Fornits

Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 03:12:00 PM

Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 03:12:00 PM
Help I need your advice.

Question #1

I'm seeing someone that has wandering eyes worse than myself. Should I ditch the person or stay until my lust fades?

Question #2

My eyes are also wandering. How do you suggest I get someone interested that doesn't know I'm alive?
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 03:46:00 PM
My advice anon is give up all hope. Set the person you are with free. Gouge out your wondering eyes and start smoking crack.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 03:48:00 PM
No, they just need to talk to their sponsor and work the Steps.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 03:53:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-09-23 12:46:00, Anonymous wrote:

"My advice anon is give up all hope. Set the person you are with free. Gouge out your wondering eyes and start smoking crack."


I'll pass on the crack. I have other things in mind.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 04:08:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-09-23 12:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"No, they just need to talk to their sponsor and work the Steps."


Their sponsor would tell them it's ok to drink. ::jawdrop::  ::boohoo::  :silly:
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 04:14:00 PM
I drink with sponsors.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 07:54:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-09-23 13:14:00, Anonymous wrote:

"I drink with sponsors."


I don't---those bastards always try to leave ya with the tab......
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 08:18:00 PM
::alieneyesa::  ::bangin::  ::kma::
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 09:23:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-09-23 12:12:00, Anonymous wrote:

"Help I need your advice.



Question #1



I'm seeing someone that has wandering eyes worse than myself. Should I ditch the person or stay until my lust fades?



Question #2



My eyes are also wandering. How do you suggest I get someone interested that doesn't know I'm alive?"



So where the hell is Fucktard?  This person'e been waiting all goddamn day and it's about time they got a reply.....
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on September 23, 2005, 09:46:00 PM
Quote

So where the hell is Fucktard?  This person'e been waiting all goddamn day and it's about time they got a reply....."


What's your advice for the person? You're not the one that said smoke crack are you?
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Dr Fucktard on September 23, 2005, 09:52:00 PM
Phew!!

It's been a rather busy day at SIBS today (lots of new intakes) so I haven't had  much time to play 'Dear Abbey' as of yet..

Please stay tuned, I'll be back later to see if I can offer any useful advice to you chemically-dependent, addle-brained druggies..
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on November 22, 2005, 07:17:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-09-23 12:48:00, Anonymous wrote:

"No, they just need to talk to their sponsor and work the Steps."
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on November 22, 2005, 08:22:00 PM
To the O.P., you should up the ante.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: starry-eyed pirate on November 23, 2005, 05:25:00 PM
OP...Uh...i aint no Fucktard or nothin' but here's my answers to your questions:

1)Wanderin' eyes...such is life.  Nature finds a way.  Your alive.  Let the imagination play.  Don't make your lover your slave.

2)Learn to recite poetry.  i keep these 2 poems close by: "The 2nd Coming" by W.B. Yeates and "The Time I've Lost In Wooing" by Thomas Moore.  i've got 'em both memorized.  Wait until a natural stage has been set. By that i mean wait until the poem you have memorized is an appropriate response to the general conversation and then recite the poem.  i have found that when recited properly, that is to say dramatically but not over-dramatically,(presentation can be everything) people take notice.  And it's fun too, works great at the bar.   :wink:
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Dr Fucktard on November 23, 2005, 07:44:00 PM
Quote
OP...Uh...i aint no Fucktard or nothin'

You're goddamned right you're not, Pirate.. And don't you fucking forget it!! ::ftard::

God is second to me -- I'm number ONE, motherfucker!!!

Don't even look back! Don't even look upon me with your naked eye!!!  :skull:
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on November 23, 2005, 09:04:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-11-23 14:25:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:

  Don't make your lover your slave.


But what if she's into kinky shit like that?  

The ultimate masochist pleads "Hurt me" to which the ultimate sadist replies, "No".
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: starry-eyed pirate on November 23, 2005, 09:43:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-11-23 18:04:00, Anonymous wrote:

"
Quote

On 2005-11-23 14:25:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:


  Don't make your lover your slave.




But what if she's into kinky shit like that?  



The ultimate masochist pleads "Hurt me" to which the ultimate sadist replies, "No"."


:lol: You know what i mean.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: starry-eyed pirate on November 23, 2005, 10:06:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-11-23 16:44:00, Dr Fucktard wrote:

"
Quote
OP...Uh...i aint no Fucktard or nothin'

You're goddamned right you're not, Pirate.. And don't you fucking forget it!! ::ftard::



God is second to me -- I'm number ONE, motherfucker!!!



Don't even look back! Don't even look upon me with your naked eye!!!  :skull:
"


Fucktard.  You need ta jus' lay back a while bro 'n' smoke a joint for Christs sake.  I'z jus tryin' ta help, you know.  Don' you have some confiscated buds you could roll.  Once you are high you will begin to see the folly of your ways.

RAST-A-FARI  :skull:  :skull:  :skull:
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Fr. Cassian on November 23, 2005, 10:15:00 PM
Fucktard, I'm a little concerned....quoting lyrics from a druggie band like that doesn't really fit into a Straight lifestyle.....I hope you're just trying to relate to the druggies on their own base, depraved level, and not succumbing to the disease of addiction......

Call me at (727)392-3437 for a little "dime therapy", or at least to reassure Ruthie and I that you haven't relapsed......
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on November 23, 2005, 11:51:00 PM
Quote
On 2005-11-23 14:25:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:

"OP...Uh...i aint no Fucktard or nothin' but here's my answers to your questions:



1)Wanderin' eyes...such is life.  Nature finds a way.  Your alive.  Let the imagination play.  Don't make your lover your slave.



2)Learn to recite poetry.  i keep these 2 poems close by: "The 2nd Coming" by W.B. Yeates and "The Time I've Lost In Wooing" by Thomas Moore.  i've got 'em both memorized.  Wait until a natural stage has been set. By that i mean wait until the poem you have memorized is an appropriate response to the general conversation and then recite the poem.  i have found that when recited properly, that is to say dramatically but not over-dramatically,(presentation can be everything) people take notice.  And it's fun too, works great at the bar.   :wink: "


I've moved on from Mr. Wandering Eyes and I have no desire to enslave anyone beyond sex as I can not stand a weak man under my feet all the time.

Mr. Wandering Eyes is a great guy and I'm sure he will make a fine lover for a lucky woman someday. Me and Mr. Wandering Eyes are on very conflicting paths right now.

I rather have my next go around save the poetry as I really do not wish to hear the same tired lines he whispered in the last 10 women's ears. Actions speak louder than words in my world.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: starry-eyed pirate on November 24, 2005, 12:13:00 AM
i'm not talkin' about some lame pick-up lines,  i'm talkin' about classic poetry recited for the benefit of all within earshot.  Your response is condescending.  Good Luck.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Anonymous on November 24, 2005, 12:20:00 AM
Quote
On 2005-11-23 21:13:00, starry-eyed pirate wrote:

"i'm not talkin' about some lame pick-up lines,  i'm talkin' about classic poetry recited for the benefit of all within earshot.  Your response is condescending.  Good Luck."


My bad. Didn't mean to come at you like that. It's just that I don't want the same poems recited to me that were recited to someone else. I don't want crafty pick up lines by some smooth talker. I want to see action. Understand now? Peace be with you.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: starry-eyed pirate on November 24, 2005, 12:28:00 AM
i gotcha.  But i don't think you're gettin' me.  i no longer think it matters though.  Goodnight.
Title: Dear Dr. Fucktard
Post by: Dr Fucktard on November 24, 2005, 11:30:00 AM
Whew!!! Goddamn -- what a night! ::cheers::

Ah well....I don't really have to practice what I preach anyway because I'm not the type of person that I'm preaching to.. :lol: