Fornits

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An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

Quote

FemanonFatal2.0 wrote:
I actually find it funny, talking to my old program friends and aquaintences how many of them still believe that whole dead, insane or in jail bit... I mean you want proof of brainwashing?... How about the fact that they all give you the same line, without any evidence of that actually being the truth in their personal experience. Like our guest above said, most of us returned to bad behavior after we left far surpassing our childish attempts of rebellion before the program... and what do you know... were still here.

DannyBII wrote:
Femanon/MammaB23,
Well whether you want to believe this or not, it is true.....whole dead, insane or in jail bit.
Ya know I've been down this road before with Femanon and others and it is just not worth it. This is not their experience so I/we cannot expect them to understand. Bottom line, end of story.
I am very happy this was never your reality.
There was a time it was our reality and we did not need a fucking program to make this shit real.

I actually find it funny, talking to my old program friends and aquaintences how many of them still believe that whole dead, insane or in jail bit... I mean you want proof of brainwashing?... How about the fact that they all give you the same line, without any evidence of that actually being the truth in their personal experience. Like our guest above said, most of us returned to bad behavior after we left far surpassing our childish attempts of rebellion before the program... and what do you know... were still here.

I can attest to this. I was in the program for 16 months as an adult and would certainly say that there are a lot of slogans and key phrases that the program certainly forced upon us that come to mind frequently when dealing with any circumstance. Like "Based on Results you have exactly what you Intend." Or "Behavior always follows Beliefs" those are just two of the many.



Thing is, this over generalized estimate of 1000 to 4 is probably not coming from a very reliable source... in my personal experience, talking to hundreds of former students not just from the school I went to but many many others, I find that your estimate is way off. I say more accurately its about 2 to 100, and a majority of that percentage could really care less and just want to move on with their lives. A lot of it has to do with the experience they had, for instance not everyone was physically abused, and every program had a different level of mental and emotional trauma. Just because a former student isn't pissed off enough to join the cause doesn't automatically mean they approve of the program... in fact most people choose to stay ignorant to the truth about the illegal and unethically activities of the program because they just don't feel like dealing with that massive realization.


It's frightening to think of everything that I have been through. Before the program, in the program, and after the program.  I am in the beginning stages of that realization of that which has occurred as "brainwashing" and trying to figure out how to wrap my head around all of it. And to be honest, this massive realization sucks because my parents are very much program parents and are part of the cult. I do not blame them for getting me there, nor am I angry with them for it, but more so that programs like this even exist and are allowed to function, which fuels my fire to fight back. Maybe to save the life of another, if nothing else.:
 

It takes dedication to stand against the program and sadly... only about 4 out of 1000 really have what it takes to make a difference.

The program woke us up

As I look at my son?s picture I see his I AM statement: “I am a happy, loving, beautiful, and honest young man.” And I can feel its truth.

I used to try and measure his time in the Program: 1 year, 4 months, 2 weeks and a day. His way was much easier. He said, “Dad, I was in the Program 500 days.” Duh.

He graduated high school but not the Program. He chose to take his exit plan at 18 and then changed his mind and decided to try a home contract - an option we discussed with the Facilitator at PC18.

He began his Program in Tranquility Bay mostly because it was our only viable option because we knew it would be a long-term commitment; no 30-day intake or wilderness program was going to reach him. When we?d reached “the straw that broke the camel?s back” we made all the arrangements within 36 hours. My brother drove up from North Carolina and we greeted David at 7:30 am with, “Hop in the car, we?re going to take a trip.”

We drove from Richmond to Miami. The trip was hard. Especially when we stopped for lunch and he asked if he could get a tape by the “Sex Pistols” assuring me it was almost a classic and not as bad as I was thinking. The thought running through my head was, “You just have no idea of what is about to happen.” Of course I had no idea of the journey that my wife and I would be taking either!

The next morning we transferred him into the hands of the escorts for the last stage of his journey to Jamaica. It took a toll on me. I bawled and I howled and I shook for an hour as my brother drove. I have NEVER felt lower. We were trusting strangers to do what we couldn?t do ourselves . . . get him to just stop, hold still, and realize life is full of exciting, working possibilities.

The Program is not a quick-fix. After Discovery he wrote a confession letter and I said, “Right. He?s not telling us anything we didn?t know and I don?t buy it.” Then we attended Discovery and I quit smoking; unfortunately, I must do it again.

 He attended Focus and wrote us another confession letter and it took my breath away. We didn?t have a clue as to the amount and variety of drugs he took. I am agog that he had a mind left, let alone the incredible one he started with. I have met only a few people in my life who come close to being as smart and as perceptive as our son.

We attended Focus and I learned to dance.

He was on the cusp of reaching Level 4 when another student confessed that David had shared some of his meds with him a month after David entered the Program. David admitted it, but he had never previously owned up to it so he got to start over at Level I, as he should have. Nevertheless, it was an incredibly bitter pill and he found himself unable to swallow it for months.

We graduated Visions in Seattle and my wife and I almost grasped the brass ring, but doing 100% all of the time hasn?t been quite possible for us on a sustained basis.

At 18, my son left the Program still on Level 1; there had been two more run attempts. One of them was going to be at the airport on the way to PC 18 but the escort service kept an eye on him until the plane taxied.

David worked at his home contract. I suspect David didn?t feel a large enough change in the family dynamic and he left. He traveled about the country but he always returned home. He brought back a girl from California, whom he found amazing. And for him this was extreme praise. He had a part-time job at a synagogue which he really enjoyed. He sensed a deepening change in us and seemed pleased to share fairly regular dinners with us. On his own initiative he had just completed, and submitted, an application for the local university; he wanted to become a librarian, possibly at the Library of Virginia. (Yes. It does take a degree.) He was growing, changing, and looking forward. He was happy.

One night in January he went out drinking with his girlfriend. They had a spat. When they returned to an acquaintance?s apartment, he picked up a gun off a table. He put it to his head, and he said, “I could just shoot myself.” And he did. It had been just three months since his 20th birthday.

In the hospital, the bandage that wrapped his head was blood-soaked. The 38 caliber bullet did not exit. Instead it had ricocheted around in his head destroying his brain. His brain had been such a magnificent creation. He was a thinker who could marshal data and formulate arguments that would have you looking at any question in a new light and seeing new connections, and more likely than not agreeing with him.

Five hours later, David died in the trauma center at the Medical College of Virginia without ever regaining consciousness. He breathed his last breath while I watched.

We buried him Saturday, the first of February. My wife and I both have gaping voids in our hearts. It will hurt until the day we die.

We also know we gave him the gift of four more years of life by choosing to place him in the Program, for he had been in a self-destructive death spiral when we enrolled him. We also know we have been strong for him, not 100%, but damn close. So the gift the Program has given us, by our running the parallel program for parents, is that we have little guilt and aren?t holding pity parties. Grieving - yes. Wracked with self-doubts and guilt - no. I know my wife and I could not have handled this if we had not been working the Program as hard as we have.

My two brothers and I are spread out geographically and chronologically. David?s funeral began the process of our renewing connections. I am still working on last year?s goal of becoming a private pilot. I was discerned onto the Parish Pastoral Council in November. (A Vision?s goal finally realized.) I am making a new goal of reaching out to over 30 wild and woolly young adults whom David touched and who came to his (Catholic) Resurrection Mass.

We sent our son into the Program to wake him up. The Program woke us up!

Our purpose in sharing our story is not just to wake up the teens, although they must learn that every decision is a choice, and every choice yields a result. No. Primarily we?re writing this for the parents of the teens who have NOT gotten it yet. And we met some at every seminar we attended. WAKE UP! Your key to having a whole and healthy family is to work your own program. Stop fighting the Program and the Facilitators. Embrace them! They want the same thing you do! You can?t dictate change for your child, but you can make changes for yourself. Open yourselves to the process so that when the results start coming in, you can live with the outcome . . . whether it is an outstanding reality you helped create or, God forbid, a tragedy such as ours.

by Richard Poprik
In loving memory of his son, David
Tranquility Bay/Carolina Springs Academy
October 2000
 
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That is a seriously brainwashed parent.