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Messages - molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 26, 2011, 07:52:30 PM »
It has been a horrifying experience for me to read so many posts about the bizarre and rampant cruelty at Hyde.  As a parent seeking a healing school for my son, I had to read the first nine pages of Google results to find this website.  On the first two pages of results are many positive evaluations from parents and former students.  I'm wondering whether it might not be helpful for people who are now out of harm's way to describe their experiences on these more readily searchable sites that actively ask for reviews.  Maybe parents would think twice about sending their children to Hyde if they had access to some of what has been described here.

Thanks to everyone for all of the help you've given me.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 22, 2011, 02:40:03 PM »
I'm so sorry that you suffered such cruelty.

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 22, 2011, 02:20:55 PM »
Dear RTP2003,

Thank you for your kind wishes.  I hope that you did not personally endure abusive treatment at a school like Hyde, although your note suggests that you are coming from a place of sorry experience.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I hope so.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 22, 2011, 01:35:13 PM »
Dear Everyone,

I am so grateful for your insightful responses and all of the care that you have shown to my family.  As a result of all that has been written in this thread, my husband and I are no longer pursuing Hyde.  We have considered boarding school to be the last resort--one to provide a safety net should our son be asked to leave his current school.  We don't want to send our son away.  He does have very severe neuropsych challenges according to a recognized expert who sees prescribing meds to be a last resort and yet prescribed them for my son because "he is bouncing off the walls."  My son has ADHD and executive function issues according to a very thorough (and expensive) neuropsych exam which, just to be safe, we are repeating.  We've tried to put as many supports in place as we can afford:  therapy (individual and family), coaching and tutoring.  We are not wealthy people.  Not by a long stretch.  For example:  I've been to one movie in three years and I buy my clothing in thrift shops.  Because he is so bright, he is on partial scholarship at the school he attends but he is holding onto his matriculation by his fingertips because he will not study.  Hyde did not promise us a specific amount of assistance but indicated that there is financial aid available.

We still think that we need a school out of our city as a safety net.  My son has an extremely high IQ and is gifted in writing (he's been published), the visual arts and, especially, music.  If possible, we would like to find a boarding school in the middle-Atlantic or New England areas but we are open to other parts of the country as well.  Does anyone have a suggestion of a boarding school for a kid entering the 9th grade?  No regional public school, except the most marginal and dangerous, is willing to accept him.

Thanks for your kindness and understanding.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 21, 2011, 10:38:31 AM »
Thanks, Samara.  I will read Maia's book.  In terms of the Hallowell books, what I wrote is that I have read Driven to Distraction but not Delivered from Distraction.

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 21, 2011, 10:08:20 AM »
I've never heard of Delivered From Distraction but I'll find it and read it.  I have read a number of books by Ned Hallowell including When You Worry About the Child You Love and Positively ADD.

My son does know that we have been considering Hyde.  He, in fact, completed part of the application.  The only thing that has upset him about the place is the dress code and the fact that he would not be allowed to dye his hair.

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 21, 2011, 03:04:48 AM »
Hi Samara,

My husband and I have both read Driven by Distraction and we gained a lot of understanding from it.  We have not read The Defiant Child but I am going to order it from Amazon now.  Thank you so much for the suggestion.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 21, 2011, 02:03:06 AM »
Thank you to all who have responded.

My 13-year-old, 8th grade son cannot be out of school according to state laws.  The therapist he is seeing is an ADD therapist.   We've run out of educational options (both public and private) except for a school where extremely dangerous kids are warehoused and which is rife with substance abuse and violence that includes an occasional knifing.  I'm not leaving any stone unturned.  Besides Hyde, the therapist has suggested hospitalization because of my son's temper.  While it has not happened in several months, he has beaten me severely.  I am smaller than he is and I cannot defend myself from him.  

I am most certainly not a bot.  I am a despondent mom.  I think that by accident I stumbled upon a forum here that is primarily for people who have been terribly hurt by their educational experiences.  I thank everyone for their caring responses and wish everyone the best.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 20, 2011, 10:40:05 PM »
I forgot to add that my son is artistically gifted.  Also, sorry about all of the misspellings and grammatical errors in my previous post.  It is hard to read what I'm typing through tears.

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 20, 2011, 10:36:31 PM »
I greatly appreciate everyone's response.  It looks like Hyde-Woodstock is a nefarious place and, hence, my family will no longer pursue it as an option.  I'm wondering if anyone knows if Hyde-Bath (the school with which my son's therapist has familiarity) is of the same dark ilk?  Should I consider that branch of Hyde or stike Hyde in its entirety from consideration?

Since I never knew until yesterday that the "troubled teen industry" existed, the question that follows might seem quite naive.  Still, I hope that anyone reading this will bear with me because it will involve revealing far more information than I had hoped to reveal and because I am seeking the solution that might best benefit my son and our family.  What I chose not to post is that my son is on his last option in our community in terms of day schooling.  He is extremely bright but he does not do his homework or study.  He had been violent with both my husband and me up until a few months ago.  Some days he has friends, some days he does not.  He appears to be addicted to the internet.  He has ADHD which has been described as severe.  I believe that my son does have a conscience and, occasionally, he allows me to get close to him.  I love him deeply.  His therapist and the schools he has attended say that he needs more structure than we are capable of providing him at home.  While I do not want to send him away, I am sadly considering that this might be his best option.  Now for my question:  should it be the case that he gets kicked out of the school he is now in, where might I send him that is healing and that would befit a sensitive but lost kid?

I greatly appreciate everyone's help.

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 19, 2011, 05:51:33 PM »
Dear Heretik,

Thank you so much for your clarifying post.  Obviously, I am very anxious about the school situation or I would not be answering responses so soon after they are posted.  Unfortunately, I had never heard of "the troubled teen industry" until today.  Call me naive but I truly had no idea that such an element existed.  Until about a day ago, I only knew that my son's therapist thought that one of the Hyde schools would benefit him and that my friend in Connecticut was appalled at the idea that I would even consider such an option.  I had googled "reviews Hyde School" and found reports that were largely positive.  It was only today that I noticed that some of the sites that I had ignored on my internet searches were those listing schools for troubled kids and I only checked these sites because I was looking more deeply after hearing my friend's concerns about Hyde.   I feel like an idiot now but I thought that Hyde had been mistakenly included on such sites because although my son has ADD and he can be difficult or lazy, I couldn't imagine his therapist thinking that he belonged at a school for troubled kids.  My husband does not like researching things on the internet but if I do the legwork and find reasonably timely information on Hyde he will most likely read it.  At this point, he has decided to call the therapist next week and ask him to share more of what he knows about Hyde.

Sincerely, Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 19, 2011, 03:15:04 PM »
Dear Inculcated,

He did not read the entire threads but dismissed them because he was concerned that they contained outdated information.  I am taking the lead in the research but my husband still has a vote and his vote is likely to be buttressed by the therapist's perception that Hyde is an excellent school.  I should have noted that the therapist has stated that he is currently treating Hyde students and that the school has done them a world of good.  I'll try to locate the other websites that you mentioned.  

Thanks so much!

Molly

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Hyde Schools / Re: PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 19, 2011, 02:57:05 PM »
Thanks so much to everyone who has replied.

I showed this forum to my husband who is very pro-Hyde based upon the therapist's recommendation.  My husband feels that because most of the threads are a few years old that Hyde must have changed and that the people who abused the students are probably gone.  

Does anyone know whether Hyde is still as compromised as it was a few years ago or has it changed course and become a humanistic, welcoming and yet academically rigorous place?  If it has not changed appreciably, I can probably dissuade my husband from pursuing it further.

Thanks so much.

Molly

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Hyde Schools / PLEASE HELP!!! Should I send my son to Hyde???
« on: February 19, 2011, 01:38:24 PM »
Hi,

This is my first post to Fornits.  Last week my son's therapist suggested that I send him away to one of the Hyde boarding schools beginning in September of this year because he has ADD and sometimes misbehaves.  I mentioned the therapist's  suggestion to a friend from Connecticut where one of the campuses is located and she seemed very concerned that I would even consider sending my child to Hyde.  According to my friend, the students are sometimes treated ruthlessly and the administration leaves a lot to be desired.  When I told my son's therapist what my friend had said, he responded that she must be out of her mind and that Hyde would be perfect for my son.  My friend is not out of her mind.  Still, I know no one who has sent their child to Hyde and I only have one friend (the one who lives in Connecticut) who has ever heard of the school.  I'm afraid that if I don't apply to Hyde now it will be to late but I absolutely do not want to send my son to a school that is as doctrinaire as my friend describes Hyde as being.  

Does anyone here know anything about Hyde?

PLEASE HELP!

Molly

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