Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Nonconformistlaw on November 07, 2005, 11:01:00 AM
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Not from a spouse but from my brother, I am getting no support from him. He of all people I thought would be supportive since he was in the sibling program and has some idea what Straight was like. He tells me that I shouldnt read so much about straight, he thinks PTSD is crap invented by psychologists that want to label everything a disorder, blah, blah, blah.......he doesnt get it at all. My brother and I are not as close right now as we usually are. In fact I pretty much avoid him cause I dont want to hear his crap right now becuase it upsets me so much.
My dad on the other hand, has been extremely supportive, has apologized to me, and repeatedly tells me that I am doing the right thing (by reading about straight, therapy, etc.).
Girl I dont know what to tell you about your husband. I know why he doesnt get it...he wasnt there. Trying to tell people what straight was like over the years has been really upsetting cause they never get it and I always gave up in frustration. I do think that its difficult for the most well meaning people to accept that what happened to us, that it actually goes on in this country. I would imagine many would find it shocking, and maybe be are in denial cause its very upsetting to know about.
All I can say is that I hope things get better between you and your husband...hopefully he become supportive again. ::rainbow::
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On 2005-11-07 08:01:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:
" I do think that its difficult for the most well meaning people to accept that what happened to us, that it actually goes on in this country. I would imagine many would find it shocking, and maybe be are in denial cause its very upsetting to know about.
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Yes!! It is very upsetting!! i don' intend to highjack your thread Str8survivorVA but i want to make a point if ya don' mind...
People don' want to believe that places like str8 exist. It would indicate that ever'tin' that is supposed to be so great about America is a lie. This is where the brainwashed graduates of the American acculturation process demonstrate their sickness. They are in some state of a mass(social) psychosis(hypnosis) or somethin'!! It's like they've been told in so many ways and heard it in their own voices so many times that they jus' believe their own lies. From the age of 5 or 6...in kindergarten..."i pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." So people come up all nationalized and biased and uncritical and brainwashed and unable to see what's goin' down. "AMerica is GReat!!" they yell. while jus' down the rd. in an inconspicuous commercial building...
"The land of the free." The whole thing is a set-up. Where were their democratic values while str8 raped our minds ??
::dove::
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On 2005-11-07 10:56:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
In some ways I feel like I was better off before I started remembering all of this Str8 crap."
Yeah, but where do ya go from here, now that you've "bitten the apple" so to speak? It's too late to forget it now.......
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On 2005-11-07 10:56:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
"yea I agree with you both about people not wanting to believe what happened/denial thing, but I guess I expected a little more from the most significant person in my life. I have even been very careful about doling out the info in small doses, so as not to overwhelm him."
That is exactly what I was getting at when I mentioned my brother...I expected him to be completely understanding and supportive, since he has been my brother my entire life, because family is supposed to be supportive.
But my brother, of all people, should get it more than most since he was in the fucking sibling program for god's sakes!
Girl I wish I had an answer for you...hopefully your husband just needs some time to digest....this shit is tough to swallow........ :sad:
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On 2005-11-07 09:15:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:
"
On 2005-11-07 08:01:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:
" I do think that its difficult for the most well meaning people to accept that what happened to us, that it actually goes on in this country. I would imagine many would find it shocking, and maybe be are in denial cause its very upsetting to know about.
"
Yes!! It is very upsetting!! i don' intend to highjack your thread Str8survivorVA but i want to make a point if ya don' mind...
People don' want to believe that places like str8 exist. It would indicate that ever'tin' that is supposed to be so great about America is a lie. This is where the brainwashed graduates of the American acculturation process demonstrate their sickness. They are in some state of a mass(social) psychosis(hypnosis) or somethin'!! It's like they've been told in so many ways and heard it in their own voices so many times that they jus' believe their own lies. From the age of 5 or 6...in kindergarten..."i pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all." So people come up all nationalized and biased and uncritical and brainwashed and unable to see what's goin' down. "AMerica is GReat!!" they yell. while jus' down the rd. in an inconspicuous commercial building...
"The land of the free." The whole thing is a set-up. Where were their democratic values while str8 raped our minds ??
::dove:: "
You're doin' it again, Pirate. Just say no and leave this thread alone. It never did nothin' to you.
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You'll be alright....Str8survivorVA. have some patience...are you drinkin' alone ??
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Smoke pot instead. It's better for your health, and has been shown to be effective in treating PTSD.
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Oh. UH...i don' know, what did you mean when you were mentioning the turned up bottles ??(lol) i imagine you all kinda distraught and half buzzed, workin' on a scotch on the rocks or something...
i aint drinkin' right now m'se'f but i fe'l ya, so i do.
Solidarity!
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Damn, honey, you really should slow down on the booze and start smoking pot. Seriously.
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On 2005-11-07 12:08:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
" :grin:
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Hello - thought I'd drop you a quick line while I'm taking a small break from work.
I reckon I am lucky cause my wife is the one that first started planting the seeds in my brain that straight was not a good place for me or anyone for that matter.
I think one thing that may assist your husband is checking out the fornits straight survivors spouses, or what ever it is called. My wife (here I am volunteering her) would gladly speak with your husband if he would like to.
It is important for me as a survivor to understand that my wife does get tired of hearing about straight. I know that I need to talk about it to her on an as needed basis.
email me or have your hubby email me if you like. kpickle39@earthlink.net
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My thoughts are that in a way, this is what the boards are all for - because people outside can not, even in imagination, fathom what such a thing would be like, except on a purely hypothetical and short-term level. In the same way as people remove themselves from feeling the tragedy of a documentary film about abuse or any other foul occurrence for any period of time after watching it, thus, even our loved ones can only go so far with us. They feel terribly about it while it is "playing", shocked and traumatized even, but since it is too much reality and they feel they can not do anything about it anyway, soon afterwards it will be relegated to something that pops up in their minds once in a while but that becomes something they'd rather not think about too much. People don't typically watch the heavy, truly disturbing flicks more than once or twice, and because - as Starry mentioned - they really feel unsettled that it happens at all.
My partner is the best friend I've ever had, and he too was truly outraged upon hearing about the program (took me just over a year to tell him at all, as I had gotten so sick of dealing with it - and so used to being private about what I would go through)... but I keep it as just one of the things he needed to know that is now in the past. I think part of the response is that when people hear they are just too shocked and hurt for you to do much more than listen. After time, they start to process it, and then they start to think 'what would I have done', 'why didn't he/she just do this...', 'how could he/she have let that happen...' etc etc... which they can never tell because they WEREN'T there, and COULD NOT know how they would have responded or what we should have done differently, or how we could have allowed what happened. I don't know if this makes sense, but since they meet us as people in the 'real world', who would now NEVER let such things happen to us again, they can not relate to us as scared, fucked up kids under siege, who responded simply to survive in that environment. We were different people then, people our loved ones can't see us being, so they distance from "that other person" because it is too alien to join to the one they are with now.
It is funny - ironic, not haha - that they can deal with and incorporate so many other 'past' stories (including the "horrible druggie past" we were told to shun) but can not cope with thinking about how we lived, day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year in those places.
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I told my wife (friend) at the time about STr8. We started dating in '85 and I told her immediately about all that happened in Straight and where I was coming from. she even tried to relate, funny. But, she did understand and we have survived with three kids for twenty years now. I'm one of those crazy kids that made it through and never looked back once I left. Sure, i tell my wife and kids about what I went through, and I think that helps. But I aint gonna let myself get stuck in the past- too much fun living now...
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My wife dont get it either but... she loves me ,and after all what more can a cat want????
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Damn Skippy
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Somewhere back there someone said something about their sibling resenting the straight experience. mine sure did. Well at least we still talk with each other now -- some families have literally been torn apart thanks to straight. When I/we first found these boards, one hell of a lot of resentment came up on her part. How the program interfered with her life, school, the fucked-up sibling raps, the looming threat of potentially getting put into the program herself...all of this came to the surface all of a sudden, and there wasn't all that much understanding on her part about what it was to be brainwashed and how that person really wasn't the 'me' that we all used to know. I hope this helps. Since then there has been a bit more of an understanding, so maybe time heals all wounds eventually.
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Somewhere back there someone said something about their sibling resenting the straight experience.
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On 2005-11-10 21:12:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Somewhere back there someone said something about their sibling resenting the straight experience."
I think my brother is more unsympathetic toward my current hell about straight. He cant understand why my life has come to a screeching halt and even goes so far as to criticize my decision to take time out of my life to deal with my straight demons. he criticized how I am dealing with the memories and he believes PTSD is baloney.
Although now that you mention it Anon....its possible he harbors resentments for his experience as a sibling. I wonder if he resents that I'm getting the attention and counseling I need now to cope with all the straight memories, not him. Damn anon...you made me think.....
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Damn anon...you made me think.....
Sorry, it won't happen again. :grin:
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On 2005-11-10 21:49:00, Anonymous wrote:
Damn anon...you made me think.....
Sorry, it won't happen again. ::rainbow::
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Yes, how true indeed! She needs to apply the first step, etc. and work on herself before she can give the gift of awareness...
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On 2005-11-10 21:58:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
"Girl you need to take care of yourself...you cannot care for others (personally OR professioanlly) untill you take care of yourself. Once you do that you will be UNSTOPPABLE. But you know this... don't you?."
You have a point but so did anon....and yeah, once I get back on my feet, I will be unstoppable. ::rainbow::
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On 2005-11-10 22:01:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:
"Yes, how true indeed! She needs to apply her first step before she can apply the seventh step.
I refuse to apply any steps, ever again as long as I live.
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On 2005-11-10 22:01:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:
"Yes, how true indeed! She needs to apply the first step, etc. and work on herself before she can give the gift of awareness..."
::hehehmm:: :wstupid: ::spam::
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You need to "work on yourself" NCL, have a seat.
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On 2005-11-10 22:09:00, Anonymous wrote:
"You need to "work on yourself" NCL, have a seat."
I will NOT have a seat! I will NOT apply my program! Straight's dogma is a load of bullshit!
Damn, I always wanted to say that! :razz:
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That's it....get it all out. You need this group.
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On 2005-11-10 22:17:00, Anonymous wrote:
"That's it....get it all out. You need this group."
I agree, I need to get it out, but I have developed a strong adversion to formal "group therapy."
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That's too bad...this may put a bit of a damper on your upcoming experience at SIBS.
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On 2005-11-10 22:23:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:
"your upcoming experience at SIBS."
Over my dead body!
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Now we can do this easy way, or the hard way....
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The StraightMobile? is on its way...
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On 2005-11-10 22:27:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:
"Now we can do this easy way, or the hard way...."
The hard way of course, for you that is Dr. Fucktard....good luck to ya! I'll have a peaceful sleep tonight just knowing you'll never get your paws on me! Night......
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Pleasant dreams, NCL.....pleasant dreams... ::hehehmm::
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Why deny your implicit love for the program, survivor?
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On 2005-11-10 22:32:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
"That is not what I meant. You know that. Fuck you, Fucktard. You mean Nothing to us. Get a life. Find another forum. You do not belong here. B'bye! So long!! C-ya!!"
Ahem. Troll, joke, kidding. Dont' sweat it.
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On 2005-11-10 22:36:00, Anonymous wrote:
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On 2005-11-10 22:32:00, Str8survivorVA wrote:
"That is not what I meant. You know that. Fuck you, Fucktard. You mean Nothing to us. Get a life. Find another forum. You do not belong here. B'bye! So long!! C-ya!!"
Ahem. Troll, joke, kidding. Dont' sweat it."
Oh no, don't take it back now, that was so right on.
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I will outlast you, survivor. Fuck off. :lol:
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Survivor, I will ALWAYS be a part of your "straight family." :silly: :lol:
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OK Dr. Fucktard. You just keep telling yourself that. Why do you want to maintain this illusion? It's OK to be angry. I am agry too....