Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Terryh on May 08, 2006, 03:55:00 PM
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Last year my 15 year old daughter was headed for disaster in a hurry. My wife and I couldn't find help anywhere and were desperate. I found a website called troubled teens and within days we were driving my daughter to Darrington Academy. After almost four weeks of not being able to sleep or eat we bargained to get our daughter back. We recognized that this was not a good place and worse than that kids were running away. It wasn't till I got her home that I heard about the horrible food and the lack of teachers. Because they require a 90 day notice, I got stuck with almost $18,000.00 of "student loan" debt to repay. Does anyone know of any resources to fight this? I am unable to help my son who is struggling in college because of this debt. I feel like a hit and run victim.
The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
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Who referred you to Darrington Academy?
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Speak to an attorney about causes of action. If your state has a high small claims limit say 10,000k you might want to file there. Speak to an attorney about subpeanaing as many documents as you can, everything known to mankind. If they don't want to pay you something, when your daughter goes on the stand call the press and see if they will cover it. Check out the laws on intentional infliction of emotional distress for your daughter, negligent child care, fraudulant inducement. Possibly by including some additional charges other than breach of contract they will want to limit their exposure. Not a lawyer.
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Just don't pay and let them sue YOU.
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I thought about not paying, however the "alleged company" that financed this is AES. Do you know if they are one in the same as the school itself? There are definitely items that I don't think they would want exposed. For example: Our first warning sign was when a three month supply of my daughter's medication (a narcotic)was gone in under three weeks. It was a pain medication for migraines and the only person that had access was the "nurse" who issued them to her as needed. Days before we decided to go get her, three girls ran away and were picked up by someone who fortunately didn't hurt them. Out in the middle of nowhere. The only thing that kept my wife and I from going crazy was knowing she was safe and that obviously wasn't the case.
Hear me people: We now have to deal with another race - small and feeble when our fathers first met them, but now great and overbearing. Strangely enough they have a mind to till the soil and the love of possessions is a disease with them. These people have made many rules which the rich may break but the poor may not. They take their tithes from the poor and weak to support the rich and those who rule.
Chief Sitting Bull, speaking at the Powder River Conference, 1877
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I was referred by a company called teen solutions.
In a desperate state I was searching the net for military schools for girls. (my parents always threatened me with that)
They made this academy sound like she was going to get help and get the highest possible education. Most importantly she was going to be away from her peers and SAFE.
She was in the school within days. We were straight with her and told her why we felt we had to do it. We were concerned that she would run away so my wife slept with her at night and I brought her to work with me. She actually looked forward to going because she wanted to make a change and get a higher education which turned out to be completely false. The legislature is to society as a physician is to the patient. If a physician ignored side effects of medications like today's legislators ignore the side effects of their legislation, the physician would be accused of malpractice. I accuse today's legislators (with rare exception) of legislative malpractice. Many of the ills that are so obvious in our society are a direct result of previous legislation. Their solution? More laws!
-- John A. Bennett, DO
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How quickly did this place approve your "student loan?"
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I'm pretty sure it was immediately. What I remember was the "counselor" that arranged for us to drop our daughter off handled everything.
As everyone else in this situation, you feel desperate and alone. When someone tells you they can help, you are quite willing.
AES seems to be a legitimate financial aid business, however there is nothing on their website that describes loans for this kind of education. I have an email into them now. I want to do the right thing and I don't want to pursue or punish those that aren't guilty. If they have already paid Darrington, I need to fight for them to be reimbursed.
I will probably have to sue.If you want a voluntary urine sample from me it'll have to be a taste test.
--Bumper Sticker
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Terry, the mistake was not sending here there, the mistake was pulling her out, the school would have been great for her!
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On 2006-05-24 11:30:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Terry, the mistake was not sending here there, the mistake was pulling her out, the school would have been great for her!"
You're nuts. WWASPS programs are terribly abusive. Physical , psychological and sexual abuse have all been reported, documented and proven. What a sick thing to recommend!
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Anonymous,
That's a new one. I'm usually getting blasted for not doing the research to learn more about these programs.
There were a couple of issues that I can't discuss that made me lose faith in the school. The kids are not safe, their not fed properly, they don't have controls on medication provided by parents and the education is all but non-existent.
I had hoped to get advice and help to avoid funding them any further, however it is a losing battle. All I can do at this point is try to educate parents before they do the same thing. Teens tend to grow out of their problems especially if they get a part time job. I don't think the WASPS are correcting behavior as much as nature and maturing is correcting the behavior.
In our state of mind at the time, I think we justified to ourselves what we had done. I accept responsibility for making a bad decision and I take responsibility for correcting it quickly.
There are better choices out there, at least try them first parents. In no instance have . . . the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.
--James Madison, U.S. President
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On 2006-05-26 07:05:00, Terryh wrote:
Teens tend to grow out of their problems especially if they get a part time job.
Funny, My teen got a part-time job and then had enough money to buy more drugs. Not to mention that he met all kids of "cool" older guys that helped him score.
Lalalala...waiting for them to grow up doesn't always work.
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Man, I'm sorry to hear that. They are all different. I have two older kids that I didn't have any real problems with, but this one has put me and my wife through the ringer. I know the feeling all too well. You think things are getting better and you get a call or find something and it's like getting deflated. You can feel your life leaving you.
Drugs are a different problem and one that we didn't have much problem with. What I know about drug abuse is people won't stop using until they hit rock bottom.
Again, I don't think that is your answer, but you won't get an argument from me either. I've played cop, judge and prison warden in my own home and I didn't like it. When I dropped my daughter off I was so mad, dissappointed and every other emotion you can have that I hoped that it would be the harshest environment possible. When I recovered from my own despair I was able to think it out better.
If you want to put your kid in a WASPS or if you already have done it, it's understandable. Just don't think it is going to fix him because it won't. It will get him off the streets and let the rest of your family breathe and that certainly helps. If the place is close enough to visit, I recommend you do it without calling ahead of time. Keep track of his weight as boys usually lose about 20 pounds and girls usually gain about 20 pounds because it makes it easier to keep control of them because they lose self confidence. Whatever grade he is in will be the grade he is in when he comes out because they don't actually educate teens. In my experience the school didn't have the staff to help so most kids just stare at a computer screen for hours. They can also get away pretty easily (most places) so don't think he is safe.
The problem is you are right, nobody cares about people like us. They think we are bad parents when our kids behavior goes in the toilet, but when we need help nobody is there. I find that there are a lot of parents that don't care at all and those are the kids that your child can hang with and have access to everything you try to avoid. People have suggested pshycologist and that isn't going to work. If your son tests positive for drugs there are other services. I work with someone that has a son in one and it's working very slowly, but working. It's about the same cost, but they see him at least once per week and he is now able to visit home for some weekends. There is a lot of interaction between the child and parent. WASPS use a method of isolation from the one thing the kid needs the most - Family.I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way.
--Robert Frost, American poet
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On 2006-05-26 07:53:00, Anonymous wrote:
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On 2006-05-26 07:05:00, Terryh wrote:
Teens tend to grow out of their problems especially if they get a part time job.
Funny, My teen got a part-time job and then had enough money to buy more drugs. Not to mention that he met all kids of "cool" older guys that helped him score.
Lalalala...waiting for them to grow up doesn't always work."
When your son got a job did you ask him to start paying for his car, food, clothes, rent, and other expenses? I doubt it. Waiting for them to grow up might not always work, but sending them to a gulag NEVER works.
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On 2006-05-26 07:53:00, Anonymous wrote:
...waiting for them to grow up doesn't always work."
Actually, most of the time it does. It's only an infantesimally small percentage that don't grow out of it. It's just frustrating, inconvenient and scary for the parents which makes them easy targets for the scam artists.
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Thanks Terry,
Yes, I do understand. I have two children very close in age. The older has had significant problems, the younger still overachieving and trying desperately not to be a problem- We, fortunately, did not choose a WWASP school but rather another less restrictive boarding alternative- but a TBS none the less. He's been through a year of college with great sucess. Our family feels no guilt- only relief. Our son seems to have his life put back together. Drugs were only an issue for a couple of weeks- sort of the last cry for help/change. We had tried everything,-indiv. counseling,family counseling, out-patient, numerous Outward Bound types of programs- Nothing seemed to work. He turned 18 during his first month at school and fortunately decided to finish, graduate and go to college. And, (before all the fireworks begin) he was given a choice to stay home. The academics were actually fairly good where he went so he was aacepted to the college of his choice. Unfortunately, there are not enough "good" alternatives out there. I'm sorry you went the WWASP route. A local psychiatrist recommended the school we chose. I dare not say the name- it just inflames the group here.
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That is an excellent point. Real life includes paying expenses. Even if you believe in what they do at that place, it's going to delay getting started at being self-sufficient. When you institutionalize anyone, they go backwards in develpment.
Obviously in this forum, you won't get a pat on the back for putting your kid in one of these holes, but you will get some facts. Inmates in prisons get better attention and care than "students" at these gualgs. (I guess that is appropriate)
I want you to know that some of the biggest supporters of these schools are now aggressively fighting their existence. I have exchanged emails with other parents that have had their kids mistreated. Don't do it!!! Don't let yourself feel the regret that we do!!!
I pulled my daughter out 4 weeks into the program a year to the day today. Tonight we're going to catch a college baseball tournament. Does she still do dumb things? You bet! Will I miss another day with her? Not a chance!Freedom has a thousand charms to show, That slaves, howe'er contented, never know.
William Cowper, a British Christian poet & hymn writer (18th century)
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I live in a state with some laws that have good intentions, but become barriers from help. We were on our own to figure this out and because the behavior went from bad to extremely dangerous we went too fast and made a bad choice. I'm not talking about smoking dope, I'm talking about someone being murdered. My daughter would have been there had I not gotten a call from school that day and went to talk to the dean. Because she was skipping a class, she was on restriction when her group was involved in murdering one's grandmother. She could have snuck out, but I checked the security contacts on her window and found that she disabled it and I was able to fix it.
For any of you "victims" that want to jump on parents for making these rash decisions, try to walk in our shoes. We could all just ignore the problem, but we choose to try to help others avoid the mistake. We won't be successful if you bash visitors and you make us not want to fight for this cause. Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor
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I really am happy for you. I know I got "lucky" during a time of fear, vulnerability and ignorance. Fortunately my son found the whole experience challenging- in a good way. Did he love it there? No. But, he's happy that our relationship was strengthened BECAUSE he was away- I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I don't need validation on a forum. But, I do like to speak from time to time about doing your homework and not chosing a program known for abuse.
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That's how I feel Terry.
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The inability for your child to call you when he or she has an emergency or need is the biggest problem. Even if it works, great, now what? The school won't call you and say, "hey your child should come back home due to excellent progress" They would lose big $$$$.
I don't have the answers, but I know for sure that WWASPS shouldn't be allowed to operate simply because they are run by people that are not qualified in any area that they claim to be experts. "One commentator pointed out that when the mafia commits violence, no
one suggests we bomb Sicily. Today it seems we are, in a symbolic way, not only bombing "Sicily," but are thinking about bombing "Athens" (Iraq)."
Ron Paul, 11/29/01 Speech before Congress
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I feel very fortunate also. Based on what I have learned here about various places, I was lucky in my choosing. I would suggest to other parents to do a lot of research before choosing a TBS. My daughter and her relationships with myself and her family improved tremendously and she got back on track with her life.
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With all due respect, they are all abusive in some manner. You did get lucky and your son was capable of overcoming small levels of abuse.
How long was he in for?
I'm interested to see results of those that have done a full year or more versus those that got the "shock value", but weren't in long enough to be hurt.You know, too many weirdos out there. At least with you people I know WHY you are weird!!!
Kady
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My son was in 15 months. He turned 19 a week before his graduation in late summer. For him, leaving may have meant even more time in High School or just getting a GED. He was fortunately satisfied to finish something he had started and wanted to go to the college that had accepted him based on sucessful completion of the program.
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On 2006-05-26 10:43:00, Terryh wrote:
"With all due respect, they are all abusive in some manner.
With all due respect (and I'm not being a smart ass) ALL High Schools are abusive. That's what had him spinning out of control in the first place.
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I am going to disappear now because I have a plane to catch. We're flying out to get our son and bring him back home for the summer. Have a good weekend, all.
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I have a problem with postings saying WWASP is BAD BAD BAD...SO, if you place your child in a non-WWASP facility, than that may just fine.
That is not just fine.
Other programs are very abusive too.
This is how referring companies like PURE operate: Filling websites with ANTI-WWASP, and then referring children to abusive facilities like Whitmore Academy.
Parents must be very careful.
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On 2006-05-08 12:55:00, Terryh wrote:
" Because they require a 90 day notice, I got stuck with almost $18,000.00 of "student loan" debt to repay. Does anyone know of any resources to fight this? IThe line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either, but right through every human heart.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
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Sounds to me like they were in breach of their contract with you to provide adequate care and education -- I think I would tell them to go pound sand. If they want to come after you get a lawyer...
My son is in a well run program -- so I am not a program basher but if you didn't get what they advertised then you should not have to pay... My son's school has no "minimum" and I pay with the credit card just in case I need to dispute the charge.
I'd have a nice lawyer write a nasty letter and tell them that if they go any further with this or attempt to damage your credit you are going to counter sue them for fraud amoung other things.
If Darrington needs to reimburse the finance company so be it.. they have plenty of money and remember these were not actual damages... it takes two to make a contract.
Good luck
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And of course on this thread we have TheWho and the anonymous brigade claiming to have "success" in another program.
It's a lie, pure and simple.
If the kid's real, he'll eventually learn to hate you.