Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on June 11, 2006, 04:30:00 PM
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What makes it so easy for parents to give up thier responsibility as a Parent and to send thier child off to a program/school when there is trouble on the horizon..Do you not pay attention to your child?or listen to them?Notice changes in them or who thier friends are?I am a mom of 2 kids a 22yr old and a 15 yr old..I am my childrens best friend..and my now 22 yr old use to be one of the troubled kids..being violent,abusive,controlling you name it she was in that catogory..But not anymore because I stood my ground..I stood beside her..dealt with the root of the problem..and omitted the negitivity in her life and as she matured she realized what once was her so called life was not worth the anger and fight..it never entered my mind to send her off to a program..it was my job to see she made it through her tormented yrs..and I did and I do not regret one min.not to mention I am lucky I came out of it alive..as I was the brundt of all her anger meaning i was the one that she took her anger out on..And I was the one standing beside her and supporting her and I never gave up.And I would be ready to do it agian but Thankfully I see no signs in my 15yr old as of yet..My children know they can come to me about anything and everything and they do..I may not have the solution to thier problems but we communicate openly and honestly..I respect them and they Respect me.So to those parents that are going down the long distructive rd with thier teens...Don't give up on them Please..and please do not send them away to a program..They need you now more than ever..your teaching them that when times get tough to turn away..and Trust me I have wrked in a BMS and I would never want my child to endure the abuse that alot of kids do in these schools..it would sicken you.May Peace with you all going through Turmoil. :smile:
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For some parents trouble is no longer on the horizon...it's up close and personal. Every family/child/situation is different. Try not to judge- it's unbecoming to you.
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You hit on an important point, and that is that your children respect you. Parents who use programs gave up on their child respecting them, and chose to use fear in order to control their child's behavior. Of course this only works in the short termm, while they are in physical control of the child, and to a certain extent when the child returns home, as they still retain psychological influence based on extreme fear. It's both unhealthy and unproductive and has been proven to be ineffective many years ago.
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This is absolutely wrong in some cases.
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How can anyones child respect a parent for basically throwing in the towel through a rough time...Placing a child in a school/program only creates more distrust and anger and hostility..I saw it over and over when I wrked at the BMS...Oh and to the person that asked me not to be so judgmental...I do not judge anyone and Remember I have been where most parents are now..And it is No Party at the park..it is very heart breaking and hurtful...All I am saying is it is ok to ask for help from anyone..just not the so called Behavioral programs/schools...Hell if your gonna do that than you may as well ask the dog to help your son/daughter thats about how qualified they are in these facilitys.
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On 2006-06-11 13:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
"This is absolutely wrong in some cases. "
Great spin job, interesting form of english you use.
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I can see where the lady who opened this post is coming from. Having said thhat i dont think that judgement helps either. I feel for the parents of so called "troubled" teen because they have a media and an industry preying on their worst fears. There is a real need for cultural change
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I didn't say all. Some parents DON'T care.
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As far as I am concerned, parents (most parents that is), never give up their responsibility as a parent. I tried to stand my ground but it didn't work, everything got worse.My son's mental and physical abuse to me (just like his Father did to me). His Father and I have been divorced since 1992 and he is a "slacker Father", didn't support anything I did, in fact we only communicated by e-mail. His Father told me to hang in there (his Father at this time was only seeing our son (his choice)) 2-3 hours per week. My son has never respected me (his Father never did either). True, some parents don't care (I don't understand this at all), but I do care, and will always care about my son, and be there for him, if he asks for my help.
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Way to dodge the question... :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
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You've been divorced since 1992, and are still trying to blame the EX? Get the fuck over it lady. That's about 15 years ago.
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I'm not blaming the ex for anything. Just would have been nice and I think better if we could have agreed more on things for our son. It was the Fathers Russian wife who told our son's Father that she didn't want him in their house anymore, so he instead of standing up to her, he moved our son out of his house completely and our son only saw him on Thursday nights 1-3 hours per week. Also, how am I dodging the question?
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Gregg' out of the program; off to summer work; back on pot; and hopefully off to community college. Take you story elsewhere. No time to re-hash your whiny mess.
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On 2006-06-25 13:09:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Gregg' out of the program; off to summer work; back on pot; and hopefully off to community college. Take you story elsewhere. No time to re-hash your whiny mess.
"
:wstupid: :nworthy:
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I am not whinning about anything, just stating the truth. you know who I am, "Anonymous" why won't you reveal to me who you are??
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People look for the easy way out. Society has turned into mush by looking for the easy solution. Teachers in schools don't want to deal with "hyperactive" second and third graders so they brand them with ADHD and make them take pills such as Ritalin or Adderall to "curb" their "hyperactivity". Medicine and "revolutionary" programs are being developed to help "curb" the behavior of children and teens.
Sometimes, teens and children do have chemical inbalances just like adults. The occurance of these chemical inbalances is very low compared to those that use medication as a "quick fix" to a problem that involves controlling a child. Some things parents dont realise is that children will practice what they learn from people around them. It is parental responsibility along with teacher/school responsibility to help shape their childrens futures.
Human nature has basic survival instincts. These can include violence by way of killing to get food, obtaining shelter, and maintaining body heat. When the basic needs are not met, children flounder and try to compensate.
Activities such as Karate, video games, and various sports have positive qualities as well as negative consequences. Speaking from personal experience, I took Karate as a young child, I was subsequently pulled from the classes because I became outwardly violent and was harming my sister and family in the process. Such measures should be taken by parents if they notice similar behaviors. If you dont want your kid to experience raw violence, then limit their watching of rated R movies or rated MA video games. Parents need to establish early expectations for behavior and early consequences for poor behavior.
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Excuse me, but teachers do not diagnose students with ADHD etc or any other physical ailments; nor do teachers prescribe medications. Teachers are not licensed to practice medicine.
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On 2006-06-25 18:55:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Excuse me, but teachers do not diagnose students with ADHD etc or any other physical ailments; nor do teachers prescribe medications. Teachers are not licensed to practice medicine."
Well of course not moron. They're recommendation alone is very often enough to get a kid diagnosed and and scripted by a doc though.
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yup. My teacher in 5th grade suggested that i have ADD... which lead to my subsequent testing and diagnosis. which i dont believe for a second....
oh look
something shiny!!!!
.........
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On 2006-06-25 19:14:00, mbnh31782 wrote:
"yup. My teacher in 5th grade suggested that i have ADD... which lead to my subsequent testing and diagnosis. which i dont believe for a second....
oh look
something shiny!!!!
........."
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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1. Create vague diagnosis describing human condition
2. ???
3. Profit!
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I'm not a "moron" and I certainly would not expect, nor listen to some teacher trying to diagnose my child.
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On 2006-06-25 19:22:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I'm not a "moron" and I certainly would not expect, nor listen to some teacher trying to diagnose my child."
Sorry, ya came off kinda snotty with the 'excuse me?'.
Good for you. You seem to be a rare breed unfortunately.
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On 2006-06-25 18:55:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Excuse me, but teachers do not diagnose students with ADHD etc or any other physical ailments; nor do teachers prescribe medications. Teachers are not licensed to practice medicine."
Actually, teachers have been guilty of diagnosing kids, and school districts have threatened parents rights if they refuse to medicated their child based on the teacher's 'observations'.
Some Texans faught to change this. Several states followed suit. Teachers can no longer diagnose and district can't pressure parents to medicate.
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I truely meant it as a blanket obeservation of whats happening in schools...
2 scenarios
A. Teacher: your kid is acting up
Parent: oh really
Teacher: i think your kid has ADHD you should get medicine for him
Parent then goes talks to the doctor who prescribes without even diagnosing or without question to the parent.
or B. Teacher: your kid is acting up
Parent: oh really
Teacher: i think your kid has ADHD you should get medicine for him
Parent then goes talks to the doctor who DIAGNOSES then prescribes medicine.
Either way the kid ends up on some f***** up meds
[ This Message was edited by: mbnh31782 on 2006-06-25 20:32 ]
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I posted earlier. Most parents are more responsible with their children, and do not give teachers so much power over their children.
If a teacher even STARTED suggesting "medical diagnosis" with me--I would be SUGGESTING that my child be placed in another classroom immediately!
Granted, some parents may allow such behavior; but MOST parents would not stand by and allow a teacher to step outside such boundaries.
I know this does happen; and some parents are looking for a "quick fix," and you are correct--the child suffers.
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A couple of natural remidies for ADD, one is to eat chocolate covered expresso beans, for someone with ADD or ADHD, it does the opposite for them, helps to settle them down, and kiwi fruit is good as well. Go the natural way, without drugs and keep your son or daughter very busy! :smile:
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Perhaps it's not the kids who have a disorder.
Kids respond different to different educational approaches. Thats why some kids do really well in our public schools, but some kids just do not.
So whats a parent to do? What are the alternatives?
While I do not have kids, I wonder what I would do if one of my (hypothetical) kids fails to thrive in school.
Home school? Nah... I'm not really qualified, also the kid needs social interaction.
Hopefully, I will live in a city which has a multitude of private schools.
However, will this "private" education prepare my (hypothetical) child to enter the global job market?
In any event, should these hypothetical children become troublesome in any way, I cannot blame them, for I (HYPOTHETICALLY) AM THE PARENT! And it is MY responsiblity to nurture and care for them, so I must therefor examine MY parenting skills, rather than assuming that they are the ones who are dysfunctional. I think this is just part of being an adult.
Unless the child suffers from a legitimate organic disorder, it is the parents who need to change the way they do things.
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I'd first like to thank bandit for his assessment of this situation and am going to address some of his questions and proposals below.
Perhaps it's not the kids who have a disorder.
Quite true it can be environmental factors such as food choices and external stressors that can cause a kid to act the way he/she does. Parents or teachers may not be aware of what the child is going through that is causing the behavior. Behavior is a learned thing, one is not just "born" the way they become. One of the first things as a parent or educator with the children is to step back and analyze the influences in the childs life.
Kids respond different to different educational approaches. Thats why some kids do really well in our public schools, but some kids just do not.
This way of thinking (that not all child is the same) is very new in the school systems. Many more public and private school systems are beginning to remedy the "box" that they've been trying to stuff children in for years into new ways of thinking. Many elementary schools are progressing more towards the thought of combined group classes instead of deliniating grades. Unfortunately for the school systems, the United States Government is putting more constraints on teachers to teach the material in order for kids to regurgitate the information back on a piece of paper.
Currently there are "tests" that children must pass in order to move on to the next grade. All of this is done to "standardize" classrooms and make sure all the children are "learning" what they are supposed to without giving the teacher room for creative thinking in how to teach a concept. A special needs student, or one who just doesn't "get" a concept tends to slip through the cracks of the school system and is then "labeled."
So whats a parent to do? What are the alternatives?
There are several alternatives available to parents and students. Unfortunately many parents are quick to put a label on things and accept that there is only one answer to a problem. Its what they've been taught. When something doesnt fit in the "box" it doesnt belong.
Unless the child suffers from a legitimate organic disorder, it is the parents who need to change the way they do things.
Yes, I agree, there are some children out there with legitimate disorders and those do need to be addressed, whether it be with some form of medicine or modification to a program.
One thing parents do not seem to look into when considering any options is the diet of their children. Many foods contain sugar and other additives that can cause a child to have an adverse reaction. This is not to say that food is a complete determining cause, but it can be a factor.
Other factors can include things like bullies, test anxiety, social anxiety, and other external factors that children experience when they hit that awkward stage of "adolescence".
Adolescence should not be looked upon as a thing to be "fixed" or as a condition, but a normal part of growing and developing oneself into a fully functional human being. I recently viewed the documentary on Tranquility Bay and WWASPS and was absolutely truely appalled at what those children have gone through. It shows in their survivors who speak out against TB. I wonder how many are silenced through fear. It only strengthens my resolve to educate and inform.
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...Adolescence should not be looked upon as a thing to be "fixed" or as a condition, but a normal part of growing and developing oneself into a fully functional human being...
Wow, did you just hit the nail on the head! I think theres a lot of causes as to why kids get sent to these places, but that sentence sums up a lot of the reasons right there.
It seems like every other kid now days is being "diagnosed" with some sort of "disease" or problem with nice sounding acronyms like ADD and the like. Sure, a lot of kids have problems and some of them are psychological, but at the rate which the medical organizations in this country are suggesting??? The drug companies, who's commercials you just can't miss if you watch TV for 15 minutes, are getting richer and more powerful every day selling medications to doctors [read: prescription distributors] who are diagnosing kids left and right with ailments that never existed 10 or so years ago and, IMO, still don't.
Obviously there's a lot more to it than that; you have some parents who, in fact, simply don't want the responsibility of their kids because they get in the way of their careers or whatever. Others probably just follow their neighbors, so if little johnny next door gets sent to a boot-camp, then that should be good for little joey as well.
I'm just guessing here, but i think the major reason might be that parents simply don't know where to turn anymore. Things have gotten so bad with their kid that they're forced to do something drastic. That is what happened to me with my daughter. I didn't know anything about the abuse in this industry when i sent her off to a local facility, so luckily i had a very good juvenile councilor that gave me very good information and she ended up in a good facility. She is doing well BTW and is in collage now, but i shudder to think what might have happened had she been sent to a wwasp-like facility. I got very lucky. I'm a big fan of strict discipline and i think it should be required that every young adult of 18 do a stint in the military, however in no way do condone a military environment or a "tough love" environment for EVERY kid that has problems and that's what's happening here. Nor do i condone abuse in ANY form in ANY environment.
off-topic: looks like there's something wrong with the way the QUOTE tags are being parsed
also the time limit between posts shouldn't be in effect for edits.