Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on May 07, 2006, 04:53:00 AM
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I'm amazed at all the web material available. . I last searched
several years ago now and there was nothing.My straight hell was in
st pete in 88 or 89 it might be too hard to figure out which year.My
memory has done odd things with that time in my life.I want to say I
already feel relieved to . . not feel so alone anymore.The coolest
part so far ,besides being able to talk at other survivors is the
material about what they do to the parents.My realtionship with my
mother is chaotic at best as I am never really open with her about
everything. . partly because I have a me that blames her and partly
because I see how much she tortures herself and cannot bear to hurt
other beings similar to myself although when I describe my
experiences at straight to anyone they are horrified that I have NOT
turned all the torture back on the world.I was 13 during my stay,my
mom an alcoholic and was not found to be on drugs during my
intake.Unfortunately like most young people,I did too much shit
talking for my own good and had previously convinced my poor
alcoholic mother that I had already experimented with several
drugs.Ha!So of course you all know the only logical position taken
toward me,at the time the youngest person there. . .YOU'RE IN DENIAL
YOU'RE A LIAR so on and so forth.I tried to bs cuz i wanted out but i
was always faking and everybody could laser-eye out my lies so that
wasn't going to work.I had the strong host home parents try their
methods . .witholding food, pb diet and I had the f-ing staffer from
hell bitch who accused me of this that and the other gamey with this
one daydreaming and anything else i coud get spit on for.when the
restrainings came after about 2 weeks it was almost a welcome outlet
as sometimes, if i was lucky ,i could claw at somebody before getting
taken down all the while laughing like a hyena at the irony,
protesting my innocence until my mouth was covered.my contacts were
neglected, as straight wouldn't give me my special formula crap for
them so i had to take them out and be literally blind for 2
months.the entire 7 months i was there excepting the first 2 week
attempt at fitting in,i misbehaved and conspired to create as many
others especially boys as i could.at 13 i couldn't figure out
anywhere or anyone to call if i should cop out although i wanted to.
but it delt so good that everyone was so bothered by my actions i
just had make myself a rock, ya know?finally i figured out that not
all the outside docs, when you could go that is. . were cool with the
oldcomer thing so in a fraction of a sec of no one watching me too
close,i got a bunch of deoderant in my eyes.boy did that suck but it
kept getting noticably worse until they had to send me somewhere.my
ma had to be there too and it only took one second of her looking at
me telling her that i never did drugs and she believed me!!!she
promised to get me out as soon as she could.i think i thought it was
all a dream by the time she came for me, but my eyes demanded i wear
sunglasses and my perception of reality by that time was not so
good.they came and told me i had to go to the state mental hospital
and my mom was going to take me but she took me home instead.do you
remember what outside felt like (anyone who never got off 1st phase)
and how weird it was when people just talked to you like you were
normal?needless to say my days of normal were over by then.i didn't
talk for at least a month and still 17 years later am parylyzed with
no warning sometimes by these memories that seem like they were
yesterday.my mom told me of the trouble she went thru to get me out
but i don't know if i ever really believed her until today when i
searched for straight again. . .
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I was in the Springfield, VA program from 3/85-2/87 and it sucked the whole time. I copped out 4 times and misbehaved for a couple months but eventually graduated under the threat of serving jail time. There was just no escape for me. My parents were convinced/duped into believin' that $tr8 was the only thing that could save me from jails, institutions and death. :smile: