Fornits
General Interest => Open Free for All => Topic started by: Dear Gabby on September 24, 2005, 11:20:00 AM
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I need advice on how to go about getting to know Kelly Monaco's pussy......
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http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?So ... 09&forum=7 (http://fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?Sort=U&topic=11909&forum=7)
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I think my candle addiction is getting out of hand. At first it started as a small collection that I bought to cast a love spell. After placing them all on the altar under the waxing moon, the altar still seemed bare, so I bought a few more.
Calling the fire department was a little overkill, but apparently I violated my deed restriction, and it really pissed off the neighbors. Well it pissed off the female neighbors. Actually - most of the female neighbors, since my love spell captured every male and a couple of females in a 10 block radius.
I spent two weeks entertaining those who fell into the spell. Since a lot of them brought alcohol and various drugs to our interludes, I'm now hooked on everything from beer to heroin, and I'm having a hard time affording candles.
I've looked into 12 step programs, and I even went to one. After the meeting, I picked up more candles, and saw my coke dealer, then went home for a threesome and by the morning the coke and candles were all gone.
I'm broke and exhausted. Can anyone help me?
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Dear Gabby,
I am a 38 year old male. Last Saturday, I met an attractive 24 year old female at a bar. I went home with her and had sex with her. Does this make me a letcher? My friends say it does.
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Gabby is plagued by laziness and incompetence so I'm taking over for her.
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On 2005-09-25 18:23:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Dear Gabby,
I am a 38 year old male. Last Saturday, I met an attractive 24 year old female at a bar. I went home with her and had sex with her. Does this make me a letcher? My friends say it does."
Letcher? I could not find that word in my dictionary. I did find lecher meaning to live in debauchery. If this is the word you are referring to than by all means continue what you are doing.
Your middle aged friends are yearning for some hot and young 24 year old pussy so they are going to hassle you about it. Be careful because when you are not around they will try to get in her panties.
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On 2005-09-25 07:57:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I think my candle addiction is getting out of hand. At first it started as a small collection that I bought to cast a love spell. After placing them all on the altar under the waxing moon, the altar still seemed bare, so I bought a few more.
Calling the fire department was a little overkill, but apparently I violated my deed restriction, and it really pissed off the neighbors. Well it pissed off the female neighbors. Actually - most of the female neighbors, since my love spell captured every male and a couple of females in a 10 block radius.
I spent two weeks entertaining those who fell into the spell. Since a lot of them brought alcohol and various drugs to our interludes, I'm now hooked on everything from beer to heroin, and I'm having a hard time affording candles.
I've looked into 12 step programs, and I even went to one. After the meeting, I picked up more candles, and saw my coke dealer, then went home for a threesome and by the morning the coke and candles were all gone.
I'm broke and exhausted. Can anyone help me?"
Dear Candle Lady,
Stop stressing about buying candles. My motto is to shoplift anything that can be concealed.
Next time you cast a spell on those lucky men make sure you get them to bring drugs and candles. No woman should ever have to pay for anything as long as she has a vagina between her legs.
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On 2005-09-24 10:15:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I need advice on how to go about getting to know Kelly Monaco's pussy......"
My advice is to pay for a session with the candle lady so she can help you with a love spell. If all else fails send Kelly naked photos of yourself and cry out your undying love for her on national television when you are being arrested for stalking. Her loss.
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[ This Message was edited by: Dear Gabby on 2005-10-05 14:43 ]
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Gabby, as my colleaugue I must tell you to get back to these poor souls in a more timely matter.
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On 2005-09-26 12:22:00, The Know It All wrote:
"Gabby, as my colleaugue I must tell you to get back to these poor souls in a more timely matter."
Why Thank-you know it all! After all you know it all...This I believe: That the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: The freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: Any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual.
--John Steinbeck, American novelist
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A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
--Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist
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On 2005-09-25 18:23:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Dear Gabby,
I am a 38 year old male. Last Saturday, I met an attractive 24 year old female at a bar. I went home with her and had sex with her. Does this make me a letcher? My friends say it does."
The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being of His Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
--Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, author, scientist, architect, educator, and diplomat
[ This Message was edited by: Dear Gabby on 2005-10-05 14:47 ]
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I am a 34 year old female. I want to use and abuse a 22 year old boy I met in class. Does this make me a lecher? I just want someone young and dumb.
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I hear shaving your pubes makes your junk look bigger... any advice?
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Well, I'm not Gabby, but I loved my boyfriend's furry muff.
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That's hot.
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dear gabby, i am a 41 yr old male, obcessed with my wife's urine. i am particurally fond of her urine after taking her vitamins. i have been slipping more b vitamins in her food , without her knowing ,of course. my question is could i be poisoning my wife by over dosing her vitamin intake? the smell and color of her urine drive me insane. do you know of any support groups for people like me? my obsession has gotten so bad, i got caught drinking my wife's sweet love juice at work.
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I never did understand the view of urine as a sexual stimulant. Golden showers, etc.
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Dear 34,
No it does not make you a rapest, He is 22 not 17. My advice would be go get him and teach him all you want. I am sure it will come in handy for him later. In the mean time go have fun-You have earned it if you look good enough to catch a 22 year olds eye.It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.
--Arthur C. Clarke, author
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[ This Message was edited by: Dear Gabby on 2005-10-05 14:47 ]
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Yes, please don't shave. It's fun to play with the tree in the forest.
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On 2005-09-27 06:30:00, Anonymous wrote:
"dear gabby, i am a 41 yr old male, obcessed with my wife's urine. i am particurally fond of her urine after taking her vitamins. i have been slipping more b vitamins in her food , without her knowing ,of course. my question is could i be poisoning my wife by over dosing her vitamin intake? the smell and color of her urine drive me insane. do you know of any support groups for people like me? my obsession has gotten so bad, i got caught drinking my wife's sweet love juice at work. "
Dear Obcessed,
In fact that is not so far fetched. Some partners like that sort of thing. I say what ever floats your boat. Lots of porn movies on it!
Don't know of any support groups,Sorry!
I wouldn't be giving your wife anything with out her consent. My advice is stay away from the iron pills or her love juice will never smell the same. Driking it? Now that is just stupid shame on you.Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. For when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
--Nietzsche
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OMG!!!! I will think about that every time I go pee now. You don't have a mushdash do you?
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What is a letcher?
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On 2005-09-26 16:03:00, Dear Gabby wrote:
"
On 2005-09-25 18:23:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Dear Gabby,
I am a 38 year old male. Last Saturday, I met an attractive 24 year old female at a bar. I went home with her and had sex with her. Does this make me a letcher? My friends say it does."
Dear letcher. Got the wrong meaning of that word at first sorry. I have to retract what I said don't be a letcher and you are not a letcher she is old enough to know better,
Dear letcher, :smokin:
Better a leycher then a horney 38 year old with blue balls.The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being of His Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.
--Thomas Jefferson, U.S. President, author, scientist, architect, educator, and diplomat
"
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I will never understand it.
Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth.
--Mohandas K. Gandhi
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have you ever farted and thought it smelt good?