Fornits
Treatment Abuse, Behavior Modification, Thought Reform => Straight, Inc. and Derivatives => Topic started by: starry-eyed pirate on May 26, 2005, 04:44:00 PM
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As i entered Straight, Springfield in march of 85, Steve Mathews was sitting in group on 1st phase with his hand down. in that sea of mindlessness Steve was a beacon of hope to me. While all the other misbehavers and non-participants(and as a percentage of group there weren't that many) would get stood up and mocked and humilliated, when Steve got stood up he would just kinda smile a little and refuse to get drawn into Staff and the Groups' attempts to trigger his emotions. That's how he was by the time i knew him. Sometime before i got there i understand he was a serious misbehaver. By the time i knew him he had already learned how to keep a tenuous balance between apeasing the group and retaining his integrity. The way i remember him he had a way of disarming the frenzied Group, and before staff would give up and let him sit down he would have everyone laughing, or at least lightening up and maybe smiling. It was great to watch him work. The way he could frustrate the staff with his humor. He managed to stay objective and not get pulled in by personal insults and such. He was intelligent enough not to be confused by all of straights' tactics to get to him. He was one cool kid.
The longer i was in the program the more i paid attention to Steves' way of dealing with staff and the group. Though we never directly communicated, because we were both on 1st phase together, he taught me tons. i modelled my own resistence techniques after his.
After copping out 7 times and nearly 3 years in the program Steve finally turned 18 and withdrew himself. i ran into him one day in northern VA at a 7/11 store on Old Keene Mill Rd. He was with 2 beautiful women and was carrying 2 bottles of wine. i was copped out and on the run at the time. i was really struggling to survive on the street. You know, stealin' food to eat, sleepin' in a different place every night, stayin' out of public during the day. We instantly recognized each other. i told him i was on the run and needed help. He was sympathetic to me and gave me a phone number to reach him at. i watched as he got in the back of some car with the women and the wine. That was the last time i saw him.
Some time later i was brought back to the program. i was back on 1st phase again after having been gone for like a month. One day 2 staff members came and pulled me out of group. They took me into the carpet room, where we were alone. They sat me down and told me that Steve Mathews had killed himself. Whatever i felt at the time i denied because in a way i felt threatened. i believed staff was telling me the truth but i wondered why they chose to tell me. i thought maybe they wanted to use Steves' death to break me down somehow. i acted as though i felt nothing and they took me back to group and i was left alone with the knowledge that a warrior and a teacher and a friend was dead.
i'll never forget Steve Mathews. Whenever i stand alone in battle i'll remember Steve Mathews and the things he taught me. You were righteous brother.
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If you would have justice in this world, then begin to see that a human being is not a means to some end. People are not commodities. When human beings are just to one another government becomes obsolete and real freedom is born; SPIRITUAL ANARCHY.[ This Message was edited by: starry-eyed pirate on 2005-05-26 14:50 ]
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::bump:: .
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thanks for your post. very moving. i've visited the site steve's sister put up and read her writings about him. sounded like a cool guy. once again thank you. i appreciate what you wrote.
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I remember Steve. He was nice to me. I just remember him being on 4th phase for ever. He told me one time about how he lost his arm. Said it was the most stupid thing he ever did and regretted it every day he woke up.
I remember hearing that he had died. I think the staff at the time used it to their advantage saying shit like; If you leave straight you will die other complete garbage.
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Anon, i think you have Steve confused w/a kid who i think was from Boston named Brian (can't remember his last name), he had dark hair. Steve had both of his arms. The kid you're thinking of was in an electrical accident. i think he had been climbing a high voltage powerline when he was electrocuted and had his arm blown off.
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//bump
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n deed he waz very kewl ! i miss him dearly.
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BUMP ! BUMP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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he waz incredibly nice and i remember his smile n the sparkle n his eyes.
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TY 4 THE LENGTHY REMEMBERENCE ! I WAZ 4 MONTHS 7TH STEPPED WHEN dean & paula GAVE ME THE ULTIMATUM OF STARTING OVER BECAUSE I WAZ DATING. I WAZ 18 SO I TOOK THE LATTER SORRY i meant 2 do the dean n paula thing n caps. ooops !.
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Tell Me about it ! I had a 5% chance of livin. I will B there saluting Steve.
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i am doin the bump ppl !
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You need to get honest.
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much respect to Steve Mathews!
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As i entered Straight, Springfield in march of 85, Steve Mathews was sitting in group on 1st phase with his hand down. in that
sea of mindlessness Steve was a beacon of hope to me.
Thanks this made my night! Especially after the weekend i had ironically involving straight and steve. received cards and his funeral guestbook from my mom she's been going thru stuff... opened up to the page about bequests... one sentence... "Donations to Straight Inc." written by my mom. who didnt know any better at the time. It still disgusts me nonetheless. so glad u all are having this memorial service looking forward to it, although its gonna be a tough night. but worth it. Peace!
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Steve sounds like he was a pretty cool guy. Sucks he's gone, we need more people like that around.
rtp2k3
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Your story about Steve was one of the first things I read after looking up Straight in a search engine and it broke my heart. I'm so sorry for what happened.
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Your story about Steve was one of the first things I read after looking up Straight in a search engine and it broke my heart. I'm so sorry for what happened.
Thanks Anne. For some reason it seems to be the first thing a lot of people read. For most i think that's been good for some it's been a bit difficult because they weren't really prepared for memories to come back the way they did. I can't imagine. But it's been a blessing in the sense that I've reconnected w/ so many people who knew him and they all have nothing but wonderful things to say. So while it's such a tragedy I'm just very proud that he made such a positive impact in so many lives in the midst of such chaos and negativity. of course I still wish he were with us, I'm just glad to know the truth now, makes all the difference in the world to me. Thanks again!
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i liked that man.......isn't it funny how in that moment in time for you,you ran into him? not a PARENT or something!.....how come you didn't call him later that day or so on? no money?........hippie
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i liked that man.......isn't it funny how in that moment in time for you,you ran into him? not a PARENT or something!.....how come you didn't call him later that day or so on? no money?........hippie
ooo i can answer that one.. lets see it was evening and steve had two, not one but two beautiful women and a bottle of wine with him. I would have at least waited til the next day lol :) but yeah i curious to as to what happened beyond that day?
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I wonder the same thing...
but I don't remember...
It was tough times...
It was great just to see him. We only talked for a minute. That was the only direct verbal communication we'd ever had. It was great just to be able to directly acknowledge each other outside of $tr8.