Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Nonconformistlaw on September 21, 2005, 09:32:00 PM
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Okay, PTSD is really frustrating. My head just isn't right...as in, I cant read anything lengthy or complicated. Cant concentrate at all...my attention span lasts for a few minutes tops. I'm not used to me head being so screwed up. So I cant work or read for school.
So, today I started a 90-day medical leave of absence from work. Thankfully, my employer allows this (unpaid of course). Oh and I wont be able to finish classes either...I'll never be able to get caught up this semseter. So now I also have to put off graduation until next spring. Which means I will now have even more school debt, which is out of control as it is.
Does anyone know if 3 months is going to be long enough to pull it back together?
I'm worried about what will happen if I still cant work at the end of 90 days. I have to be functional, as in able to read and comprehend heavy shit and also be able to produce a coherent work product by late December or else I'm in deep shit...I might then lose my job, just for starters.
Also....for those of you who have receieved treatment for PTSD, how helpful are the meds? I'm worried about taking anything but at the same time I cant stand what I wreck I am with all this emotional shit flooding back. I cant stand feeling so god damn dysfunctional.
I'm also exhausted most of the time, especially after talking to my counselor or to anyone on the phone. Does this ever get better?
I dont know...I guess I just want to know that there is hope and that PTSD wont kick my ass for too long. I hate not feeling like myself and being sad all the time (among other things).
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Okay, PTSD is pow'ful frestratin'. Mah haid jest ain't right...as in, ah cant read ennythin' len'thy o' complicated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Kint corncentrate at all, ah reckon...mah attenshun span lasts fo' a few minutes tops. ah's not used t'me haid bein' so screwed up. So ah cant wawk o' read fo' skoo. So, today ah started a 90-day medical leave of absence fum wawk. Thankfully, mah employer allers this hyar (unpaid of course). Oh an' ah wont be able t'finish classes eifer...I'll nevah be able t'git caught up this hyar semseter. So now ah also hafta put off graduashun until next sprin'. Which means ah will now haf even mo'e skoo debt, which is outta corntrol as it is. Does ennyone knows if 3 months is a-gonna be long inough t'pull it back togither? ah's wo'ried about whut will happen eff'n ah still kint wawk at th' end of 90 days. ah have t'be funckshunal, as in able t'read an' comprehend heavy shit an' also be able t'prodooce a coharnt wawk produck by late December o' else ah's in deep shit...ah might then lose mah job, jest fo' starters. Also....fo' them of yo' who haf receieved treatment fo' PTSD, how he'pful is th' meds? ah's wo'ried about takin' ennythin' but at th' same time ah cant stan' whut ah wreck ah's wif all this hyar emoshunal shit floodin' back. Shet mah mouth! ah cant stan' feelin' so god dadburn dysfunckshunal, ah reckon. ah's also exhaested most of th' time, especially af'er talkin' t'mah counselo' o' t'ennyone on th' phone. Does this hyar evah git better? ah dont know...ah guess ah jest be hankerin' t'knows thet thar is hope an' thet PTSD wont kick mah ass fo' too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah hate not feelin' like mahse'f an' bein' sad all th' time (among other thin's).
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Check out this link:
http://losangeles.networkofcare.org/mh/ ... cat=search (http://losangeles.networkofcare.org/mh/library/hwdetail.cfm?hwid=hw184188&cat=search)
There are many links to learn more on the treatments
on this disorder. Good luck, read it all, and click on the hyperslinks. You will be on your way.
You have 90 days to make enough progress to get back to work. This article will give you a roadmap.
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It might not be PTSD.
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What might the diagnosis be?
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http://http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/sym/concentration_difficulty.htm
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On 2005-09-21 21:44:00, Anonymous wrote:
"What might the diagnosis be?"
A.D.D.
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On 2005-09-21 18:42:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Okay, PTSD is pow'ful frestratin'. Mah haid jest ain't right...as in, ah cant read ennythin' len'thy o' complicated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Kint corncentrate at all, ah reckon...mah attenshun span lasts fo' a few minutes tops. ah's not used t'me haid bein' so screwed up. So ah cant wawk o' read fo' skoo. So, today ah started a 90-day medical leave of absence fum wawk. Thankfully, mah employer allers this hyar (unpaid of course). Oh an' ah wont be able t'finish classes eifer...I'll nevah be able t'git caught up this hyar semseter. So now ah also hafta put off graduashun until next sprin'. Which means ah will now haf even mo'e skoo debt, which is outta corntrol as it is. Does ennyone knows if 3 months is a-gonna be long inough t'pull it back togither? ah's wo'ried about whut will happen eff'n ah still kint wawk at th' end of 90 days. ah have t'be funckshunal, as in able t'read an' comprehend heavy shit an' also be able t'prodooce a coharnt wawk produck by late December o' else ah's in deep shit...ah might then lose mah job, jest fo' starters. Also....fo' them of yo' who haf receieved treatment fo' PTSD, how he'pful is th' meds? ah's wo'ried about takin' ennythin' but at th' same time ah cant stan' whut ah wreck ah's wif all this hyar emoshunal shit floodin' back. Shet mah mouth! ah cant stan' feelin' so god dadburn dysfunckshunal, ah reckon. ah's also exhaested most of th' time, especially af'er talkin' t'mah counselo' o' t'ennyone on th' phone. Does this hyar evah git better? ah dont know...ah guess ah jest be hankerin' t'knows thet thar is hope an' thet PTSD wont kick mah ass fo' too long, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! ah hate not feelin' like mahse'f an' bein' sad all th' time (among other thin's)."
You a snoop doggie fan....shilzilize it.
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I have been diagnosed with PTSD very recently. The counselor is also looking into the possibility of ADD as well....but ADD has not been diagnosed yet. I suspect ADD went undiagnosed as a kid because Straight didn't give a shit about proper diagnosis and treatment. :roll: I personally think both PTSD and ADD are the problem.
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http://sanmateo.networkofcare.org/mh/li ... d=hw166083 (http://sanmateo.networkofcare.org/mh/library/hwdetail.cfm?hwid=hw166083)
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On 2005-09-22 08:26:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:
"I have been diagnosed with PTSD very recently. The counselor is also looking into the possibility of ADD as well....but ADD has not been diagnosed yet. I suspect ADD went undiagnosed as a kid because Straight didn't give a shit about proper diagnosis and treatment. :roll: I personally think both PTSD and ADD are the problem."
No, the only type of "treatment" dished out at Straight was the one-size-fits-all Stepcult dogma, "Apply your Program".
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Ironic how the Stepcult causes more and worse problems than it purports to solve. If any of us had problems like ADD, deprssion, or whatever, the last place we needed to be was Straight....it only made things much, much worse. Stepcult institutions like Straight are fucked up beyond belief. In the future, people will look to the Stepcult much as they do being bled by leeches. I can't count the number of times that Straight staff would proclaim that the Steps could help anybody--drug problem or no--much better than psychiatry, psychology, medicine, or even common sense. How fucking ridiculous. About on the level of faith-healer types whop won't take their kids to see a doctor, but will pray over them constantly. That's the type of shit the Stepcult spawns.
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On 2005-09-22 16:40:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Ironic how the Stepcult causes more and worse problems than it purports to solve. If any of us had problems like ADD, deprssion, or whatever, the last place we needed to be was Straight....it only made things much, much worse. Stepcult institutions like Straight are fucked up beyond belief."
That was probably my actual problem, ADD and depression, before Straight. Funny, my counselor said something similar...that Straight was the last thing I needed and she said the damage it would cause me was pretty obvious and severe. Mind you she could see this clearly within 30 minutes or less of talking to me for the first time. So this begs the obvious question. If a counselor can determine that Straight was fucked up that fast...why the fuck do so many people buy into Straight's quackary bullshit? :roll:
BTW...whoever has posted links...thanks!
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I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Something that happened to me when I was in my early twenties is that I started having panic attacks and ... I started having trouble reading. It was really weird, but it didn't last too long, maybe a few months. But for me I think it was severe anxiety. I started having trouble driving too. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully explained it was anxiety, and just knowing that I wasn't just crazy made it get a little better.
Luckily I wasn't working at the time, just going to school, although my grades definitely weren't that great. But I think the thing that is important to realize is that you're not crazy, you're just going through a lot of emotions right now. There's nothing wrong with you.
If you're in school, can you maybe take out some school loans for a semester or something so you don't have to work for a while? You can always pay it back later.
Hope this helps.
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The trouble I have to deal with is all of these bugs. They're everywhere! Fucking EVERYWHERE! I spray my apt with raid, I go through 2-3 cans of it a week! I shower three times a day, but they don't come off! Last night I woke up and they were crawling out of my fucking mouth! Roaches, ants, FLEAS, spiders...all over me, all over everything. I can't get rid of them!!! Any advice??
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On 2005-09-22 22:10:00, Anonymous wrote:
"The trouble I have to deal with is all of these bugs. They're everywhere! Fucking EVERYWHERE! I spray my apt with raid, I go through 2-3 cans of it a week! I shower three times a day, but they don't come off! Last night I woke up and they were crawling out of my fucking mouth! Roaches, ants, FLEAS, spiders...all over me, all over everything. I can't get rid of them!!! Any advice??"
Lay off the crystal meth for a week or so. The bugs will go away, I promise......
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On 2005-09-22 21:28:00, JMA wrote:
"I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Something that happened to me when I was in my early twenties is that I started having panic attacks and ... I started having trouble reading. It was really weird, but it didn't last too long, maybe a few months. But for me I think it was severe anxiety. I started having trouble driving too. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully explained it was anxiety, and just knowing that I wasn't just crazy made it get a little better.
Luckily I wasn't working at the time, just going to school, although my grades definitely weren't that great. But I think the thing that is important to realize is that you're not crazy, you're just going through a lot of emotions right now. There's nothing wrong with you.
If you're in school, can you maybe take out some school loans for a semester or something so you don't have to work for a while? You can always pay it back later."
Yeah I know all about student loans...I have been depending on them for a long time and never would have been able to go to school without them. That will save ass during my time off work.
My counselor explained the anxiety thing to me and that I'm not crazy. I've had plenty of panic attacks too over the years myself, which incidentally, also started in my early twenties. Panic attacks are no fun since they seem very real at the time! Have you ever found a way to bring a full blown panic attack under control without a trip to the ER?
I hate that I cant read for any length of time right now. Its frustating but I'm relieved that it is "normal" for both PTSD and Anxiety. Seems like both PTSD and Anxiety are often linked. I'm also glad to hear that this will get better soon because I'm just worried about whether or not I will be able to work once the 90 days are up.
The more I read about what we all have had to deal with over the years or continue to deal with now, just makes me angrier with Straight. None of us deserve the Straight baggage we all lug around to various degrees. Sorry that you had a rough time too. And, thanks for your reassurance, I needed it. ::rainbow::
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On 2005-09-23 11:10:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:
"On 2005-09-22 21:28:00, JMA wrote:
"I'm really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Something that happened to me when I was in my early twenties is that I started having panic attacks and ... I started having trouble reading. It was really weird, but it didn't last too long, maybe a few months. But for me I think it was severe anxiety. I started having trouble driving too. I started seeing a counselor who thankfully explained it was anxiety, and just knowing that I wasn't just crazy made it get a little better.
Luckily I wasn't working at the time, just going to school, although my grades definitely weren't that great. But I think the thing that is important to realize is that you're not crazy, you're just going through a lot of emotions right now. There's nothing wrong with you.
If you're in school, can you maybe take out some school loans for a semester or something so you don't have to work for a while? You can always pay it back later."
Yeah I know all about student loans...I have been depending on them for a long time and never would have been able to go to school without them. That will save ass during my time off work.
My counselor explained the anxiety thing to me and that I'm not crazy. I've had plenty of panic attacks too over the years myself, which incidentally, also started in my early twenties. Panic attacks are no fun since they seem very real at the time! Have you ever found a way to bring a full blown panic attack under control without a trip to the ER?
I hate that I cant read for any length of time right now. Its frustating but I'm relieved that it is "normal" for both PTSD and Anxiety. Seems like both PTSD and Anxiety are often linked. I'm also glad to hear that this will get better soon because I'm just worried about whether or not I will be able to work once the 90 days are up.
The more I read about what we all have had to deal with over the years or continue to deal with now, just makes me angrier with Straight. None of us deserve the Straight baggage we all lug around to various degrees. Sorry that you had a rough time too. And, thanks for your reassurance, I needed it. ::rainbow:: "
No problem. As for stopping an anxiety attack--Number one, don't stop breathing. Force yourself to take deep slow breaths if you have to. Other things that help are singing and running, I guess cause they regulate your breathing also.
Number two, let yourself be scared. It's OK to be scared, which is unfortunately something I think we were taught in straight is a sign of weakness.
Also, most physicians will give you a bottle of xanax, that you can take if you have a panic attack.
[ This Message was edited by: JMA on 2005-09-23 15:08 ]
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Oh man nothing beats xanax. Not that I get panic attacks or anything. I just love xanax. Xanax and a nice cold hefeweizen makes anything go away.
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what helps, did anyone go through this thing and get their concentration and everything back again and how did you do that. thank you.
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On 2005-09-25 08:55:00, Anonymous wrote:
"what helps, did anyone go through this thing and get their concentration and everything back again and how did you do that. thank you."
I was diagnoised (sp) with ADD some time back. I experienced many of the things mentioned in this post. My supervisor the director of nursing where I was employed at the time insisted that I go get "checked out". Three Dr's later I accepted the diag. as ADD. Ritilan was prescibed along with Klonopin (for "explosive temper disorder", a co-morbid state in associataion with the ADD)
The Klonopin definately took the wind out of my sails! The Ritilan had no "physical" effect, mentally however it was much like putting on a pair of glasses. The Ritilan took alot of my "clownishness" away from me (which I don't like) yet, it allows my attention to become razor sharp...almost tunnel visioned. Before that it was much like the channles of a television where tween my ears and I consistantly switched from one to another.
I always lacked the physical hyperactivity, most if not all the hyperactivity takes place tween my ears...so yeah it was over looked accept that I was percieved as an "under achiever" (which could still be easily argued)
Now, I take the meds when I need them, and when I want to. I take them when I need to focus, as in a new job, or when I have new things to learn, or if I expect to do alot of reading. The Ritilan was invaluable when I was going for my Microsoft Certifacations.
Of all the psyic disorders one could have, Attention Defecit Disorder w/out Hyperactivity is the one to have. I am literally my own source of entertainment much of the time. I enjoy who I am. The medications take much of that from me. I have an argeement with my Dr. in that the only time I will take the meds is when I want to and the times the are needed. No more than that, and this works well for me.
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On 2005-09-25 08:55:00, Anonymous wrote:
"what helps, did anyone go through this thing and get their concentration and everything back again and how did you do that. thank you."
Drugs help. A lot.
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Yes. They do.
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I've been prescribed Zoloft for the PTSD. So far, I already don't like it. It put me to sleep and hours later I still feel like a zombie. I have to do everything to show I am being "proactive" in seeking proper treatment to keep my job and to be allowed to take the bar exam. So, I only want to take it temporarily...I just don't know how long temporarily is just yet.
Has anyone had personal experience with Zoloft? Good or bad?
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You got to follow your instincts, not take some medication that you are not comfortable with just to look a certain way to your job. This is YOUR LIFE. Nobody owns you. That is no way to go about taking care of your health.
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Zoloft can be very good, if it is right for you.
Usually there is no side effects when it is the
correct medications for your conditions.
If it is not, it won't work. Plus, you will probably
have sustained side effects.
Often though, and ititial side effect will dissapear quickly.
Discuss the particular side effects you are having with your doctor and decide on an acceptable level of discomfort, and when to stop your personal clinical trial with a particular medicine.