Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Deprogrammed on December 20, 2005, 09:52:00 PM
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I am not doing well lately or feeling well at all!
Thoughts opinions are fine with me.
I think I am just hating life lately, and it is unlike me to be this down, usually I can snap myself back up out of it, but I guess I just don't see the "light at the end of the tunnel" at this point.
warm regards to all,
-DPThe spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force.
--Thomas Jefferson
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figures that I would be alone with this too......just not my day today apparently
From the bottom of any large organization looking up through the ranks, human greed and stupidity look a lot like a conspiracy.
--S. Gilbert
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Yo.
But what is there to say...?? The world is tough. It's a tough life.
You got to look around you and see...see the world thru a childs eyes, or put on some good music with a lot of struggle in it and let that be your medicine.
That's my only advice right now.
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On 2005-12-20 19:24:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:
"Yo.
But what is there to say...?? The world is tough. It's a tough life.
You got to look around you and see...see the world thru a childs eyes, or put on some good music with a lot of struggle in it and let that be your medicine.
That's my only advice right now.
"
Thanks I know your intentions are good...but those things are not helping right now fro some reason.Under the benign influence of our republican institutions, and the maintenance of peace with all nations whilst so many of them were engaged in bloody and wasteful wars, the fruits of a just policy were enjoyed in an unrivaled growth of our faculties and resources.
James Madison
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Yeah...I didn't think they really would. Cumulative stress, huh? ...yeah, I got a lotta stress too. Maybe someone else can relate...
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Fuck...I'm depressed now...I'm goin' ta bed.
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feeling not quite like myself lately anymore.....hard for me to explain I guess.
Normally I do the music thing and it helps, normally I do tell myself good things to help myself feel better but lately they are not working anymore and I am trying to figure out why.I think what makes stepcraft survivors different is that we have participated in the Asch Experiment writ large, and know what we (and others)are capable of in that situation.
Johnny G.
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I going to bed too now ....I hope I can sleep, I have not been sleeping well lately at all.
I hope that ye sleep well pirate...thanks for at least responding and trying to help me I do appreciate it.
-DPIn any civilized society, it is every citizen's responsibility to obey just laws. But at the same time, it is every citizen's responsibility to disobey unjust laws.
--Martin Luther King
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sleep well.
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On 2005-12-20 18:52:00, Deprogrammed wrote:
"I am not doing well lately or feeling well at all!
Thoughts opinions are fine with me.
I think I am just hating life lately, and it is unlike me to be this down, usually I can snap myself back up out of it, but I guess I just don't see the "light at the end of the tunnel" at this point."
Well, having also been deep in depression (since finding info on Straight) for a few months, which is also not like me at all, I know how much depression sucks. I wish I had a magic answer for you. I just starting seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in the past few weeks. I know counseling is helping me...but I am not saying that is the answer for you. Christmas has helped me alot too, cause decorating and stuff like that cheers me up. So, I guess I would say, try doing something that always makes you happy, even if you arent in the mood to, and keep doing stuff that usually makes you happy, even if you dont feel it cheering you up at first. Just an idea, dont know if it would help.
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A stint at the New, Improved, All-Ages Straight, Inc-By-The-Sea (SIBS) is no doubt just what the Doctor ordered..
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On 2005-12-20 20:24:00, Dr. Miller Newton wrote:
"A stint at the New, Improved, All-Ages Straight, Inc-By-The-Sea (SIBS) is no doubt just what the Doctor ordered.."
Yikes! I think that would drive poor DP into a much deeper depression! Any doctor that orders SIBS clearly should have his license revoked! Oh that's right I forgot, you're a wannabe doctor with a fake degree. :roll:
Perhaps SIBS will help you get honest about your lack of credentials Doctor Newton. :em:
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I can remember being as young as 6 or 7 and telling someone I was depressed. It was a summer camp counselor. Weird experience, Kiddie Kollege, now that I think of it. That was around the time Seed culture really started to overshadow everything and these were long haired hippie FAU students. They were all nice to us, too.
Anyway, he asked me what I was depressed about. I said nothing, I'm just depressed. It'll pass. It always does. Freaked him out a little.
On 2005-12-20 21:07:00, dragonfly wrote:
So for two whole days, sit in a warm place and drink tea and just sit there, maybe wrapped in a blanket. Just sit there
Yeah, I used to do this sort of thing quite a lot as a little kid. Not usually all day. But taking a break to stare at running water while washing something or sneaking off to lay up in the tree and listen, things like that. I think that's what they call meditation or prayer or daydreaming or somethin'. W/e, good stuff anyway.
By the year 2000, we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human potential, not God.
--Gloria Steinam, women's rights activist
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We could not be anymore perfect than we already are.
Hon-Sha-Ze-Sho-Nen
[ This Message was edited by: Withdraw on 2006-02-28 23:22 ]
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ONly BiTch3s get duhpressed and need to chat about it and 'work it out'.
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Try cannabis for depression..
Try Tylenol PM for sleep..
Youll get better
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I'm with VB on this one. It's not PC to say smoke weed instead of taking meds, but it helps me. Recently, I was put on new meds and went off them. I feel even worse now than before I took the meds. I don't know what the answer is beyond meds and I'm not one to spout off some intellectual and spiritual propaganda either as if it's just that simple. People really don't get how hard it is to get out of depression.
For the most part I am able to function in the outside world when need be, but soon as night time rolls around it's another story. I also spend many a day in my pajamas and not answering my door or phone. I really feel for you as I know it is hard.
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On 2005-12-21 14:05:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I'm with VB on this one. It's not PC to say smoke weed instead of taking meds, but it helps me. Recently, I was put on new meds and went off them. I feel even worse now than before I took the meds. I don't know what the answer is beyond meds and I'm not one to spout off some intellectual and spiritual propaganda either as if it's just that simple. People really don't get how hard it is to get out of depression.
For the most part I am able to function in the outside world when need be, but soon as night time rolls around it's another story. I also spend many a day in my pajamas and not answering my door or phone. I really feel for you as I know it is hard.
"
Marijuana a natural plant..a flower..
OR
Some manmade 100 % synthetic overpriced pill?
Remember when they gave us Prozac and said it was this miracle cure? then 10 years later "Ooops Prozac triggers suicidal bahavior...sorry hehe"
The endless list of psych meds that lat6er turn out to range from downright unpleasant to deadly goes on and on..
Heres a list of some of the psych meds Ive been on at one time or another ( I no longer take any and cannabis works fine)
Prozac, paxil, buzpar, trazdone, lithium, librium, wellibutrin ( and about 8 more I cant rememeber..) none of them worked..
Funny thing is I dont suffer from depression at all anymore..I live a productive life, work, have a family and healthy relationship with my fiancee, and generally enjoy life..
We live in a messed up world and anyone with halfass awareness would be depressed now and again..
Find something non toxic and run with it..
_________________
(http://http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/Toothfairy_TP/hasp-linchpin-pull-rev.jpg)
a linchpin holds within a means to an end[ This Message was edited by: linchpin on 2005-12-24 11:49 ]
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that maybe I ought to change my name on this forum to "Depressed" instead of "Deprogrammed", as it seems more fitting lately!.....just a joke though....The main reason that I originally chose the name of "Deprogrammed" is b/c it was a positive way to remind myself of keeping hope alive to be once totally "deprogrammed" one day, eventually. I definitely feel I may not have been as badly affected by "the program" as some but maybe more affected than others. This in my humble opinion is what happens when and overbearing "program" trys to use a "cookie-cutter remedy for individuals with individual problems. It just simply doesn't work at all.
Anyway,
Thank you all for every bit of advice and sharing your personal stories/battles with depression with me, and also your wisdom. I do really appreciate it that I called for help and ye all responded to me in such a sensative fashion.
This one is to the Groovy healer Chick:
I can relate a lot with what ye said to me...I am a "groovy Healer too my main struggle my whole life with and/or without program experiences has been healing myself.....It has always come more naturally for me to heal others, and I have the ability to do it very well, sometimes it is just like breathing(I don't even have to think about it at all.) But, with myself I have a really hard time.
To the person that suggested that I sit with it, and also Ginger: I agree also that I need to meditate....I haven't done that in a long time...and it is important. Thank you both so much for reminding me.
To the Cannabis users etc: I need peace within myself before I could part-take in anything like that right now...I have to be "in a good place w/ me in my mind and body" before that happens. I just really know myself in that way. Thank ye for the reminder though...point well taken.
thank you all who responded!
happy holidays and love I wish to ye all :smile:
sincerely,
-DPPray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
--Ambrose Bierce
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its one of the fine "legacies"straight forgot to help us with.....i know just how you feel.when i got out of there all i felt like was that i needed a vacation or somthing...my brain was so stressed out that i never did function good in society....i've been "vacationing"ever since i got out and i'm still not happy....remember when they said we'd be aware of ourselves all the time?i believe this is why we get depressed...and all the things we do,good or bad don't seem to take it away....i mean with or without drugs,things we buy,wear etc....its hard to explain,but i hope this gets to you the right way....hippie564
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What's really freaky to come to realize is: Not everyone is fully aware of themselves, others, and the enviroment. I mean, I am, I always have been(since Straight). I honestly thought ALL people were that way, and I have expectations on them to be so. So, especially in relationships, I am kinda so hyper-sensitive, it's difficult to function natrually. I am constantly saying things like; "you are so oblivious." Which usually they respond with something like; "So? Is there something wrong with that?"
Well HELL YES, in my world it is wrong. You should be fully focused on everything - all the time. And if you aren't, you are sub-par, Multi-task damn it! Be aware! Of Everything! Then I try to explain why they should be super-aware and start to investigate for emotions they are "hiding". Then encourage them to search themselves for residual thoughts or feelings. So it turns into an investigation into their brain. Bleh~! I don't wanna read minds!
Now, to realize all people aren't as compulsive as I am about awareness of self especially, is very traumatic. See I have been wasting so much energy just staying aware of the whole entire world around me, I have not been able to be free and just live. This is where my depressive episodes begin, The awareness affliction we all have. I am so gawd damn tired of Having to constantly be aware of every single little thing. I want it to stop! I just wanna live, with good understanding of the world and awareness enough to protect myself. That's it! I don't want to analyze everything inside my brain or everything other people say or do or type. I just don't wanna, anymore.
So, I have been tuning out! Taking breaks from thinking, and just re-learning to trust my instincts and the universe will take care of the rest.
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On 2005-12-30 14:16:00, Anonymous wrote:
"What's really freaky to come to realize is: Not everyone is fully aware of themselves, others, and the enviroment. I mean, I am, I always have been(since Straight). I honestly thought ALL people were that way, and I have expectations on them to be so. So, especially in relationships, I am kinda so hyper-sensitive, it's difficult to function natrually. I am constantly saying things like; "you are so oblivious." Which usually they respond with something like; "So? Is there something wrong with that?"
Well HELL YES, in my world it is wrong. You should be fully focused on everything - all the time. And if you aren't, you are sub-par, Multi-task damn it! Be aware! Of Everything! Then I try to explain why they should be super-aware and start to investigate for emotions they are "hiding". Then encourage them to search themselves for residual thoughts or feelings. So it turns into an investigation into their brain. Bleh~! I don't wanna read minds!
Now, to realize all people aren't as compulsive as I am about awareness of self especially, is very traumatic. See I have been wasting so much energy just staying aware of the whole entire world around me, I have not been able to be free and just live. This is where my depressive episodes begin, The awareness affliction we all have. I am so gawd damn tired of Having to constantly be aware of every single little thing. I want it to stop! I just wanna live, with good understanding of the world and awareness enough to protect myself. That's it! I don't want to analyze everything inside my brain or everything other people say or do or type. I just don't wanna, anymore.
So, I have been tuning out! Taking breaks from thinking, and just re-learning to trust my instincts and the universe will take care of the rest. "
Excellent point!
-DPThe way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
--Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor
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On 2005-12-30 13:56:00, stillahippie564 wrote:
"its one of the fine "legacies"straight forgot to help us with.....i know just how you feel.when i got out of there all i felt like was that i needed a vacation or somthing...my brain was so stressed out that i never did function good in society....i've been "vacationing"ever since i got out and i'm still not happy....remember when they said we'd be aware of ourselves all the time?i believe this is why we get depressed...and all the things we do,good or bad don't seem to take it away....i mean with or without drugs,things we buy,wear etc....its hard to explain,but i hope this gets to you the right way....hippie564"