Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Withdraw on September 09, 2005, 06:36:00 AM
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After reading on the troubled teen indutry forum's thread called .. Looking for suvivors ..
I remembered Staff telling us to close our eyes and then they would put us in a trance like state ( simalar to group hypnosis ) Taking us thru a guided medataion of sorts. Does anyone remeber what kind of imagery they set up for us ? Or what direction the " rap " took after these? I can not recall what direction they were sending us, I must have blocked it out or something. But I clearly remember Staff doing this.
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The only guided imagery/meditation stuff I remember was referred to as "beach therapy". Sometimes staff..sometimes phaser, taking us on a vacation from the blue chair.
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I have not thought about this in 18 years...but reading your post I recall lying down on the cold tile floor (it felt soooo good not to have to sit in those chairs)...closing my eyes and having staff talk us through a beach scene...I recall something about a hammock and blue water and warm sand...
But what is creepy is that I do not recall the purpose of the exercise or what "direction" the rap took after that...
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Oh my god...this is freaky.....I remember that if I'm thinking of the same thing that is.....The lights were turned down. They definitely "set a mood." Those raps were always preceded by the more sappy of the stupid songs. We sat in a giant circle on the floor.(where I was anyway)I remember generally the direction those raps always took were really serious, lots of crying (usually little if any confrontation). Tons of "I love you." The rap topic was always something real heavy, guaranteed to make us cry.
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I definitely recall the "mood" raps. They would play a sappy song or tell a sappy story and then get us to cry and share our feelings...We had one in 1999 on the song "What about me" ate some point we also had one with the song "The Rose" and I think there were a few more...
But what I am talking about was something different (I think)...we were told to lay down and close our eyes and imagine ourselves on a beach... I also recall the term "beach therapy" it happened more than once...but I do not recall what followed it or why we did it...maybe it was just another one of those sappy raps...I just do not remember...
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I meant 1988
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On 2005-09-09 09:31:00, the wet noodle wrote:
"I definitely recall the "mood" raps. They would play a sappy song or tell a sappy story and then get us to cry and share our feelings...We had one in 1999 on the song "What about me" ate some point we also had one with the song "The Rose" and I think there were a few more...
But what I am talking about was something different (I think)...we were told to lay down and close our eyes and imagine ourselves on a beach... I also recall the term "beach therapy" it happened more than once...but I do not recall what followed it or why we did it...maybe it was just another one of those sappy raps...I just do not remember..."
We did that as well. Sometimes in place of exercise raps we would have meditation instead. We were told to imagine we were at the beach and then we would have to tighten and release each area of our bodies. I used to like those raps because it was the closest I could get to having a nap to help me out with the previous night's sleep depravation.
On another note I wonder how many people here have sleep problems since being in that place.
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Christ this is confusing...I've either blocked a lot out or else straight's lies/mind control methods made sure my memories were blocked, or both...I dont know....
I remember being told to close our eyes and imagine something...specifically what I cant remember....but generallly it was a rather serene image we were told to imagine...so the beach things makes perfect sense even though I dont remember it specifically. I do remember this preceeded those mood raps....but it may have been a part something else altogether too. Or maybe different Straight programs had variations on the same theme? Where I was it seemed to be, for lack of a better way of putting it, a "special occasion" so to speak.
Where I was it was dimmed lights throughtout -1st) sappy songs 2nd) the close our eyes and imagine the serene scene, 3rd) staff intoduced specific heavy topic talked about a specific heavy emotional incident 4th) open eyes and the rap begins 5) tons of crying and "I love you's"
If you guys are talking about something different can you give more details (if possible that is)?...maybe its something different that I completely blocked out....There is something about this possibility that feels very creepy to me.
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On 2005-09-09 10:11:00, Nonconformistlaw wrote:
"Christ this is confusing...I've either blocked a lot out or else straight's lies/mind control methods made sure my memories were blocked, or both...I dont know....
I remember being told to close our eyes and imagine something...specifically what I cant remember....but generallly it was a rather serene image we were told to imagine...so the beach things makes perfect sense even though I dont remember it specifically. I do remember this preceeded those mood raps....but it may have been a part something else altogether too. Or maybe different Straight programs had variations on the same theme? Where I was it seemed to be, for lack of a better way of putting it, a "special occasion" so to speak.
Where I was it was dimmed lights throughtout -1st) sappy songs 2nd) the close our eyes and imagine the serene scene, 3rd) staff intoduced specific heavy topic talked about a specific heavy emotional incident 4th) open eyes and the rap begins 5) tons of crying and "I love you's"
If you guys are talking about something different can you give more details (if possible that is)?...maybe its something different that I completely blocked out....There is something about this possibility that feels very creepy to me."
We had the raps in Michigan you are referring to as well. The meditation I'm referring to was done in place of the regular futile attempts at excercise in exercise raps.
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I think that Webcrawler is right... I recall that the "beach therapy" may have been in lieu of exercise rap... I also vaguely recall taking the opportunity to sleep during these times...
But I am also agree with NCL that it gives me the creeps that my memory is so hazy on this subject...
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On 2005-09-09 10:28:00, the wet noodle wrote:
"I think that Webcrawler is right... I recall that the "beach therapy" may have been in lieu of exercise rap... I also vaguely recall taking the opportunity to sleep during these times...
But I am also agree with NCL that it gives me the creeps that my memory is so hazy on this subject..."
The more you read these boards the more you will remember. I had forgotten most details until I found these boards. It has been a double edged sword. Part of me wishes I still did not remember things.
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I had forgotten about this until I started reading this thread, but I remember the same that the lights were dimmed and the staff member would take us on some kind of guided meditation, then afterwards we were to relate.
When I tell the truth, it is not for the sake of convincing those who do not know it, but for the sake of defending those that do.
William Blake
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i remember too
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Yes, "Beach Therapy" Wow ! I wish I could recal the full memories of this. Hypnosis like these occured in EVERY thought reform program I've read about. It must had been an intrict part of the "Brainwash"
What is spooky is it happened to all us of in diffrent facilities.
This is very interesting to me, As counselors after straight ( and in my own spirituality ) I have tried and been directed to go into a trance like this using guided imagery..As a theraputic exercise. NO matter how hard I try I can not allow myself to achieve the state.
I wonder what they did to us before , during and after these sessions that I refuse to allow to happen again.
I have thought for years I was better off because I didn't Ever Comply... But facts are I was effected as much and more so than many. It was things like this I couldn't help but participate in, Because yes, It seemed like a good time to finally close my eyes and rest or "mentally escape". But these types of sessions are used in programs everywhere as part of the "Brainwashing"
We had so little or no contol over our own minds in Straight , It is frightening.
And yes, I do believe that in our "Brainwashing " We were forced to forget the many trainings such as this. Amazing for everyone , it has taken right around 15 years to WAKE up from this Trance Straight Imposed on us.
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It is like a WAKE UP talking about this. I remember when we were doing this " TOUR " so to say it would take us to a world of happy happy joy joy. Also I remember doing skits about what our lives were like before straight...Was just a good way for them to blow people away for glamorizing their druggie past, or praise people for thinking of themselves as " BOPS ".
The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.
--John Adams, U.S. President
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Would that be Richard Mullinax and Steve Turney? or is it Tierney? Do you know for sure? I don't, that's why I am asking.
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Thats really sickening... dragonfly.
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Yeah what, Tierney or Turney? :lol:
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Yes, beach therapy in lieu of exercise rap. That's it. How weird. I don't remember any sharing before or after.. just the beach thing..I remember people getting into trouble for falling asleep.
Those sappy raps..ugh. I remember once when Mark GL**er and Glen St****ton did a "skit" over the loud speaker thingy making sounds of bong hits and playing pink floyd or something. I remember thinking then that it was forshadowing for the both of them.. That they would be smoking bong hits sometime in the future. Watching kids cry about it was weird to me. I recall people saying that it made them feel "weak". It just made me feel... stupid. It reminded me of just how stupid I acted and how stupid bong hits ..just the words..bong..hits..its stupid.
TO ME!
Anyway,
I did "get feelings" once when Mike K**day asked, seemingly out of nowwhere, for me to describe how "mushrooms" tasted. I lost it. He then asked me to describe the taste of smoking cocaine... I couldn't speak. It was effective ..at getting me to ... feel something. I can't remember now what the feelings were.
I don't remember getting sucked into the songs.. I never really learned the words to most of them. Just as I never really learned all the rules. That whole no 1 on 1..3 on 4 or whatever. Never got that. I didn't know there was a rule to report all concerns until this cunt of a misbehavior busted me out..after she started "working" again and said I did not report concerns on her. I thought that was the stupidist shit I had ever heard of. She was misbehaving and kept asking me to leave with her. I was fucking 19 years old, I could leave whenever I wanted to.. why would I put in a concern on her... she was doing what she was supposed to be doing..misbehaving. WHATEVER!!
sigh..will this ever stop?
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On 2005-09-09 15:51:00, Sophie wrote:
"I did "get feelings" once when Mike K**day asked, seemingly out of nowwhere, for me to describe how "mushrooms" tasted. I lost it. He then asked me to describe the taste of smoking cocaine... I couldn't speak. It was effective ..at getting me to ... feel something. I can't remember now what the feelings were."
The feelings were PLEASURE. You loved it! Drugs are fun! You would be a WHOLE lot less uptight if you started doing some drugs again, Sophie.
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On 2005-09-09 15:51:00, Sophie wrote:
"...I never really learned all the rules. That whole no 1 on 1..3 on 4 or whatever. Never got that. I didn't know there was a rule to report all concerns until this cunt of a misbehavior busted me out..after she started "working" again and said I did not report concerns on her. I thought that was the stupidist shit I had ever heard of. She was misbehaving and kept asking me to leave with her. I was fucking 19 years old, I could leave whenever I wanted to.. why would I put in a concern on her... she was doing what she was supposed to be doing..misbehaving. WHATEVER!!
sigh..will this ever stop? "
Oh my god, you are so fucking warped. This "cunt" of a misbehavor? A minor, whom, by the way, you were holding against her will in collusion with the police, her parents and Straight, Inc. It's your tough fucking shit and an example of how the brainwashing helps you to blame entirely the wrong person that she ratted you out. What you should have done is open the door and let her leave, or else leave with her! But you were having too much fun getting brainwashed and also participating in your newcomers brainwashing. So surprise of surprises, when the brainwashing, or the survival instincts, took over and she figured out to rat you out.
By the by, did you ever witness this "cunt of a misbehaver" getting restrained?
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Oh my god.. I seriously thought I deleted the phrase "c**** of a whatever". Sorry, first of all for that.
Secondly, I never kept anyone in straight nor stopped anyone from leaving straight. This chick said this to me when I was walking her across the street to the dentist. I never restrained anyone or chased anyone.
Finally, I am ok with the amount of "uptight" that I am. But thanks for your concern.
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yes, I did see her get restrained..sort of, more like man handled and wrestled to the ground in a ridiculous and violent sort of way be either rob hockersmith or one of the frye brothers. They were staff and she was..not staff. I remember intentionally dissociating.. I can see the begining of the struggle and that's it.
I went in having already survived abuse and had the coping mechanism of totally blanking out before I got there. I think that's why I lasted in there as long as I did. If straight had been my first shot at physical and emotional abuse I probably couldn't have tolerated it. Well.. I am sure of that.
In conversations with my husband, who was also in straight...but had a totally different experience, I recognize that I was not present for most of my time there. Upside and downside to every trauma I have ever experienced is that the coping mechanisms that develop are very powerful.
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On 2005-09-09 19:24:00, Sophie wrote:
I never kept anyone in straight nor stopped anyone from leaving straight. This chick said this to me when I was walking her across the street to the dentist. I never restrained anyone or chased anyone.
By "beltlooping" her, you DID keep her from leaving. Wake up!
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Withdraw said--------"Yes, "Beach Therapy" Wow ! I wish I could recal the full memories of this. Hypnosis like these occured in EVERY thought reform program I've read about. It must had been an intrict part of the "Brainwash" ..........And yes, I do believe that in our "Brainwashing " We were forced to forget the many trainings such as this. Amazing for everyone , it has taken right around 15 years to WAKE up from this Trance Straight Imposed on us."-----------
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Yeah...you hit what was giving me the creeps big time, that I may not remember because it was part of the "brainwash"....I cannot remember the beach therapy to save my life...and there are things that I am told by people that I should definitly remember...I wrote about this before, not remembering a one hour visit with my mother (NOT in the "program")...My dad knows nothing about this either....this is something I would have been excited about and incessantly "shared my feelings" with my dad and "group" about.....there is no way this should be a difficult thing to remember....what did they do to me???? Its not in my mind at all...its more like a gap or hole in my mind where that memory should be...
After reading descriptions of the beach therapy, its starting to feel more "familiar" but I still cant remember.
Obviously the question is...were we ever supposed to "WAKE UP"? I know if I wasnt reading other posts, if it weren't for the internet....its very unlikely I would be "waking up" now.
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On 2005-09-10 09:25:00, dragonfly wrote:
"
On 2005-09-09 15:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Yeah what, Tierney or Turney? :lol: "
yeah i know for sure
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Why won't you post it here?
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The not remembering could also be part of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I believe that is the case for me.[ This Message was edited by: Sophie on 2005-09-10 15:06 ]
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On 2005-09-10 13:29:00, Anonymous wrote:
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On 2005-09-10 09:25:00, dragonfly wrote:
"
On 2005-09-09 15:47:00, Anonymous wrote:
"Yeah what, Tierney or Turney? :lol: "
yeah i know for sure
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Why won't you post it here?"
He could get in trouble for talking behind backs.
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Sophie said-----"The not remembering could also be part of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I believe that is the case for me."-----
Good point...I didnt think about that. I hate having such large holes of nothing in my memory....do you know if the memory is supposed to ever come back? Just wondering---I was just told I probably have PTSD too (what a surprise huh?).
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My original trauma took place long before straight. I have recovered a lot of memories. It has taken a lot of time. I am more likely to uncover them while discussing things with other people. I still have an awful memory. My husband gets very frustrated with me because of it. The upside is he can tell me stupid jokes and I laugh every time because I don't remember them from before!!! :grin:
About PTSD
I snagged this from a website:
Who is most likely to develop PTSD?
1. Those who experience greater stressor magnitude and intensity, unpredictability, uncontrollability, sexual (as opposed to nonsexual) victimization, real or perceived responsibility, and betrayal
2. Those with prior vulnerability factors such as genetics, early age of onset and longer-lasting childhood trauma, lack of functional social support, and concurrent stressful life events
3. Those who report greater perceived threat or danger, suffering, upset, terror, and horror or fear
4. Those with a social environment that produces shame, guilt, stigmatization, or self-hatred
check out this link
http://www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/a ... or/ptsd_4/ (http://www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/articles/behavior/ptsd_4/)
Hope it helps. :wink:
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On 2005-09-09 15:51:00, Sophie wrote:
"Yes, beach therapy in lieu of exercise rap. That's it. How weird. I don't remember any sharing before or after.. just the beach thing..I remember people getting into trouble for falling asleep.
Those sappy raps..ugh. I remember once when Mark GL**er and Glen St****ton did a "skit" over the loud speaker thingy making sounds of bong hits and playing pink floyd or something. I remember thinking then that it was forshadowing for the both of them.. That they would be smoking bong hits sometime in the future. Watching kids cry about it was weird to me. I recall people saying that it made them feel "weak". It just made me feel... stupid. It reminded me of just how stupid I acted and how stupid bong hits ..just the words..bong..hits..its stupid.
TO ME!
Anyway,
I did "get feelings" once when Mike K**day asked, seemingly out of nowwhere, for me to describe how "mushrooms" tasted. I lost it. He then asked me to describe the taste of smoking cocaine... I couldn't speak. It was effective ..at getting me to ... feel something. I can't remember now what the feelings were.
I don't remember getting sucked into the songs.. I never really learned the words to most of them. Just as I never really learned all the rules. That whole no 1 on 1..3 on 4 or whatever. Never got that. I didn't know there was a rule to report all concerns until this cunt of a misbehavior busted me out..after she started "working" again and said I did not report concerns on her. I thought that was the stupidist shit I had ever heard of. She was misbehaving and kept asking me to leave with her. I was fucking 19 years old, I could leave whenever I wanted to.. why would I put in a concern on her... she was doing what she was supposed to be doing..misbehaving. WHATEVER!!
sigh..will this ever stop? "
Let's hear it for that cunt of a misbehaver. :tup:
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I remember beach therapy and meditation. It was usually the paraprofessionals who did it during exercise rap. I guess it could've been like hypnosis as a part of the brainwashing, makes sense.
Except that I know Mike R##se or Holly Min##ck were not smart enough to accomplish anything like that. (Sorry, that was hateful).
This reminds me of something a little different. Does anyone remember "snag raps"
I was around for so long that I knew when it was coming.
"tell us about a time when you had fun in your past"
The staffer would tell about a time that he got drunk and had sex, or stole a car, or whatever. The one I remember most was a guy's rap. After they tricked about 5 or 6 people to "BS about their past" the wall of fifth phasers would begin. Then everybody would get seriously confronted. This was very scarey, and I was very close to being one of them, but they had bigger fish to fry. Those that "caught" someone reveling in their past seemed to take great joy in the experience, making fishing noises and air-fishing (snagged!).
One time staff members walked out in "imagey" clothing and used slang, to get people to identify with being a deadhead or metalhead or whatever, then, you guessed it, "snagged".
I think this particluar form of raps was blatant abuse and served to really make us feel unstable. "you can trust us, we love you" and then pulling the rug out.
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On 2005-09-19 10:36:00, shady grove wrote:
"I remember beach therapy and meditation. It was usually the paraprofessionals who did it during exercise rap. I guess it could've been like hypnosis as a part of the brainwashing, makes sense.
Except that I know Mike R##se or Holly Min##ck were not smart enough to accomplish anything like that. (Sorry, that was hateful).
This reminds me of something a little different. Does anyone remember "snag raps"
I was around for so long that I knew when it was coming.
"tell us about a time when you had fun in your past"
The staffer would tell about a time that he got drunk and had sex, or stole a car, or whatever. The one I remember most was a guy's rap. After they tricked about 5 or 6 people to "BS about their past" the wall of fifth phasers would begin. Then everybody would get seriously confronted. This was very scarey, and I was very close to being one of them, but they had bigger fish to fry. Those that "caught" someone reveling in their past seemed to take great joy in the experience, making fishing noises and air-fishing (snagged!).
One time staff members walked out in "imagey" clothing and used slang, to get people to identify with being a deadhead or metalhead or whatever, then, you guessed it, "snagged".
I think this particluar form of raps was blatant abuse and served to really make us feel unstable. "you can trust us, we love you" and then pulling the rug out."
I don't recall staff ever asking us about good times, but they would play music or do skits and then ask us to share our feelings. They were lame to say the least.
We did however have a night that us Michigan survivors term "Black Saturday". Staff had a pile of COC's and one by one people were stood up to relate and ripped and set back. That night almost every guy oldcomer was set back and guys were having to go home with 4 or 5 newcomers to one oldcomer. I believe even staff took a few of the guys home that were setback. We had this one staff member that was very intimidating and he's the one that led rap that gloomy night.
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On 2005-09-19 10:36:00, shady grove wrote:
"...Does anyone remember "snag raps"
I was around for so long that I knew when it was coming.
"tell us about a time when you had fun in your past"
The staffer would tell about a time that he got drunk and had sex, or stole a car, or whatever. The one I remember most was a guy's rap. After they tricked about 5 or 6 people to "BS about their past" the wall of fifth phasers would begin. Then everybody would get seriously confronted. This was very scarey, and I was very close to being one of them, but they had bigger fish to fry. Those that "caught" someone reveling in their past seemed to take great joy in the experience, making fishing noises and air-fishing (snagged!).
One time staff members walked out in "imagey" clothing and used slang, to get people to identify with being a deadhead or metalhead or whatever, then, you guessed it, "snagged".
crazy memories. As the pope said "It is as it was..."