Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: starry-eyed pirate on August 15, 2006, 11:25:16 PM
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...When I was copped out from $tr8, hiding out in the woods, listening to the birds in the trees, following the path of the stream. The Sun seemed to shine so nice. I was completely alone. Mostly I never sat still. I covered about 10 miles a day just movin' around. Runnin' in the narrow stretches of woods between sub-divisions that connected what little forest was left at that time around Fairfax and Burke. I couldn't take the chance of bein' seen so I never came out of the woods during the day. I shoplifted to eat. The police were looking for me. Sometimes they would question people I knew and I would hear about it later or one time the police investigator who was chasing me gave me a message through a friend to call him. I called him from a pay phone. It was a brief conversation. I didn't tell him anything and hung up quick and got movin' again, in case they had traced the call.
The stillness I am referring to was in my mind. I had very few possessions. My mind was very focused. I was undistracted by anything. I kept very little company. I hardly ate. I slept in various places. I was a tramp.
How can I even describe the sense that I had at that time ?? The one I can never forget or even seem to leave behind ?? It's like certain doors were opened to me because I had travelled so far to get to that point. I had left the world behind.
I had no home. No Family. No money. No shelter. I knew I was bein' unjustly persecuted and with only the clothes I wore, a sleeping bag and a knife, I felt fine, in my alone-ness. I felt strong and independent. My mind was my own. My mind was still. I was comfortable with myself and who I was.
I learned something from livin' like that. $tr8 had severed all of my mental attachments and then I severed myself from $tr8...I had nothing and wanted for very little. There was a certain strength and peace of mind that I had. The only thing I feared was capture.
I had been completely on the outside. Livin' there.
In a lot of ways I'm still there.
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Yeah, even with no home, money, or even food, a shitty day after copping out still beat the living fuck outta a "good day" at Str8.
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In some ways, I've never felt freer than when I was copped out.
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I was homeless after Straight, and I loved it for a while.
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In some ways, I've never felt freer than when I was copped out.
Is it a drug? you want to feel that freer again, but you can't cause nothin beats that rush of being free from $tr8.
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I learned something from livin' like that. $tr8 had severed all of my mental attachments and then I severed myself from $tr8...I had nothing and wanted for very little. There was a certain strength and peace of mind that I had. The only thing I feared was capture.
A-Men and A-Men