Fornits

Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
An open discussion about the troubled parent industry

"Not all parents. Wonderwoman was here asking about programs in 2007. I can only assume that she sent her kid to a program anyways, based on the information in this thread and wonderwoman's older posts. Click on her username and then find users posts and you can see for yourself, this particular parent was not duped. Wonderwoman found fornits before using a program, and looks like fornits was right because now she's back saying the program didn't work."


Wrong again, guest.  I found fornits AFTER she started the TBS, when I started to become disenfranchised and skeptical with the program and started searching the web for answers.

Im sorry Im not gonna answer you twice. as well, just because this forum claims to be moderated wont stop people from insulting you for your choice to send your kid to a program. not sure if you noticed but this forum is frequented by anti program people and even the mods of this sub forum would bash you for your decisions. If anything YOU would be considered the troll.

You "bashers" have nothing to offer other than just that---bashing.  There are thousands of parents out there, myself one, who got suckered into the whole TBS thing and regret it mightily.  So how do we get past it and help our kids now if the only responses we get are condemnations.  It's ya'll that don't have these kids well-being at heart---you just want to bash away at Mom and Dad. Well, Mom and Dad are painfully aware of the mistakes they made. It's obvious you have no true feeling for the kids involved, or else you would offer constructive advice.

Hello to all---I recently posted on the Open Free For All forum. Boy, what a mistake that was!!!!  After searching the site, I found this forum that is moderated and I would like to re-post here in hopes of getting some genuine help.  If you feel the need to berate me, please do so on the Open Free For all forum.  I am truly looking for some help. Here is my original post:

Hi to all---I am tying to help my daughter find the right path and we are just so stuck. She is 18 and did not finish high school, although the plan is for her to get her GED in the next month. She has certainly had a non-traditional teenage experience---wilderness (which she loved, by the way), TBS (which she hated and didn't finish), living on her own at age 17 and working to support herself. She moved back home with us 6 months ago, but she has not been able to move forward in any positive direction. She is very "artsy" and has always wanted to go to art school. She had begun a portfolio 2 yrs ago, and although small, it is good. She really does want to go to college, but the whole "h.s dropout" thing is a huge regret of hers and I think she is really scared to even try for fear of rejection. I am hoping that some of you have had similar experiences and found community colleges, art schools, or even traditional colleges that embraced your non-traditional path. She will need a fairly nurturing and supportive environment as she needs a lot of positive reinforcement. I would be so thankful for any thoughts any of you might share. THANK YOU!!!

Thanks for such a helpful reply.

I've been reading this discussion forum long enough to get the generally held idea re: RTCs and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.   But I haven't read anything on actual rehab facilities for teens and young adults.  I have an 18 yr old whose drug problem is spiralling out of control...dropped out of high school, won't get a job, won't get a GED.  Just gets wasted all night and then sleeps all day.  Is stealing money and drugs from us and lying constantly. Disappears for days on end. This is going nowhere but toward tragedy.  I'm scared to death of these facilities that won't let you talk to you kid for weeks on end. If anyone can recommend some rehabs, I'd greatly appreciate it.  There is nothing in my area for young adults.
Thanks!!!

Thank you, everyone, for your input. To answer some of your questions, we do have a restraining order against the guy, as well as pending charges of battery and carnal knowledge of a juvenile (she was 15, he was 19, when the relationship began). He was out of the picture for 5 months and made no attempts at contact.  My daughter came home on a home pass and she contacted him.  Our lawyer advises us that we can do nothing legally now that she has made first contact.  

We have not worked with a career counseler because she has a very firm goal to graduate from high school and go to an art college (she's very talented in the visual arts).  

Local options are very limited.  We spent 3 months with 2 different local therapists who had trauma experience, but she spiraled out of control.  We have also seen an addiction therapist because of her addictive tendencies in regards to this relationship.   My husband and I go to therapy to help us through this.  EVERY professional we have talked to has told us in no uncertain terms that it would be disastrous to bring her home.    

As far as her needing to see that relationships aren't all abusive, she has seen this her whole life.  We have never, even peripherally, experienced abusive relationships.  Both my husbands and my families are loving and involved and we have continued to have a mutually loving relationship with her.  Intellectually, she has great insights into her personality and how she ended up where she did and for so long.  I swear she could give a lecture on abusive relationships, how  addictive they are and how to get out of them, but when she comes home, she simply cannot stay away.  This terrifies us AND her.

I'm not sure what is meant by "a full assessment", but she did have at least a PTSD assessment done at her TBS by her therapist who had worked a good bit with domestic violence.  He told us that she did meet criteria for PTSD.  Unfortunately, he left the program 2 months after my daughter arrived.

She would love to go to a traditional boarding school and a friend who is an ed con whose practice focuses on that type of school has made a couple of calls.  Unfortunately, it looks like that is not going to be an option because  they all want "medical clearance" and we certainly won't have that.

I looked at www.austinriggs.org.  Frankly, this option scares the hell out of me.  Maybe I'm in complete denial, but I just can't believe she needs a full-blown psychiatric facility.

Again, thanks for all your thoughts.  Please feel free to give me more!!!