Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: Anonymous on August 15, 2005, 12:48:00 PM
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I'm having a real hard time. I spent 2 years in Straight in the early 80's. I've never dealt with the rage that I have towards Newton/Cassian and gang, ever. There is no real way to deal with it either, unless Newton was in front of me, and I could tell him exactly how I felt. But he's a coward too, so now he hides behind his fake priest's collar and fake church.
I've been able to get thru life, with the rage built up inside. The only way I know how to do this is with self medication. Smoking mother nature has provided me with a pain-free stomach, and I have fended off ulcers too as a result. Alcohol helps me forget about my rage towards Straight. I don't like to drink, but it's legal, right. I am a total non-violent pacifist. I've never struck anyone my whole entire life, but have been struck many times by ex-girlfriends for absolutely no reason, except for their impairment and/or lack of better judgement. I also have a college degree, and a professional license. I'm loving, caring, thoughtful and courteous, despite my dark rage and contempt for Straight which is hidden deep inside.
But now, I was arrested at a rock concert for smoking a joint, and now face probation. If I fail probation, I guess I go to jail. This is inconcievable to me in this day and age, considering that at the concert, anyone could buy 32oz "tubs" of beer all day long, and get as legally hammered as they want! How many lives does alcohol and tobacco take every single day, but you can buy them by the truckloads at any corner store in America! The law MUST be changed, and marijuana MUST be decriminalized. If not, than the only rational thing to do is outlaw alcohol and tobacco as well. Think about it. The studies prove it, and Canada is finally recognizing it.
http://www.dissidentvoice.org/Articles/ ... nalize.htm (http://www.dissidentvoice.org/Articles/Hook_Decriminalize.htm)
If I fail probation, I'm not going to jail, one way or the other. I'm not going to be subjected to that once AGAIN in my life. I would rather be a fugitive in Canada, or put a bullet in my head, than risk being "bitch fodder" for some lonely inmate. Not gonna happen. So thanks Miller Newton. Thanks for everything. I'm trying to avoid the fantasy of walking up to Newton's fake church on Madiera Beach, and after I've asked him to publically apologize to all of us who have suffered his injustices, then blowing my head off on his front lawn. Then maybe he would understand the enormity of his deeds. I won't, but like I said, I'm not going to jail either.
Only God can play God! Look what you have done to us Newton/Cassian! My heart cries out for us all. I hope that the rest of you are in a better place than I am.
Please help change the laws. Email your reps today!!
PEACE One and All.
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Damn! Sorry to hear about your troubles. This too will pass, though. Just remember that. And you certainly want to hang around and see it live and in person when the drug warriors finally are forced to vacate the field of battle. It'll happen eventually.
I think the biggest problem we have to deal with is going to turn out to be the source of our solution. The problem is that the people who support the drug war are absolutely true believers. And, for the most part (not all of them) they're also fine, hard working hero types.
But they're also among the most agrieved victims of these policies. And, little by little, they're starting to realize it and to say so. Check out http://leap.cc/ (http://leap.cc/) If you could get these guys to come address your local Rotary club, I think that would be a good deal more effective than anything you or I could say to anyone.
A student burst into his office. "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."
--Professor Stigler
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I hear ya loud and clear, OP. I have found benadryl to be effective for the some of the same things i smoke the weed for. Mother fucking SUCKS that you are on probation. If I were you I would look into some professional solutions such as purchased piss, not that I know anything about it. Get some pro advice on the matter.
What the fuck person in this country thinks any god damn other person but this one has the right to decide whether or not he can smoke MARIJUANA? Raise your hands, busybodies of the USA.
And fuck the fuck lot of you who don't give a flying fuck about a class action lawsuit. Why do you think it's so easy for the Straight copy-cats to still be in business? Why do you think people are still bent after twenty years? There has been no closure, no redress, no public excoriation of the True Child Abusing Criminals. No apology, no fund for anyone's motherfukkin health care.
I personally would pick B.C. Ex-patriation is worth considering. It is also worth considering impeaching every last motherfukkin politician. It is worth considering slashing the tires of every stupid flag waving proud law abiding citizen who thinks it's their motherfukkin right to tell me what the fuck I can do that is none of anyone's god damn business but my own.
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i understand your concerns about the law. i live under their threats every day. And i was in straight too and live with that every day. If this is your first offense you probably won't have to go to jail. i don't know what state your in, but i was busted in PA in '99 for D.U.I, possession of paraphenalia(my pipe), possession of a small amount of marajuana and resisting arrest. They had to hold me down and mase(sp?) me pretty hard to get me cuffed and into the back of their police car. That was my first arrest, not countin' my juvenile record. They ended up droppin' everything but the D.U.I. and i got 12 months of probation out of it. They also suspended my license for 30 days, and made me pay some fines and court costs(approx. $1,800.oo) The whole time i was on probation i was only piss tested once at the beginning, after that initial piss test i never got tested again. i did more drugs during that year then i had ever done before. The thing is when you go in to meet your p.o. for the first time, to act like you learned your lesson. It would be smart of you to give the pretense of respect by dressing decently. i think it would be wise to quit smokin' pot for about 30 days before you are sentenced. That way you know that your urine will be clean. THC is stored in the fat so the more fat you have on you the longer it takes to clean out your system. If you are thin you could clean yourself out in 20 days, or maybe even less. i don't trust any of the detoxifiers that you can buy at G.N.C. or any of the other health stores. They don't work. Some people say you can drink a gallon or 2 of golden seal the night before a piss test or just tons of water. i don't really know how well those techniques work. Maybe someone with experience could comment on those techniques. i've heard that cranbberry juice is a natural THC detoxifier. Don't go in there lookin' like a punk or a hood. Look him/her in the eye and be humble, but don't volunteer any information. Answer any questions that might be asked of you concernin' how your job is goin' or how your relationships with your spouse and kids are goin'. Always put the best spin possible on your answers. Always play it cool. The first impression you make will go a long way toward keepin' your p.o. from makin' things difficult for you. Best of luck.
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Also, in the spirit of 'packing your bags' for this new trip, you might try and find some actual respect and compassion for the poor sob who's job it will be to take you to task for this bullshit. No, really. I would imagine most POs are a lot like most teachers. They know that most of their job is bullshit, they're just going through the motions and, likely, privately searching for a better way. Maybe not. But it can't hurt to hold out a little hope and give it a shot, so long as you're not counting on it to the point where you'll be crushed if you're dealt anothre mindless dweeb.
OTOH, we all have special training in the proper handling of mindless dweebs. Use it! God knows we paid dearly for that tutelage.Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?"
Priest: "No, not if you did not know."
Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"
--Annie Dillard, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek"
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i understand your troubles.....i got busted w/ a bag of weed in 2003. i was put on 12 months of probation....i tested clean for 7 months of it....let me tell you, probation was the worst...nothing like some nasty old woman crouching down looking on while you try to piss in a cup...some months i would be there all day trying to piss....it was humiliating.....well, i failed a drug test 7 months into it and got sent to jail for 13 days......man, if knew that was all it would have taken in the first place, i would have gone to jail in the first place.....not to mention the $6,000.00 i spent on my worthless attorney....hell, i would have gotten the same deal, if not better, using a public defender.....probation is just one big fund raiser for whatever county you are in.....
hope you feel better soon
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I guess the lesson here is, dont use deugs. DUH
Are you from the Valley??? :grin:
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Well... i think the real lesson here is that the government is a racket, bent on exploiting its' "citizens".
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Whatever the case, you druggies should damn well know better by now! Have you forgotten all that Straight taught you?? When the HELL are you going to learn that drug use will eventually lead you down the slippery slope to INSANITY, JAIL, and/or DEATH?? What is it going to take???
The StraightMobile? will be out and about this week.
Now, you can come along the easy way, or the hard way....your choice. :wave:
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"Have you forgotten all that str8 taught you ?"
No, not at all, Dr. Fucktard. Before i entered Str8 i had many reasons to suspect that all authority was simply oppression. The public school system is just a brainwash instituion, producin' slaves to prop up a corrupt government. Str8 taught me that my instincts were right all along. That Americas' democracy is really a thinly disguised form of fascism. When i enterd str8 i learned the real values of the society that we live in. Sure, you're free, as long as you do what we say and believe what we tell you. All the great things that i was taught about America as a child turned out to be lies.
So thanks for your concern Dr. Fucktard, but i think i'll pass. And also you might wanna keep your straight mobile outta my neighborhood cause if i see it around here i'm gonna hit it hard with my Anarchy tags. Fair warnin' brother.
Peace.
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On 2005-08-16 09:22:00, Anonymous wrote:
"I guess the lesson here is, dont use deugs. DUH
Are you from the Valley??? :grin: "
No, the lesson is don't get caught using drugs, asshole. Are you from Teaneck? :roll:
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Goovy, how did you get busted?
The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. ... All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.
--Hermann Goering, Luftwaffe commander, sentenced to death at Nuremberg
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found it in my purse...a night in jail and $1,000.00 bond later, i went home....just to wait 5 months to go to court....a huge pain in the ass, really....
i am not proud of this, but it just made me that much more of a marijuana advocate...
in hind sight, my experience just proved how rediculous our pot laws really are and just how much money i shelled out for the lovely state of Texas.
_________________
HOME SWEET HOME
(http://http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/Toothfairy_TP/ff_amityvillehorror_100604_160_1097101182.jpg)[ This Message was edited by: groovy1634 on 2005-08-20 21:11 ]
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But how did cops gain access to your purse? I'm really curious. How much caution is reasonable and how much is just paranoia?
I believe that relgion is the belief in future life and in God. I don't believe in either. I don't believe in God as I don't believe in Mother Goose.
--Clarence Darrow, American lawyer
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On 2005-08-21 10:11:00, Antigen wrote:
"But how did cops gain access to your purse? I'm really curious. How much caution is reasonable and how much is just paranoia?"
and that is the six million dollar question! :lol:
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On 2005-08-21 10:11:00, Antigen wrote:
"But how did cops gain access to your purse? I'm really curious. How much caution is reasonable and how much is just paranoia?I believe that relgion is the belief in future life and in God. I don't believe in either. I don't believe in God as I don't believe in Mother Goose.
--Clarence Darrow, American lawyer
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wrong place at the wrong time...was visiting friends...they had a domestic call to the house...cops searched everything in the house...at first, they ran my license# and were going to let me leave, but they serched everything in the house, including my purse
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I wonder if that was legal? Ever check out http://www.serendipity.li/wod/barber01.htm (http://www.serendipity.li/wod/barber01.htm) ?
They came with a Bible and their religion- stole our land, crushed our spirit... and now tell us we should be thankful to the 'Lord' for being saved.
--Chief Pontiac, American Indian Chieftain
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the logistics of this thread have me baffled. seems to me there are 2 totally different - and really not related - issues going on. i agree there was a whole world of hurt to deal with after the programs - i had 4 yrs myself - and it took a while to figure that shit out, but after a bit, you do what you do because YES you CHOOSE to do it, and not because your torment from the programs made you keep doing it.
it's my guess that you smoked weed and/or other substances before str8, so why not courageously admit that you just love the drug, and are pissed that you can't freely do it, instead of using the tired old scapegoat of 'i smoke because of my trauma and now i'm in trouble thanks to str8'. you would'a probably kept smokin' up if you hadn't gone into the program, and if you haven't started to deal with the bones of it in 20 yrs maybe a good counselor would be the answer for that part of it.
when i opened this thread, i thought it would talk about real repercussions, but this '20 years later, str8 got me busted for holding weed' is weak at best. yeah sucks that you got snagged, but if you really love smoking dope and want it legalized - which most people who smoke do - why not talk about that, instead of opening with another big harp about str8? i believe you have some rage issues that you've held in and have not dealt with but that is aside from your concert toking and angst with society for pot being illegal. :em:
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Well, Anon. First, it's your problem. Seriously. I don't see that anyone else reading or posting here is having too difficult a time wrapping their minds around the topics that have come up. And I rather suspect that there are not two, but three distinct dialogs going on. But one of them is all in your head. Nobody's blaming Str8 for their current drug use.
Here's the concept that probably illudes you. Most people who smoke a little pot now and then for years or decades simply don't view it as a problem. And few reasonably intillegent people are complaining that they can't freely use whatever drugs they wish. Fact is, you can. People do it all the time. You can get anything you want. But pot? Seriously! None but the most ardent zealot conscripts in the paranoia army seriously think that posession of India Indicus, even a truckload of the shit, should warrant incarceration or other criminal penalties.
It is ever astounding to me, though, how many of us seem to be that brainwashed after all these years.
The time appears to me to have come when it is the duty of all to make their dissent from religion known.
--John Stuart Mill
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Believe me, nothing ELUDED me from the original post, and FYI just because someone has an opinion that differs from the mainstream blame-stream, it doesn't mean they are still in any way brainwashed. I have gone through too much of my own fight against the nightmarish repercussions of that program to have someone who doesn't know me from Jack assuming they know fuck-all about me or my views (which I didn't really express, BTW). If you missed the parts blaming str8 for drug use, please view the following exerpts from the diatribe:
"After more than 20 yrs, how this affects us still to this day" (hint, the following is due to being in str8)
"I've never dealt with the rage that I have towards Newton/Cassian and gang, ever...I've been able to get thru life, with the rage built up inside. The only way I know how to do this is with self medication" (ie. I would not be where I am doing what I'm doing if I did not have this rage towards the program)
"I'm trying to avoid the fantasy of walking up to Newton's fake church on Madiera Beach, and after I've asked him to publically apologize to all of us who have suffered his injustices, then blowing my head off on his front lawn. Then maybe he would understand the enormity of his deeds. I won't, but like I said, I'm not going to jail either." (The predicament I find myself in is due to my smoking pot because I have rage, and therefore got caught out at a concert... can not obviously take responsibility myself for having dope on me, so must blame the program that was over half a lifetime ago)
"Only God can play God! Look what you have done to us Newton/Cassian!"
"So thanks Miller Newton. Thanks for everything." (I do not deny that these 2 phrases adequately express the anguish and bitterness that most if not all of us feel, but in relation to current personal choices, it is late in coming; my point is many of us still do drugs of various kinds for different reasons, but getting into str8 being the root cause of use now, AND for being in a predicament of having gotten caught using, is lame)
"Alcohol helps me forget about my rage towards Straight." *the only valid statement regarding use in this thread*
The whole point of my comments must have ELUDED your obviously astute and needle-like intellect if you think I have any issue with weed, or with people being able to smoke, shoot, ingest or absorb anything they want to. Your sanctimonious tirade -
"Most people who smoke a little pot now and then for years or decades simply don't view it as a problem. And few reasonably intillegent people are complaining that they can't freely use whatever drugs they wish. Fact is, you can. People do it all the time. You can get anything you want. But pot? Seriously! None but the most ardent zealot conscripts in the paranoia army seriously think that posession of India Indicus, even a truckload of the shit, should warrant incarceration or other criminal penalties"
- had nothing to do with what I was pointing out as MY OPINION about the original thread. INTELLIGENT people can discern the true meaning of a paragraph based on the words that are used and where the focus lies. I'm not going to waste my time reiterating what I was saying or defending my personal views because they'd be misconstrued anyway.
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I use drugs because I like to, as I did before Straight. However, I think Straight DID influence me to believe that I would always be an addict if I didn't buy into Stepcraft, and it took me a while to find other, more effective ways of dealing with drug
abuse, as opposed to use. For me, the propaganda became a self-fulfilling prophecy that I "came to believe" for many years.
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On 2005-08-21 12:51:00, Anonymous wrote:
"the logistics of this thread have me baffled. seems to me there are 2 totally different - and really not related - issues going on."
Get used to it. That's what threads are like, people say what they want to say and don't have to stay "on topic".
"i agree there was a whole world of hurt to deal with after the programs - i had 4 yrs myself - and it took a while to figure that shit out, but after a bit, you do what you do because YES you CHOOSE to do it, and not because your torment from the programs made you keep doing it."
People who have been in behavior modification programs have varying degrees of mental health issues. It is acknowledged and known by people who research the after effects of behavior modification, that it can cause schizophrenia, PTSD, and depression that even leads to suicide. There is no black and white time frame for recovering one's mental health. I don't think that even that much is known about how to put such pyschiatric casualties back together. A woman whose sister developed schizophrenia after Straight posts here sometimes. Try telling her sister that her healing time is up and she should be over it and recovered.
"it's my guess that you smoked weed and/or other substances before str8, so why not courageously admit that you just love the drug, and are pissed that you can't freely do it, instead of using the tired old scapegoat of 'i smoke because of my trauma and now i'm in trouble thanks to str8'. you would'a probably kept smokin' up if you hadn't gone into the program, and if you haven't started to deal with the bones of it in 20 yrs maybe a good counselor would be the answer for that part of it."
If you have had a good experience and found a counselor to be helpful, maybe you would be willing to post about how that worked for you and what made it good -- not that you have to get personal.
"when i opened this thread, i thought it would talk about real repercussions, but this '20 years later, str8 got me busted for holding weed' is weak at best."
Did I miss something? I did not hear anyone blaming Straight for getting busted.
"yeah sucks that you got snagged, but if you really love smoking dope and want it legalized - which most people who smoke do - why not talk about that..."
Great idea! I have been toying with the idea of putting some kind of "legalize marijuana" signs on my car, but there is the trip home from the dealer's house to consider...
"instead of opening with another big harp about str8... i believe you have some rage issues that you've held in and not dealt with..."
The fact is, many people from behavior modification/thought reform programs have problems to this day with grief, rage, and fear, and many still have social problems like anxiety. Again, please post your experience dealing with rage issues, if you had any.
When you talk about the things people have to say about Straight, why do you call them a "big harp"? I can't help but read into that that you can't stand it that people might still have things they want to talk about that are leftover from Straight. In my view, people can gain insight from discussing the aftereffects of Straight that they see in their lives. Folks who were in The Seed are still talking about these aftereffects, and they are really real, although I get from your words that you think they should be done figuring everything out. Maybe you got all your recovering done pretty quickly, but why take issue with anyone else's time for doing this? Some people went from Straight right into mental hospitals. I mean, what do you know about what it takes for anyone else to recover from Straight?
Forgive me if I read you wrong. Sometimes the typed medium leads to miscommunications, and words are loaded differently for different people.
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'Get used to it. That's what threads are like, people say what they want to say and don't have to stay "on topic" '
thanks for pointing this out but really, i don't care if people talk about a myriad subjects - my comment in THIS case ONLY related to the aforementioned and beaten to death remarks coupling straight-causation and use. every piece of what i was saying actually helped me to get a grip on my own situation a few years ago, which is why i was passing this on, not to criticize how long it took for someone to get over things, OR about their drug use over all. perhaps i should have said that, but i didn't think i had to; most people write from their personal travels, don't they?
anyway, since it seems to be required, here's the explanation. for ages, i was stuck in this line of thinking that the program was the root cause of every response i had to people, work, drugs etc but it isn't! yeah sometimes i was drinking or smoking whatever when i was depressed about the program, my loss of life, nightmares, fears, rage, or when i didn't want to think about any of it, but it was not having been there that MADE me use again. as you say, the typed medium is tough to discern true meanings in, and the real goal there was that when i started to objectify my own use, i enjoyed it again because i wasn't using it as a related item to straight trauma ie 'the only way i can cope with this is... '
AND the comment about counselling falls under the same category of 'meant to be helpful'. i have had a few friends benefit from talking to someone qualified (tho' it often takes running through a few to find one who fits) but each of them had to pick a different counsellor to the others based on preference of style. personally, i have never been able to touch counselling as i simply can not approach it for my own reasons pre- as well as post-. HOWEVER, in my case, i have found that the objective views from others, and taking what helps from these boards has put me in touch with where to draw these lines with the past. this is what i was passing on. when people say things bluntly, i look at them, take what applies, and leave the rest. if it doesn't apply who fucking cares?
"When you talk about the things people have to say about Straight..."
i wasn't talking about "people", i was referring to ONE thread and what SEEMED to be an unhelpful correlation as mentioned. what I don't see is why people who read these comments extrapolate it to be saying a generalized gang-bang on everybody's issues or anyone speaking about their repercussions. if i didn't think that responses and ongoing issues occur (which BTW i did acknowledge in my post) i sure as shit wouldn't be reading this board off and on this late in MY OWN life in the hereafter, would I?
lastly in regards to the mental health part. no one is denying - least of all myself - that behaviour modifying methodologies can be the cause of, or at least one of the contributing factors to, such mental health related issues as ptsd, depression etc. this never came up as it was nothing to do with my perspective or what i was making a comment about... or, in fact, to the original bent of the postings. however, though i don't see how this entire line of comments relates to anything i was saying, i will still mention that schizophrenia is a chemically-related illness that can be triggered or brought on by stress, but is not caused by it, NOR is it the only cause of the emergence of symptoms. people can develop schizophrenia from childhood until very late in life - even up to 50+ yrs old. it is a lifelong and terrible illness and OBVIOUSLY i would not be so callous or stupid as to tell someone their suffering should be over if they have this to deal with. in case you hadn't noticed tho'... i'm not talking to that person here, AND i wasn't speaking to mental illness at all. as it happens, depression, schizophrenia, suicide and OCDs are things i am very familiar with, again for various personally related reasons.
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cool buddy. :tup: