Fornits

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on April 27, 2006, 03:52:00 PM

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Anonymous on April 27, 2006, 03:52:00 PM

With special guest Madonna.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 03:53:00 PM

Oh hi, Bert, whatcha doin'?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 03:54:00 PM

Nothin' Ernie, what's going on?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 03:55:00 PM

I heard they're scripting us out with a murder-suicide.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 03:56:00 PM

So we're really going out with a bang?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 03:56:00 PM

Make that two bangs, Bert.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 03:57:00 PM

The ratings will be off the charts.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 03:58:00 PM

I wonder if we'll trump Madonna?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:00:00 PM

You'll never trump me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:01:00 PM

You want in on it, don't you.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:01:00 PM

Fuck yeah I want in on it. I'm gonna make out with Ernie.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:02:00 PM

Let me know how you make out.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:03:00 PM

Sure, honey. Let's go backstage.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:04:00 PM

No no no! That's not what I meant!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:05:00 PM

May I commend you on your many years of deadpan, Bert.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:06:00 PM

And I, you, on your mischievous snicker.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:08:00 PM

[wipes away a tear]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:09:00 PM

So who's killing who?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:10:00 PM

Whom.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:11:00 PM

You're killing me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:12:00 PM

Oh goody.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:13:00 PM

No no no! That's not what I meant!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:14:00 PM

[as Opie Taylor] Aw, don't let's fight, Bert, seein' as how it's our last show before our last show.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:15:00 PM

[as Barney Fife] Why, you're a smart little fellow, now ain'tcha, Opie.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:15:00 PM

[as Ernie] I say we keep going, Thelma.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:16:00 PM

I wanna be Louise.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:17:00 PM

Yeah, he's totally a Louise.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:18:00 PM

I do like snickers.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:18:00 PM

You're killing me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:19:00 PM

Oh goody.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:20:00 PM

We did this already.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:21:00 PM

We're suicidal.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:22:00 PM

Do that Opie Taylor thing again.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:22:00 PM

I can't, I feel mopey.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:23:00 PM

Aw, don't cry, Ernie.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:23:00 PM

[as The Beaver] Don't worry, Wally, I was just actin' sad, to cheer you up.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:24:00 PM

[As Wally Cleaver] You sure are actin' sweet today, Beaver. So whaddaya want?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:25:00 PM

[as The Beaver] Aw shucks, Wally, well I guess since you already found me out and all, well, see, me and a couple of the guys, we wanna go see the nudie picture show. You wouldn't mind giving us a lift a whole awful lot, now wouldja Wally?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:26:00 PM

[as Wally Cleaver] Okay, sure Beaver, I'll give you a lift, for half your loot of nudie magazines.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:27:00 PM

[as The Beaver] Gee, Wally, that's a awful lotta loot for one ride. How 'bout you can have five of my scratch-and-sniff nudie magazines.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:28:00 PM

[as Wally Cleaver] Okay, it's a deal. But they better have some sniff left in 'em, or no deal.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:30:00 PM

[as The Beaver] May I commend you on your many years of deadpan, Wally.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:31:00 PM

[as Bert] And I, you, on your mischievous snicker.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:32:00 PM

Cut that out, Bert, they're killing us.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:33:00 PM

Who's they?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:33:00 PM

They who?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:35:00 PM

Who is correct?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:37:00 PM

Who is correct.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:37:00 PM

I am.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:38:00 PM

No no no! That's not what I meant!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:38:00 PM

You're killing me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:39:00 PM

A double murder, I like it.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:40:00 PM

I'll instigate!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:40:00 PM

You're like the Empress Instigator.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:41:00 PM

I AM the Empress Instigator.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:42:00 PM

I AM the Empress Instigator.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:44:00 PM

Imitating me now? I'll kill you. [bang]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:45:00 PM

[as The Beaver] Gosh, Madonna, now look what you've gone and done. There's just no takin' that back.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:45:00 PM

[pee stain appears on pants leg.]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:46:00 PM

You're cute, I think I'll keep you.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:47:00 PM

[as The Beaver] uh, okay Madonna. Say Madonna, me and a couple of the guys, we wanna go see the nudie picture show. You wouldn't mind giving us a lift a whole awful lot, now wouldja Madonna?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:48:00 PM

[as Wally Cleaver] You're a fink, Beaver Cleaver, a real fink.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:50:00 PM

I just killed you.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:50:00 PM

Nope. Still here.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:51:00 PM

[bang]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:52:00 PM

Still not dead.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:53:00 PM

Sneaky bastard. Let's see if it works on Ernie. [bang]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:54:00 PM

[keels over]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:54:00 PM

oops.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:55:00 PM

Well this is awkward.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:56:00 PM

He'll come to in a minute, the puppets always rise again.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:56:00 PM

Hey look, I'm not dead anymore!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 04:57:00 PM

Behold.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 04:58:00 PM

Just as thou hadtht prophesied, it hath come to pass.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 04:59:00 PM

[farts] Oh, pardon me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:00:00 PM

He hadth passed gas.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:00:00 PM

He walks in an aura, and all are humbled before him.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:01:00 PM

[belches]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:02:00 PM

Does anybody have any sodium bicarbonate?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:02:00 PM

[as Elaine Bennes] yada, yada, yada, let's do bong hits.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:03:00 PM

[takes a massive bong hit]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:04:00 PM

[takes a massive bong hit]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:04:00 PM

[takes a massive bong hit]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:05:00 PM

[blows out a big cloud of marijuana smoke]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:05:00 PM

[blows out a big cloud of marijuana smoke]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:06:00 PM

[blows out a big cloud of marijuana smoke]

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:06:00 PM

[snickers] I snuck back from the dead and did bong hits with Madonna! I'm like king of the world now!

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:07:00 PM

You're like Jesus.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:08:00 PM

Oh, far out, man. Ernie is Jesus. Wow.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:08:00 PM

Be prepared for a looong couple of milleniums up ahead.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:09:00 PM

Dude, you're channeling prophets.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:10:00 PM

I'm like Jesus' favorite disciple, Miles.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:10:00 PM

I don't think they had a Miles.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:11:00 PM

Yes, Miles, my favorite disciple.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:12:00 PM

There was no Miles.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:12:00 PM

There was a Miles.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:13:00 PM

Didn't he get a book?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:14:00 PM

There is no Book of Miles, trust me.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:14:00 PM

I don't think he ever wrote one.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:15:00 PM

One of these days, I'm gonna write a gospel. I'll think I'll call it, "The Gospel According to Miles".

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:23:00 PM

huh.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:23:00 PM

huh.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:24:00 PM

yeah.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:25:00 PM

yeah.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Bert on April 27, 2006, 05:26:00 PM

Well, I guess it's a wrap.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: ernie on April 27, 2006, 05:28:00 PM

ulp. Well I guess that's it for the last show before the last show.

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Madonna on April 27, 2006, 05:29:00 PM

[as Elaine Bennes] Does anybody have any Milk Duds?

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Botched Programming on April 27, 2006, 05:56:00 PM

Quote

On 2006-04-27 14:14:00, Madonna wrote:

"There is no Book of Miles, trust me."

Marlboro has a book of miles. :smokin:

Title: R.I.P. Bert and Ernie
Post by: Anonymous on April 27, 2006, 10:35:00 PM

KEEP GOING MAN THIS IS REALLY GOOD SHIT