Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => The Troubled Teen Industry => Topic started by: Anonymous on February 20, 2006, 10:58:00 PM
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I was just wondering how many of you were depressed and anxious before attending the facility you went to, and how many this is still a problem for? In what ways, if any, do you feel the facility exacerbated the symptoms? (I'm asking about facility that were harsh and punitive- like with shaming, fear, etc)
I suffer from both, but also found myself (even more so than in my teen and pre-teen years) that I developed a sort of anxiety, panic attacks occasionally, but mostly a general anxiety in public? I wondered just how common this was for any of you?
Thanks
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I did have some depression as a teenager, before going to Provo Canyon School. I believe this was mostly due to my situation at home, as I had a lot of issues with my mother.
This was nothing compared to the PTSD-like symptoms I experienced upon leaving PCS.
The first few years I was out, I experienced severe anxiety and crying spells. I was "shell-shocked".
A few years later, I realized that PCS was in fact a harmful, detrimental place. I saw that there was a reason for all the nightmares, crying, and general feelings of confusion. After that, I did feel better. I also felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted from me, and that was great.
A few years after that, I began studying psychology and sociology at college. I saw how incompetent the PCS "daily living" unit staff are. (they are not required to have any college education).
Then I went to nursing school, where I learned about these things on a "professional" level, and then I just became angry.
I was particuarly irate at my parents, for not doing their homework before sending me there (to their credit, there was no internet back then, and they are not medical professionals. Also, my mother has apologized profusely). I just think they should have investigated more thoroughly, before commiting me there, and also that they should have been more keen to the signs of abuse and all the "red flags" and the dysfunction of the program.
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I'm pretty sure that you can't get clinical depression from an experience. I'm sure a traumatic event can exacerbate the problem, though, or bring about an episode.
Obviously, PTSD is different.
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On 2006-02-21 04:29:00, sorry... try another castle wrote:
"I'm pretty sure that you can't get clinical depression from an experience. I'm sure a traumatic event can exacerbate the problem, though, or bring about an episode.
Obviously, PTSD is different.
"
Sounds like you have a bad case of the IPST Syndrom(Im Pretty Sure That)
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You may have had a genetic pre-disposition
to depression, and/or PTSD.
One quick way to check is to research your
family tree and see if anyone has a mental
illness.
It is just interesting though, and doesn't
really change you analysis, or treatment
choices.
If one has the pre-disposition to a mental
illness the onset can occur if triggered.
Certainly your experience could have triggered
the depression, and a negative, hopeless
experience would be the foundation for
PTSD.
Check out the literature, there is plenty.
Both psychiatry and alternative.
See what makes sense for you, check it out,
if it works continue. If your treatment
choice doesn't switch until you find help.
Don't suffer though, give treatment a try,
you will get better.
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Thank you all for such supportive responces!
Def have a family history of depression and I'm guessing I have been more of less chronically depressed since age 12 or possibly 11?
It was around that time that- this is personal, I was sent away from home and at, while at my grandma's some older guy forced me to give him a bj. It wasn't all that, it was everything, unfamiliar environment, not being allowed to communicate with my closest friends, feeling abandoned...ultimately, sent and subsequently kicked out of baording school, then sent to hell school in MT through me for a loop that I'm sensing, even after 8 years, I have not recovered from yet.
Does anyone know what's the best 'therapy' for depression and social anxiety...? Oh, and really low self-esteem :wink:
thanks
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That will be your choice based on
what you experience as you try
different therapies.
You should probably go in for an
evaluation by a psychiatrist. They
will suggest what type of therapist
can assist you.
Meds may or may not be indicated,
the psychiatrist will go over that
also, it is still your choice.
On the alternative side, the largest
organized group is Safe Harbor.
http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/ (http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/)
They are run by individuals who are
Scientologist, but they state that
Safe Harbor is not a Scientologist
organization.
I don't know of any other well organized
alternative referrals for you.
If you have any more questions, just
post them.
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On 2006-02-21 04:29:00, sorry... try another castle wrote:
"I'm pretty sure that you can't get clinical depression from an experience. I'm sure a traumatic event can exacerbate the problem, though, or bring about an episode.
Obviously, PTSD is different.
"
Different how? I was depressed before the program. I was a frustrated, hopeless, resigned sort of depression. See, my family got wrapped up and torn up in the TOUGHLOVE hategroup when I was just a little kid. I leaned well and good that all the things that attend adolescence were bad and evil. As a little kid, getting picked on, bested and/or excluded from my older brothers' and sisters' world, I jumped right on that train. It was vindictive, I know that now. But I was just a little kid. I didn't know better. When I got to be a budding adult woman, I started to realize what an ass I had been and how I had painted myself into an untennable corner.
I was desparate. I could no longer hide my desire to have friends and romantic attention, but I couldn't see my way clear through another couple of years of being the good little honorary Seedling, either.
So yeah, I was depressed and totally isolated, alone in any crowd. I was afraid of Seedlings, who I then believed had telepathic abilities to see me for a fraud. And I dared not make any meaningful connection with non Seedlings either. They might tell or someone might find out and report me for associating w/ druggies. Worse? They might just be my friend and land up in the Twilight Zone along w/ me in recompance for their kindness to me. Some did. My best friend growing up, maybe a few other school mates.
I think most of us who had tweaks and issues beforehand can owe it to pre-program neuroses in our parents; the same ones that made them such plum marks for the hucksters in the first place.
There are a great many questions concerning The Seed that need to be answered. Both the methods of "obtaining" Seedlings and the method of indoctrination need to be aired so that all can see how close 1984 really is.
John Henninger Attorneys and Counselor at Law, Clearwater, FL
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Here is another referral for an alternative
methodology:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0972893814/ (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0972893814/)
Treating & Beating Anxiety And Depression: With Orthomolecular Medicine -- by Rodger H. Murphree
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On 2006-02-22 00:31:00, Eudora wrote:
"
On 2006-02-21 04:29:00, sorry... try another castle wrote:
"I'm pretty sure that you can't get clinical depression from an experience. I'm sure a traumatic event can exacerbate the problem, though, or bring about an episode.
Obviously, PTSD is different.
"
Different how? I was depressed before the program. I was a frustrated, hopeless, resigned sort of depression. See, my family got wrapped up and torn up in the TOUGHLOVE hategroup when I was just a little kid. I leaned well and good that all the things that attend adolescence were bad and evil. As a little kid, getting picked on, bested and/or excluded from my older brothers' and sisters' world, I jumped right on that train. It was vindictive, I know that now. But I was just a little kid. I didn't know better. When I got to be a budding adult woman, I started to realize what an ass I had been and how I had painted myself into an untennable corner.
I was desparate. I could no longer hide my desire to have friends and romantic attention, but I couldn't see my way clear through another couple of years of being the good little honorary Seedling, either.
So yeah, I was depressed and totally isolated, alone in any crowd. I was afraid of Seedlings, who I then believed had telepathic abilities to see me for a fraud. And I dared not make any meaningful connection with non Seedlings either. They might tell or someone might find out and report me for associating w/ druggies. Worse? They might just be my friend and land up in the Twilight Zone along w/ me in recompance for their kindness to me. Some did. My best friend growing up, maybe a few other school mates.
I think most of us who had tweaks and issues beforehand can owe it to pre-program neuroses in our parents; the same ones that made them such plum marks for the hucksters in the first place.
There are a great many questions concerning The Seed that need to be answered. Both the methods of "obtaining" Seedlings and the method of indoctrination need to be aired so that all can see how close 1984 really is.
John Henninger Attorneys and Counselor at Law, Clearwater, FL
"
I meant it was different in that PTSD, which is a chemical, physical disorder of the brain (like depression), is caused by a traumatic event, which actually changes the chemistry of the brain, as opposed to clinical depression, which is normally not created by any specific event, (but can be exacerbated by one.) and often preexists any sort of trauma the person may experience, since the disorder is normally present at birth. (but doesn't often manifest itself until puberty.)
Or at least, that's how one of my old shrinks described it.
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I went in the program sort of depressed I guess. I was much more reserved and polite. When I left I was much more depressed and anxious but most of all PISSED OFF.
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A few things that always make me feel good are exercise (a good jog on the treadmill with my Ipod, and also swimming- particuarly in a natural body of water), as well as yoga and meditation.
When I exercise reguarly, I can really feel the endorphines (or whatever chemical) throughout the day, which feels like the opposite of depression.
Yoga seems to release negativity from my body, and meditation helps me to be calm and grounded.
If I do get really, really upset about something (animal cruelty and fur farms), I might take a small dose of xanax to relax. (If you are having panic attacks, or become hysterical sometimes, tell your doctor about it).
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In my own experience, playing sports has been really good for dealing with this shit. I joined the rugby team my first year at college. Every day I got to throw myself (literally, through the air in some cases) into practice. It's so intense you can't help but feel good when it's over. Imagine putting that favorite counselor's face on the body of the guy you're about to slam face first into the dirt. Imagine that instead of sitting there and taking it, you had a chance to slam one of those fuckers to the ground and stomp all over their worthless torso. It's one of the most gratifying things I've ever experienced. And since everyone else on the field is exorcising their own demons, everyone knows what's going on, and there are no hard feelings after the game. In fact, it's the only sport I've ever played where everyone gets drunk together on the field as soon as the game is over. To be able to get all that shit out, play an awesome game, and make new friends in the process has done a lot to help me get over the trauma of my stay at the Academy At Swift River. It also helped that by joining the rugby team, I was meeting people who are just as crazy as me, for whatever their reasons. Rather than join the tennis team and have people be scared of my anger, I joined the rugby team and had people cheering me on when I tapped into it. My advice to anyone struggling after a stay in an institution is to find something visceral and intense, something you love that lets you get out your anger safely and physically, that is self affirming and positive. For me it's rugby, for others it might be martial arts, boxing, raquetball, weightlifting, etc. All I'm saying is that part of the process of recovering from these places is to engage in activities that reaffirm your self esteem, by using your pain as fuel for something positive. Find something where those feelings of rage and desperation are an asset, giving you that extra strength of will to push on where others give up. The recognition, respect, friendship, and support that can come from joining a sports team can be a wonderful thing for some, in addition to fostering self respect and confidence with tangible accomplishments, which is the most important aspect. Whatever you choose to do, whether it's solitary or with a group, the important thing is that by getting those endorphins going, you'll feel better physically, and by getting that anger out, you'll feel better mentally. When you see just how much you're capable of you'll only feel better about yourself. That's my 2 cents on this one.
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Go find a MMA school... just promise you wont kill someone youre training with becuase he looked like someone form ASR - killing your trianing partners doenst help you in the long run :grin:
Ive done it, great fun!
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I used to do Tai Chi, but my knees are so screwed up now (I have no idea why) that whenever I try to do forms, all I hear is cracking and I feel quite a bit of pain.
It sucks, because I would really like to get back in shape, so I can resume telemark skiing again.
That was the only positive thing I got out of RMA... an addiction to free-heeling. That school made me a total "pinhead."
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Here are two great resource links:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/ptsdmenu.cfm (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/ptsdmenu.cfm)
Depression
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformati ... onmenu.cfm (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/healthinformation/depressionmenu.cfm)
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Ginger said something interesting"
"And I dared not make any meaningful connection with non Seedlings either."
So, for a long time I felt isolated and alone and perpetuated it b/c not only had a not been able to exercise normal socializing skills, but all the psychological coercion started to mess with me...I thought everything was bad and evil that did not fit the program- which was like an extension of AA, but of course worse b/c it was 12 steps based so I feared alcohol, pot, etc AND typical teen things like wearing clothes that at the school were considered an 'image' and feared just in general other kids b/c of what I might 'slip back' into... My point is, all that anxiety, fear and isolation contributed to me feeling depressed.
PLus the nightmares of being sent back were hard to get through initially...fearing people are wathcing you- not in a schizophrenic sense, but that people are going to be able to read me and think I'm 'fucked up'..and b/c fucked up was what was not the program, which was mostly normal stuff I was left unsure and doubting EVERYTHING. ugh, I still have that a lot, it makes life difficult. Maybe I will start exercising...rugby, eh? I like the martial arts approach. Thanks for the ideas!
best- kat
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On 2006-02-21 04:29:00, sorry... try another castle wrote:
"I'm pretty sure that you can't get clinical depression from an experience. I'm sure a traumatic event can exacerbate the problem, though, or bring about an episode.
Obviously, PTSD is different.
"
Yes, you can get an episode of depression from an experience or event. To call it "clinical depression" merely means that it meets the criteria in the DSM-IV for an episode of depression.
Anyone can have an episode of clinical depression in response to life events.
"Major depression" is different. Major depression is when a patient has multiple, chronic, recurring episodes of clinical depression through their lifetime.
"Major depression" can also have its initial episode come in response to an experience or event, or subsequent episodes can be triggered by an experience or event.
Clinical depression means, among other things, that the symptoms persist for three weeks to six months. For some unknown reason, episodes of depression do not seem to last more than six months at a whack. Go figure.
Psychologists believe that people who develop major depression have a combination of a genetic vulnerability and some environmental triggering factor.
Anyway, yes, an otherwise psychologically normal person can have a one-off episode of clinical depression result from a sufficiently traumatic experience or event.
Julie
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That's what they taught us in school, anyway. There's so much research in abnormal psychology all the time that how they classify things and describe things changes.
Julie
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Thanks for clarifying that. It makes a lot of sense. I was confusing clinical depression with major depression.
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Wow, looking back at my experience at Provo Canyon, I keep remembering and realizing things, and the picture looks worse and worse.
I recall that my main diagnosis was "major depression" or "depression, major".
The fact is, I had never had any sort of chronic depression, nor recurring depression, nor serious depressive episodes.
Nor did I ever state that I had experienced these symptoms.
I don't understand how they could have actually come up with this diagnosis for me.
Sure, I rebelled against my parents sometimes, didn't want to go to Catholic church, hung out with people my mother didn't approve of, and skipped class sometimes because I found it boring. But real, clinical depression? No way! Not even close.
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That last post was from me.