Author Topic: Needing some help...  (Read 2837 times)

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Offline Anonymous

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Needing some help...
« on: February 15, 2007, 06:10:38 PM »
does anyone who has left MMS sometimes have weird feelings that you cant really explain except that you know it has something to do with MMS?  For instance, a lot of times I am afraid to talk to women because I feel as though they are going to stab me in the back the second they get a chance.  many girls at MMS did this and that is really the only connection i can make to explain these feelings.  does anyone randomly ask their boyfriend for permission or partnership to use the bathroom, thinking that they're supposed to?  i left MMS on my own accord in june of 2005, and although some time has past since i left, i sometimes still feel the same fear and anxiety i did on my first day there.  i really do have a hard time making friends and forming new relationships because i have no trust for others.  some of these problems i had before i went there, and they have gotten worse since.  others developed over the time i was there.  i feel as though this school and my experience there was very detrimental to my life as well as my relationships.  richard and gary are really the only people who ever did anything to help me.  i guess i just need to hear from other alumni or former students who experience these kinds of feelings or fears on a day to day basis.  i need to know im not alone...
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Needing some help...
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2007, 11:24:30 AM »
Hey... I really admire you sharing your thoughts. I actually just finished typing you my experience and I accidentally hit the back button on my computer and it deleted Everything I wrote. SO frustrating. If you are comfortable, leave me your email or just reply to this and let me know you are still checking the site.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Needing some help...
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2007, 10:29:59 PM »
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Needing some help...
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2007, 10:02:30 PM »
I had some issues for awhile and actually have dreams about being sent back sometimes still, 10 years later.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Anonymous

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Needing some help...
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2007, 01:01:20 PM »
I definitely have dreams about being sent back.... it's been almost 7 years now
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline katfish

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Needing some help...
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2007, 11:31:06 AM »
now i simply have dreams about running into john at some conference.  that would be strange.

as an adult he's a tiny man to me, but our history is loaded and I think it'll be hard not to experience him w/ that fear... this is weird, but fear that i did not protect him and hence disappoint... part of me automatically thinks that i should've never 'ratted' on a guy who worked to help me and dedicated his life... and the REAL messed up thing is I don't REALLY believe that way... it's just I feel that way habitually... it was drilled into my minds a million different ways during my time there... we owe MMS & John Mercer our lives...don't we girls?  Anyway, I think that initial regressed state would kick in and it would take a  moment to get over, but not too long.  Now I see him as a rather pathetic figure, his omnipotence gone...

still, those dreams reveal that fear... remind me of the paralyzing fear i felt while at MMS.  shudder.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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