was ashamed of even admitting I was in. I knew that at 15 years old it is near impossible to be a "drug addict". I would have had to have started ?hard-core? drug use at nine. But still have kept it a secret.


This says it all to/for me. I was exactly the same way with my attitude about straight. Peace!
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Post by: Anonymous on February 23, 2003, 01:42:00 PM
"Did become undiagnosed, but obviously schizophrenic."

If you don't mind saying, what led you to believe that you were schizophrenic?
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Post by: Anonymous on February 24, 2003, 12:56:00 AM
For several years I heard voices, weird ones. :scared:
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Post by: Anonymous on March 14, 2003, 02:13:00 PM
You have found the answer you've been looking for IT'S NOT YOU IT'S STRAIGHT.
This might be why. Does any body remember this.  Does anybody remember the ?WHITE ROBES AND CANDLES DURING THE LOVE RAPS??

I was one of the brainwashed that helped open the Dallas SYNANON IN 1986.  I came from St. Petersburg on 4th phase. 6 months on 1st phase. Damn Bastards. Oh, I mean WIZARDS. I remember them torturing those victims (misbehavers). I saw the suicide attempts. I saw the carvings, the restraints. Told to turn the "f--around and look STRAIGHT" as another one runs for the door. Now he's feeling the pain. Got to keep motivating like they are not insane. Lets have a song like zippidy-doo-da-day, want some pain today if you don't obey. Or BINGO i THINK WAS HIS NAME-O.  Two more head for the door. DESTROYED THEY ARE TAKEN AWAY. Only distant screams now. But its time to play their GAME. Don't get called on, you're blown away. The pack is hungry. Lets get in his face(HER). Lets break him today. They attack. Lining them up its no mistake.  Lets break him today.  He won't obey. NOT THE PROGRAM (7 OR 12 STEPS) but their "GAME". So your brothers and sisters begin to show you how to play.  Lead by the leaders who have WORKED THEIR  ?ART?.   One by One they come yelling with all their game.  I tell you no lies.  How could I?  Weren?t you there that day?  They have done well with their prey. They broke him today.  He is under their spell.  Hope you can take it its just been one day.  (I am guilty of their ways).  Have a seat we have more to feed upon today. OH, And by the way ?does the group have something to say?.

               "WE LOVE YOU"

I HOPE THIS HELPS YOU TO SEE THE TRUTH INSTEAD OF ALL THOSE "lies".

JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONE.
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Post by: Anonymous on March 14, 2003, 03:21:00 PM
Look, it's really super duper that you have found Christ and all, but guess what? No-one likes having belief systems crammed down their f*cking throats. Remember???????.......Duh......

If you are giving thanks that's nice, but you are starting to sound annoying as hell. Get to the point of whatever it is you're trying to say for cryin' in the mud!!  What are you, an avangelist or something? Go join a missionary or buy a cable slot. Just stop preaching repetitively, like a robot, you sound a little creepy dude.

All I trying to say is respect other people's individuality, and freedom of religion. O-TAY?
That'd be super, thanks.

P.S. I'm sorry if this post is a bit abrasive, but I can't stand when people try to instill their belief systems into others. Go pass out flyers door to door, or yell at strangers on a street corner.
Love,
Secular Humanist/free thinker
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Post by: Froderik on March 14, 2003, 10:44:00 PM
Personally, I like the stuff that you're writing, even though you're re-posting it in different threads on the board...I too could do w/out the Jesus stuff, but whatever...  :grin: I would however, like to see you respond to the person who thinks that you "abused them". (It's on one of these threads at the top, you'll see it...) I think I recall reading in one of your posts that you were on staff. I'd like to see more posts from ex-staff, even though that might be hard to take for some, for good reason. Have you visited the Yahoo Straight Alumni Board yet? BTW, the thread that I referred to is here:

http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?to ... rt=30#9971 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?topic=160&forum=7&start=30#9971)

My apologies if I have the wrong 'anonymous'

[ This Message was edited by: AlexL on 2003-03-14 19:48 ]
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Post by: Anonymous on March 15, 2003, 01:46:00 PM
Maybe ya'll  need to look up SYNANON.
I WOULD SAY IT'S A SATANIC CULT THAT USED THE "ARTS" TO BRAINWASH. o-tay.

No one will ever force their religion on me either or commit me to another dungeon again.
I'm sorry you felt that way.

It was just a day that i recalled. I've got plenty more.

VOICES AND FEAR. I THOUGHT IT WAS QUITE CLEAR.

I WILL LOOK UP MY VICTIMS. I SURE AS HELL WON'T ASK FOR AMENDS, BUT I WILL ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

My family life growing up was quite the hell anyway. Called a chicken shit motherfucker and drop and give me fifty. STRAIGHT fed me that crap for 6 months on first and they couldn't break me. SO YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME "POWERFUL ATTITUDE".

I feel for those who didn't have to go to IOWA intensive when they were eleven. OR ALREADY BEEN IN THE HOT SEAT BEFORE THEY ENTERED THE PROGRAM.  THEY ARE THE ONES WHO TRULY PAYED THE PRICE.

BRING IT ON GUYS ITS TIME TO GET OUT. WE SURE AS HELL AREN'T CLEAR FOR IF WE WERE WE WOULD BE ON THE SAME PAGE.

IT SEEMS THEY STILL HAVE A SPELL ON ALL OF US. DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER WAYS TO BREAK IT BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO DWELL ON THIS SHIT FOR EVER. EXPOSE THEM FOR WHAT THEY TRULY ARE. AND SET US FREE.

I'M SORRY TO THE ONE WHO'S STORY I RESPONDED TO. IT SEEMS THE FOCUS HAS TURNED TO ME.

IS THIS THE BATTLE OF GOOD AND EVIL? HAVEN'T WE ALL SEEN THE POWERS OF SATAN.